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As Siyeon enters the dorm she breathes a sigh of relief at the familiar environment. Today had been busy, and with her not having slept well the night before, it had drained out all the energy she’d had about halfway throughout the day. She somehow managed to keep going but she was now beyond tired and sure she was well into the territory of sensory overload. Her clothes itch and the sound from the TV playing in the background makes her want to cover her ears. She toes her shoes off and makes a beeline for her room, not wanting to accidentally snap at someone else in the dorm just because they say something to her.
Siyeon enters her room and finds it empty. She feels a little guilty that she’s happy about it, because it’s not like Minji is an unpleasant presence around her or that she wants Minji gone, she just really needs no one to bother her right now.
The itching of her clothes is starting to become unbearable and she quickly takes them off and then puts on her soft pyjamas. Now that the two main stressors have been removed, Siyeon feels her head quiet down and walks to her bed to try to sleep as soon as possible.
After half an hour Siyeon is still awake. There’s frustration running through her entire body and she still feels like everything is too much. The muted sounds from beyond the closed door annoy her, as does the small sliver of light leaking into the room. Even though she can’t see it when she closes her eyes, for some reason the knowledge that it’s there is enough for irritation to bubble up. In combination with that, she cannot get comfortable for the life of her and she continuously feels like she’s floating, no matter how far she burrows into her duvet. The frustration comes to a head and her body is full of tension that needs to be released and in a desperate bid to avoid crying, she thumps the wall with her foot.
She immediately regrets it. While a big part of the too big emotions has now calmed down, her foot hurts. Siyeon feels frustrated tears come up and after hesitating for a second she grabs her phone to text Yooyeon asking her if she’s home.
While waiting for an answer Siyeon fights the urge to cry. While she knows it would probably help with the emotions stuck inside of her, she absolutely hates crying. The headache that comes afterwards seems to be immune to painkillers and she'll feel that she’s cried all day long.
Her phone pings and her heart fills with hope and want when Yoohyeon confirms that she’s in the dorm.
singnie: can u come to my room :(
yooh: be there in a few :)
Siyeon turns off her phone, glad to no longer have to look at the screen and after a few seconds, Yoohyeon softly knocks on the door to announce her presence and then opens it. She closes it behind her and shuffles through the darkly lit room to where Siyeon is. As she gets closer Siyeon can see that despite the soft smile on her face, concern shines in her eyes and Siyeon feels her love for Yoohyeon grow. She cares so much for others, is so observant and is willing to give so much of herself to make others feel happy and content and Siyeon has always admired that about her. In turn, she does her best to put Yoohyeon first as often as she can, to show that she appreciates all that Yoohyeon does for her and the other members.
Yoohyeon, also already in her pyjamas, squats down next to Siyeon’s bed and looks at her.
“You had a busy day, didn’t you?” She asks softly, as though she knows that Siyeon is incredibly sensitive to sound right now. And honestly, after all these years of knowing each other, she probably does.
Siyeon nods an affirmative and reaches for Yoohyeon’s hand to pinch it. She feels more grounded but it’s not enough. She must have frowned or made some face because Yoohyeon softly strokes her hair and asks her, “what do you need?” In a voice so full of love and caring that Siyeon can’t help but tear up from how much she loves Yoohyeon in return.
“Pressure. I need pressure.” Siyeon whispers, despite the fact that talking feels like it’s impossible, she manages to explain what she needs and Yoohyeon immediately understands. She and Yubin have been doing this with Siyeon since the beginning and at this point, they both just instinctively know what she means with one simple word.
Yoohyeon nods and climbs into the bed and sits down behind Siyeon. Siyeon turns around to face her, sits up and readily collapses into Yoohyeon’s waiting arms. Yoohyeon’s arms encircle her and push her own arms against her body, and she slowly increases the pressure of the hug. Siyeon feels the stress and tension drain from her body as Yoohyeon holds her tight. They stay in that position for a few minutes until Siyeon yawns and Yoohyeon lets up to allow Siyeon to fill her lungs with air.
“Do you want to sleep?” Yoohyeon whispers and Siyeon nods and then holds open the covers for Yoohyeon.
Yoohyeon crawls under and Siyeon moves to lie down on her stomach and looks up at Yoohyeon.
“Stay?”
She’s asked Yoohyeon and Yubin this question an uncountable amount of times and still feels nervous and vulnerable every single time, despite knowing they’ll never do anything but respond with care and stay for as long as they can.
Yoohyeon smiles at her with that smile that makes Siyeon’s heart race and she lies down, body almost all of the way on top of Siyeon’s, and Siyeon hums with content. She reaches out for one of Yoohyeon’s hands to pinch and to hold when she gets too tired for that. Yoohyeon’s other hand starts softly massaging her temple and she giggles when Siyeon lets out a deep sigh at the feeling.
“I love you, Siyeon. So much. You know this right? Yubin and I love you so much, no matter what.”
Siyeon smiles softly at Yoohyeon’s words. Yoohyeon likes to tell them she loves them and wants to make sure that they know, because she never, ever wants them to feel like she loves them less at any point in life. “I know, Yooh. I love you, too. You make me feel very loved and cared for, and I want to thank you for that.” Siyeon closes off her sentence with a small yawn and she feels Yoohyeon smile.
They both calmly breathe in each others presence and Siyeon whines the moment Yoohyeon’s hand leaves her temple.
“Shh baby, I’m texting Yubs to tell her that if she wants to join us, she can. I’ll be right back to massage your temple.”
Yoohyeon starts massaging her temple again and seconds later the door opens and closes and another body joins them under the covers. Siyeon opens her eyes and smiles as Yubin kisses her and then Yoohyeon’s foreheads. Yubin smiles back and moves her fingers down from Siyeon’s forehead to beneath her eyes to close her eyelids and holds Siyeon’s unoccupied hand.
Before she knows it, she falls asleep. Yoohyeon’s grounding and calming pressure on her back, her temple being massaged and Yubin’s comforting presence finally helping her relax enough to sleep.