Chapter Text
Caesar Zeppeli liked to say he was a simple man. That was a lie, he was very particular about everything he did. He was especially particular in who he decided to become allies with, but there was one exception.
Joseph fucking Joestar.
Caesar absolutely hated the obnoxious brit when they first butted heads, but his trainer, maestra Lisa Lisa, had forced them to work together. This wouldn’t be a problem for Caesar usually, since he was naturally sociable and cooperative, but Joseph was different. He would be more tolerable if he would give him a break once in a while, but he never left him alone. Caesar couldn’t stand anything about him.
He couldn’t stand his looks. Granted, the boy was about as buff and sculpted as a greek hero, but he was extremely messy. His hair was always in some unkempt fringe that he never fucking fixed, and he dressed as if he had gone temporarily blind when picking his outfits. He couldn’t stand his brain. Caesar had been wondering for a while if Joseph even had one of those. Though he’s observant and quick-witted when he wants to be, that was only for his own entertainment. Based on how he acts normally, it was evident that even if he did have one, it was underdeveloped and barely put to use. And he definitely couldn’t stand the way that he talked. Every time Joseph opened his mouth, Caesar felt the overwhelming urge to punch him. It didn’t even matter what he was saying, just the fact that he was speaking made him angry.
Day after day he had to deal with this asshole. Unbelievable.
As for Joseph, he lived to push Caesar’s buttons, it’s what he did best. Everything he did was, in some way or another, a ploy to get a reaction out of the italian. To make him yell, to make him curse, to make him call him ‘idiota’ or ‘deficiente’ or his personal favorite, ‘cervello di cane’. Jojo found an unusual amount of satisfaction from getting Caesar to insult him, but it's not like he liked getting insulted. He didn’t, really.
Okay maybe he thought it was a little hot, but that’s beside the point.
The reactions he wanted out of Caesar weren’t always negative either. Sometimes he liked the praise the italian would give him. The things Joseph would do to get Caesar to praise him for something was astonishing, as Lisa Lisa noted once. The brit enjoyed both reactions equally.
These two were, as both Lisa Lisa and Suzie liked to put it, an unstoppable force and an immovable object. With Caesar’s stubbornness and Joseph’s undying persistence, there was bound to be some kind of clash at least once a day.
And there was.
Throughout the months they spent together on Air Supplena island, there was never a day that went by without one taking a jab at the other, without an argument, without some sort of confrontation.
This was an ever growing thorn in Lisa Lisa’s side, since she was the one who put these two to work together in the first place. Their squabbling always got in the way of their training, and it was getting to the point where almost no training was being done at all. Something had to be done about that.
“Boys!” she called, finally fed up with their mid-training quarreling.
The two giants perked their heads up, the blonde apologizing first. “Apologies maestra, he was getting on my nerves.”
“What?!“ Joseph called out defensively, “What was I even doing??” he asked in a voice that clearly showed he was guilty.
“Oh you know what you did Jo—“
“BOYS.” she interrupted, louder this time. “That is enough! This has been going on for far too long. No training ever gets done between you two, and it has been a pain in my ass to try to train you. Therefore, I’ve decided on a small ‘training exercise’ to get you two to work together better.” She pulled two seemingly normal rings from her pocket. “Take one of these, put them on.” she ordered. The two followed suit, Caesar putting it on his right ring finger and Joseph watching him, doing the same.
“What the hell are—“ Joseph began.
“Save your questions until the end, Jojo. I will explain.” Lisa Lisa interrupted, earning a nod from the brunette.
”These rings are filled with hamon. One is filled with positive hamon, the other with negative. These opposite charges will act like magnets between you, creating a barrier of about 5 meters in which you will not be able to break. The rings are unremovable until I break them. This means that you two will have to do everything together from now on until you learn to get along.”
Hearing this solicited a groan of annoyance from both of them.
“This also means you will now be sharing a room. If one person wants to do something, the other will have to cooperate. Do you understand?”
“Yes, maestra.” Caesar answered first, earning a scoff and a mutter from the taller boy. “What was that, Joestar?” he glared.
The brunette faked a coughing fit, muttering a “suckup.” between coughs.
“Joseph.” Lisa Lisa said sternly before another argument erupted. “Do you understand?”
He groaned, but reluctantly answered. “Yes, Lisa Lisa.”
“Good. This concludes our training for today, I expect you two to learn from this exercise. Suzie Q will be making dinner shortly, both of you go wash up.” she ordered, waving them off and walking to her own room in the large building.
After the two boys got to their shared room, Joseph was first to express his dissatisfaction. He plopped onto the bed on the left side of the room, groaning into his pillow. “Can you believe that bitch?” he started, “One of these days, I swear I’m gonna—“
“Don’t talk about Lisa Lisa like that, deficiente.” the other interrupted. “She’s doing this for our own good. Besides,” his tone changed to one of more condescending intent. “you could stand to learn some cooperation for once.” Caesar wasn’t happy about this either, in fact he was probably even more upset with having to be within close proximity of the other, but being the older and more mature of the two, he had to respect Lisa Lisa and her methods.
“You could stand to shut your mouth for once.” the younger retorted childishly, in true Joseph fashion.
“Sei così immaturo.” Caesar muttered. That was yet another thing Caesar couldn’t stand about him. His childishness. It wasn’t any sort of innocence that earned him that label, he was well beyond that. It was his way of reacting. It was his quickness to mockery and teasing and pouting when he didn’t get his way. It was his constant craving for anarchy and mischief. It was his emotional immaturity. That is what earned him that label.
“What was that, Caesarino? I don’t speak ravioli.”
“Very clever, Jojo.” he rolled his eyes. “You know damn well what I said, idiota.”
The brunette grinned, his stupid, shit-eating grin he always had when he successfully annoyed Caesar. Caesar knew this grin well, and worked to keep himself calm in order to delay any more satisfaction Joseph would aim to earn from pushing his buttons.
“I’m going to shower,” Caesar began, “let me know if maestra calls for dinner.”
Joseph simply nodded, staying in his bed while he listened to Caesar turn the shower on, and following the blades of the ceiling fan with his eyes until he got bored. Luckily, Caesar was a quick showerer, so Joseph didn’t have to wait long for his entertainment. The italian walked out of the bathroom in loose sweatpants and a towel over his shoulder. His hair was half-wet and slightly dripping, still.
“How was it?” Joseph asked, just out of pure boredom and curiosity.
“It was fine, I suppose—“ the blonde answered, a bit confused as to why he asked, but used to Joseph’s need to acquire useless information. “You should try it for yourself, porco. I can smell you from here.”
“Wh— hey! That’s a bit rude, don’t you think?” the younger boy retorted, jokingly offended at the little jab at him.
“You’re one to talk on ‘rude’, Joestar.” Caesar scoffed, moving to his side of the bedroom to find a t-shirt. “I’m serious, go shower before Suzie finishes cooking.”
Joseph rolled his eyes, groaning as he sat up. “And what if I don’t? You’re not the boss of me, Caesarino.”
“Why are you so reluctant to take a shower, cane?” the other responded. “Do you enjoy smelling like shit?”
“No, I don’t, I just—“ he couldn’t think of a sound reason as to why he didn’t want to shower other than the fact that being stubborn would annoy Caesar. “Fine.” he begrudgingly stood up and grabbed his clothes for after his shower.
“Ah, so you can listen.” Caesar noted condescendingly. “Good boy.”
“Oh, shut it, would you?” he called before shutting the door to the bathroom a bit louder than he intended to.
“Be careful with the door, you ass!” Caesar spat, worried the other would break it if he slammed too hard. Joseph was known for his clumsiness due to not knowing his own strength, so it wasn’t out of the question for that to happen.
Caesar sat on his bed, waiting for the younger boy to finish his shower.