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obi-wan felt it. he felt the way the sadness crept in and dimmed the edges of the force signature he loved so wholly. he felt it fading in and out whenever he was around, and while that was at least a small comfort - for it meant that you were at least happy in his presence - the lingering sadness had been there for days. and obi wan couldn’t bear to see you suffer in silence any longer.
you’re sadness was overwhelming your force signature, though you were not aware of it, and obi-wan wished that he could focus on relaying his latest mission into holofile for the archives, but it was damn near impossible when you were sitting so delicately and so forlorn on his bed, losing yourself in a holo-book to keep the sadness at bay. he wanted more than anything to be in your arms, pressing kiss after fluttering kiss to the curve of your heated cheek, to see you smile and feel the sadness lose its grip on the one he so dearly loved.
he loved that about you: how strongly your emotions were shown through the force. your angelic halo of soft sweetness was adorable to obi-wan, especially when it mixed with his and softened the edges of his grief-wracked essence and ebbed the pain of holding the weight of the galaxy on his shoulders.
but that was besides the point. your sadness, and the simple remembrances of your smile and your laugh was enough to tug at his heartstrings. the idea that something was bothering you, a fault that could potentially trace itself back to him, was worrying him. and so, in the soft, blue light of the fading day, with the bustling, silvery coruscant as a shining backdrop, obi-wan sat before your place on his bed and tried to make it better. a single, ever-gentle, fingertip brushed along your jawline before delving smoothly into your hair, and brushing the strands that had fallen into your beautiful face behind your ear - diverting you from the holo-book that had so thoroughly held your attention only moments before. the sensation of his gesture and the softness that lingered in his starry, ice blue gaze brought a small smile to your lips, but only for a moment before it returned to nothingness.
‘whatever is the matter?’ he fussed, worry drawing a slight crease between his brows, and collecting in the forming wrinkles by his eyes - a small detail of his which you absolutely adored. 'your signature. it feels…sad and conflicted.’
your head dipped in shame at obi’s question.
your head dipped in shame at obi’s question.
he was a jedi, you a senator; he was constantly across the galaxy fighting a war that you were stuck dictating, praying to the maker that he would return. he had only just returned from a mission in the outer rim that had taken months, and now in three rotations he would be gone again, off to some remote planet or star system to hunt down the separatists and the sith, to bring the good within him to the galaxy.
yes, of course something’s the matter, my sweet jedi.
how could you tell him? how could you so selfishly claim that you were not whole without him - him and his comforting presence waiting for you in your chambers after a long day of debates in the senate chambers, his soft words of comfort and his sweet nothings that fell from his lips like honey, the way his strong arms would hold you so delicately close and his fingertips would lose themselves in your hair on the days when the war was especially hard on the both of you, his laughter, his shining blue eyes and strawberry blonde beard, and warm smile and just him - when billions of lives depended on him and his 212th. how could you so selfishly want for him, when it was already forbidden, already against his code, when his deft hand and shining lightsaber and his incredible negotiating skills and duty was to the galaxy, not to you.
your silence was deafening, and obi-wan was drowning in it. and so he raised a gentle hand to the soft curve of your cheek, letting his thumb run loving little circles into the skin there as if to say please, darling… I’m here. just tell me.
you couldn’t help but lean into his touch, eyelashes fluttering against his palm to hide the tears that had sprung to your eyes and burned like the wildfire of guilt, lips soft and plump as they hid themselves in his touch.
and then his hand lifted from your cheek, so he could place his forehead against yours as two fingers grazed your temple gently - a polite and loving query, a plea to let him in.
'may I, darling?’ obi-wan asked, words no more than a heated whisper that fanned against your skin delicately.
and with a nod and your silent permission, you felt your energy gently flex inward as his consciousness became one with yours, the warmth of his signature melding with your own. a tear fell gently down the curve of your cheek and collected along the ridge of obi wan’s thumb before it cascaded down his wrist. obi-wan found tears of his own gathering beneath fluttering lashes at the mixture of longing and guilt that filled him as you let him in.
'oh, my starlight.’
eyes fluttered open, shining with the silvery light of stars and of coruscant and with worry and guilt, longing and love.
'I’m sorry, obi-wan, I know you-“
your pain-filled whisper was cut short by obi-wan’s lips, soft and kind against your own as he held the sides of your face with gently calloused hands. you could feel the remnants of his signature, warm and strong, still mixing with your own.
now it was obi-wan’s turn to bow his head under the heavy weight of war. his hands found your palm, fingertips pressing lightly against your pulse as he lifted your hands to his lips with his own. his beard was soft and tickled the backs of your hands as he pressed kiss after kiss to the soft hills and valleys of your knuckles.
'my duty is to you, first and foremost. it’s this blasted war that is tearing me away from my duty, from where I belong… from you. not the other way around.’
his words were soft, and his lips kind as they brushed delicately against your skin as he talked in barely more than a strained whisper, kissing trails of love along your hands and upwards towards your wrists.
'but thousands-millions even… they owe their lives to you obi-wan. you break the code for me, risk everything for me, and on top of that you have a war to fight and win,’ you worried, the tears beginning to spill over. 'and here I am, crying like a child over your departures as if I have some claim to you, as if my life is more important than a galaxy of others who-’
’oh, my starlight, no,’ obi-wan’s gaze shot up to find your own, soft and serene, and filled with twinkling, sobbing stars dancing in his own tear-glazed gaze in that moment where his brows were drawn together to form that soft little line between them and his frown was so profound that the beard of auburn and gold did very little to hide it.
'darling, I need you to forget about that, forget about the galaxy, and listen to my words, alright? can you do that for me?’
you nodded softly, a timid, worried signal to continue. his hands, oh those strong, calloused hands, so delicate against your skin, so loving and protective, found the sides of your face again, his thumbs wiping the tears away until they were no more.
'this war would mean nothing to me if it weren’t for you. i am a jedi, yes, a trained warrior and a negotiator, a pilot and a general. but above all, I am yours. you hear me?’
the emphasis he put on the word yours was enough to make your heart melt, sprout wings of white feather and take flight, and shatter into a million pieces all at once. and as if the soft push of the dark warmth of his timbre and the soft lilt of coruscanti basic through the space between the two of you wasn’t enough, he pressed a kiss to your forehead, pushing through the force the absolute adoration he had for you, the highest regard to which he held you in his heart. you were his starlight, the entity of life and light around which he revolved. and a war, nor a code of aloof isolation could stray him from your gravitation.
his hands fell from your face, sliding to the back of your head and the curve of your spine, guiding you into his arms and comforting embrace. you sighed as he tucked your chin into the curve of his neck and broad shoulder, gathering you into him and holding you tight.
'I know its hard, darling. i hate to leave you for months on end too, to not be able to hold you close after a long day in the senate and in the council, to not see your lovely smile, to worry that your safe and some blithering idiot hasn’t attempted to take your life from me. it takes all I have not to turn around and run back into your arms the moment I leave. I feel your sadness, darling. I feel it across star systems, from the outer rim to the edges of wild space, for maker’s sake. our grievances with this war are one, I assure you.’
you knew obi-wan could feel your tears streaming from your face on onto his bare shoulder in that moment, and you thanked the maker and the stars above when his fingers started combing gently through your hair and rubbing soothing circles in your back, calming you in the ways he knew only he could.
'but you have to understand, this war changes nothing about how I feel for you. you are entitled to your love, my starlight, just as I am to mine… to you. it is not selfish, not when your presence in the force has become one with mine, and mine with yours. my love for you only grows stronger the more I’m away from you, and solidifies its existence in my heart in your presence. yes, thousands of lives depend on me, but I depend on you, darling. I am yours, not the galaxy’s… yours.’
obi-wan pulled you gently from your place upon his shoulder, your arms sliding from his back like silk and chiffon sliding gently, lovingly against cotton and wool. his stormy gray irises softened to a shining blue, devotion twinkling like stardust in the dim light of his chambers as his gaze found yours, and a smile so whole and so true spread across his lips, and caused his eyes to wrinkle sweetly at the corners while he held you steady with those loving hands against your cheeks, tear and heated blush mixing upon their surface.
'darling, stop crying, your going to make me cry,’ he chuckled softly, pressing a kiss to your forehead, the storm of guilt and longing that had been forming over the past few days now dissipating to a lovely sun shower in your heart.
'forgive me,’ you laughed quietly, a smile taking over and eyes fluttering shut delicately, knowing that his accusation was only made in jest to make you smile.
his forehead met yours, soft auburn hair, tickling your cheek as it fell from its neat place atop his his head. in that moment you couldn’t be happier, your worries dissipating into the nothingness of the quietly sweet moment.
'you are my reason to fight, darling. but more importantly, you are my reason to live, to return, to make this galaxy a better place for the both of us. I know it takes weeks and months away from us, my love, but I will not leave you… and I will never stop loving you.’
his words may have dissipated into the cool evening air around you, but they had burned themselves into your heart and into your memory, for later use when he waso off-planet again and you were in need of his comfort.
'darling?’
the words broke the comfortable silence that had fallen over the two of your.
'yes, obi?’
'once this war is over,’ obi-wan whispered, his words full of weight and of love. 'say the word, and I will leave the jedi order.’
your eyes shot open, shock sending you reeling out of the soft moment as a gasp fell like forget-me-nots from your lips. you searched obi-wan’s now equally frantic gaze for any semblance of a joke, the humor and sarcasm he was so ell equipped with. yet, all you can find in his cerulean gaze is love, fidelity, devotion, and a down-right seriousness which shook you to your core.
'obi-wan! you can’t be serious!’
'I am, darling,’ he sighs, 'if it means a place in the galaxy that is only ours… the rest of my eternity spent with you, then I will.’
'but your position on the council! the order-’
'are nothing compared to the purpose I have found in you, my starlight.’
oh… oh obi-wan.
'your love gives me strength,’ he sighed, gaze softening once more from their serious sharpness that had filled them only moments before, the severity of his promise ebbing away to loving truth as his thumbs began their circling comfort once more. 'and no code nor meditative session can give me the sense of goodness and purpose your love does. should you give me the chance and the honor, my starlight, I will leave the order. but the choice is yours. do you understand?’
'obi-wan, are you completely sure that’s what you want?’
'as sure as I am that you are here before me, tucked into my arms, and that it is here with you that I belong,’ he murmured, the corner of his lips quirking upward slightly into a lopsided grin. a note of worry plagued his aura as the adorable little crease formed once more between his brows. oh, how you wanted to kiss his worry away, starting with that adorable little crease.
'is it what you want?’
'I just laid my thoughts and feelings from the past few months before you, obi-wan,’ you laughed, with a delicate shake of your head, a shining smile and an adorable scrunch of the bridge of your nose that sent obi-wan’s heart flying through the stars. 'you truly think I wouldn’t want you all to myself for as long as you can bear to be with me?’
a hearty laugh filled the small quarters as obi-wan threw his head back in laughter at your comment, falling back happily onto the clean linens with you not so far behind.
'there is nothing to bear, darling,’ he smiled happily, the whole of the corellia system shining in his loving eyes, as he began to fiddle with the hair that had fallen into your eyes. ’and everything to love.’
you reveled in the way his arms wrapped around you in that moment, holding you to his broad chest as your fingertips delved into the auburn waves of his beard, before pressing a kiss so sweet to his lips, that you couldn’t help but linger mere centimeters from him after they parted from your own.
'you better end this war soon then, general kenobi.’
obi-wan’s heart burst aflame at the sound of his title falling like a prayer from your loving lips, lips that burned to meet yours again and again in thunderingly sweet succession.
'for you, my shining starlight… my darling, the galaxy is yours.’