Work Text:
December 1, 1982, 11:58 AM
I have decided to keep notes of my muse's possessions from now on, separate from my regular journal entries. After all, while I trust my muse to use his time in my body productively - the hours worth of research he wrote for me last time sure prove that - I am interested in the other changes that come with him possessing my body.
For instance, I'm still quite perplexed about that pain in my right eye that appeared not long after the first possession. Maybe having my muse see through my eyes strains them too much? It could be possible. I need to conduct more research on that.
December 5, 1982, 8:43 AM
Again my muse provided me with more hours worth of research, just like he promised at our last meeting. I don't know what I would do without him! Clearly I should consider myself blessed to have such great friends and partners like my muse and F.
Just like last time, I read through all the neatly written calculations my muse had provided for me and I noticed that, between two sketches, he had actually written a small, personal note for me which read:
“Ate your leftover pizza for compensation. Also most of your other stuff in the fridge. You should go buy more food. Can't build the portal when you're starving to death!”
I actually cracked a smile at that line. My muse always likes telling jokes. And it's hard to be mad at him for taking some (okay, most) of my food, when I'm making him do all of my work. Really, once the portal is complete, I need to make it up to him somehow.
December 5, 1982, 10:27 AM
F just read through all of “my” research notes and he saw the note my muse had written, the one about the food. I have to admit, his face while reading it sure was hilarious!
December 9, 1982, 3:56 PM
This morning I surprisingly awoke sitting up on my desk, despite going to sleep in my bed. My left arm had been strangely hurting (it's better now) and some of my personal notes had been strewn around on the desk. I wonder if my muse was curious about them - about my life - and had read through them. Because this time there wasn't any work that he needed to do for me.
Curiously, when I gathered up these notes and put them away, some of them had been missing. I wonder where they went. I hadn't been able to locate them so far and I was forced to stop my search midway through thanks to a sudden stomach ache.
I will ask my muse next time about the papers whereabouts.
December 12, 1982, 1:09 PM
It appears that my muse has left a hidden message inside my journal while I slept. At least that's how I interpret those strange symbols. I tried translating them, but it doesn't appear to be one of our known languages. I will keep trying though, since I am curious in what it says.
December 16, 1982, 6:32 PM
My muse has finished another two hours worth of pages for me. I really need to think of a way to make it all up to him.
The whole day afterwards my body had been aching in different places. It would seem that, even though I'm technically asleep and resting, my body can still get overworked while my muse is controlling it. In that case I should probably start catching up on some proper sleep, even if we run the risk of falling behind schedule.
Though I'm not worried of that happening, since we are already so far ahead, thanks to the help of my divine friend.
December 19, 1982, 11:46 AM
This morning two more messages appeared in my journal. What kind of game is my muse playing with me? I must admit, I'm pretty invested now, even spending a significant portion of my free time on decoding them.
My muse must be trying to challenge me, to challenge my talents. I intend to not disappoint him. This should be quite interesting.
December 25, 1982, 2:13 PM
Unfortunately I had no luck with solving the riddle so far, but I'm still working on it.
I should've enough free time for that now, what with my injury. Apparently my muse, while using my body yesterday, had a little accident and now I have to rest my right hand and leg for a while. He was even so polite to let me know of the incident by leaving a note on a piece of paper right next to me.
I don't intend to hold it against him. After all, accidents happen and as my muse has told me before, he isn't that used to human bodies and earth's gravity.
It's a good thing that I have F at my side and that all of the calculations and blueprints needed for the portal are already completed (thanks to my muse), so the injury shouldn't hinder me that much. We should still be able to finish on time.
January 8, 1983, 10:37 AM
The portal is almost done and I'm almost completely healed from my injuries (though the bruise on my leg is taking a suspiciously long time to go away - might have to look into that). I knew we could do it!
I still haven't solved my muse's riddle yet and with how busy I've been lately, I have put in on pause for now. I hope he understands, but I'm sure he does. After all, the portal is our top priority.
Speaking of my muse, he has once again robbed a significant portion of our food. While I do understand his fondness for human food, especially my sweets (since I don't think muses normally get to eat), I really need to speak with him about the topic of rationing.
Well, off to the shop I go...
January 14, 1983, 9:38 AM
The day of the test is getting near and I can't wait to finally see the fruits of our labor. Even though tensions are kind of high and me and F are both exhausted from work, I actually feel kind of calm when I think of the upcoming big day.
Soon humanity will enter a new stage of knowledge. And it will all be thanks to my wonderful friend!
January 20, 1983, 6:43 AM
Bill has possessed my body again!
I was afraid of that possibility - even knew it was gonna happen – but I am still freaked out about it. How can I not be? After all, I was the one who gave him full access to my body and I am the only one standing between him and total global destruction now. If he takes over me and gets the portal running, it could spell doom. I have to disable it post-haste!
January 22, 1983, 5:17 PM
I've been noticing some new injuries lately. Injuries that are definitely self-inflicted.
Bill is punishing me for resisting him. Torturing me. He is trying his best to make me crack under the pressure. But I don't intend to give up. I will keep fighting him.
I really wish F was still here. I miss him. He might have known what to do next.
January 24, 1983, 3:47 AM
More injuries have appeared. Apparently Bill had been busy stabbing my arms and legs with a fork. At least that's what it looks like.
So far I've managed to stay awake for most of the time, which is why he wasn't able to wreak too much havoc with my body. But after so many days, sleep is starting to catch up to me more and more often. I need to think of better solutions.
January 24, 1983, 1:04 PM
I just came back from the store with a big supply of coffee. This should help me keep awake. That is, as long as Bill doesn't get to it and destroy it, the way he has gotten to my other food before. I better lock it away safely...
January 26, 1983, 1:21 AM
Another two hidden messages have appeared in my journal. I'm getting really worried now. Bill is writing in my journals (using them!) while I am completely helpless and unaware of it! And I can't help but feel that he is mocking or threatening me with this.
In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he had been mocking me right from the very beginning. The unexplainable pains and injuries, the first hidden messages... Bill has been toying with me this whole time!
I have to get rid of the journals.
January 28, 1983, 11:46 PM
Bill is doodling in my journal now! Now two of my pages are full of little eyes and self-portraits of him, all there to mock me and remind me of his presence. I immediately scribbled over them.
My back hurts and I don't know if it's because of me staying up for hours on end and sitting on my desk, hunched over my notes, or if Bill did something to my body again. It's hard to tell.
It's also hard to think. The constant drowsiness makes it hard to really focus. I need to buy more coffee.
Yesterday I sent a postcard out, asking someone I know and can hopefully trust for help. All I can do now is wait...
January 29, 1983, 4:34 PM
I just fell asleep a few minutes ago and woke up lying outside in the cold. I should consider myself lucky that I woke up when I did and didn't catch massive hypothermia.
Better make myself more coffee.
January 31, 1983, 0:21 AM
Another injury, this time on my left leg. I'm getting really tired of Bill's antics. And also of the waiting. I hope my brother comes soon. I hope he comes at all.
January 31, 1983, 0:43 AM
I found more doodles. I immediately erased them too.
February 2, 1983, 3:29 AM
Need to stay awake. Need to stay awake. Need to stay awake. Need to stay awake need to stay awake need to stay awakeneed tostay awak neeedto
February 2, 1983, 9:05 AM
More bruises, this time on my stomach.
February 4, 1983, 6:45 PM
I thought up two possible hiding spots for two of my journals. I'm gonna go and hide them tonight. The sooner I'm rid of them, the better. Bill is still drawing in them, so I need to do this right now.
February 7, 1983, 2:58 PM
Everything is ready for when my brother arrives. If he hasn't abandoned me has heeded my call for him, he should hopefully arrive soon.
I hope he does the right thing for once and takes the last journal with him.
February 8, 1983, 1:28 AM
More bruises. Need to buy coffee again.
February 13 (?), 1983, Time unknown
I never thought that I would come face to face with my tormenter himself, in his own dimension, without the protection of the dreamscape between us.
Not that I was ever really protected against Bill, after foolishly giving him access to my body and mind, but there was always a certain... distance between us, what with him existing in another dimension. The threat, while always there, never felt quite as real as in that moment I got sucked into my own portal and came face to face with him.
Luckily I managed to evade him and escape that wretched place, but that doesn't mean I'm save. I'm still trapped in this weird, foreign dimension and Bill still has access to my mind and can take control of me whenever he so pleases. And the likelihood is high that he is now out to get me, after I failed him with the portal. I need to get as far away from this place as possible (while avoiding unnecessary sleep) and device a plan to defeat him once and for all.
February 14 (?), 1983, Time unknown
Against my better judgement, I fell asleep while walking through this thick, otherworldly forest. I was only planning to rest for a minute or two, while sitting against that purple tree, but I somehow fell asleep immediately. I must've been more exhausted than I thought.
I can't remember what I dreamed about, but I awoke with a start, sweating all over and I had to wait several minutes for my body to finally calm down. Did Bill do something to me in my sleep or was that just regular anxiety, caused by mental and physical exhaustion? When I awoke, I was still sitting in the same place I originally lost consciousness in, so at least he didn't move my body.
Still, I can't allow another slip-up like this. I must stay vigilant.
February 15 (?), 1983, Time unknown
I fell asleep again. This time I must've been out for hours, since it was nighttime when I woke up and I'm pretty sure I fell asleep early in the morning. (Then again, telling the time in this place is kind of hard, since the sky always has a certain darkness.)
I feel way better now than before, at least physically, though I'm still almost constantly drowsy. I'm also pretty worried about Bill, but he doesn't seem to have used my slip-up to possess me. At least I can't find any new injuries and I've checked my body thoroughly, just to be sure.
???
I fell asleep three more times since my last entry and nothing has happened so far. Is Bill just waiting, biding his time for now? Is he trying to psychologically torment me? Or did he give up? (No. I shouldn't get my hopes up. Not with him.)
???
A new injury! I knew he would strike again. It was only a matter of time. I just awoke and found my hands covered in these strange blisters. (By the way, writing notes with blisters on your hand is highly painful. I hope these go away soon.)
What is Bill planning this time?
???
False alarm.
I found the real reason for these blisters. It was that strange, alien critter that I hunted and prepared for a meal the other day.
I was trying to catch the next one today, when that one suddenly decided to attack my face in self-defense. I got it off of me, before it could do any major damage, but all the parts of my face it touched are now starting to blister as well. (Note to self: Look for another food source.)
I'm surprised I didn't accidentally poison myself by eating these creatures, but I guess whatever poison they have gets neutralized through the cooking process.
At least I hope. I should probably check my body very closely these next few days.
???
Two weeks are over now and still no sign of Bill. What is he waiting for? I'm really starting to get worried.
???
Still nothing. Did he get bored and give up?
Or does he have no means to take over my body while I'm in this dimension?
???
Another week has passed. I'm legitimately starting to think that he has no means of controlling me right now. At least I hope.
I'm still gonna keep my guard up just in case.
???
Still nothing from him. I think I'm safe.
August 10, 2012, 10:02 PM
It's all so nostalgic right now, though not in a good way...
I didn't think I would ever write these notes again, considering I've now spent thirty years in the multiverse and Bill hasn't possessed my body even once during that time.
But I am back in my own dimension now and with that, the risk of possession has naturally returned. I still think that the dream demon simply couldn't take over my body while I was traveling the multiverse (why else would he leave me alone for so long?), but that same protection doesn't apply to my home dimension. As long as I'm here, I'm back in danger.
I need to take precautions to protect myself and my family. Obviously just drinking coffee en masse and staying awake for days on end aren't viable options in the long term. I still remember what all that coffee and sleep deprivation did to my mental state back then and if I want to defeat Bill once and for all, I need to stay in top shape.
Unfortunately I never found a surefire way to protect my mind from that demon, so I'll have to resort to other (drastic) methods instead. Maybe I can tell my brother about Bill and then ask him to tie me up/cuff me when I go to sleep and have him watch over me, to make sure? Or I'll let myself be locked in an empty room? These options don't sound appealing, but it'll be better than nothing.
August 11, 2012, 6:13 AM
Well, I just spend my first night back in my home dimension and I'm quite surprised: Bill didn't show up at all. He didn't appear in my mind, nor did he take over my body. This is highly unusual.
In the end I went with my first plan and had my brother watch over me, while I was sleeping handcuffed for a few hours. My arms are already protesting after that night.
I'm still quite upset with Stanley for what he did to my house and pushing me into the portal, but he is the best ally I have when it comes to watching out for that demon. Though so far nothing has happened. Maybe Stanley's presence was the reason that Bill didn't show up?
I might need to look into this further.
August 12, 2012, 6:47 AM
I repeated the same process as before - sleep while Stanley is keeping watch over me - and still there is no sign of Bill. So, is Stanley's presence really keeping him away? Is Bill simply biding his time? Or did he completely lose the ability to take over me, when I got sucked into that other dimension? It confuses me greatly.
I've decided to sleep alone tonight, to test if Stanley's presence really does make a difference. Of course I'm going to take some precautions. I'm not a fool. I'm going to ask my brother to barricade the windows and to lock my room from the outside, to prevent any escape. I'll also get rid of any objects in my room that Bill could use as a tool or a weapon. I told the children that this is all part of an experiment I'm conducting with Stanley, one where I have to quarantine myself in my room for the night. I'm not sure if they bought the lie, but I didn't feel like telling them my whole story with Bill yet.
Let's see if he shows up this time.
In other news, I've been spending the last day dismantling the portal and looking out for any damage and anomalies that might have been caused by my brother's reckless actions. To my horror, I did indeed find something: A tiny, interdimensional rift. I've contained it for now and safely stored it away, but the containment dome won't hold out forever. I need to think of a more permanent solution. Just what has my knucklehead brother been thinking, activating that machine?
August 13, 2012, 8:38 AM
Again I spent the last day further dismantling the portal. Thankfully, from the looks of it, nothing else seems to be out of the ordinary, aside from that rift. As long as I can keep that rift safe and Bill Cipher out of my mind, we should all be safe.
Speaking of Cipher, he once again didn't appear. I was pretty sure that he would've shown up by now and try to break out of my locked room, to mess with the rift, but... nothing. He didn't even show up in my mindscape to threaten me or gloat at me, like he did in the past.
Is he just playing tricks on me or did he legitimately lose his ability to possess my body? I'm still unable to answer that question. I might be able to answer it by sleeping alone, with no safeguards around me and watch what Bill does then... but that would be completely moronic and suicidal, so I guess I'll just have to accept the fact that I'll never get a straight answer...
August 14, 2012, 7:45 AM
Still no sign from him. Again I slept alone in my room, while having it locked and barricaded from the outside. As long as I keep spending my nights like this, we should all be safe. I just hope that Stanley doesn't slip up at some point and accidentally forgets to lock my door - or forgets to unlock it the next morning and keeps me trapped in. To be quite honest, I wouldn't put it past him.
August 15, 2012, 6:28 PM
I've decided to let Dipper in on the secret regarding the rift. The boy has certainly shown today that he can handle himself, after that battle against Probabilitor. I'm still debating on whether to tell him (and Mabel) about Bill Cipher. I wouldn't want to drag the children into my own mess and let them know about my past failures and naiveté and it's quite possible that we won't even have to worry about Cipher anymore, once I deal with the rift. After all, Bill still hasn't been able to do anything at all.
I'm gonna hold out on telling them, for now.
August 16, 2012, 1:05 PM
Just two days after writing about the possibility, Stanley did forget to let me out of my room. Apparently he decided to take a nap himself and slept for hours on his couch, while I was stuck in my room with no tools or weapons to blast the door open (since I made absolutely sure there would be nothing in here for Bill to make an escape). I'm not even really surprised.
Thankfully Dipper noticed my situation and woke my knucklehead brother up, so he could finally let me out. I think I'm gonna let Dipper be in charge of the key from now on. He seems to be more responsible than Stanley at least. I also think I'm going to get one of these “smart phones” the kids had been talking about, just in case something like this happens again.
Still no sign of Bill.
August 17, 2012, 11:08 AM
Another peaceful night. I can't let my guard down just yet, but everything is looking good so far. Right now I'm in the process of designing a special safe to keep the rift locked in. It won't prevent the containment dome from naturally breaking down over time and unleashing the rift, but it will prevent Bill from getting to it, so long as I keep the keys away from him. Yes, keys. I intent to fit this safe with two keyholes, on top of the regular locking mechanism. Can't be too safe with this.
August 18, 2012, 9:09 AM
The safe is almost done. I just need to think of a good hiding place for the keys. I'm planning on giving one of them to Dipper. I know he is surprisingly intelligent and mature for his age. Just like I was at his age. He will keep that key safe.
As for the other one, I'll either keep it on me (I don't really trust Stanley or Mabel with this enormous responsibility) or hide it somewhere in this house. I still haven't decided yet.
August 18, 2012, 4:46 PM
It's done. The rift is safely locked away (for now). I just gave Dipper the second key to the safe and told him of the importance of never losing it. I have faith that he can handle that task. After all, he has been doing pretty well with that other key to my room.
Speaking of which, everything has been going smoothly in that regard. Unlike Stanley, Dipper didn't slip up once with the key and Bill never once appeared. I'm starting to think we're safe...
Now I only need to find a way to permanently seal the rift.
August 19, 2012, 9:55 AM
I just checked up on the rift and it's still looking stable. I have a few different ideas now on how to seal it. Everything will be fine soon.
Once my family is done with their campaigning, I'll probably speak to Dipper about my plans and ask him if he would like to accompany me. It would be nice to have someone with me.
I was tricked!! Bill That bastard had still control over my body! Why was I so careless? Why?!
It happened. I doomed everythi Weirdmageddon started. Bill is taking the world over with his chaos right as I'm writing this and it's all my fault. I should never have existed returned made the deal! I should never have let Dipper in on the existence of the rift! I should never have let him be in charge of the keys! I should've warned him of Bill! What was I thinking?! If I hadn't done that, then he
I apologize. Not that my apology would fix anyth I had to take a pause there. My hand was shaking too much. I still need to get my thoughts in order. My great-nephew is dead had unfortunately been attacked by ME!! Bill while he was possessing me. Apparently the monster dream demon monster had been looking for the rift and Dipper had been down in the lab at the time. That's the only thing I can deduce from the evidence. Why was I down here? he down here? Why was I not locked in my room!?! My best guess is that the boy had forgotten to lock my door and had later been noticing something strange about me and followed me Bill down here to confront him. But that's only a guess. I can't tell if it's true. I wish I could.
I'm sorry, Stanley! I'm sorry, Mabel! I'm sorry, Dipper! I failed all of you.
I have to stop kill Bill. I'm the only one who can stop the apocalypse now and avenge Dipper avenge Dipper. I only have one shot left for my Quantum Destabilizer. I can not allow any mistakes. If I miss that shot I might as well throw myself off a cliff.
If I don't survive, then I hope someone else can stop the demon for me. Dipper.
If you're reading this Stanley, or Mabel, and I am indeed dead then you should know that I