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“Sarah, I’m asking you, please let’s just go to the hospital.”
Sarah grimaced as another contraction flooded through her body. She rubbed her belly gently and kept her breathing steady and controlled.
“No, Bucky. We’ve already discussed this. I want to have our daughter here at home.”
Bucky let out an exasperated sigh. Yes, they had discussed it. Back when they first found out they were pregnant and Sarah had brought up the idea of a home delivery; Bucky just half-heartedly agreed. He had nine months to talk her out of it. But that proved to be a lot harder said than done. He had brought up all the reasons to not have their baby at home. What if they lose the heartbeat? What if the baby gets stuck? What if something happens to Sarah? What if the worst thing that could happen does happen?
Bucky had been firing these sorts of questions at Sarah for the past few weeks, as her impending due date drew nearer. Trying his hardest to get her to change her mind.
“Everything will be fine, James.” Was all she ever really answered with.
Now here they were. Bucky holding on to Sarah as she swayed from side to side, willing her body to stay relaxed through each contraction.
“I just want you and the baby to be okay.” He whispered as he kissed her forehead.
Sarah finally gave a small smile as her contraction subsided. “We will be. I’ve done this twice before you know. My body knows what to do.”
Bucky knew she was right but the what ifs had been haunting him for weeks. Around 1 a.m. it had all become real. She had woken him up, her voice breaking slightly.
“Bucky, my…my water broke.”
He looked at the clock in the kitchen, where they had both been doing ‘the labor waltz’ as the mid wife had put it.
It read 8:27.
She had been laboring for 7 hours already and he could tell things were starting to really pick up.
“Oooohhhh God….” Sarah’s shift in volume startled him. She tried to stay moving but he could tell this contraction was a big one.
“Just remember to breathe through it, Love.”
Bucky glanced over at the mid wife that Sarah had been seeing routinely since the beginning of her pregnancy. Her name was Georgette. She was a round, robust woman with big, blonde hair that Bucky swore never moved. Her New Orleans accent was as thick as they come, ending each sentence with a form of endearment that seemed only she could pull off. She had rings on every finger and only seemed to wear pink.
“Are you sure she knows what she’s doing?" Bucky whispered in Sarah’s ear.
“Bucky, stop.” She stated with a small slap to his right arm.
Bucky sucked his teeth before scrunching his nose in annoyance.
“If you’re not going to say anything nice then you can go outside with Sam and the boys.” Sarah whispered back. Sam had offered to keep the boys occupied outside while Bucky stayed with Sarah, not knowing how long her labor would take.
Bucky shook his head. “Absolutely not.”
“Then. Be. Nice.” Sarah said as she broke away from Bucky. She walked over to the kitchen sink and pushed against it with her hands, arms extended and her head lowered, another contraction hitting her.
“We’re getting into the big ones now, Honey.” Georgette stated with a smile.
“They’re definitely getting closer together.” Sarah barely managed to get out.
“Are they getting longer too, Hun?” Georgette asked while getting up to listen to baby’s heartbeat.
“Mmm hmm.” Was all she was able to answer with.
“All right now baby, let’s take a listen.”
Georgette placed the diaphragm of her stethoscope up underneath the hem of Sarah’s sundress. Bucky walked quietly up to Sarah and gave her a soft kiss on her temple, a silent gesture of support lined with an apology.
“There it is. Nice and strong.”
Bucky let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. His daughter’s heartbeat had been strong the first day they heard it at Sarah’s eight-week appointment. Her heart was strong. Her movements were strong. She always measured ahead of where she was gestational.
“She’s just like her Daddy.” Sarah had teased at him at her last appointment. They didn’t know what traits their baby would inherit from him. Bucky was unsure if he wanted his daughter to even have his abilities. He wanted her to be strong but at what price would she pay if she was stronger and faster than everyone else.
“Ahhhhh", Sarah yelled as another contraction hit. This one nearly caused her to drop to her knees. Bucky effortlessly caught her and gently spun her around to do some more ‘waltzing’.
“Oh God this one fucking hurts!” Sarah yelled through gritted teeth. Bucky was caught off guard by Sarah’s choice of language. She rarely, if ever, cursed.
“Relax, Sweetie. You gotta breath and stay relaxed through the contraction. Just think of that beautiful baby girl making her way down with each one.” Georgette said reassuringly.
Sarah closed her eyes and took a big inhale through her nose and out her mouth. She continued the process until the contraction had subsided.
Sarah was having a harder time keeping her composure with each contraction now. She was starting to sweat and never stopped moving. A few tears had even escaped her tired eyes. She tried to hide her face when they fell, hoping Bucky wouldn’t see. But he did.
His heart felt like it was being ripped from his chest. Seeing her in this much pain made him wish he could switch places with her. He would go through HYDRAs torture and abuse a thousand times over if it meant she wouldn’t be feeling what she feels now.
“I need to get in the bath.” Sarah said, her voice cracking slightly.
Bucky knew that was the cue that things were about to get real and intense.
A half hour later Sarah was kneeling forward in the bathtub, clad in only a gray bralette and her braids pulled back into a bun. She had her eyes closed and her face had a permanent pained expression.
Bucky kneeled down beside the tub, gently rubbing her back. He could tell she was already so exhausted. The contractions were relentless, barely giving her a break in between before the next one would hit.
“I’m gonna check ya, Sweetie.” Georgette said as she knelt down beside Bucky. Sarah stiffened as Georgette checked her dilation.
“Oh, you’re there Mama!” she beamed as she withdrew her hand from the water and stood back up.
Bucky’s heart skipped a beat. “Wha…what does that mean?”
“Honey, it means in the next few minutes you’ll be delivering your baby girl!” Georgette beamed at him. “Do you want me to go get your boys and Sam?”
Sarah could only nod.
Georgette quickly retreated from the bathroom to inform the rest of the family of the baby’s impending arrival.
Taking advantage of the tiny moment alone, Bucky put his vibranium arm around Sarah’s back and kissed her temple.
“I love you so much, Sarah.”
Sarah leaned her forehead into the crook of his neck. “I love you too, James.”
Another contraction ripped through her as she cried out, burying her face in her arm that was cradled on the edge of the bathtub.
“I’m so proud of you,” Bucky said close to Sarah’s ear. “You doing this…. going through this…. it’s so much greater than any superhuman feat I’ve ever done.”
Sarah mustered a tiny laugh at his statement. She rolled her head on her arm to the side to look at him. “It was seeing you effortlessly carrying my children on your back that got me into this mess in the first place.”
Bucky shared in her laughter at the memory.
“I’ll know better next time than to display my incredible strength so irresponsibly, knowing the consequences.”
“Don’t you dare.” Sarah said with a sly grin.
“Is the baby here?!” Cass asked as he came into view in the doorway.
“Not yet buddy.” Bucky said with a smile.
AJ and Sam followed closely behind.
“You okay, Sis?” Sam asked, concern plastered all over his face.
“No, Sam, I’m about to give birth to a baby and it hurts like hell.”
“Mama! You swore.” Cass exclaimed in shock.
“Sorry, baby.” Sarah retorted as her body tensed again causing her to cry out.
“James?” Sarah said with a look of worry on her face, “I feel like I need to bear down.”
Panic settled into his gut. She had told him that when she felt she had to push that the baby was coming.
“Oh. Oh. Okay.” Bucky didn’t know what to do or say. He was stuck.
“That’s your cue, Handsome.” Georgette smiled as she ushered Bucky to scoot further down the end of the tub. “You gotta be ready to catch that gorgeous baby!”
Sarah was rocking up and down on her knees as Bucky and Georgette got into their respectable positions. Georgette grabbed Sarah’s upper arms as she ran through the steps of what was to come next. Bucky’s head was swimming as he looked from Sarah to Sam and the boys. They could only look on in silence, their faces frozen with uncertainty as Sam held both boys in his arms.
“Go ahead and push the next time you have a contraction.” Georgette said as she took a washcloth and wiped Sarah’s forehead.
No sooner had she said that Sarah cried out as she then gripped the edge of the tub and bore down.
Georgette counted to 10 as Sarah let out a long breath. Once she inhaled again she blew out for another count of 10.
“Okay, relax Love.” Georgette instructed.
Sarah hung her head for a few moments before the next contraction hit. Bucky mentally counted out the breath as Georgette counted aloud.
Sarah went through 3 more tough contractions before Georgette ordered him to feel for the head. Bucky reached under Sarah and immediately felt a soft, round tuft of hair.
His eyes lit up and pure excitement swept through him. “I can feel her head!”
“Okay Mama, you gotta do one more big push.” Georgette said with a big smile.
Sarah gripped the tub tight as she yelled out, pushing as hard and as long as she could muster. Bucky had his hands at the ready. He was about to relax his hands, her contraction almost over, when he felt and saw his daughter slip into his hands.
“She’s out!” Bucky cried out as his voice shook with emotion.
Sarah’s body slumped in relief at finally birthing their daughter after 10 hours, a small cry escaping her dry lips.
Bucky pulled their daughter up in front of Sarah, placing the small, fragile human in her arms. She had dark hair and caramel colored skin; her eyes were a beautiful almond shape just like her mother’s. She was the most beautiful thing Bucky had ever seen.
Bucky tasted salt on his lips, not realizing he was crying while he smiled at the joyous moment. He looked at Sarah holding their baby. Her face suddenly alert and smiling from ear to ear. There were no words to describe how Bucky felt in that moment. Never would he have guessed that he would have ever gotten to this point in his life. To have a home. To have a family. To have such an amazing woman by his side that doesn’t care about his baggage and tormented past. That loves him enough to bring something so pure and innocent into the world that is also part of him.
“Congratulations, Buck.”
Bucky sniffled as he turned to look up at Sam. He had a smile on his face that exuded pride and happiness. Both boys were smiling as well, clearly welcoming the idea of having a new baby sister.
“I’m a big brother now too!” Cass said as he ran a hand backwards through the taller boy’s hair.
“You won’t be able to hack it!” AJ countered as he lightly shoved Cass.
“Boys, come on, let’s go downstairs. Let’s let your Mom and Bucky get situated with your sister.” Sam said as he gently corralled the bickering boys down the stairs.
Bucky chuckled as he looked back to Sarah. He gave her a gentle kiss. “You did amazing.”
Bucky rocked his daughter in his arms as Georgette finished up with Sarah in the bathroom. She had already nursed like a pro and Bucky was already smitten with the sleeping infant.
“I’m going to promise you,” Bucky whispered to her as he kissed the top of her soft head. “That I will be the best Dad to ever walk this Earth.”
He stared at her, soaking in her newness before continuing.
“I’ve done things that won’t make you proud of me. Done things that you might hate me for when you’re grown. But none of that matters. I’m the luckiest man alive right now. And nothing can take that away.”