Chapter Text
Awkward vibes.
Those are the two words that best describe this gathering.
I'm one of the six surrounding the dining table. And, out of the six, four of us make up the soon-to-be Bridal party.
Before you ask it, the answer is no. I'm not the one getting married; my older brother is.
Both Yamato and his fiancée are the ones behind tonight's dinner.
Yamato claims that it's for my 'Welcome Back to Japan' party, but I already called bullshit on him. Ever since I had seen the photo of him finally proposing to my future sister-in-law on my IG feed, and seeing the guests around their dining table - I knew this was anything but a welcome home party for me.
While I'm slam dunk in between Yamato and his fiancée, across the table is another couple.
Taichi's a childhood friend, and my brother's best friend. Taichi's practically the most approachable to person I now. He's got this natural aura that makes people comfortable around him. When I was younger, there were times I'd even wished that he was my brother instead. Although it's been years since I've last seen him, he's still the same as ever. Not as energetic, but still good fun and always willing to lend a hand whenever I'd throw impudent remarks at Yamato. Though, I have to say, Taichi's not exactly the most talkative person tonight. It's because he's been scrutinising the television behind me, constantly zoning out as he watches the live soccer broadcast.
Next to him is his wife, Mimi. She befriended my brother and Taichi through Sora. Taichi started dating her a handful of years after I left for France. Even though I don't know much about her, I feel like I do. Whenever I'd get bouts of homesickness, I'd investigate and stalk my old Japanese friends. She'd frequently pop up on my friends' social media. She's one of those people who is friends with everybody. I can see why she's a good fit with Tai. If you ask me, he's scored it with her.
From the minor interactions I've had with her, she's proved to be amazing. Mimi is bubbly, a natural entertainer, and bakes cakes in her spare time. How can anybody not like that? Oh, and she's quite the looker too...if she was single, I easily would have shot my shot. Long wavy brown hair, big caramel eyes and dimples digging on both sides of her cheek - what's there not to like?
I've lost count of the numerous times she's refilled my wine glass tonight. She's made this dinner bearable with her abundant source of topics - from how she enjoys painting Taichi's nails pink when he's sleeping, how she had admitted how much she hated my brother's guts for stealing Sora away from her, to how she once considered becoming a porn star (they get paid a lot, Takeru). She's an hilarious nutcase. I love her.
From Taichi and Mimi being here, it's obvious that this is anything but my 'welcome home' dinner. It's not that I have anything against Taichi and Mimi - it's just that they're more considered to be Yamato's friends than mine. Besides, if this dinner had been really about me, dad would have been invited too.
On Taichi's other side is Hikari Yagami. She's his sister and is the last person to make up this dinner party.
I don't know what else to say about her. She's contributed zero percent to tonight's conversation. Since arriving to Yamato's apartment, she's kept her head low, greeting everybody and giving a courtesy nod to my direction.
A nod. One single nod.
That's all I am to her now. And you know what? I don't blame her.
The only person she's made an effort to exchange comments with has been Sora. I couldn't exactly hear her voice because she'd intentionally speak quietly so nobody else could hear her. Rude. Other than that, she seems to be enjoying Yamato's roast and occasionally taking a sip of Shiraz. She's concentrating, using her knife to cut the roast into fine, biteable pieces and pretending the rest of us don't exist.
She effortlessly does this whole 'ignoring thing' well.
I mean, I've always been a sucker for uptight women who don't give me the time of day. I like the chase. The intrigue gets me, and these women generally are freaky in sheets. It's the mystery and unattainability that never fails to excite me - that or I'm a masochist bitch. Who knows?
"When will it be?" Taichi asks.
He's finally shifting his gaze from the television, darting his eyes at both Yamato and Sora respectively.
Sora sighs. "Can't you at least be excited for us?"
"Why?" Taichi chuckles. "You're practically the parents in our friendship group. You've dated each other longer than Mimi and I have, and we got married five years ago. Are you certain that you haven't passed your expiration date?"
Yamato rolls his eyes as Mimi simultaneously swats Taichi on the back of his head.
"He does have a point," I share my input.
Sister-in-law hisses, "You're not helping, Takeru."
"I think it's romantic," Mimi gushes. "Sora, I can't wait to plan your wedding! It's been a dream of mine. I've been looking forward to this day since-"
Although it's self-explanatory, Yamato and Sora brief us that the wedding will be in four months, where the venue is, who the Best Man and Maid of Honour is (Taichi and Mimi), the save-the-dates for dress measurements, rehearsals...and just a lot of random dates that I fail to retain. I know I'll have to ask Yamato again sometime after dinner. My memory on a weeknight is absolute shit. When business hours end, it's like my whole body clocks off too.
Throughout the rundown I haven't missed Yamato's not-so-subtle glances.
Although we're grown adults, Yamato always tends to be concerned about every little thing related to me. His overprotectiveness had, instead, intensified over the years post our parent's divorce. One, because we got separated and lived with a different parent. Two, I moved to another country. Three, he still sees me as a kid. Since I've been, mostly, absent from his clutches - he plays the overprotective role whenever he can because he hasn't been supplied the adequate amount of time to.
After the important things are discussed, Hikari tells us she's got to go. Something about work tomorrow. Funny how she only talks to all us when she needs to duck out. She bids goodbye to everybody and leaves.
As soon as she's gone, Taichi looks at me. "I thought you guys still keep in touch, Takeru?"
"Does it look like your sister and I keep in touch?" I bitterly laugh.
Hikari may have been the standoffish one all evening, but it's evident she's acting peculiarly around the others because of me.
Yamato frowns. "But Sora and I thought to pair you up because you were best friends. I thought it would be fine. Did you have a fight?"
Why can't everybody just chill? Why does the past have to suddenly unravel in the present in front of everyone? This interrogation should have been executed a long time ago. However, it's not like they had the chance to ask me - and it's not like they would have known. I was on the other side of the world, and Hikari's always been a somewhat private person.
"Did something happen between you guys?" Sora rephrases.
"Nothing but a fall out. Times does that, right?"
It's not like I'm lying about it either. We did have a fall out.
If Hikari doesn't want to speak to me, so be it. I'll get her to talk to me eventually - I can be awfully irritating when need be. Catherine reminds me of this trait of mine all the time. Just because Hikari's the source to the awkward vibes doesn't mean we're not going to make it difficult for my brother and Sora's wedding preparations.
"We'll be good," I reassure, grinning widely. "You're both people we care about. Hikari and I will deal. I can be civil, ya know? Take for example, this dinner. Not a drop of blood was spilt."
Mimi deadpans, "Maybe because you didn't speak to each other?"
"And not a drop of blood was spilt," I repeat.
Taichi laughs at this. My brother, on the other hand, is not laughing. His worried glances have multiplied. Yups, he's not amused at all.
After I devour the freshly baked apple crumble, I excuse myself too. I feed them an excuse about not wanting to leave my mother alone for dinner. To be honest, I didn't want to be stuck with the couples any longer. Being a fifth wheel isn't ideal for anybody. And although they're a great bunch, as the night progresses I can tell that the years of not being around Yamato and his friends makes me feel like the odd one out.
I give everybody a hug before I go. I'm still shrugging on my coat when I close the door behind me. I'm greeted to the addicting smell of tobacco. A spiral of smoke floats into the dead air. My gaze trails after where it's coming from.
Hikari leans against the front fence, taking an indulgent drag.
For the first time tonight, I allow myself to stare at her.
I've never pictured this scene to turn out like this.
If you had asked me two months back that I'd be in Japan, reuniting with family and old friends - I would have laughed at your face. Life takes you by surprise sometimes.
Yet, here I am, looking at my former best friend.
Hikari angles her head, staring straight back at me as we inspect each other. Her short hair falls well below her shoulders now. She's wearing a cream, frilly blouse that's neatly tucked under a grey pencil work skirt. Figure-fitting, and showing curves that I have never seen on her. She's still petite. Puberty hadn't helped her in the height department, but her high heels have.
"I only do this when I'm stressed." Her lips thin out, tossing the cigarette onto the ground, and stubbing it with her heel. "Please don't tell Tai. I'll never hear the end of it."
"So she speaks?" I remark, lips quirking upwards.
She folds her arms. "You may be my partner for the wedding, but that doesn't mean we're still on good terms."
There she is. This is the Hikari I'm more familiar with. It's good to know that she hasn't lost her spite and fierceness whenever she's riled up.
Although I had never predicted that I'd return to Japan, that doesn't mean I had never envisioned our reunion and how it would play out. For some reason, I'm relieved she's directing her anger at me. Throughout dinner Hikari had been pulling a façade, keeping it cool but I knew she was fuming inside.
When we were children, people perceived Hikari to be this innocent, unperturbed, modest girl - but around a select close few, she was anything but. She chooses who she'd speak her mind to, and sometimes she can be just about outspoken as Taichi.
"Can we build a bridge and get over this?" I say, completely aware that I'm pouring fuel into my own hell. "Isn't this confrontation a bit too delayed for our liking?"
"Do you blame me, Takeru? Of course I'm salty about this! Our friendship fucked over because you couldn't make the darn effort to make it work!" Hikari exclaims. Now that she was speaking truths, she had a whole dam to release on me.
"I know." I don't deny her accusations. "Yeah, it was a dick move from my end."
"You invented 'ghosted' before it was even a word!"
"Well, we weren't technically seeing each other."
"That's besides the point!" She snaps at me. "You promised you'd keep in contact."
She's not lying there.
I place my hands into the pockets of my jacket, scrunching my fingers into fists. If I were in her shoes, I'd be mad at me too. I deserve this. I had wanted to contact her, but I really had no choice. The racked up guilt I had towards Hikari has always stayed with me, but if I were to go back in time and do it again - I would. I'm awful like that.
"Things...things got difficult." I give her a small smile, my shoulders suddenly feeling heavier.
From the look on her face, I know that she wants me to elaborate. I choose not to. A glimpse of fury shines in her eyes from my untelling response.
And it's then that strong, blinding headlights pour over us.
I squint through the brightness and see a black sports car sliding parallel to where we are.
The window rolls down. "Kari-chan?"
I can't make out who the person is because I'm still recovering from the bright lights. The voice belongs to a guy with a voice I don't recognise. It's neither her father, Taichi or Daisuke. It could be her boyfriend?
Looking back at Hikari, I see that she's straightening up. She bends her knees slightly to pick up her purse from the ground, and as she rounds up to the vehicle I notice a small bounce in her stride. She cranes her neck at me. "My lift's here."
I lift up a hand, waving.
This won't be the last time I see her. I can't fix something like this overnight, and I really don't know if Hikari wants things to be smoothened out between us. But as I promised to my brother and sister-in-law, I'd ensure that we'd be civil for their wedding.
As Hikari hops into the car, my eyes adjust to the brightness. Her lips are grazing against the driver's cheek in greeting. Yeah, they're definitely dating.
I give her another wave, watching the car zoom off.
Instead of taking the route to the train station, I turn right and head for the closest bar. After encountering Hikari, I definitely need a drink.
I'm an asshole for not holding onto my promise.
But that's who I am.