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Published:
2015-01-06
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and you decided purple just wasn't for you

Summary:

And if Jaune was red, Cardin had to be blue.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Jaune was red. It was strange for him to think of the scrawny blond with such a powerful color, but it was nothing short of the truth. Jaune was clumsy and he was dorky and he wore his heart on his sleeve, but he was brave. He was raw courage and strength, he was as red as the roses that fell from Ruby's scythe, as red as the leaves that fell from the trees of Forever Fall, as red as the blood that rained from that Ursa that day. He was blind power and risk, guts and glory all rolled up into one, and it was a damn near shame that he didn't know himself, that he didn't think himself as the strength he had, that he didn't know how capable he was in the first place. Jaune was meek and he was modest, he was awkward and as transparent emotionally as you could get, but he was ambitious and he was passionate; hell, Cardin had never heard of anyone faking transcripts to get into a school like Beacon before. And it was a shame that he never saw it, never acknowledged it, never showed it, other than a few passing moments where he could had died as easily as he survived. 

And if Jaune was red, Cardin had to be blue.

Cardin was all talk, brazen and loud, wanting to shout to the world about how capable and strong he was, how he made it into Beacon just to prove his worth to a father who'd rather focus on his two older brothers, how he'd take what was owed to him no matter what. He was a mess of an over inflated ego and trying to prove something to anyone who'd notice. He wanted to think he was red - power and strength, courage and passion - but when the lights dimmed, and his weapon fell, and the kid he had tormented since the first day of school for being weak, for being out of place in a school full of warriors, was helping him up off a blood stained ground with the bruises he had left on his cheeks, he felt his true color run through his veins. He was blue, the youngest of three, overlooked by their father and struggling to prove it to him that he was just as good as his elder brothers. He was blue, a confused and conflicted teen who would do anything for approval, even if that meant pushing around and blackmailing someone who'd rather need help. He was blue, someone who was just lost in the waves of expectations and pillars to climb up to, who put on such a big, strong front that screamed "I can do this", but inside was as cowardly and scared as they came. Cardin Winchester was as cold and sad as the color he felt within him.

But, like a fireworks display from the festivals from when he was a child, when Jaune touched him, he was a purple masterpiece. He was lilac and violet swirls against waves of mauve and amethyst. He was royal and bright, no longer plagued by the thoughts of his father, or his brothers, or of the school he had tried so damn hard to get into. He was no longer full of fear for the future, no longer full of resentful toward the past. He was just... Cardin. Cardin, who got into Beacon on his own self will, Cardin, whose teammates abandoned him when he needed them the most, Cardin, who was saved by the one person in the world he'd never expect to. He became simply him, and nothing more.

He could learn to care deeply for Jaune; he could come to those feelings he's never really felt for anyone, he could come to love him. Jaune saved his life, did what his teammates did not, maybe even would not. He could learn to love him, he really could; Jaune's red and his blue, their purple together would be perfect. Maybe he was already learning how to love him, maybe his heart was already skipped beats, and his stomach was already butterflies. Maybe he was already feeling regret for all he had done to the blond, maybe he was already thinking of ways to make it up to him, ways to prove to him that he was sincerely sorry for all he did, trying to teach himself how to apologize, something he's never, truly done before.

Cardin could get used to the purple, could learn to love it in place of the blue.

Jaune, however, seemed content with his red.

As quickly as he exploded into a skyful of lilacs and lavenders, he came back to cerulean and cyan, and the deep red of Jaune left with his hopes of purple. With all the wishing Cardin had to get used to purple, Jaune decided it wasn't for him, that he was comfortable with his deep blood reds, comfortable with his strength and courage, where Cardin needed anything but the fear and insecurities he had. But for all the wishing he had, he couldn't make Jaune stay, couldn't force him to stay with him so they could be lilac skies forever, and wasn't going to. Jaune's choice was his own, but even so, it left a gaping hole in Cardin's chest.

Jaune touched him and Cardin was a sky of lilac, but purple just wasn't for him.

Notes:

i am a sad now wow. im so sorry but i needed this as much as i didn't

 

based on this poem from tumblr

 

sad noises of sadness

 

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