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The garden was particularly lovely during the lingering hours of morning, just before the stroke of twelve. The way the light was directed between the greenery and the bright colored flowers of Mister Epstein’s personal garden, brought out all his favorite features. Shadows cast in all the right places, in an atmosphere heavy with the aroma of honeysuckles. It was a perfect moment for a refreshing cold drink on his back covered deck.
Little birds delicately graced the quiet man with their presence, skipping from the thinnest of branches on the tree just over head. Red squirrels climbed up and down the large oaks circling the area, while a handful of butterflies delicately balanced themselves on the peddles of his Irish roses. In the far corner at the edge of the man’s sight, was a young buck with antlers crowning his head. The majestic creature stood still amongst the brushes. Just a beautiful sight to behold! It was one of those moments that reminds you to be grateful for being alive.
Then suddenly Mister Epstein was interrupted from his quiet pleasures by an elderly female servant, who brought forth an expected guest. The woman took her leave and his guest approached the host from behind, taking the empty chair beside him. Brian instantly smiled as George Harrison looking as happy and as healthy as ever, gazed into his face full of joy. It was hard to believe that less than three weeks ago this man nearly starved himself due to a mental burden. The man’s once pale skin was full of color from his recent holiday, with sunk features were now robust in correct proportion. He actually looked better than he did before he became ill.
“George, you look better every time I see you!” Brian greeted with a genuine smile.
“Thank you.” George replied returning the smile with his own. “I owe it all to all of you. Even John!”
“Really?” Asked the older man. “Why do you say that?” John had essentially cause the very conflict in which this young man needed to recover.
“Well I should first say,” the youth began, accepting a cold drink, “his stunt really brought you all to my aide and it showed me how much I’m loved.” George actually found himself a bit watery eyed with such a confession. This did not go unnoticed by his gentleman host who gracefully touch the man beside him shoulder, gently.
“Of course we love you.” The manager assured. “You’re a sweet and sensitive man George. There are many qualities about you to love.” Instinctively the fatherly man adjusted the youths collar that was ever so slightly out of place.
“Yes I love you all too!” the Beatle admitted. “This experience just gave me the opportunity to see how much you are willing to come together for me, and I’m grateful.” Then the younger man gently took the older mans hand into his own. “I’m also grateful that this experience as opened me up to new pleasures I was too intimidated to try.”
This was a bold and powerful stance coming from George. Out of the four young men in his care, he seems as of late to be taking to his new sexual lifestyle the best.
“You’re no longer ashamed about your curiosities with men?” the homosexual inquired.
“No, I’m not!” Harrison said with a smile. “I won’t announce it to the world, but I can tell you without the terrible humiliation I used to feel, I enjoy sex with a select few men I’m very close to.”
“Now when you speak of men, are you implying you have done more since John?” the elder observed. Despite the strong stance, the youngest Beatle winced a little at the question.
“I hesitate because he is strongly oppose of his identity being disclosed.” The musician replied. “However due to the limited options it could be, it’s not hard to figure out who he is.”
“So you and Paul became “close” during your little beach holiday?” the manager treaded lightly. George gave a light nod to his managers observation. “and you liked it?”
“I can’t deny it, I did.” The lead guitarists agreed, far more relaxed than before. The difference was night and day.
“How do you feel about yourself having these attractions?” The experience elder pressed.
“I used to be terrified of the thought.” The youth recalled painfully. He wasn’t exaggerating, he nearly starved himself to death. “All the stuff they teach you in church and what everyone says about it, really messed with me head. Yet I realized the more I fought it the more unhappy I was.” George paused as he began to feel emotional. Brian squeezed his hand, he knew that pain all too well. Wiping a tear away the younger man continued. “I can’t contributed to one particular breakthrough, but many over this journey. I realized this was good for me. It made me happy. It's not happy like a drug which is bad for you, it gives you happiness like eating something nutritious. Engaging in these activities makes me a better person. It’s definitely less of a menace than the prejudice against it.” Brian was rather blown away by the progress this young man had made. Not long ago, this beautiful, healthy lad, was weak and frail.
“That’s a very powerful statement.” The host replied. “I’m impressed in how far you have evolved.”
“It just seems so silly that’s it’s a taboo at all.” The Beatle continued. Why should it matter that with certain men I’m very close to, I enjoy some sexual activity? So far those men are really just the group of us. Even Ringo and I have started lightly kissing.”
“Really?” The young man nodded to his elders response. “When did this start?” Mister Epstein wanted to know.
“After you left Ringo’s house and we went to bed.” Harrison explained the night he was rescued from his own madness. “It’s just closed mouth kisses.”
“Still that’s a big step for men like Rich.” Brian pointed out "How did you manage that?”
“He kissed me first.” George confessed blushing. “We've talked about it and he is curious to explore more with me.” the image before him was so cute, Mister Epstein couldn’t help but smile.
“I’m happy for you my lad.” The experience queer exclaimed. “Please know both you and Richie are welcome to come to me if you need any counsel on such matters.”
“Thank you Bri. I feel happy.” The musician agreed, sitting back, taking in all he just said. “I again owe it to you for the counsel. I owe it to Rich for coming to my aide. I owe John for bringing me on this journey. I owe Paul..” Harrison trailed off for a second because he wanted to be careful in how he worded his sentence.
“How did you and Paul’s relationship become sexual?” the wiser of the pair finished for him. For the first time during his visit, George put his head down, more for his understanding for Paul’s desire of anonymity. It felt like a betrayal of trust, but he knew in the end Brian was going to use this information to help his bandmate overcome his struggles of acceptance. Just like the kind man did for him! Taking a deep breath and fully committing to his decision, the lead guitarists continued.
“Well it began late on our third night on holiday.” The youngest Beatle began his tale of sexual exploration. “I was having a nightmare and Paul got me out if it.” He recalled not only being rescued but the early signs of the madness Paul was displaying that night. He was hurt by John. Not just because Lennon attacked George, but neglected McCartney’s need to be walked through the emotions this queer sex brought. Most notably the bass player was scared to talk to their queer manager for counsel. That was the most obvious sign something’s wrong. “I’m grateful for him. He stood up with me after the ordeal to make sure I was alright.” The pain of his last night on holiday was still fresh and unhealed. George rejected one of Paul’s blowjobs, after sucking him off and swallowing for the first time since his incident with John. “then I went to take a shower to wash the sweat off” the next part of the tail was a tad embarrassing. “and I wanted to, well you know… rub one out right quick. I hadn’t been able to since the night I blew John.”
“This was before John jumped out of the shower while you were naked?” the manager asked respectful of the nature of the sensitivity of the subject.
“Yes, that happened the following morning.” George explained about the incident that led to his breakdown and then the initial recovery. “When I was done with John and brushed me teeth, I went to bed with the urge to please meself.” The lad was shy as he went on.
“its alright.” His host soothed. “you can tell me anything.”
“Well…” Harrison gulped. “while I was doing it I couldn’t get off thinking of women.”
“that happens when we experience something new.” The older man assured kindly. George nodded to his point. It was still difficult to admit out loud.
“I became more excited thinking of John, then Rich, Paul and…” the lad paused for a second, as it was a tad bit embarrassing. “you.” He said in a small voice.
“No wonder you reacted so severely to my presence.” The counsel exclaimed. “this explains why you felt you couldn’t talk to anyone.” The older gentleman recalled seeing George when he was descending into madness. The now healthy body, was in an emaciated state, due to trauma which caused the poor lad to slowly kill himself!
“It became a constant issue.” Harrison continued his story about his past difficulties with masturbation. “I couldn’t get hard without thinking of you four and I wasn’t taking that well at the time. The irony is, you showed up to counsel me wearing the same suit I thought of you in.” This forced both men to likely chuckle.
“You poor thing!” Brian said both playfully but also sympathetically.
“It definitely made things interesting.” the musician lamented.
“So have you over come this issue?” the manager wanted to know.
“Yes!” The youth reported. Then he became somber. “Paul ended up in the shower with me.” The lad confessed in a small voice. He hated betraying his friend, but it was for McCartney’s own good. “I confided my issue in him and he helped me overcome my prejudice.” Aware of the loyalty the four men and his care had, Mister Epstein asked his next question gently.
“What did he do to help you?” the elder pressed.
“He made out with me and we rubbed up against one another until I popped, in the shower.” The embarrassed man told his counsel.
“How did that experience feel for you?” Brian asked, trying to draw the attention of Paul away from his client’s mind.
“At the time I was just glad to finely blow.” The lead guitarists admitted freely. “My peter was hurting. I now look back now, I think it’s hot how Paul swooped in and took control.” It was hot indeed!
“What did Paul say about his feelings on the experience?” the gentleman wanted to know. George frowned when asked this question.
“He kept acting like it was just to help me recover,” the lad replied with the heavy burden of betrayal on his shoulders. “but I know he enjoyed it. We made love every day and night since.” George began to compare the difference in Paul's behavior before and after they became physical. “When we first were at the hotel he would talk about his relationship with John.” Recalling McCartney’s long rants of disgruntled relations with the other lead singer. “John never gave him the talk, pushed him too fast with anal sex and didn’t fulfill his emotional needs. Then suddenly as he and I become more physical, I begin to feel better and Paul just got madder and madder at John. Though now it’s all about what John did to me and he acts like at times the two never slept together.”
“Its not your fault.” Mister Epstein assured. “Paul is internalizing your suffering to disguise his own.”
“Honestly he’s becoming as paranoid as I was before you helped me.” The young man’s eyes were wet when he said this. “I begged him to talk to you.” Harrison continued as if he were in a confessional booth. “He is also aware you and I would be talking about our holiday together, including the sexual details.”
“How did he react when you told him your intentions to inform me about your affair?” the manager pushed further for information.
“Not well at all.” The youth admitted heavily. “He spent the entire remainder of the trip begging and pleading with me to change my mind. He wanted me to a credit my experiences with him to a male escort.”
“It’s hard for some men to accept these feelings,” Brian soothed. “especially if they weren’t given the proper care after an experience.” The older man crossed his hand over the guitarists long delicate fingers. “you yourself went through a similar state.”
“I feel terrible for him.” George confessed with tears. “He is suffering and is so scared.” The host held the youth, letting him cry freely in his arms.
“Just like you when I came over Richie’s house.” Brian gently uttered while handing a fresh handkerchief to his guest.
“Thank you.” the young man said when receiving the cloth. He gratefully cleaned himself up with it. “Just help him Bri!” The singers voice pleaded “He’s scared to come to you. He’s afraid of you coming to him.”
“Because I symbolize an aspect of himself he's afraid to face.” The wise man acknowledged. “Don’t worry my lad. I will help Paul. I promise.” Brian looked up briefly and scanned his land. Suddenly the stag he had seen earlier darted across the grass and disappeared in the trees.
The two men enjoyed their conversation for a little while longer. The in-depth counsel between one another bloomed the relationship to new levels. As the sun progressed it’s rotation, so did the schedules of the gentlemen. As they went to take their leave from one another, they gave their final embrace. Both turned to give a kiss to the other on the cheek lightly, then their lips met at the center point. It was an accidental kiss, a light peck. Brian was immediately apologetic, but George chuckled at the little accident.
“You’re a good kisser Epi.” The younger of the two said smiling, then he took his leave.