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The night was cold, but not enough that Takeda’s regular green jacket couldn’t have prevented the cold from seeping in. His hands were shoved deep into the pockets of the thin jacket and he itched to make them do something— anything.
He reached up and fidgeted with glasses— twice in under 30 seconds now, the damn lenses weren’t even fogged up yet. He stared at the minute— barely there, dewdrops on his hand, his mind too clogged with thoughts yet none of them could escape his mouth.
The kids had gone home. All tired and sweaty, they all had waved wildly, giant grins stretching across their red sweaty faces. Takeda had smiled at the group waving— although not as enthusiastically, until the group had faded into shadows out the horizon. They would all be fast asleep as soon as they stepped foot in their homes, Ukai had worked them especially hard today.
Their practice match with Nekoma was coming soon, and Takeda had worked hard to make sure to get the opportune chance for their team.
"I don't know how you do it, Sensei ." Ukai had praised him earlier when Takeda had announced the news and Ukai immediately called the old coach to offer his thanks. His hand was still curled around the landline after getting off from a phone call with Coach Nekomata when he offered his own praises to Takeda.
Takeda replays the memory in his head, the way Ukai had smiled at him, his eyes proud and voice soft. The two men were alone in front of the shop now and although the memory was only a few hours old, it already held the warmth of an old photograph.
Takeda sneaks a discrete glance at the other man beside him. They were both leaning on the front of Ukai’s yellow car, both teachers rewinding after a work-filled day after school. Ukai had treated him to canned coffee as thanks and now the two empty cans sat cold and forgotten between them on the hood of the car— yet its contents still sat comfortably warm in their bellies.
Ukai coughs from beside him and Takeda wishes that he had turned away quick enough for the other man to not notice him.
“Want one?” Ukai asks, gesturing to the pack of cigarettes he was taking out of his pocket. “To take the edge off.”
Takeda flusters for a bit and shakes his head. “No thank you, Ukai-kun.” He gives a small smile. “I don’t smoke”
“Ok…,” he hears the muffled sound of the sticks being shaken out of the carton, followed up with a “Are you sure you don’t mind?”
Takeda shakes his head again, turning away. “I’m sure.”
They are both silent again and Takeda just tentatively watches the other man smoke. His brown eyes, almost hypnotized by the way he is unable to look away from the steady almost graceful stream of greyish blue smoke that the other inhales and exhales as easily as oxygen itself. The lone street lamp that illuminated the street served to be the only light surrounding them, which gave the smoke an almost ghost-like aspect. Fitting since that would be how its victims would end up anyway.
Normally he would find himself shuffling away from smokers— the sharp pungent stench just too much for the teacher— and Takeda would think that the act would look crude on anyone else. He admits internally that he had cringed upon entering Ukai's small quaint store, all those months ago, when he had involuntarily inhaled the reek coming from the bleached head behind the counter.
He continues staring as long sturdy fingers that had used to set wonderfully aimed balls at his teammates pinch the cigarette between them and Ukai inhales.
One.
Two.
Three.
Three counts.
The tip lights up —like a firework, with its fleeting brilliance— and ash shrivels down to the black asphalt, to quickly fade away into oblivion.
Exhale.
For a moment, Takeda wishes he could pull that damned cancer stick out and replace it with his own mouth.
The unwarranted thought makes him blush and turn away from his staring.
In all honesty, Takeda himself would be a much healthier option than cigarettes.
Takeda shakes his head again, all dog-like, his hands twitching under his pockets to smack sense back to him.
He’s being creepy, he knows it.
What kind of man stares at another like that?
...Thinks unjustly thoughts like that?
He hears Ukai’s cough and Takeda flinches, his internal scolding voice vanishing like startled ants.
“Hey Sensei?” His voice rings out and Takeda turns his head slowly.
“Yes?”
Ukai holds up one of those offending cigarettes and at first, he’s wondering if the other is offering it to him again until the taller man finally speaks.
“Can you light this for me? I think you borrowed my lighter earlier.”
Takeda feels himself redden a bit and wishes that the dim lamp post might be able to hide the embarrassment that he can already feel gradually creeping upon his face. Without further preamble, he pats his jacket pockets down.
I know I shoved them in here earlier. I couldn’t have left them back at the school.
Before he could start grumbling he feels a small solid rectangular shape underneath his pants and smiles in triumph when he pulls out the orange lighter.
He offers it to the other man and immediately, but his smile freezes on his face as if he had been caught stealing the specially imported wagyu beef from the supermarket.
The faux blond was leaning towards him, the cigarette dangling between his lips like a dull beacon of temptation. Ukai’s eyes had a shine to them, a look of interest and vigor he only got whenever the boys invented a team play or successfully mastered a particular serve/spike/receive.
“Won’t you light it for me, Takeda?” The use of his given name made the teacher come back to earth, as if he was entranced, the creak of plastic rang out and his hands nearly forgot that a lighter was clenched in his palm. He quickly flicked the flint wheel— the lighter was a cheap thing, it was one of the many colorful lighters sitting on top of Ukai's counter.
The metal was now starting to rub his thumb red after several unsuccessful clicks.
Takeda.
Takeda. Takeda. He called me Takeda.
Each thought floated between clicks, he hoped the flame would just ignite already, his thoughts burned him just as badly.
He was starting to sweat despite the cold and willed his entire body to focus on the lighter and the lighter alone.
A few more clicks and finally a small orange leaf-shaped flame rose to life. He rushed to cover it with his free hand when the flame trembled and nearly went out.
The other man must’ve had the same idea. Their hands bumped together and Ukai’s hand wound up covering the entirety of his. When the teacher made a move to slide his fingers away from underneath the other man’s, he was stopped by Ukai’s own larger fingers grasping onto his trembling ones, promptly keeping him in place.
“Ukai-kun, I…” Takeda started, the words immediately dying on his tongue. The coach’s brown eyes looked different now, the tiny flame between them making his eyes burn like hot coals and Takeda wanted to get nearer.
To see how those eyes burned.
“It’s okay, Sensei.”
And with that they were kissing, the lighter and cigarette lay forgotten between the two men. They started soft and curious at first. Ukai’s lips felt a bit dry , Takeda thought and was distracted with how the other was clutching at the dark curls behind his head. As their kiss got more passionate Takeda’s glasses knocked lopsidedly against Ukai’s cheek and before an apology could escape him, Ukai was plucking the glasses off of his face and proceeded to kiss him silly— all in one smooth motion it left him breathless.
This kiss was fast, passionate and Takeda felt like he couldn't keep up. This was how the delinquent boys would kiss their girls behind the school.
Hands roaming and desperate, eyes scrunched up and closed. His lungs burned and his mouth exploded with heat and coal.
Takeda had never been kissed this way before.
The teacher felt a wetness at his bottom lip and promptly opened his mouth, allowing Ukai access which resulted in the shorter man involuntarily letting out a gasp.
It felt so good and so hot and wet, Takeda felt as if he could get drunk with this sensation alone. But on the other hand, the raw bitter smell of cigarettes on Ukai’s tongue was too much and too sharp, Takeda had to pull away and lay his head on the other’s chest.
Ukai is so warm , he thought, letting himself catch breaths that he didn’t even recall needing.
He was nearing 30 for god’s sake, why was his chest heaving and heart pumping like it had been when he was in high school?
Takeda shivered at the large protective hand secured on the small of his back and he knew .
“Was.. was that too much?” Ukai’s chest rumbled from underneath his cheek and Takeda let out a soft chuckle.
“No…” He smiled up at him. “You were great, it's just..,” Takeda made a face and flickered his gaze down to the taller man’s mouth and Ukai’s eyes widened in realization and dare he say, was that a blush on his handsome face?
“I forgot to eat some mints after.” Ukai let out a low laugh and patted Takeda’s head, his fingers slowly dragging through the strands and tucking a dark curl behind his ear.
“I didn’t think you’d actually kiss me, Sensei.”
The nickname was back but it held a weight that wasn’t there before now.
“I didn’t think that you were actually interested in me that way.” Takeda replied, his head still pressed against the coach’s chest. He didn’t have the courage to look back up despite what the two men had just gone through minutes prior.
The memory brought more redness to his cheeks, he wanted more.
“Did you really think that?” Ukai’s hand was cupping his face now— his fingers idly twirling the locks behind his ear, and the look that he was giving the dark-haired man was so sad yet warm that Takeda found himself unable to bear the weight of the gaze and ducked back down.
“You were so focused on the boys…,” Takeda started, his voice soft. “I didn’t think you’d pay much attention to the pesky teacher who annoyed you into coaching volleyball”
Ukai’s fingers paused in their motions, before he resumed, along with his words.
“At first, I did think you were this nosy teacher..,” the coach let out a heavy laugh, filled with warmth that fit with the rest of him. “But… the more I saw you interact with the team, teaching them, scolding them...the more I realized that you were going to be the start of something so wonderful.”
Takeda smiles from against the blond’s chest and feels his heart swell so much, he wondered if Ukai could feel how loud his heartbeats were from in front of him.
“Ukai-kun?..,” He finally managed to look up at the other man, smiling, red-faced, and tipsy on the feeling of having the person you had thought could never be in reach, finally be settled happily between the blanket of your arms.
“Let’s get you some mints.” The smaller man whispered and let out a small laugh which grew in volume as he was reciprocated with a kiss on the nose, forehead, cheeks, and everywhere the coach’s mouth could reach, Ukai leaving words on the intervals of each kiss.
“I’m getting you back for that one, Sensei.” Kiss.
“If not now…,” Kiss.
“Then whenever..”
Kiss .
"For as long as you'll have me."