Chapter Text
Jimin.
Jungkook's drowsy mind smiles at the familiar touch - warm fingers treading softly through his tangled hair. He feels that familiar tuck of covers around him, the gentle touch on his face as a warm palm cups his jaw, those soft pats of fingers against his cheek - drawing a sigh off his lips. The warmth leaves his face quietly and a low rustle of curtains being pulled fills the quiet room. Soft padding across the carpeted floor grows distant until it goes completely silent.
Their daily routine.
Jungkook waits until he hears the soft click of their apartment door, the two turns of the lock, and sighs. He blinks open his eyes to the obsidian black of his room, taking deep breaths. The weight that has settled in his chest for a few months now, expands, almost to a point of choking him.
The irony, though, is that it still feels warm - almost scorching. It always does. Those gentle touches, soft caresses, knowing eyes, warm smiles...they are always warm. Fill him up, expand and when it gets too much, - which is more often than not - leak out of his eyes in the confines of the darkness of his room.
How can something so warm feel this painful? And, how can something so painful feel this warm? Fuzzy around its edges but heavy as lead.
He sighs, once again and turns to his side table.
04:17, it blinks.
Insanely early. As always.
Jimin should really ease down his study hours. It's not like he's in desperate need of catching up. The man is a walking genius and an almost legend sort of guy in their university. Now, it's not unheard of, but a second year student who has already given his second bar exam and is waiting upon the results? That's something to be in awe of. And Jungkook has always been in awe of Jimin. Bar or otherwise.
Always.
Jungkook presses his palm to his chest, willing for it to calm down. To do it's basic pumping and simply stick to just that. He shrugs himself off the longing and ache clenching his insides and prepares himself for the day. Will he ever have the courage to own his feelings? To reflect upon them? To actually act upon them? Or at least to deflect? And not feel as warm and content and happy at being on the recieving end of such pure, overwhelming gestures as he always does?
He doesn't think he's brave enough to find the answers to those questions. Atleast, not yet.
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Jungkook returns from his morning sprint laps, something he has realized helps him sort this thoughts to an extent - atleast for the day. He walks in to his - their - apartment, the smell of cinnamon and honey wafting through - as usual.
Jimin's back.
He sees a box on the make shift dining table of the kitchen and walks past it, a frown settling upon his face. He stops outside Jimin's bedroom door and waits. There's no need to knock. They've never had any rule nor the need to. But, what if -
Gulping down the rearing doubts and sliver of insecurities, he pushes the door gently.
Hunched over his study table, hair still wet from shower, lay Jimin, snoring softly into his laptop. A hand almost as warm as Jimin's wraps around Jungkook's heart and squeezes it - gentle, but steady. He takes a moment and pads softly into the room, the sight of wet, black hair haphazardly stuck over the calm, fair face of the man he's begun to develop dangerous feelings for, almost sets his nerves on fire. There's something so pure, beautiful and alluring about Jimin. It is in moments like this that he feels...normal.
His Jimin.
Not the charming, intimidating, smart legend. Not that he isn't - Jimin most definitely is, all of it and more. But right at the moment, in the confines of their apartment, when it's just the two of them, it feels more personal. More real.
His loving, soft, gentle, warm Jimin.
A side of Jimin that only Jungkook has ever seen. A side that only he has the access to.
Dangerous privilege, really.
Jungkook quietly pushes the plate of half eaten French toast to the mug of now cold coffee on the middle of the table and closes the laptop. He presses his palm flat against the middle of Jimin's back, his heart pounding in his ears like it always does, when there's even a slight contact with the asleep man. He brushes his finger tips against Jimin's forehead, taking in every feature etched upon that gorgeous face. He gently threads his fingers through Jimin's hair, his thumb drawing gentle circles on the man's back. He feels it even before he sees or hears it, the subtle stir - beneath his palm, and the soft vibrations of his groggy voice.
"Hi."
And despite everything that has been plaguing him since God knows when, Jungkook chuckles. Jimin does that. Only he holds the power to make Jungkook laugh at the most absurd things in the most absurd times.
"There's time." , he adds fondly at Jimin's frown and bends to reach for the hair blower that has been plugged in but obviously left forgotten.
"Early class.", the rough whispers come out, almost like a purr when he tugs gently at the raven hair - which Jungkook, with all his might tries not to ponder over -, trying to blow dry it. He hums at the shortened explanation, having already guessed about it, thanks to his packed breakfast.
"There's still time, Hyung. We're barely five minutes from the campus."
A quiet hum and the loud blows fill the room for a minute before he gently turns Jimin's head to the other side, and continues to dry his hair.
"I read your paper.", comes Jimin's voice - now calm, and almost back to normal. He's still crouched over, eyes closed and head resting against the desk.
"I told you, you can do it, Kook-ah.", he adds, his eyes blinking open. There's a smile spreading across his face and his voice is laced with something so soft and precious - fond adoration. And Jungkook didn't know if he could handle all that. The domesticity they're waltzing through with no doubts and questions, the heart tugging smiles and words, the dangerous trust they have in one another - Jungkook didn't know if he's strong enough, worthy enough to be on the recieving end.
"I'm so proud of you.", Jimin raises up, straightening his back and turns to Jungkook. He raises his right hand and presses his palm against Jungkook's wrist - the one that's been threading through Jimin's hair.
"You have any idea how phenomenal you are? To see you state the facts and laws and cross them against scenarios.", Jimin's face lights up as he gushes, or maybe it's the morning Sun shining through the window, but the man looks absolute ethereal.
This.
The other thing that has Jungkook floored, grounded and warm is this. Jimin's excitement, enthusiasm and genuine joy at seeing Jungkook learn. Not just succeed. Learn, ask, fail, relearn and then succeed. The entire process - ugly and painful bits included. Jimin has had his back, watched over him quietly as he floundered and made his own path. He has never had anyone tell him they're proud of him as many times as Jimin did. And everytime he hears him say those words, they ignite that thirsty fire in him to learn more and do better.
He's been living with Jimin for 2 years now. They're both from Busan and when Jungkook decided he wanted to attend bar, one of their families' mutual friends introduced them both. Back when they first first met, Jimin already got into the university. It didn't take them much time to click and Jungkook asked if he could consult him over a few doubts. An hour later Jimin decided that his new flatmate would be Jungkook, because then he'd have all the material and the guidance needed first hand.
True to Jimin's word, Jungkook got in the next year, and one needn't explicitly tell that a very huge credit for that goes to Jimin.
"You helped me.", Jungkook reminds with a soft smile, not bothering to do anything about the flush heating up his skin. What's the use? Jimin must've already seen it anyway.
Jimin takes the blower away from Jungkook and slaps his wrist, before he continues to finish drying his hair. "All I said is what else you could add. I wasn't the one that brought almost an entire row of library books home, passed out in the digital wing of the library, and ate only when been fed.", Jimin flaps his hand at the past few weeks that Jungkook lived through, making the other flush a deeper red and chuckle.
"Drove me crazy", he complains all too fond. It had been funny and a viral story when Jimin found Jungkook passed out in the library and tried to drag his arse back to their flat.
A story that still circulates around their campus.
"So when I say you've done a stupendous job, it means 'I'm totally going to make notes of it and try my best not to follow you just to see Professor Ye's expression when you submit your paper.'"
Jungkook laughs at that. Truly. He sits down on the bed and watches Jimin brush and style his hair back, tuck his blue denim shirt into his black jeans and strap his watch.
That's another thing.
Jungkook has a thing for formal wear and men in formal wear.
And Jimin, is always in his semi and or complete formal wears when he steps into the campus.
"She's gonna hand it to you anyway.", Jungkook smirks, his tongue against the inside of his cheek.
Jimin mock scowls at him through the mirror as he pats some cream onto his face.
"It's not that I underestimated you, you know that.", Jimin rolls his eyes at him, making Jungkook laugh again. "But who the hell finishes an entire freaking paper in 2 weeks?"
"You did."
"That was barely a paper. It was more of something sort of a case study. Not a potential thesis!"
"Professor Ye did."
"Yeah, yeah. And so did Jeon Jungkook."
There it is again. That warm warm gaze. Soft and fond. Proud and something intense. The gaze that began all these weird things in his stomach and chest and spine and brain.
"It was only fair I bet that you'd take atleast a month. But no. She bet that you'd finish in 3. And you-'", Jimin squints and points the lip balm at him through the mirror. "You had to go and finish in 2 weeks. Traitor.", he growls, biting down the remaining toast.
Jungkook laughs. Again. The fact of how much he laughs in Jimin's presence and how much he aches in his absence doesn't fly above his head. He's just being an idiot. And a coward. And he is painfully aware of it.
Gentle fingers running through his hair break him from his thoughts, and he almost sighs.
The scent of peaches and coffee fill him up, his brain bursting into tiny, fluffy french toasts.
"Don't skip your breakfast.", Jimin says, ruffling his hair, before he grabs his bag, phone and laptop, and his breakfast cutlery, walking out of the room.
Jungkook follows close by, his eyes taking in every move, trying to etch them into his memory, like he does every morning, everyday.
"Alright, then. See you.", Jimin smiles, his shoes all tied up.
Jungkook nods and watches the door click shut. Again. He walks back till he hits the wall and slides down till he's on the floor.
He is hopelessly and helplessly in love with Jimin.
That much he's aware, acknowledged and accepted.
How is he supposed to move ahead from here?
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Jungkook knows law-school is more or less a modern version of battlefield. Only, everyone is their own team. His paper went viral, both amongst faculty and students. And it went viral for more than one reason. It's no secret that he and Jimin share a flat, or that they spend quite some time together. So, rumors and speculations - sadly - were bound to float.
Now, the sneers, jabs and backhanded compliments - they're not something he couldn't deal with. There's a reason his nickname on the campus is Hulk. And it does fit him real well. He is always calm, composed, not to brag but phenomenally smart and dare he add, handsome. It's also true that he's got an anger that's scary. Unrivalled and cold. His biggest asset, like Jimin always says.
While people tend to lose their calm when they get angry, both he and Jimin are masters of winning the wrecking waters with consistent and cold strategies. It is as if their brains get hyper aware and sensitive. There's a reason the both of them are taking the bar by a storm.
It must be a Busan thing, Professor Ye always jokes. Well, it might not be a joke after all.
It's been around a month since he submitted his research. The heat of the talk though, is no where close to winding down. It's funny how people have enough time to speculate and try and tear others down, but never enough to prepare and give a decent exam.
Jungkook sighs, leaning his forehead onto his book. Crouched on the table, in the quiet of the library, bundled up in an oversized hoodie, sat the cold Hulk, sulking away instead of preparing for his upcoming bar exam.
Jimin would skin him alive.
But then, if they had been just about him, Jungkook wouldn't be giving a damn. The fact that they're all ruthlessly and shamelessly trying - and the keyword being, trying - to drag Jimin along is setting his nerves on edge. It's not that Jimin gives a damn. Or that Jimin can't take care of himself - oh no, the man is ferocious enough to send shivers down Jungkook's spine. He simply wants people to stop speaking and drag Jimin's name around. There's this unexplainable need swirling inside him. The need to punch each and every single mouth that spoke ill of his love.
Yes, in the past one month, Jungkook has progressed to acknowledging and owning his feelings. What's he to do beyond that is however, still under-progress.
A gentle ruffle on his head from over his hoodie makes Jungkook snap out of his thoughts, startle and jump a little in his chair. A ruckus that now has garnered the attention of a good portion of the library. He hears an amused chuckle and Jungkook scowls, looking up. He squints at the cup offered and accepts it, grumbling, as he sips in the coffee.
Lord bless the man and his goat that found caffeine. Seriously.
Jimin settles down in the chair opposite him, deposits his bag, laptop and books onto the table, in a practiced silence.
Jungkook watches him from above the rim of the cup, taking in every moment and etching them into his memory - again. His heart has begun it's marathon, but he is now quite used to it. He'd actually be surprised if there's Jimin around him and he wouldn't find something about that man that would set his pulse on a race.
'One hour. Dinner. Finish your work.'
Jungkook stares at the post-it that Jimin quietly pasted on his side the table, and frowns.
That's another thing.
It's a Friday night. Weekend opening. And yet, here they are. Studying. And then they'll eat, talk, watch a movie and fall asleep. Like they've been doing for the last two years.
No, Jungkook is not complaining.
It's just that...
'If that frown has got to do with anything other than your bar exam, I'm going to kick your butt to next Sunday.'
Jungkook rolls his eyes at that post-it, folds it neatly and goes back to concentrating on the book in front of him. He'd have to be suicidal to ignore that warning, that too infront of the man himself.
Moments later, he feels a warm hand slide across his back and turns his wrist to check the time.
Damn, it's been more than 2 hours now.
"Was that a reservation?", he asks, looking up sheepishly.
Jimin simply chuckles and rubs his palm across his back in soothing circles, drawing an involuntary sigh from Jungkook. He packs his stuff quickly and stands up, his eyes going down to Jimin's palm as it wraps around his own. He watches Jimin's back as the latter guides him out gently, but steadily.
This thing. That's the thing. The...thing.
Jungkook didn't know if he wanted to know. But he couldn't stand not knowing either.
"You're frowning.", he hears Jimin and gulps. Of course, Jimin noticed.
Jimin stops and turns back. He takes a moment and tilts his head, watching Jungkook closely. "Again.", he adds softly.
And Jungkook feels like he's in the courtroom. Those eyes.
Jungkook can write papers over papers over those deep, knowing eyes. He could write them for days at a stretch. He could turn them in, in simply a day, if need be it. Those damned eyes.
"Kookie."
And that damned voice. Soft, knowing, warm, comforting, understanding.
Damn, that voice.
There's a tug on his palm and Jungkook feels himself being guided to stop by the railing of the corridor.
"Here or over dinner?", Jimin asks gently, his eyes boring down at him. As if pinning him down, but with a warm hug.
That's another thing. Jimin never ever leaves space for any sort of miscommunication between them. If something's there, it will be addressed, sooner than later. A practise that has slowly begun to ingrain in Jungkook. It's now become their habit. Their rule.
"It's the weekend."
Lame. Jungkook knows. But he needs this talk - to let it a bit out. With those eyes, voice, touch and warmth surrounding him, that's all he could come up with.
And how can someone look so tired and yet so gorgeous? His forest green shirt tucked - unbelievably neatly - into his black pants, really brought out the fair glow of his skin. And despite the slight dark circles under those deep eyes, the hair tousled by fingers that's run through them over and over again over the day, Jimin looks too composed for the end of the day. Specially if you'd compare him to Jungkook who threw the first pair of jeans he could snatch from his closet, an oversized black hoodie and his black combat boots. Don't even go near his mop of ruffled hair.
Damn it.
Steering himself off feeding off Jimin's appearance, Jungkook takes another breath and steadies himself. "You've got no plans?"
Jimin frowns. He ponders over, as if that question just made no sense. And then he sighs softly, as if he's made a decision of sorts. There's a moment of trepidation there and Jungkook decides that he hates it.
Jimin takes another quiet moment, his frown softening down. "Clearly, I do.", he says with a hint of amusement, raising their entwined hands.
A flush hot and red colors Jungkook and he stares right back. Realization hits him like freight car and Jungkook simply stands, holding Jimin's hand, watching him watch him take those words in.
They're both too clever and sorted to play dumb.
He knows what's going on. He's hearing what Jimin is saying. He's watching what Jimin is showing.
It's just-
He hears Jimin sigh again and snaps from his thoughts.
Jimin looks down at their hands, a soft smile painted across his lips, and he runs his thumb in gentle circles over the back of Jungkook's hand. He then looks up and tilts his head. "Unless you've got plans?"
Jungkook shakes a no. A bit too quick. But there's no embarrassment in that. There's nothing he'd ever be embarrassed about in front of Jimin.
"Friends or, I mean, your batch mates.", Jungkook tries again. It's not that he's not clear. He just wants to understand. A little bit more.
From his peripheral vision, he sees a couple of people walking, stalling a little as they pass by them. That could simply be Jungkook exaggerating or maybe the two of them are really drawing attention.
But Jungkook has never given a damn. And clearly, Jimin doesn't either.
There. That warm weight expanding in him. What is he supposed to do with it?
"You know what Tae is up to. And that the rest are out of town.", Jimin explains patiently, his thumb still drawing languid, gentle circles. "I've spent more than 14 hours with my batch mates today, Kook-ah. It's high time I run the opposite direction.", he chuckles, a hint of whining lacing his tone.
Jungkook relaxes and chuckles back, looking down at their hands. A smile stretches his lips and he nods. The flutters in his stomach speed up and there's this déjà vu filling inside him. Like this isn't exactly the first time they're doing this - which is true. They've been doing this for two years now . Gently, consistently. How did he never realize this before?
He looks up at Jimin - who has been watching him with a soft smile all along - and nods again.
"Good. I'm starving.", Jimin beams, squeezing his hand, before they start walking again. Hand in hand, bags slung across their shoulders, smiles on their lips, laughter in the voices as they talk about their day.