Chapter Text
“Hey, my honey bun. Sweetheart, please slow down or else you might fall and get ouchie!” Yoongi shouted while chasing after a very excited Jimin, who was running around in the room in excitement.
“ Mochi wan’ chu pway with Mochi” Jimin squealed like a dolphin, urging the members to play with him. “Dadi, pway with me. Me wanna pway with chu en toys !”
“ Anything for you, my lovely baby, my dearest baby,” Yoongi whispered while kissing the boy’s forehead, while the rest of the group pampered Jimin with cuddles and soft kisses. The boy giggled and fell asleep in Yoongi’s arms.
“Sweet dreams my only lovely baby…” The members whispered barely audible words. Mochi was already sleeping soundly in their arms, the corners of his lips curled up in a crescent-moon shape, letting out soft whimpers. “ We love you, baby, you deserve so much…”
“ Do you want cuddles? Let’s all cuddle our baby,”
“ Mochi is the best baby,”
“ We all love you, baby,”
“ Baby, you deserve all the love. We love you, mwah,” The room was filled with love and kissing. They were all gathering around and pampering Mochi with love and comfort.
“ me no gud boi…no one wuv me...” a faint whisper was unheard by everyone in the room. He looked at the boy who was comforted by the members with the wishing eyes filled with tears.
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During the last world tour, the whole group was so stressed out, especially Jimin. He had been receiving so much hate from the anti-fans because, in a concert, his voice suddenly cracked by accident when he tried to reach the high notes. Jimin cried and cried a lot, he kept crying nonstop that he involuntarily slipped in Little Space, which he discovered recently. Little Space was the mindset or headspace in which an adult feels carefree and relieves stress, soothing their “big” problems. BTS had accepted and supported Jimin so much and taken good care of him every time he was in Little space.
Little did they know, there was another Little among them...
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THROWBACK
Months ago, Jin was surfing through the internet after a concert. His eyes lingered when he saw fanfic that an ARMY posted online. Of course, he knew fans are writing fanfics about them, there are thousands of them. Suddenly, Jin stopped scrolling when he saw a Little! Jin fanfic. “Hmm, interesting,” he thought, “ what does being a Little mean huh…”. He began digging into the story. It described him acting like a child, wearing animal onesies and drinking by sippy cup and coloring books. He was being taken care of by BTS members, they kissed and hugged him, and he even called Taehyung “Daddy”, and Tae was his caregiver. He knew Jimin was a little but never researched further and didn’t know much about it. After discovering the story, he was so interested in little space. Being a little could be so nice. He wanted to be a little too. Maybe he could. He wanted to be taken care of. “Hmmm, this is so much fun, I think I would like to be in little space too,” he thought to himself “...having the members take care of me is so much fun, and maybe I coul…” his thought was interrupted by a phone ringing sound. It was Jungkook calling him.
“ Hyung, can you come to Jimins’s room real quick? He’s being very, very little right now and I don’t know what am I supposed to do,” said Jungkook, in a very urgent voice tone
“ Okay hold on I’ll be there in just a second.” Jin sighed after ending his call. Yeah, you’re supposed to be the one who takes care of them, not the opposite way, he thought, you have the responsibilities to take good care of the members, to make sure they don’t skip meals and don’t overwork themselves, you would always be the one that comforts them and lean on you when they’re feeling down, but not the other way around. Brush it off, forget ‘bout it, you will deal with this alone Seokjin, they are already tired and they had one Little needs to be taken care of. There’s no way I would be a Little, no way…
Jin secretly slipped in little space when the members were not around. At first, he only slipped whenever he liked, or when he was alone. But he had been slipping involuntarily recently. Their preparation for the comeback was stressful, Jin started slipping in little space more frequently. He sometimes slipped unintentionally and uncontrollably. Jin tried hard but he couldn’t help but slip. The members had not discovered it yet. He didn’t have the gut to tell them. And Jin had been keeping his little secret to himself for half of the year by now…
Time skip:
“ Hewo RJ ‘ewo Tata chu wan pway tea pawtie wit Jinnie?” Jinnie excitedly asked.
“ Yes RJ en Tata wan chu pway wit Jinnie.” Jinnie talked in a cute voice, while using his other free hand and made RJ nod.
“ Hehe RJ, Tata are invited to my tea pawtie.” Jinnie grinned, helping Tata and RJ sit on pink soft cushions beside his pink short tea table with pink plastic tea cups and teapots on top of it surrounding small pastel pink plates. He sneakily stole the tea table in Mochi’s playroom when the members were out, going shopping and buying toys for Mochi. Jinnie huffed and pouted. Since they discovered Mochi’s little space, they seemed to give all the attention to him. They often went out with him to buy toys and stuff. Of course, Jin had to come with them, too. Whenever he passed the toy stalls, his eyes lingered on the toys on the shelf with wanting eyes. He tried to contain himself when they went to the soft and colorful plushies sitting on the shelves, which seemed like encouraging him to slip into little space. Jin would always walk by the toy stalls fast to not trigger his little. Sometimes, he received weird-looking, confused stares or suspicious looks from the members but he would just laugh it off and switch the topic. He had always been good at hiding his struggles to himself, not letting anyone worry about him. As a habit, they usually went out once a week to the park, or the shopping mall with Mochi whenever they didn’t have any schedules. Last week wasn’t an exception, but Jin told them that he was feeling unwell so he needed to stay at home. And to his surprise, they didn’t mind at all, they just said goodbye and left. He felt his heart shattered for a bit. None of them asked why he needed to stay home or how unwell he was feeling. That was no big deal, Jin bit his lips. Jin was slightly sad but also happy. At least he could be himself, freely slip into little space without them knowing. He went to Mochi's playroom that the members made especially for him. Little Jinnie envied him so much. He got all he wanted and the love from the members. Inside the room was full of toys, plushies, costumes, and baby items such as binkies and sippy cups. Jinnie eyed each of them with wishing eyes. He had always wanted them but he knew he could never ask for them. It’s okay, he thought, just looking at them was enough. Those sippy cups and pacifiers placed around looked so sparkly. Those fluffy shirts and squishy plushies on the shelves he wanted so bad! Toys and plushies were all around the room. He was looking around and then an item caught his eye: a tiny pink tea table came with a tea set with little cups and a pot and baby pink lace handkerchiefs. He reached his arms, attempting to take it but his hands stopped. “ Stewing ish bad! Nini nu bad!” he thought and returned the toy. “ But Nini wan! Nini wan tow too! Nini nu hab tow” He was struggling with the decision: Should he take the toy or not. Finally, he decided to take the tea table with him with a bag of his favorite sweets. Mochi had so many toys that he rarely played with that toy. Maybe he wouldn’t know, Jinnie thought and brought the table with him. “ Mochi nu pway wif sho Nini hab it. Ish dat otay? Ish Nini bad?” He asked the RJ plushie in his arms and made the toy nod. “ Otay,” Jinnie smiled, walking out, and successfully took the tea table to his room under the bed. He didn’t like stealing at all but he had no toys to play with except for Tata and RJ while Mochi had so many. Jinnie sighed and pouted at the thought. Maybe taking some wouldn’t hurt at all, maybe.
“ RJ, chu wan cup of tea?” Jinnie politely asked. “ Yes pwease, Jinnie. I’d wan cup ow tea.” Jinnie used his hand to nod RJ’s head. “U nu chu might speww the teaw, let Jinnie welp chu.” Jinnie grabbed two pink handkerchiefs and wrapped them around Tata’s and RJ’s neck while wrapping another one around his neck also.
“ Hewe chu go,” Jinnie proudly smiled, pouring imaginary tea into RJ's and Tata’s cup. “ U nunu Tata, you can’t dwink tea wike that!” Jinnie angrily said when he saw the red plushie fall over, face falling onto the teacup.
“ Chu must not dwink tea wike that! That ish not powite and not gud boi. A gud boi must dwink wike dis.” Jinnie lifted the tiny teacup and sticks his little pinky and his ring finger out slowly and sipped the “ tea “ in his cup.
“ Nini hab snaccs,” Jinnie’s eyes sparkled, hurriedly searching under the bed.
Jinnie pulled out a bag of peach-flavored jelly - his favorite sweets from under the bed. The members bought loads of toys and sweet treats for Mochi. Jinnie also wanted candies so he decided to steal some from Mochi.
“ Otays...guess RJ and Tata nu wike tea pawtie then. Uhmm let seeee,” Jinnie was thinking hard “ Jinnie know! Let’s build a blanket fowt! “ Jinnie squealed like a seal while dragging his two little friends with him. He carried his fluffiest blankets and softest pillows, arranged the pillows to make them standstill. The bottom of the fort was a thick, soft mat. Jinnie covered the top with his fluffiest blanket, then put thinner blankets and small pillows into the fort.
“ Pwincess RJ, pwince Tata,” Jinnie solemnly said, “ me, king Jinnie, built a castwe for chu.”
Jinnie carefully placed his two friends into the fort, himself crawled into the blanket pile and didn’t forget to grab his jelly bag. Jinnie opened the bag and pulled out a tiny piece of jelly, threw it in the air, it fell back down onto his mouth. Jinnie giggled and clapped his tiny hands. Jin was known for having tiny fists, Knets call them tips of the cotton sticks because they look so small and harmless. “ Chu wan sum?” Jinnie gave Tata the jelly “ dis is Jinnie’s favowite hehe, yum yum!”. He tossed a piece of candy in his mouth. Sweetness suffused all over his tongue. So yummy!
“ But Jinnie stole jellie…” he sadly pouted. Guilt started creeping inside him. He stole something that wasn’t his. That ain’t no good boy. “ Jinnie nu gud boi.” He pouted harder. Jinnie was on the verge of crying. “But dat’s becauwse nu wan gib Jinnie jellie. Jinnie gud boi, Jinnie wan jellie, tu.” Jinnie burst out crying, letting out sobs and choking on his tears. He was a good boy, never bothered anyone. Why did they give Mochi gifts and didn’t give him anything? He was younger than him. He was a baby. He also wanted toys and sweets. He also wanted to be taken off. Why did they only pay attention to Mochi? Why did they only baby and play with Mochi, not him? Did he do anything wrong? Maybe he wasn’t a good boy, Jinnie thought. Hot tears rolled down his cheeks and seeped on the pillows. His body lightly shook from crying. He lay there crying until he calmed down after twenty minutes. He was all alone. No caregiver, no one came to comfort him. Just him alone with his plushies, the only ones who knew his secret.
“ Tata,” Jinnie mumbled between sobs. “ Nini wan wuv too. Nini wan them to wuv Nini and gib Nini cuddwes and kithies,”
“ Nini wan be wuv like Mochi. Nini wan toys and sweets and kithes and huggies and cuddwes, too,” Jinnie pouted. Why did they always shower Mochi with love but he didn’t receive anything?
“ Nini big dummie. They nu wuv Nini.”
Jinnie whimpered while playing with Tata’s arms, curling into a ball beside the pillows and still sobbing. “ Chu think Jinnie gud boi?” the boy asked his two little friends between sad hiccups. “ Uh yeh, Jinnie gud boi! I wuv Jinni,” Jinnie said in Tata’s voice, using his hands to make the plushie nod. “ Otay, Jinnie wuv chu,” Jinnie replied, followed by a yawn.
“ Nini tiwed,” He wiped his tears away with the sleeves.
“ Messie,” he thought. If he had no one as a caregiver then he could take care of himself.
“Jinnie sweepie now. Night night Tata, night night RJ…” he mumbled, clutched Tata and RJ tightly, and slowly fell asleep. Jinnie felt truly happy and wonderful being himself without worrying about anything. Maybe he just needed a caregiver, but no one wanted to be his caregiver anyway, Jinnie thought, but I guess that’s otay. He hugged Tata and RJ tightly to his chest, cheeks squished against the toys.
“ Hyung, why is your room so messy?” Jungkook peeked in the door, seeing his eldest hyung sleeping on the ground on top of an enormous pile of blankets and pillows. Jinnie was startled as he heard Jungkook’s voice. He quickly shoved his tea table and plushies under the bed, as fast as possible.
“ And why are you sleeping on the ground?” Jungkook questioned, eyes moving around, it seemed like he was reading the room.
“ Uh guess I fell from the bed when I was sleeping hehe,” Jin awkwardly replied and grinned shyly.
“ We are heading to the company right now. Today we are receiving our lines for our next comeback. See you later, bye.” Jungkook closed the door. Jin sighed in relief. His secret was almost revealed.
‘ Yes, the lines again. Every single time,” Jin thought ‘ every single time I only got one or two damn lines in our song. But that’s because I’m talentless, and no matter how hard I try, I’m still talentless. Other members are so good, but people only see me as the pretty one, as the mom of the group.’ Jin discouragingly sighed, tears pricked from his eyes from the frustration. Now he’s not a little anymore, he’s in the real world, dealing with tons of problems every day. Jin had allowed himself to slip alone only when the members were not around. He had always been in little space alone with no caregivers but only with his toys. The toys were hidden under his bed so the members wouldn’t know his secret. He just wished to be carefree, feel happy, and not have to deal with pressures every day. But he couldn’t, because he was the oldest member, and he was supposed to take care of his younger brothers. He wanted to be recognized more, but sadly people only saw him as the mother of the group, only had the duty to take care of his dongsaengs….
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word count: 2610 words
part 1 of Jinnie's Littwe Secwet