Work Text:
Waking slowly from a really nice dream, Dean reaches out to hug his pillow and feels little hard things under his fingers instead of soft puffiness. He blinks open his eyes and finds the bed next to him, all around him, in fact, covered with every kind of wrapped candy imaginable.
Huffing in annoyance, he brushes a pile of cinnamon candies off his pillow and drags it over his face. This is the third time in two weeks he's awakened to mounds of gifts--though he really didn't mind the vault full of pornos.
When Sam peeks his head in to see what's keeping him from breakfast, he snorts in amusement and barely avoids the lobbed Cadbury's Easter eggs.
Dean refuses to discuss it. If he downs a few pixie sticks before bed that night, no one has to know.
*****
Two nights later the brothers return from taking out a vampire nest outside Boulder, Colorado to find their fridge stocked with ice cold beer and the table groaning with barbecue ribs, hot buttered corn, crispy fries, and several other sides.
He's not counting, but it's the third time in recent weeks they've come home to a hot and ready feast.
Sam rolls his eyes. Dean ignores him and fills a plate with burnt ends and baked beans, grabs a beer and sits down to watch Dazed and Confused on his laptop.
He's pretty sure he didn't have that DVD before.
*****
The next day Dean spends most of the day on the couch, groaning from eating a whole apple pie on top of the ribs and beans, until Sam comes in with an old looking trunk, setting it on the coffee table. Sitting up to open it, Dean's eyes light up at the gleaming knives laid out in velvet lined trays. Beneath the two layers, there's a silk wrapped sword.
Last week it was guns--his favorite's a pearl handled revolver--and a few days before that all their spelling materials had been replenished.
"You really need to pick one," is all Sam says as he surreptitiously tucks a small knife into his boot sheath.
"Candy, food, weapons, beer, movies, everything a guy needs."
"Stringing along three archangels is not a good idea, Dean."
Shrugging his shoulders, Dean flips a perfectly balanced dagger from hand to hand.
*****
Over the next week he's gifted with every Captain America comic since the '40s, a perfectly tune-up and waxed Baby, and a new leather jacket and boots.
He has no qualms about using any of them. Not any more. Sure, at first, when Gabriel escaped from Purgatory and then freed Lucifer and Michael, building all of them bodies so they didn't need to take and burn out vessels, Dean was horrified that Lucifer was walking the Earth again and spent a couple weeks trying to send him back to Hell.
Until Michael confronted him, told him that Lucifer had changed, that none of them wanted to rule Earth anymore or destroy Heaven or Hell. When Dean scoffed, Gabriel just told him to be patient, give them a chance.
Dean stomped away in frustration.
The courting started the next day, the lingering frustration and just a bit of fear turned to complete bafflement.
Lucifer gave him a puppy.
Dean named it Puddles.
*****
"Dean, you've got to stop stringing them along."
"Why? I already told you. They keep us in food, booze, gas for Baby. Our weapons never need cleaning, we always get the presidential suite in every hotel." Dean says all this while shoveling chocolate cake in his mouth--a gift from Gabriel.
"Don't you think it's a bit...weird?"
Dean shrugs and washes the cake down with a glass of milk before leaning back in his chair and stretching his legs out under the table, kicking his brother, who scowls at him. "Sorry," he says, fake concern on his face.
"Right now they're all getting along with each other and being nice to you. What happens when they run out of patience? Or start fighting with each other?"
Sam is being completely serious, and he's also concerned, and Dean realizes it. Sitting up straight, he wipes crumbs from his mouth as his happy buzz fades. "Maybe... maybe I don't want to deal with this right now."
Jumping to his feet he flees to his room and finds Gabriel lounging on the bed--which isn't a twin anymore but this king sized four poster with a canopy and enough cushions for an army. The archangel plucks a lolly pop from his mouth and frowns. "You don't have to choose, y'know."
"Huh?"
Sitting up, Gabriel pats the bed next to him until Dean sinks down into memory foam that molds to his butt. "We used to share everything. Being imprisoned for eons--or what seemed like it, at least--taught us all a lesson." The angel's face grows serious and he reaches out to cup Dean's cheek. "We love each other and, somehow, we all fell for you."
"But...why?" Dean protests, but doesn't pull away because Gabriel's hand feels so good. "Why me?"
"I dunno why Michael and Lucy love you, but you're a snarky asshole and I really love that in a guy."
"Last year I was a demon."
Gabriel snorts. "Yeah, and after I gave Mary the good news a couple millennia ago, I roamed the Earth fucking and fighting my way through civilization after civilization, drunk half the time and pulling pranks the other half. We're a lot alike."
"You killed me a hundred times!"
"You're still here."
Dean gapes at him and then can't help himself, he just starts laughing, until Gabriel kisses him and topples him back onto the absurd bed.
*****
The next morning Sam just gives pointed looks to the hickeys ringing Dean's neck as his older brother chugs coffee and eats three bowls of peanut butter Capt. Crunch.
"You're going to get fat."
"Nah, one of the perks of dating archangels. I can eat anything I want and keep my washboard stomach," he retorts around a spoonful of cereal--mostly done to annoy Sam who bristles and nibbles on his one piece of toast and egg white omelet.
"So, you picked Gabriel?"
"Nope."
"But..." Sam's mouth snaps shut and he glares into his coffee cup. "This is going to end in tears."
"Nah, more likely explosions, but I'm okay with that."
Dean reaches for the box of cereal and is delighted to find it full again.
*****
A couple days later he's out back of the bunker shooting at bottles with one of his new guns when Michael appears at his side.
"I'm glad you're enjoying my gift."
"Er, yeah, thanks. They're all great." Putting on the safety, he sets down the gun and nervously rubs the back of his neck while Michael watches him, a pleased smile on his face. "I...um...Gabriel..."
"I'm not envious of my brother, of either of them. I just want to make you happy, keep you safe, give you a long life."
"Oh. Okay?"
Taking a step towards him, Michael breaks the personal space bubble, and Dean's breath catches in his throat. The body he chose is young, with lightly tanned skin and dark brown hair pulled back with a tie. He has a slight beard and soft brown eyes, and Dean finds himself swallowing hard as desire spools through him. Gabriel kept his familiar form, and Dean liked blanketing him, but Michael is as tall as Dean and his lips are right there.
Dean kisses him first.
Michael takes them both down to the sun-warmed ground.
*****
The next night Dean is unable to sleep, confused and wondering how his life took these weird turns--and why he's not more bothered by it--when Lucifer settles next to him on his narrow bed. It's really not big enough for two. Lucifer is the bulkiest of the angels, shorter than Dean, but all muscle and a chiseled jaw and brilliant blues eyes half hidden by nearly black, shaggy bangs. They're on their sides, touching lightly from chest to knees.
Of the three, he's most wary of this formerly fallen angel, because...well, Lucifer. He did try to kill him, did kill thousands, took over Sam, tried to bring Hell on Earth...
"You're over thinking," the archangel growls softly.
"It's weird to see you with skin that's not peeling off."
Lucifer smirks. "Always the bold one."
"Um, yeah, though it doesn't seem to annoy you." The archangel's hand is roving up his hip, pushing up under his t-shirt, and Dean's stomach clenches, but not in fear.
"No, I truly am a changed being."
"But...why? I'm just a guy, a dick, a dick with a dick." Dean really doesn't understand what he's done to become the great love interest of three of the most powerful creatures the universe has ever seen.
Still smirking, Lucifer's hand wanders down from his stomach to cup him. "I like your dick."
"Fuck." Dean nearly swallows his tongue.
"Yes."
*****
A month goes by. A month filled with hunting and research with his brother, and being courted by three archangels. They whisk him around the world on amazing dates, or just curl with him in his bed watching movies and eating popcorn. He dines with Michael in the light of the Eiffel Tower, learns to surf with Lucifer on the white sand beach of Oahu, and rides Space Mountain and Pirates of the Caribbean at Disney World with Gabriel.
It's all weirdly magical and Dean keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop, the worm to turn, the archangels to just...do something to destroy it all.
So, in a fight with a group of ghouls, he gets careless and ends up with his own knife through one shoulder pinning him down while the three not fighting Sam start to gnaw on him. As Dean yells in shocked pain, bolts of lightning strike, incinerating the ghouls feeding on him and the ones taking Sam down. Nearly blind, he can still see the three archangels emerging from the burning white light, and as consciousness fades, he remembers that they're not just his odd boyfriends, but God's wrath, his generals.
"Warriors Three," he mumbles as his eyes close and the agony fades.
*****
He's warm, comfortable. There are gentle hands on him, fingers sliding through his hair, soft breaths on his skin. Slowly Dean opens his eyes. The room is dimly lit, but he recognizes it as his own. The bed, though, is Gabriel's huge one. He feels a body to his right and looks over expecting to see the former Trickster, but it's Lucifer's curled against him there, eyes shining with concern. A glance to his left reveals Michael's the one combing Dean's hair with his long fingers.
Where...?
A snap of fingers brings more light to the room and he sees Gabriel sprawled across his legs, eating a twinkie.
They've never been together like this, all four of them. Dean thinks it should be uncomfortable, but instead, he feels good, it feels right that all three archangels are here.
"Didja heal me?" he mumbles because he's feeling no pain.
"Of course," Lucifer rumbles, fingers touching Dean's neck where he remembers one of the ghouls bit him, probably severing the carotid.
"You are precious to us," Michael proclaims, foot rubbing against Dean's beneath the duvet.
"But...but...why?"
Gabriel snorts and tosses a twinkie onto his chest. "Why not?"
Gaping at him, Dean starts to shake his head, because it really doesn't make sense. He's just a guy.
But, then, he's also a warm, whole, healed and happy guy.
So...
"Y'know, I've always wanted to see the Grand Canyon..."
End