Work Text:
“what’s on your mind, cheol?” jeonghan asks.
seungcheol looks at him and blinks.
when seungcheol says he doesn't remember a life without jeonghan is not a hyperbole - he truly doesn't. they met when they were three years old and jeonghan never left his side since then.
sometimes, he can predict what jeonghan will say or do, completes his phrases, gives him something before he asks for it. jihoon once said it was scary, how they seemed to read each other's minds.
jeonghan is like a part of himself outside of his body. they are completely in synch with each other, vibrating at the same frequency. he thinks that he must know jeonghan better than he knows himself.
seungcheol saw jeonghan growing up with him, becoming a teenager and then an adult. he saw him falling in love for the first time, crying over a break up, going on dates and getting to know new people. he hugged jeonghan, cried with him, laughed with him. he was lucky to be by his side for so long.
after jeonghan last break up, he asks seungcheol for a trip. just them. of course seungcheol agrees.
they rent a cabin in the country and drive there to spend the weekend. jeonghan chooses the playlist, singing khalid and jorja smith, the window down, his hair a mess because of the wind. seungcheol laughs at him and jeonghan’s voice fills his heart.
it had been a while since they spent time together, just the two of them. with work and personal projects and relationships they barely had time for their weekly dinner.
seungcheol misses it. he misses jeonghan the moment he leaves. misses the time when they were young and lived in the same street, coming home from school and spending the whole afternoon together. misses when they shared a dorm in college, mixing their stuff, cooking for each other, seeing jeonghan in one of his hoodies, using seungcheol’s shampoo and smelling like him, asking if they can cuddle during finals because he was tired and needed comfort, and seungcheol was comfort. misses him every time jeonghan dates someone new because that means he doesn’t have so much free time for seungcheol. he misses jeonghan with his whole body every time he is away.
they get to the cabin after a few hours and without thinking twice, they agree to take a nap. the cabin is small, with only one bedroom and one huge bed. they are used to sharing a bed. jeonghan curls himself against seungcheol, who puts an arm around his waist, pulling him closer. they have been sleeping like this for all of their lives. jeonghan once said he felt protected when he was in seungcheol's arms.
(seungcheol was never able to forget this.)
when they wake up, the night has fallen and they are hungry.
"i think i've never seen so many stars," jeonghan says, looking through the window. "let's drink and eat outside!"
they put a blanket in the grass along the bottles of wine they bought. seungcheol cooks (as always) and puts it between them. they eat and jeonghan tells about something that happened in his office. seungcheol smiles and drinks from his glass of wine.
jihoon once told him that every time he hung out with seungcheol and jeonghan he felt like he was interrupting. “you both only has eyes for each other, nothing else matters.” he said. seungcheol laughed.
“jeonghan doesn’t see me like that, i’m just his best friend.” jihoon rolled his eyes.
“the way he looks at you, seungcheol, it’s like you’re the only person in the world. he doesn’t look like this at anyone else, not even his boyfriends.” he ends the subject and answers his phone.
he ignored what jihoon said because he couldn’t fool himself like this. he couldn’t feed the hope of jeonghan loving him back. because having hope would mean creating the courage to say something and that could lead to the end of their friendship. seungcheol could lose many things, but not jeonghan. anything but him.
so he buries his feelings deep inside of him, he answers when jeonghan calls, hugs him when jeonghan wants, is there every time he needs him.
they eat and they drink and they talk. it’s two in the morning and they lay in the blanket, staring at the sky. jeonghan holds seungcheol’s hand with his own two hands on top of his stomach. his thumb caresses seungcheol’s fingers. they are so close that seungcheol can feel the warmth of jeonghan’s body.
“what’s on your mind, cheol?” jeonghan asks.
the music plays lowly next to them.
my love is yours if you're willing to take it, give me your heart 'cause I ain't gonna break it, so come away, starting today, to start a new life together in a different place, we know that love is how all these ideas came to be, so baby, run away with me
“nothing. i’m a little dizzy.”
jeonghan giggles and turns his face into the sky.
“i’m so happy we’re here together. is such a beautiful night.”
seungcheol looks at this man.
this man that has his heart, that will always have. this man that saw him on his lowest moments, that loved him even when he didn’t deserve it. this man that wears his own heart on his sleeve, that believes in people, that has so much love inside of himself and trusts seungcheol with a huge part of it.
“it is.” seungcheol says and sees jeonghan smiling, squeezing his hand.
this is enough for seungcheol.