Chapter Text
This was it. The moment he had thought about every moment for the past six weeks. The moment he had dreamt about during the rare occurrence that he had been able to fall asleep. With the help of the 'Queens of Darkness', he had broken the curse that prevented those who left Storybrooke from returning. And yet as he stared at the town line, the very spot where he stood six weeks ago after his wife had banished him from the town, he could not move. He had told his companions to go ahead without him. He wanted to alone for this moment. Minutes had passed since he had watched the women cross the line and enter into the small town, confirming they were successful in breaking the Snow Queen’s curse. Still he was frozen in place.
What the hell are you waiting for? his inner voice shouted. And although he could pretend he didn’t know the reason for his hesitation, the truth was undeniable. He was afraid. Fear was something Rumplestiltskin had struggled with his whole life. Becoming the dark one had made his pathetic life as a coward a little more bearable. Crossing the line would give him those powers back. But this time, the power would do nothing to alleviate his fear. All the magic in the world would not take away his fear of what he had to face once he crossed that line.
Her.
His beautiful, courageous little Belle. Of all the monster he had faced, all the evil he had seen, nothing terrified him like his wife did at that moment. She was his one shot at a happy ending. And because of his stupidity, of his greed, he would probably never know what a happy ending felt like.
Rumplestiltskin closed his eyes as his mind replayed that night six weeks ago. The night she had kicked him out of the town, and out of her life. The night when he lost everything, when his wife told him she could see nothing inside him but a beast. Belle, who could see the good in anyone, saw him as nothing but a monster. She was always so loving, so forgiving, which made her actions that night hurt so much more. Knowing that he had driven her to a point where she could not forgive him, knowing that he had broken her so much that she lost all the hope she had in him, had tortured him for the past six weeks. But the most painful thing was knowing that she doubted his love for her. She thought his powers meant more to him than she did. The moment she had said that was the moment he realized he had failed her.
He had let the queens of darkness believe that the reason he wanted to return to Storybrooke was to get his revenge, and then together they could find the author and finally get their happy endings. But Rumplestiltskin knew the only way he could possibly get his happy ending, and he didn’t need the author to do it. He just needed to cross the damn line and find his wife.
There were endless doubts running through his mind. What if she can never forgive me? What if she has moved on? What if she doesn’t love me anymore? The image of his wife banishing him entered his mind again. And through the anger and the tears, she was still so beautiful. She had been brave enough to confront the beast that night. He had to be brave enough to become the man she deserved.
Slowly, Rumplestiltskin put one foot over the town line, and then the other. The moment he did so he felt his powers surge back to life inside him. He released the breath he had been holding, and with the flick of his wrist, he went from looking like a homeless man to the powerful Mr. Gold that Storybrooke knew him to be. He let his cane fall to the ground, no longer needing its support to stand. For a few moments he just stood there, savouring the feeling of magic running through his veins. Then he set out to find his Belle.
As he stood at the front door of the house they shared, all his doubts and fears sprang to life again. He quickly blocked them out and entered the house, using magic to unlock the door. Inside, the house felt cold and unwelcoming. He called out to his wife a couple of times before realizing the house was empty. It is the middle of the day, perhaps she’s working. No reason that her life shouldn’t continue on as normal. He walked into the kitchen and noticed two coffee cups sitting in the sink. His heart sank at the sight. She did find someone. As he picked up one of the cups and noticed the dried stain on the bottom, he thought that it might have been the cup he had used to drink his coffee the last morning he had spent in the house. And if he remembered correctly, the other cup was the one Belle had used that same morning. That’s impossible he thought as he place the cup back in the sink. There was no way Belle would have left dirty dishes in the sink for that length of time. Unless Belle isn’t living in the house. He went upstairs to their bedroom.
As he entered the room, so many memories flooded his mind that he had to close his eyes to keep the tears from falling. Memories of nights spent holding his wife, watching her while she slept peacefully. Memories of waking up to find she had fallen asleep while reading, book still open on her lap. He shook his head in an attempt to stop the painful assault, and went to the closet where Belle kept most of her clothes. Throwing the doors open, he found most of the clothes were gone. She’s gone. He felt so dizzy at the thought he had to sit on the bed to balance himself. Then he remembered she had packed for their trip to New York. And knowing Belle, she probably packed so much of her wardrobe, she couldn’t get her suitcase closed by the time that she was done. That’s why her closet is empty. She didn’t get time to unpack yet. It doesn’t mean she isn’t living here. His eyes scanned the room for some proof that his wife had been there recently. When he looked at the table beside the bed, he noticed a book was left there. The same book that Belle had been reading the last night they spent together. Judging by the layer of dust on the cover, the book hadn’t been touched since then. Panic set in as he realized Belle hadn’t been staying in their home. Where is she? Has something happened to her? I should have been here to protect her.
In the next second Rumple found himself outside of the library. She must be at work he tried to reassure himself. When he walked closer to the door, he noticed a handwritten sign in the window. It stated that the library was closed until further notice. Belle, where the hell are you?
There was one other place where Belle might be staying. His shop. Please be there, Belle. Please be safe. With the snap of his fingers, he appeared at the front door of his antique shop in a cloud of red smoke. He tried the door, but found it locked. Once again, he used magic to unlock the door and then entered the building. Once inside he knew he was the first person to step inside in the last six weeks. A layer of dust covered everything inside the shop. Even as he walked to the back of his shop, he already knew he would find no sign that his wife had been there. This knowledge didn’t stop the feeling of panic that overcame him when his fear was confirmed. He sank onto the bed, a million different scenarios running through his mind. What if she left Storybrooke and decided to see the world without me? How will I ever find her? What if some villain had come to town since I left and she was hurt? Or dead?
He didn’t know how long he was sat there, but when he looked out the window, he noticed it was dark outside. When he heard the ring of the shop’s bell, he leapt to his feet, hope filling him with the thought that his wife had come to him. All his hope died instantly the moment he heard Emma Swan’s voice.
“Gold? Where are you? I know you’re in here, I got multiple calls from people who saw you come in.”
Nosey bastards. With a look of pure annoyance, Rumple left the privacy of the shop’s back room to face the sheriff. The blonde stood in the entrance of his shop, her gun drawn and ready to shoot. His annoyance grew. “Is that really necessary, dearie?”
“I’m not taking any chances. I know what you were going to do. Killian told me everything.”
The laugh that escaped his throat was harsh and dripped with sarcasm. “Did he now? So, he told you that he was the one that approached me first? That he tried to blackmail me? That he threatened to crush my wife’s heart?”
For a second doubt crossed Emma’s features. But just as quickly it disappeared. “I don’t believe you.”
“And I don’t really care. Just tell me, dearie, what exactly are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same thing. Belle commanded you to leave Storybrooke.”
As if I need a reminder. He looked away, determine not to reveal how much pain hearing those words caused. “And leave I did.” He looked at Emma again. “And with the help of some associates, I broke the Snow Queen’s curse, and now I’m here. Now that I answered your question, answer mine. What are you doing in my shop?”
“I’m here to make sure you don’t attempt to get your revenge.”
Rumple laughed again. “I can assure you, dearie, I’m not going to waste my time seeking revenge on your boyfriend.”
“Hook isn’t the one I’m worried about. He wasn’t the one who stopped you from freeing yourself from your dagger, Belle was.”
The first thing Rumple felt at her words was relief. If Emma was here to protect Belle, then Belle was alive. And she was probably still in Storybrooke. When he thought about what Emma had said a second time, he was filled with disbelief and rage. “You really think I would try to get revenge on my wife?”
Despite his obvious anger, Emma stood her ground. “Why not? You’ve tried to kill anyone who has got in your way in the past.”
“I could never harm Belle!” His yell silenced the sheriff. He was now trembling with anger.
It took a few moments for Emma to recover. Finally she said “I don’t trust you.”
“Well, why don’t you use your so called superpower and see that I’m telling the truth.” After a few minutes of studying him, Emma lower her weapon, convinced he would not try to harm his wife. “Thank you,” Rumple said through clenched teeth, although it was obvious he felt no gratitude. “Now, dearie, either tell me where my wife is, or get the hell out of my shop.”
“No. This is what’s going to happen. You’re going to stay right here. I’ll tell Belle where to find you, and if she wants to talk, she’ll come to you. If she doesn’t, you’re going to stay the hell away from her.”
He wanted to refuse. Tell Emma to go to hell and go find Belle himself. Instead he grumbled “fine,” knowing this was his best shot at talking to his wife.
Without another word, Emma turned around and left the shop, slamming the door behind her. Once she was gone, Rumple’s anxiety returned. It’ll be fine he tried to convince himself. Just stick with the plan and it will be fine. I just need to talk to Belle. He took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. But what if she doesn’t come…