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We were both young when I first saw you. I close my eyes and the flashback starts I’m standing there, on a balcony in summer air. See the lights, see the party the ---
Ok I’m gonna stop there but surely the both of us were young when we first met each other.
I’m gonna start this by saying
I didn’t. I didn’t like you at first because what is a person like you doing here in the first place? But as time passed by, I got comfortable with you and that is when everything truly started.
I knew that I liked you but gosh I didn’t want to admit it to myself because should I really be having such complicated feelings towards someone at such a young age?
So yeah, instead of admitting to myself that I have feelings for you, I kept it in a box, locked it, threw the key, buried it deep down and told myself these feelings will fade away with time.
And of course it didn’t. It seems like the universe wanted to play with me because suddenly we grew even closer with each other and oh gosh you kept on hinting to me that you liked me. You actually liked me back but since I’m a fool, I ignored it. Even though it was such an obvious sign already I still ignored it.
One day a mutual friend of us told me that you liked me. I, who ignored and chose to stay oblivious to your advancements, acted like I didn’t know and pretended to be shock.
But you know, I’m lying to myself if I said that my heart didn’t beat fast when I heard that confirmation… huh maybe that was what I wanted all along, a confirmation. I wanted to make sure you weren’t making fun of me. So at that time I allowed myself to be happy because that was a sign that you looked at me that way I looked at you.
But then I heard that you like someone else already and that someone liked you back.
When I went home that day, I changed my clothes, watched TV, ate dinner, did my night routine and went to bed.
Then it hit me, you like someone else already…you like someone else already…and I cried.
I cried so hard because that is so cruel. How did you even do that? How did you even move on so fast?
While calming down I realized that it wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t anyone’s fault, it was mine. Even though I knew that you like me I chose to ignore your hints and advancements and still continued to treat you as a friend.
I told myself that I didn’t want to make a fool out of myself but there was no need for that. I already did make a fool out of myself the moment I didn’t want to admit to myself that I had feelings for you.