Archive of Our Own

Steve Randle didn’t think that Ponyboy Curtis leaving for college would have been as big of a deal as it was. Mattered as much as it did. But it didn’t take too long to realize that his leaving had changed nearly everything.

He had barely even managed to show up to the kids going away party. He didn’t remember it much but he figured the best he gave him was a pat on the back and a small congratulations. They were never really close. And now Ponyboy was as far away as he could be.

But not for too much longer anyway, which again Steve really paid no mind to, but it was summer and Ponyboy was coming home.

Steve only really knew because it was all Soda and Darry were talking about the entire week leading up to his arrival, and even then he thought they were making too big of a deal out of everything. Decorating the house with lame homemade streamers and the same old cheap chocolate cake.

It just made sense for Pony to come home for the entire summer, that way neither Darry or Pony had to completely empty their pockets for plane tickets every month. Still, none of it really mattered one bit to Steve.

Darry picked up Pony from the airport and left the rest of the gang to get the house ready, not that Pony would care much about how anything looked besides his room.

“You think he’s gonna be taller than me?” Soda groaned and threw his hand of cards at the table.

During the year that Pony had been away, he had made the effort of calling nearly once every week. Usually spending around an hour on the phone. And although Steve never talked to him for more than thirty seconds, even he could tell that a lot had changed about the kid.

“I think so. Sounds like he’s gone all ‘breakfast at Tiffany’s’, too” Two laughed. Still, Steve could hardly imagine it.

“Ponyboy Curtis? With pearl necklaces and designer sunglasses? That’ll be the day” Steve smirked and laid his cards on the table. Three aces.

“That’ll be today, Steve” Two corrected and shoved two cigarettes over the table in Steve’s direction, “you’ll see.”

It only took another half an hour before the familiar purr of Darry’s truck engine was coming back down the street and was stopping right back in front of his house.

Soda and Two leaped up from the kitchen and ran outside, Steve following slowly behind. When he got to the door he could hardly see anything but three bodies all collapsed over each other on the front porch, making him stifle a laugh.

Eventually Soda and Two rolled off and offered a hand out to help Ponyboy up to his feet, and all Steve could do was stare. Because he was definitely taller than Soda, for one thing.

His hair had gone from the old auburn brown that used to dance so brightly in the sun to a different, lighter shade of brown, he was barely able to pick up on Pony’s pierced ears from the way he had it styled, not greased. Steve noticed instantly the loose fitting blue jeans, ones he’d never seen on one of them before, and the light brown blazer jacket that hung off him three sizes too big. Covering up his white tank top which had a picture of someone who looked to be some old white guy on it.

“Who’s that” Steve asked, pointing a finger at Pony’s shirt.

“Issac Newton” Pony grinned and looked from down at his shirt back up to Steve, “you’re not even gonna greet me?”

Steve couldn’t help but smile and walked down the steps, pulling Pony into a big hug. It felt weird to hug him, especially considering the circumstances and the fact he had never really had a point of doing it before, “welcome home, Ponyboy.”

“Thanks, Steve. Sure you didn’t miss me too terribly though” Pony patted Steve on the arm and walked right past him towards the front door. Of course, he was taller than him too.

“You guys really didn’t have to do all this” Pony laughed in amusement once everyone had followed him back inside.

“Of course we did little buddy, we missed the crud out of you” Darry put Pony in a headlock and started messing with his hair, Pony might’ve grown up, but there was still no besting Darry, “you look different.”

He let Pony go, “not too different”, he defended and tried to fix her hair before it was ruined once again by Soda, making Steve laugh.

“You look very different. All grown up and sophisticated like” Soda teased, “like one of those fancy actors on the red carpet.”

Ponyboy grinned and fixed his hair once more, “Oh hush, Soda, I do not.”

The rest of the night was filled with various jokes from the gang and even more stories from Ponyboy, a lot which were rather interesting, particularly to Steve. He had never really thought Pony could grow up this much, nor did he take the time to notice it before he left.

Of course he noticed how Pony had grown into his track uniform and how his art had gotten him into a small display at the school, the kid was definitely going places. But he had never really noticed exactly how much had changed.

Growing up Ponyboy was just the kid that was always there. Nothing much really more than Steve’s best friend's little brother. And now he was practicing being forced to realize that the narrative he had in his head for as long as he knew the kid, it just wasn’t true anymore. Ponyboy had been the first one of them to actually go to college. To go out of state. To grow up. He was the least like a kid than all of them.

“You look like fucking Uma Thurman in that coat” Steve chuckled and pinched at the elbow of Pony’s too large blazer.

Pony laughed and swatted Steve’s hand away, “thank you.”

It wasn’t really a compliment, at least Steve thought it wasn’t, he didn’t mean it that way. And he could tell Pony knew that by the coy smile on his face. He knew how to handle Steve’s jabs now, that sure was something that had changed as well.

“Where’d you get that thing anyway?” Darry asked, raising a suspicious eyebrow.

“Relax” Pony rolled his eyes, “it’s not what you think.”

“What does he think?” Soda spoke up, confused. And Steve was glad he had said something, because he was confused as well.

“Darry wants to know if I have a boyfriend” Pony stated and refused to move his eyes from Darry’s. Like some challenge that only the two of them understood. At least that hadn’t changed. Except, now Pony seemed to be winning.

“Oh” Soda replied, “do you?”

Everyone knew that while Pony was pretty popular among the girls, he never really cared about that at all. It was pretty blatantly obvious when Curly Shepard came into the picture and was a better ‘friend’ than Soda and any of his girls.

“I don’t” Pony answered and drummed his fingers against his leg, picking up on the slight tension that had entered the room.

“Did you?” Darry asked again, prying.

Pony bit back a smile before he answered, “not exactly.”

Something about his answer Darry didn’t really like because he was now shifting in his chair and avoiding eye contact with anyone, especially Ponyboy. Steve was almost certain Pony hadn’t mentioned any of this on his weekly phone calls.

“Come on, Dar, the kids in college” Two defended and threw his arm around Ponyboy’s shoulders.

“Exactly, which is why he should be focused” Darry pointed a strict finger at Pony’s chest, like he was the only one who didn’t realize that Pony was now almost twenty.

“Good thing it’s summer then, huh?” Pony spoke almost sourly. But Steve figured that if he was in Pony’s place, he would be a bit sour too.

Nothing much was said for the next hour or so, the awkward silence and tension lingered in the air until Two Bit excused himself to go home, giving Pony a hug and telling him once more that it was nice to see him again.

After Two had left, Pony pulled Darry into the other room away from Soda and Steve, who exchanged worried glances as neither of them could make out the whispers.

The whispering seemed to stop for a second, “Steve?”

‘The fuck did I do?’ Steve mouthed to Soda who shrugged his shoulders and waved him to the kitchen.

Steve walked carefully over to the kitchen to see Pony leaning up against the counter, looking frustrated and almost desperate. While Darry just rubbed his temples in exhaustion, Pony had only been home a few hours and Darry was already looking ten years older. Hell, you could practically see the hairs turning grey, “Steve, can he stay at your place tonight?”

Steve was about to ask why but he didn’t want to deal with either Pony or Darry’s response. He figured it would be best to just answer and not ask any questions.

“Uhh, sure?”

And with that Pony looked like he had just had the weight of the world lifted off of his shoulders. Sure Steve knew the two of them never really saw eye to eye, but he wasn’t aware it was still this relevant.

“Thanks Steve” Pony smiled and walked out of the kitchen.

Before Steve got a chance to ask Darry what was wrong or what had happened, he was already heading towards his room. Jeez, Steve thought.

He walked back in the living room to see Pony hugging Soda goodbye and telling him he would see him again tomorrow. Soda smiled but Steve could tell he was hurt, he was always hurt when Darry and Pony didn’t get along. And Steve knew he was hoping they would now that they’d spend a year apart, so he understood Soda’s disappointment. But he never really thought about how Pony felt.

When the two of them heard the front door shut behind them, Steve finally spoke up, “what was that about?”

“Just didn’t feel like staying there tonight. That’s all” Pony whispered coldly and threw himself into the passenger seat of Steve’s car.

“Fair enough.”

The drive was as awkward and quiet as both of them had expected it to be.

Once Steve turned eighteen, he had followed Dally’s advice and rented out a room above Buck’s bar too. The only place cheap enough where he found support himself on just the job at the DX alone. And it wasn’t really half bad at all. It was nice to finally be away from his dad, who had left town pretty soon after Steve moved out.

Steve hadn’t heard from him since, not that he cared or wanted to. It was just hard sometimes to think the only blood family he had was now completely gone. It was just him and the gang now, like it had always been.

He parked in front of Buck’s and looked over at Ponyboy, who might as well have already been asleep, he definitely looked it, “you alright?”

Ponyboy sighed, “I just don’t know if I can do a whole summer of this.”

“Of what?” Steve asked, confused.

“Hiding.”

Steve understood exactly what he meant. He’d been doing it his whole life. Something he guessed that him and Pony had in common now. So he just nodded.

“Wanna go upstairs and watch a movie or something?” Steve wasn’t really sure what he could say to make Pony feel more comfortable. He didn’t know what was happening in the slightest, but he knew he didn’t want Pony to have to hide around him.

“Oh god, yes please” Pony laughed and climbed out of the car, leaving Steve to follow.

Steve took out his key and opened his front door for Ponyboy, holding it open for him too, like the situation was anything but abnormal.

“You sleep on the couch. Don’t want another repeat of the camping trip” Steve chuckled and waved over at his crappy brown couch that couldn’t have cost more than twenty bucks.

“What?” Pony asked, kicking off his shoes like he was already at home.

“Now I know you didn’t forget. Soda wouldn’t let you” Steve grinned and watched as Pony took off his coat and sat back on the couch, making Steve nearly have to remind himself how exactly they had gotten there, “neither would anyone else.”

Pony shifted uncomfortably, “yeah, well I’d rather forget, okay?”

“Okay” Steve’s cocky smile stayed plastered on his face, “well I’m just saying, don’t let it happen again.”

“Trust me,” Ponyboy fake smiled, “it won’t. But then again, I can’t control what I do when I’m asleep.”

He was talking about the time the whole gang went camping about a year or two after Mr and Mrs Curtis died. There weren’t enough tents so Pony ended up in one with Soda and Steve. Steve made a big deal about it, like he always did, but eventually gave in. Steve wouldn’t have believed the next part if he didn’t wake up to it himself. But apparently at some point in the night Soda got up and out of the tent to use the bathroom, and when he came back, Pony was wrapped around Steve like his life depended on it. Neither of them heard the end of it for months, no matter how many times Steve made it clear that if Soda wasn’t there, he would’ve knocked Pony out. Or something.

“I say you can” Steve kicked off his shoes and walked over to join Pony on the couch, “Whatcha wanna watch?”

“What’s on?”

Steve grabbed the remote and began to flick through the very few channels he got. He tried to pay his cable bill as much as he could afford considering how fucking boring it got living alone. So he was glad when he got a three percent raise at the DX last week.

“Stop!” Pony shouted and unconsciously threw his hand over at Steve’s, “I like this movie!”

Steve groaned and looked back at the tv to see what movie he was talking about.

Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Funny.

“You like shit like this? Ain't this stuff for girls?” Steve asked but still set the remote down on the table in front of them anyway.

“Yes I like this stuff. And no it ain’t for girls. I mean, look at Audrey Hepburn, you think guys don’t see this movie just for her?” Pony smirked.

“Certainly not guys like you” Steve shot back without a second of thinking, and Pony’s jaw nearly dropped.

“Why, Steve, whatever do you mean?” Pony played dumb and let the corners of his mouth twitch further up into a smile.

“I ain’t mean it like that” Steve growled and looked back towards the tv, “I ain’t watching the movie for her either. In that way, I mean.”

Steve looked over at Pony through the corner of his eye, wanting to gage any sort of reaction. But there wasn’t any at all.

“Who are you watching it for then?” Pony turned to look at Steve.

“You” Steve shrugged and decided to add on after seeing the look on Ponyboy’s face, “I mean. It’s your first day back, it would be rude of me not to.”

“Since when do you care about my feelings?” Pony laughed.

“Since forever.”

“Likely story, I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“I’m serious, Ponyboy. I’ve always cared about your feelings.”

Pony scoffed, “sure got a funny way of showing it.”

“You got yours, I got mine” Steve smiled proudly and elbowed Pony in the side, “I show my love through clever words, you show yours by wrapping yourself around me like a koala bear in the middle of the night.”

“A koala bear?”

“Yeah. I remember cause of that dumb nature shit you used to make us all watch in the mornings. You’re like a koala bear. Clingy and shit.”

“I ain’t clingy” Pony crossed his arms.

“I’ll see it when I believe it.”

Pony stopped arguing after that and let himself lean back onto Steve’s arm, giving him a teasing smirk before turning his full attention back to the tv.

After only a few minutes, Steve started to get into the movie. It was surprisingly good and funny. And watching it with Ponyboy wasn’t half bad either, considering the kid always hated watching movies with other people. So maybe he was special. Or something.

“The hell is the cats nam-“ Steve turned to ask him a question but stopped himself when he saw Pony’s eyes were shut and his chest was rising and falling to the sounds of his light breath.

“He fucking did it again” Steve laughed quietly to himself. Except this time he didn’t mind it that much. He didn’t really mind it at all. The only thing remotely bothering him was his arm beginning to tingle so with a careful sigh he readjusted ever so slightly in order to not wake Pony up. He didn’t know why he was trying so hard, but when Pony’s head fell onto Steve’s chest and his hair tickled Steve’s neck, he gave up on trying to find an explanation.

And Steve let him stay like that all night. Sleeping there on his chest, eyes fluttered shut and arms wrapped tightly around his chest. Like a koala bear. Yeah, just like a koala bear, thought Steve. And he fell asleep too.

~

Steve woke up with an uncomfortable knot in his neck and a weight off his chest. He instantly sat up and looked around for Ponyboy.

He spotted him in the middle of Steve’s kitchen with a frying pan and looking like he had just woken up from the sleep of his life. Hair all messed up and wearing the same thing as last night. Steve made a mental note to offer him a change of clothes later.

“Whatcha doing?” Steve asked, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes and stretching out his arms.

Pony grinned and looked over at Steve on the couch, “making breakfast. Boy, you do sleep awful heavy.”

“Says you” Steve snorted, “you fell asleep on my arm before the movie even finished.”

“Did you even try to wake me up?” Pony challenged and poured two plates of eggs out. Scrambled, Steve’s favorite. Everyone’s favorite, really.

Steve rolled his eyes, it was too early in the morning for mind games and he had to get to work in thirty minutes, “figured you had a long day. Would’ve been rude to wake you.”

“Again” Pony walked the plates over to the sorry excuse of a table in the middle of Steve’s kitchen, “since when do you care.”

“Since you made me breakfast” Steve grinned cheekily and finally pushed himself off of the couch to join Pony at the table, pulling up a small chair he usually kept the bills and other important documents on.

“Would’ve been rude not to” Pony smiled back and flicked the lid of the hot sauce and began to dump half the bottle on his eggs.

Steve would’ve been mad at the waste if he didn’t find it so oddly amusing, “you still drench everything in that stuff?”

Pony stirred it around on his plate, “it’s good.”

“Sure it is, no food should ever be that orange.”

“Don’t knock it till ya try it.”

“And give myself a heart attack? No thanks, I’d like to see my next birthday.”

Pony laughed at that and shoveled a forkful of the bright orange eggs into his mouth, making sure to smile obnoxiously wide just to get further under Steve’s skin.

“I see you still eat like a pig too” Steve laughed, finding comfort in the fact that not everything had changed about the kid. Even though the things that had changed, Steve was definitely enjoying.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about” Pony spoke with his mouth open and played innocent again.

Steve couldn’t help but smile to himself as he ate. Because maybe Ponyboy wasn’t that bad at all.

He even offered to do the dishes after the two of them had finished and carried their plates to the sink, and hell if Steve wasn’t gonna take him up on that offer.

“You got work today?” Pony asked from the kitchen, putting the last glass into the other side of the sink and turning around to watch Steve rummaging through his drawers.

“Yeah, you need a ride somewhere first? Change of clothes?” Steve looked Pony up and down.

Ponyboy laughed lightly, “I’m good. How bout I go to work with you and Soda? Like the good old days.”

In the past Steve used to hate when Ponyboy would hang around the DX. It’s not like he got in the way or anything. He didn’t even make a sound. Most of the time he just sat there and did his homework, which made Steve feel even more like an asshole for being mad over the mere existence of the kid. He guessed he always had been. But not now, not anymore.

“Sure thing” Steve shrugged, “you don’t think you’ll get bored?”

“Watching you sweat over the hood of a car could never bore me, Stevie” Pony winked, sending the hairs on the back of Steve’s neck straight up, and walking to the bathroom. The kid had balls now, that was for sure.

Steve changed while he waited for Ponyboy to come back out of his bathroom. He couldn’t help but look over at Pony’s coat that was still on his couch and wonder what it would be like to try it on. He almost got up the nerve to reach for it when the bathroom door opened and Pony came out.

“Did you use my hair grease?” Steve observed, noticing how Pony’s hair was slightly slicked back and wet.

Pony grabbed his coat and threw it on, “yeah, hope that’s okay. Haven’t done my hair in a while. Don’t know. I like it.”

Steve nodded. He didn’t know how to tell Pony that he liked his hair just fine without it. Not that he looked bad at all. He looked like he fit right in again, from the shoulders up that was. He looked too pretty for Tulsa.

“And I like your hair like that too, Steve” Pony continued.

“Just cause you’ve been hogging the bathroom and I ain’t had time to do it” Steve growled and looked in the small dusty mirror. Trying to make sure his curls fell in the right places.

“Don’t” Pony laughed, “I said I like it like that.”

“Why would I listen to you?” Steve looked over at Pony then back to the mirror, he supposed he looked just fine. Although he never was one to like whatever way he looked. Someone always had something to complain about.

“Cause I’m right” Pony rolled his eyes, “come on.”

Pony’s hand almost felt natural in Steve’s, even if what he was doing was dragging Steve out the apartment and now the stairs to where he car was parked. But he wasn’t gonna admit that.

The sun was shining and it was pretty hot out for the start of summer, hot enough that Pony immediately shrugged off his jacket in Steve’s car and stuck almost his whole body out the window on the short ride. Just like he used to do when they were kids and his dad would drive them to school in the mornings. It reminded him of how when Steve got old enough how he would drive them back home. Sometimes just the two of them after Soda dropped out. Or Johnny didn’t show. Or Two went home with the substitute teacher.

He didn’t remember much about those car rides. They never talked much. Sometimes Pony would go on and on about whatever book they were reading in English. Or ask Steve questions about Soda and the DX. Sure he was annoying, but he wasn’t that bad. Certainly wasn’t as bad now as he remembered Pony to be.

“How come you talk less?” Steve turned down the radio and stole a glance over to Ponyboy.

“Don’t know. Guess I just got less to say” Pony answered, not very convincingly.

“I doubt that” Steve chuckled.

“You act like you didn’t want to shut me up the second I even opened my mouth” Pony stated matter of factly and kept his gaze out the window.

“Yeah well I was an asshole. I ain’t one now” Steve confessed, knowing Pony was right and there wasn't really anyway to debate it.

“I know” Pony tapped his hand out the window, “I can tell.”

Steve pulled up at the DX and parked in the back. Ever since he had started living on his own he made it a point to himself to never be late. He knew Buck liked him enough, but he still couldn’t afford to get canned.

“Where’s Soda?” Pony asked as the two of them got out of the car and made their way to the front of the store, Steve unlocking it and letting them inside.

“An hour late, probably.”

Steve got the store ready as Pony mindlessly thumbed through the magazines they kept stalked by the counter, he had already looked bored by the time the door jingled open and a man walked in. He looked like fucking Chalino Sanchez. That was the best way Steve could describe him.

“Hey there” he smiled anyway, “how can I help ya?”

He was used to the usual customers. The same girls that had been coming in to gawk at Soda for five years now and the same guys that always got their paint messed up in some drag race.

“Just an oil change” the man replied and looked over at Ponyboy, who hadn’t even noticed the man. But the man had certainly noticed him.

Steve nodded and motioned for the man to sit down in one of the small chairs that lined the edge of the room, making his way outside and to get to work on the man's car. Something about him didn’t like the way he was looking at Ponyboy. But he reminded himself that Pony wasn’t a kid no more and was perfectly fine to take care of himself.

Still, he couldn’t help himself but sneak looks back at DX and through the window. The man was now leaning up against the counter and getting awful close to Ponyboy. And Steve made a point then to finish up as fast as possible. It didn’t take too long but long enough to the point his hands were slipping up all over the place and he was almost sure he would have to give the guy some price off.

Steve wiped his hands on a stained white rag thrown over his shoulder and walked as quickly as he could towards the store again. He couldn’t make out too much of the last bits of their conversation, only something being said about carpets and drapes, because the guy shut his trap as soon as Steve walked back in.

Steve walked over without saying a word and began to ring the man up, noticing the way he snuck glances over at Ponyboy any chance he got. Hell, they both were.

The man left the store and sped off in his car, leaving a cloud of dust in his wake.

“Do you know that guy?” Steve asked once his car was completely out of view.

“No” Pony shrugged, “seemed nice enough.”

Steve looked over to where Pony was sitting, reading some girly magazine about ten steps on finding the perfect guy.

“How nice?”

“Number three nice” Pony answered, tossing the magazine to Steve then sitting back in his chair, crossing his legs and smiling like he was the slyest person alive.

Steve raised an eyebrow at Pony before looking down at a magazine.

‘James Dean, Speed Queen’.

“You’re kidding me, right? That guy was no James Dean. He was more like- what’s that guys name? The ugly one with a lisp. You know movies” Steve spoke as he read through the rest of the article. It all sounded like some propaganda bull shit.

Pony laughed and caught the magazine as it was tossed back, “Steve, I have no fucking clue what you’re talking about, that ain’t no movie I’ve ever seen.”

Steve let out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand through his hair, feeling extremely out of place and near uncomfortable, the only thing grounding him being the way Pony laughed and how smiled at him, and only him.

“Well it’s one I have and I hated that guy. He was a real prick” Steve grunted and reminded himself to take a better look at that magazine later.

“And you aren’t?” Pony challenged, a shit eating grin resting on his face.

“Yeah, I am” Steve smirked, “I’m just better at it.”

Pony smiled again.

And that wasn’t the first time that happened. In fact, almost the same exact thing continued to happen for the next two weeks. Apparently unbeknownst to him, Pony had become the DX’s new eye candy, even when Soda was there. Which meant Steve had to watch the same thing all over again. A bad rerun of his least favorite show.

But something in Steve was soothed whenever his shift would end and he was able to get in his car and drive back to his place, his turn to sneak looks at Pony the whole time. It made him feel possessive as hell, and almost gross, but when Pony would lean up against his shoulder or rest his head on Steve’s chest, that feeling almost completely disappeared. That feeling that made him want to break any moral code he had left.

“Whatcha thinking bout, Steve” Pony would ask, to late at night to raise his voice anything above a whisper.

The answer was always the same. ‘You, I’m thinking about you’. But he couldn’t say that. Not yet.

“Nothing.”

~

Steve’s phone rang throughout his whole apartment, scaring him right out of his sleep.

“Jesus Christ, who is it?” Steve groaned into the phone as he pressed it to his ear.

“Steve? Sorry, it’s Ponyboy” Steve heard the voice from the other end speak up, “I’m sorry if I woke you up.”

Steve sighed and looked over at the clock, nearly four in the morning, “it’s okay, Pony. Are you alright?”

“Yeah yeah, I’m fine. Can you come get me? If not I can ask Soda or Two or-“ Pony rambled on, clear he was in some kind of distress.

“I can come get ya” Steve interrupted, “where are you?”

Steve heard nothing for a few seconds before Pony spoke up again, “17th street bar.”

“What’re you doing at a bar at four in the morning?” Steve asked and pulled his coat and shoes on, holding his phone to his ear by his shoulder, only a bit frustrated.

There was a small silence, “I went on a date and it seems like he left without me.”

“Oh” Steve sighed into the phone, “I’ll see you in ten, okay?”

“Alright, thanks Steve.”

Pony couldn’t barely hear Steve gumble out a ‘fucking idiot’ before the phone line kicked and Steve had hung up.

Still, Steve was in his car in less than a minute and heading towards the bar Pony said he was at. He didn’t know if he should feel bad for Pony or be frustrated at him for being so careless. That’s all he seemed to be doing these past three weeks, careless.

It didn’t take too long for Steve to pull up in front of the bar and see Pony leaning up against the telephone booth he used to call him, shivering and arms wrapped around himself as he walked to the car and got in.

“Hey” Steve smirked and looked over at Ponyboy, the night wasn’t too cold for the start of summer, but it was cold enough to where of course Pony was going to be cold, even if he didn’t admit it.

“You don’t need to say anything,” Pony groaned and buckled his seatbelt, “I know it’s dumb.”

Steve smiled and began to back out of the parking lot, “I was just waiting for you to say thank you, that’s all.”

“Thank you, Steve.”

“You’re welcome.”

A couple minutes went by of just the soft music on the radio and Steve debating in his head if he should speak up again. He didn’t wanna lecture Pony, not when he knew he was almost the only place away from Darry. He didn’t know why he cared so much in the first place.

“You know, Pony, all this rebellious shit doesn’t seem to be getting anyone’s attention but mine” Steve smirked, “and by that I mean me having to pick you up from bars just hours before sunrise.”

“I said I was sorry, okay?” Pony growled and ran a hand through his hair, “I’m just sick of everyone still treating me like a kid. Everyone but you.”

Steve sighed with a smile, “ain’t that ironic, huh?”

“Aint it” Pony deadpanned.

“I’m just saying, Pony, that you might as well stop with all this cause the only one it’s bothering is me.”

“I said I was sorry.”

“I heard you. And I’m saying that these random dates are gonna do shit. Trust me, I was the master at pissing off my old man.”

“Well then what’da suggest?” Pony taunted.

“I don’t know. How bout you actually date someone, that’ll do more than just random one night stands” Steve suggested, feeling nothing as the words came out.

Pony looked at his hands in his lap, “I haven’t really dated anyone in a while, Steve.” It wasn’t completely a lie. He had gone out on a few dates here and there in college, but nothing that really lasted more than a month. He only really remembered most of their names in stressed out shouts and further stretched out vowels.

“Shit, kid, me too. Don’t mean you still can’t.”

“Then why don’t you do it?” Pony huffed out as Steve parked the car.

“What?” Steve turned to look over at Ponyboy, trying to gage some reaction of what he meant.

“Why don’t you date me then?” Pony asked again, this time sounding a bit more sure of himself.

“Ponyboy-“

“I don’t mean for real” Pony chuckled, “I mean like they do in the movies.”

Steve must’ve still looked beyond confused because Pony continued, “I mean like when the girl asks the guy to be her fake date to the prom to make the guy she really likes jealous. Except there is no other guy, there is no prom, and it’s you and me.”

“Pony, that’s fucked” Steve laughed, “you just wanna use me to make Darry mad?”

“Not just that, Steve, jeez I’m not five” Pony rolled his eyes, “it’ll help us both. Plus, it’ll be fun.”

“Fun? Ponyboy, I’m not looking to get killed before I get a real boyfriend” Steve warned, but he couldn’t help himself but to entertain the idea.

Pony smiled, like somehow Steve had unknowingly complimented him again.

“What would I even get out of this?” Steve began to give in, not even believing himself when he wanted to say that he wasn’t the slightest but intrigued.

“Life experience, that and a fun summer? Life’s boring, Steve, make it fun” Pony laughed and got out of the car, walking towards the stairs that led up to Steve’s place once again. And Steve had to admit, he made a good point. Besides, what’s the worst thing that could happen?

Steve unlocked the door and Pony went straight for his fridge, grabbing a glass of water and chugging it as fast as he could.

“What would happen if I said yes. How would we go about this?” Steve asked, sitting down on the couch and watching Pony’s every move.

Pony shrugged, “like any other relationship. Except no pressure, no commitment, no guidelines, or whatever.”

“You outta think we should come up with some rules for this? Boundaries I mean? That way I don’t accidentally end up walking down the aisle to you in a cheap wedding dress” Steve teased with just a small fraction of sincerity.

“Assuming I’m the one in the dress?” Pony laughed and threw a pencil he had picked up from the counter lightly at Steve’s chest.

“Fine” Steve signed dramatically, “we can both wear dresses. I think you’d look rather good.”

“I think you’d look awful” Pony hunched over in laughter at the mere thought of it, “god, could you imagine?” he managed to get out between gasps for air.

“Laugh it up all you want” Steve tried to hide his smile, “not my fault you look like the front page of teen beat magazine.”

Ponyboys laughter began to ease up, “is that supposed to be an insult?”

“No, I’m just saying.”

There was a short silence and Steve almost wished that he could make Pony laugh again that hard. Cause it sure was a sight to see. Him all red and teary eyed, but not in a bad way. Steve decided that he liked Ponyboy's laugh, and he most of all liked causing it.

“Alright, I got a rule” Pony shrugged and grabbed the paper, popping the pens cap off and carefully writing down one single sentence. Two words.

No rules.

Steve smiled down at the one lined list then looked back at Ponyboy, “that seems a little dangerous, no?”

“You scared?” Pony smirked, folding up the paper and placing it in the palm of his hand, outstretching his arm towards Steve, “cause I’m not.”

“Shit” Steve cursed with a laugh and shook Pony’s hand, long and hard, “I ain’t scared either.”

“Good, then it’s settled” Pony smiled, “is it too soon to call you my boyfriend?”

“Well, we shook on it, didn’t we?”

Ponyboy grinned and leaned back on the chair, “guess I’m sleeping here tonight?”

“Unless you wanna walk home?” Steve replied. He tried to tell himself he didn’t care, but if he really didn’t care, he wouldn't be sitting where he was right then. And he knew it.

Pony pulled out a small thing that looked like some sort of lip gloss one of Steve’s old dates would have used and started to put it on his lips, carefully so that he almost knew exactly what he was doing. Like somehow this disaster of a night was going exactly as he had planned.

“That lip gloss?” Steve asked and leaned over, trying to read the label.

“There’s a difference between chapstick, and lip gloss, Steve” Pony laughed, “see.”

Pony grabbed Steve’s face between his two hands and pulled him chastly to his lips, placing a quick peck of a kiss onto him. Nothing more than a second or two.

Steve pulled away and wiped the chapstick off with his sleeve and looked at Ponyboy, “the hell was that?” he asked and let Pony’s hands fall from his face as he walked away. He just walked away.

“A kiss?” Pony smiled back at Steve and sat down on the couch, “you’re gonna have to get used to that. You look like you’ve seen a ghost”.

And in a way, he had.

“Get used to it?”

“Yeah, since we’re dating and all.”

“We aren’t dating.”

Pony laughed and laid back on the couch so Steve couldn’t see him anymore, “you know what I mean. But if you don’t want me to kiss you, I won’t.”

Steve took a deep breath and turned off the lamp, “I never said that.”

“Good” Pony smiled into the darkness.

Neither of them really got much sleep that night. Just staring up at the ceiling and thinking about everything under the sun. Especially the things the sun had just now shined new shadows on. Ponyboy Curtis and the way he kissed him. The way he held his face in his hands and brought it to his. He didn’t think. Darry was right, the kid didn’t use his head at all.

But if that’s what it looks like when Pony didn’t think, Steve was just fine with that.

~

“Jesus, Pony, are you almost ready?” Steve shouted, knocking again on the bathroom door where Pony had been for the past ten minutes, “what’s the fucking point of this anyway?”

After their decision two nights ago this was the first time they were actually doing anything. And that was because Pony insisted that if they were to ever be believable, they’d have to go out in public with all that couple shit. Which Steve hadn’t really done since Evie, not that this really counted anyway.

“I told you, perfection takes time” Pony called through the door.

Steve butted his head back so it fell against the door, “I think the point of ‘perfection’ is that it comes naturally.”

Just then, the door came flying open to reveal Ponyboy, who had seemingly gone all out. Tight black pants, a yellow muscle tee with a picture of the devil on it, his star of david necklace hanging ironically over it. He looked good. Even his hair was combed ever so perfectly, curls falling over his forehead as he leaned against the door frame.

“Then I guess I’m just as close to perfect as you can get” Pony shrugged and walked towards the door, opening it and waiting for Steve like he was the one taking forever.

Steve rolled his eyes and joined Pony walking out the door, “I’ll say.”

And if the people stumbling in and out of Buck’s bar weren’t already staring, Pony had to make it worse by running down the stairs and dramatically throwing himself on his back on the hood of Steve’s car, tossing an arm over his forehead like it was a hundred degrees.

“What are you doing?” Steve asked, keeping an eye on the passers by as they stared, “are you on something?”

“I’m high on love” Pony theatrically gripped at his chest through his shirt, groaning like he was in some sort of pain, putting on the weirdest one man show Steve had ever seen.

“Get up, you’re embarrassing yourself.”

“Myself? Or am I embarrassing you, Stevie” Pony pouted, looking down and batting his eyelashes up at Steve.

“Forget this” Steve turned around and started back up the stairs, he couldn’t do this today. He was too much.

“Steve” Pony called after him, laughing his ass off like he was the funniest person alive, “Steve, I’m sorry. I’ll stop.”

Steve crossed his arms and turned back around to look at Ponyboy who was now sitting normally on the hood of the car. He hated how much he felt pulled back down the stairs, cursing gravity and whatever other force that had him so compelled to Ponyboy.

“Just get in the car” Steve growled, biting back the smile that threatened him every time he saw Pony.

“Such a gentleman” Ponyboy teased but got in the car next to Steve anyway.

They’d decided that morning that in order to ‘keep up appearances’ they should probably go out on what looked like a real date. Although if you asked, it would’ve been neither of their ideas. Until Steve suggested a small diner he used to go to with Evie, and Pony agreed.

They ended up parking around a block away, the streets being surprisingly crowded for a weekday morning. Which Pony giddily took to his advantage, grabbing Steve’s hand and holding it in tightly.

“What’s with you today?” Steve chuckled but still didn’t shake Pony’s hand free.

“Does something gotta be wrong with me for me to want to hold my boyfriend's hand?” Ponyboy pouted, running his thumb over the back of Steve’s hand affectionately.

“You’re starting to scare me, Pone” Steve joked, “you do know we’re not actually dating, right?”

Ponyboy just smirked and shoved Steve’s shoulder lightly, then bringing his hand in close so he didn’t actually go anywhere. He even held the diner door open for him.

“Don’t push it” Steve growled, but deep down not hating the way Pony’s hand fit so easily in his.

Ponyboy rolled his eyes as he slid into the booth, “you sound like Rambo.”

“What’s wrong with Rambo?” Steve laughed as he sat across from Ponyboy who was already going through the memo. Which seemed pointless to Steve considering Pony had only ever ordered the same thing from every restaurant all his life. Cheeseburger burger with extra cheese.

“I didn’t say there was” Pony mumbled as he eyed over the small print.

Steve raised an eyebrow, “one year of college changed you so much that you’re actually looking at the menu?”

“No” Pony looked up at Steve, looking slightly bothered or insulted, “I just thought we should get milkshakes. You know, all that first date stuff you’re such a big fan of.”

“Oh shove it” Steve snatched the menu from Pony’s hands, “Whatcha thinking bout?”

“Strawberry.”

“Gross.”

“It’s the best and only option, Steve.”

“Like I’m gonna listen to the kid who only eats everything if it’s drenched in hot sauce or cheese.”

“What? A spicy strawberry milkshake doesn’t sound good to you?” Pony grinned, “more for me.”

The waitress came by and took their orders. And just as Steve thought, Pony got the same thing he always did. Something about that part of him not changing made Steve jump a little less when Pony’s foot settled against his under the table. He said nothing about it.

He said nothing about the way Pony smiled so hard it made it hard for him to eat his burger. Or the way he almost didn't finish his milkshake from all the near spit takes. Steve said nothing every time Pony’s hand brushes against his. Said nothing when their eye contact lingered just a bit too long. He guessed some things were better left unsaid.

They finished up and Steve paid, earning an earful of Ponyboy. Even more so when he held the door open for him as they exited the small diner.

“Laugh it up all ya want” Steve shook his head, “I’m an actor committed to my craft.”

“Sure you are” Pony grabbed Steve’s hand again, holding it tightly the same way Steve had grown accustomed to. He didn’t mind the fact it was happening at much as the fact of why it was happening.

Ponyboy began to swing the two of their hands in between them, making Steve hyper aware of the fact they were acting like fucking teenagers.

“Oh my god, Steve” Pony gasped and started to pull Steve into a store before he even got a chance to read the sign.

Once he was inside, he looked around to see it was some kind of makeup and hair store. All those feminine kinds of stuff. Steve’s face instantly started heating up.

“Pony what the hell are we doing here?” Steve scolded at a whisper, unintentionally gripping hard onto his hand.

“I forgot to pack my nail polish, relax, I’ll be quick. Your precious masculinity will be spared” Pony grinned back at Steve and continued to pull him to the polish isle. They seemed to be the only ones in the store, yet Steve’s head was still on a swivel.

“Which color” Pony asked and held up a light yellow and a pitch black, two very different colors. Yet Steve couldn’t decide, he liked both. The dark and the light.

Letting out a sigh, Steve answered, “get both.”

“If I do, will you let me paint your nails?” Pony smiled and shoved them both into his pocket, walking back towards the front door to the store, smiling and waving nicely at the man who stood by the counter convincingly enough so that they weren’t followed as they exited.

“What? Hell no” Steve responded, still in shock that Pony had managed to steal both the polishes so easily. Guess years of hanging out with Two and the Shepard’s paid off in one way.

“You’re no fun” Pony kicked at a rock and watched it skip down the sidewalk, realizing his hands were still in his pockets instead of holding Steve’s.

“I’m tons of fun, I just don’t wanna get all queered out” Steve said without a hint of realization to his words. And if Pony had not gotten used to his blunt honesty the past few weeks, he would’ve stopped dead in his tracks.

“You insulting me, Steve?” Pony bumped his shoulder lightly against Steve’s.

“I aint” Steve spoke casually, “didn't say it was a bad thing. Just not for me.”

Pony couldn’t help but smile as they reached the car, “for now.”

“Forever.”

They reached the car and quickly sped home. It was weird to call it ‘home’, however. Although to Ponyboy it felt more like home than the house he has grown up in. The house that was packed full of so many memories that it felt like some sort of haunted art exhibit. The dust covered manorah sitting on the back of the kitchen counter as years passed. The same old tv box where the whole gang would watch ‘leave it to beaver’ every Saturday after synagogue. The letters carved into his desk, overlapping each other with a plus sign every time he found a new true love. His moms recipes pinned to the fridge even though they hadn’t been used in years.

So he supposed that’s why Steve’s empty house felt more like home. Not a constant reminder of who he was but instead the room to just be. And the best thing about it too was that Steve let him. Joke all he wanted, but deep down they both knew there wasn’t a thing either of them wanted to change about him.

“What movie do you wanna watch today?” Steve asked him as they made their way up the wooden steps.

“No movie today” Pony smiled.

“No movie? Are you okay?” Steve opened the door to their place, half messing around half serious.

Pony shrugged with an oddly content look on his face before walking to sit down at the kitchen table, “we don’t always gotta be watching something when we’re together, Steve. We could just talk or something. Like normal friends.”

Friends. It was an odd word. Especially when you’re trying to describe Ponyboy Curtis and Steve Randle. But it was a good enough word as any.

“Guess so” Steve responded suspiciously, “Whatcha wanna talk bout?”

“You” Pony said nonchalantly, taking the lid off the yellow nail polish and wiping the tip of the brush against the rim of the bottle.

“Me?” Steve questioned, cautiously taking the seat across from Ponyboy, “Whatcha wanna talk bout me for?

Pony began to paint his pointer finger, focusing on and not bothering to look up at Steve, “cause you fascinate me.”

“I fascinate you?”

“Deeply.”

“How the fuck do I fascinate you?”

Pony finally looked up and put the brush back in the polish bottle, “you’ve always fascinated me, Steve. Ever since we were kids, you know. Kinda wanted to be like you.”

“You wanted to be like me?” Steve cross examined, not really believing a word Pony was saying.

“Yeah. You were real tuff. Still are I guess, but you would’ve never let me stay over and annoy you with movies every night.”

“You don’t annoy me” Steve confessed honestly. Quite the opposite actually. Ponyboy was like a breath of fresh air.

“I used to” Pony laughed and began to paint his nails again, carefully studying each one so as not to mess up.

“Everything used to annoy me.”

“Especially me.”

“Well not anymore” Steve shifted in his seat, he didn’t like the way this conversation was going. He didn’t like to think about the past, even without Dallas and Johnny. He didn’t like that version of himself. Granted he hadn’t charged too much, but enough to hate the version of himself that tried so hard to hate Ponyboy.

“Good” Ponyboy nodded, “you know something else?”

Steve responded with only a nod of his head, telling Pony to go on.

“I used to have a thing for you.”

The words came out so easily, like it was the most simple admission ever. Like it hardly even mattered. But to Steve, it mattered. He couldn’t exactly pinpoint why. But he knew it mattered.

“You had a crush on me? I thought you were going with the Shepard kid?” Steve managed to stutter out, hoping that maybe Pony was just joking around.

“Curly? Yeah. Don’t mean I still didn’t look at you any chance I got.”

“Is that how come we’re doing this” Steve motioned in between the two of them, “now?”

Ponyboy looked up and laughed. Airy enough so that not much came out but a smile.

“No” Pony chuckled, continuing on his nails, “and sides. You coulda said no.”

He had a point, and they both knew it. Ponyboy had suggested it and Steve had said yes. So now they were both as equally in as deep as the other.

“You know” Steve rolled his eyes and flicked at the other cheap bottle of black nail polish, just now noticing that it was the same kind Curly Shepard used to wear. Guess he knew how that had happened.

“This whole pretending to be going together thing isn’t gonna do anyone any good unless you tell someone. Sitting around here watching these girly movies and painting your nails like it’s a damn sleep over isnt doing anything, Ponyboy. Thought you wanted to piss Darry off? Huh?”

“Yeah. And what’s better than pissing him off real good when he finds out by ‘accident’,” Pony smiled almost hauntingly, blowing on his nails like a damn cliche. Everything he did was like that.

“How do you suppose that?”

“I suppose he finds out when he finds out. Until then, you just keep acting like the stand up boyfriend you are.”

Pony flashed Steve another toothy grin and a wink before peeling his attention away yet again. Teasingly, tauntingly, too much.

“I bet you’ll fall in love with me” Steve cracked a smile.

Pony didn’t even look up from where he sat focused on his nails, “I don’t take bets I’m sure to lose.”

~

Ponyboy looked up from the tv to look over at where Steve lay on his bed. With it being nearly midnight, he would’ve guessed Steve to be asleep if it wasn’t for the way his fingers tapped along to whatever was playing from his cassette tape player and sang quietly along. Just above a whisper. He looked like something out of ‘a nightmare on elm street’.

He stood up slowly, turning off the tv and walking over to him.

“What are you listening to?” Pony hummed and pondered the idea of sitting on the side of Steve’s bed, but eventually decided against it.

“You wanna know?” Steve asked, taking an earbud out and offering it over to Ponyboy.

Pony carefully took the earbud, placed it in his ear, and laid down nice to Steve. Careful so that they still had a foot of space in between them.

“Zeppelin?” Pony looked over at Steve, his hand still drumming against the cassette player.

“What’s wrong with Zeppelin?” Steve looked like he was staring straight through the very soul of Ponyboy. They’d done stuff like this before. Fell asleep together. Held hands. But nothing could compare to how close they were now. And if Steve wanted, he could kiss Pony, for real now.

“Nothing” Pony laughed, still not tearing his eyes away from Steve’s, “I wouldn’t really have pictured anything else.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Steve chuckled, his laughter just barely interrupted the song playing in Pony’s ear.

“Nothing I said” Pony giggled and scooted closer to Steve, “what song is next?”

Steve looked over to check, “think ‘tangerine’. Can’t tell.”

Pony hummed in response, resting his head on Steve’s shoulder and breathing in as deeply as he could. The rhythm of the guitar almost perfectly matched with Steve’s heartbeat, even the skip of a beat when Pony turned to look up at him.

“This okay?”

“Just fine” Steve smiled down, he looked like a song on his own. One Pony wouldn’t mind having on replay.

The next song came on. And the next. And the next. Until Pony was fast asleep on Steve’s chest. With Steve’s hand twitching, telling him that Pony’s hair would feel so much softer against his hand than under his chin. And if he thought hard enough, and listened to the song again. And again. And again. Pony’s hair could almost smell like tangerines.

Like a living reflection from a dream. One that was once a thousand years in between. Thinking about how things used to be, and if he ever remembered a single time like these.

~

The rain poured down so loud that shutting the window didn’t even make a difference. And it certainly didn’t make a difference to Ponyboy who was still perched at that window for what seemed like an hour now. Completely enamored by the rain. Almost like he had been living in a drought his whole life and was only now seeing it for the first time. The same way he used to climb over the back of the couch when he was a kid.

“It’s so beautiful out there” Pony smiled and continued to draw small shapes and hearts and letters on the fog of the window. Tracing around ‘p+s’ like it was some sort of séance.

“The sky’s complete grey, Pony” Steve mentioned as he came up behind Ponyboy. The letters on the glass caught his eye for just a moment. For just a moment he wanted to ask.

“But tomorrow it means the whole world will be green” Pony wiped away the letters before Steve could think much more about it, “like gold.”

Steve laughed, “I suppose you like rainbows too?”

Pony looked over at Steve unimpressed, “only as much as you.”

Fair. Steve watched Pony’s gaze turn back towards the window. There was nothing really special about this rain. It was the same as any other he had seen his whole life. Hell if anything it was insignificant.

“Does this place have a roof?” Pony asked and turned around.

“Yeah? Why?” Steve didn’t know why he bothered to ask why, he could practically read Pony’s mind. He would’ve been out there in the parking lot hours ago if he wanted.

“Come on” Ponyboy stood up and grabbed Steve’s hand, pulling him towards the front door, not even bothering to grab a coat or put on different shoes.

“Do we have to?” Steve groaned but followed Pony out the door anyway, the rain soon falling lightly against his bare skin, “I hate the rain, it ruins my hair.”

“For me? Please?” Pony pouted and hung off the cold damp metal stairs that lead up to the roof. Steve shouldn’t be falling for this. He never used to when they were kids. Not once.

“Fine.”

Pony grinned wider than ever and skipped up the creaking stairs until he jumped on the roof of the bar, the loud music barely being able to make its way through the patter of the rain and cracks from the thunder. It probably wasn’t the safest place to be but Ponyboy didn’t seem to care.

“God, look at this, Steve” Pony gasped in awe as he looked over the edge of the roof out at the miles of city in front of them, “it’s beautiful.”

Steve still didn’t see anything special. The most beautiful thing in sight was Ponyboy, that's all. And he looked like he was losing his mind over a bunch of tiny water droplets falling from the sky.

“I guess so” Steve shrugged and joined Pony where he was leaning; noticing the way the rain rolled down his face, over his nose, into his lips, dripping off the ends of his hair, his shirt clinging to his chest, he never looked happier.

“Think of how big the universe is, Steve. It’s the biggest thing there is. Yet right now it feels awfully small. It feels like just you and me. You know?” Pony sighed out.

He knew. Steve knew exactly what Pony meant.

“I guess” Steve responded again, this time getting Pony to look over at him.

“You’re all wet” Pony grinned with a laugh, looking Steve from head to toe. He was one to speak.

“No shit, you dragged me out here at ten in the night in the pouring rain” Steve retorted, gesturing wildly at the sky around them.

“You look good” Pony smiled softly, holding his hands tightly so not even a part of him would let his guard down and he would accidentally find his hands glued to Steve’s hair. His shirt. Anywhere.

Steve froze, “oh.”

“You look good too, Ponyboy, your hair looks way darker” Steve thought out loud.

The silence was back aside from the sounds of the world pouring down around them. Skin prickling from the cold as well as the proximity to each other. Hair standing on end and hands being forced into fists to avoid the inevitable. And then Pony’s eyes trailed over to Steve. The gel in his hair dripped out with the rain, his smile hidden behind the lips Pony had longed for ever since that one small kiss.

He didn’t know what he was thinking when he did it. Probably that it didn’t matter, or it wouldn’t. That he could get away with it without longing for it again every time he looked at Steve. He was supposed to be changed, not the same pathetic kid he was five years ago. Hanging off whatever scrap of food Steve gave him like a starving dog.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Steve raised an eyebrow and elbowed at Pony’s arm.

Ponyboy just shrugged and continued to look out at the horizon, “you make me feel like I’m in a movie.”

“Like one of those cheesy ones you force me to sit through?” Steve laughed and loved the way Pony couldn’t help but smile, “what’s next? We gonna dance or something?”

“You wanna dance with me, Steve?” Pony smirked and looked over at Steve.

“Hell no.”

“You brought it up, I think you might.”

Steve rolled his eyes and tried to look away from Pony, “I was just messing around. Can we go back inside now?”

“I think you owe me a dance” Pony laughed and chased Steve with his eyes.

“I’m not gonna fucking dance with you in the middle of a thunder storm. Life ain’t a movie, Pony” Steve exclaimed like it was some sort of indecent proposal.

“Unless you make it one, come on” Pony grinned and grabbed both Steve’s wrists, pulling him away from the ledge and placing Steve’s hands on his waist, pressing their chests closer than ever so they wet clothes clung together like magnets.

Steve watched awkwardly as Pony wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck and leaned his face next to Steve’s, “I think you're fucking crazy.”

“You’re not stopping me.”

Steve couldn’t argue with that. Despite how dumb he was sure they looked, he’d almost never seen Pony so happen. Even if it meant recreating whatever book or movie had in mind. Pony was worth being a cliche.

“I hate how much taller than me you are” Steve snorted at a whisper, his ear barely pressing against Pony’s chin.

Steve felt Pony smile against him, “I like it.”

“Of course you do, it gives you the upper hand.”

“How so?”

“I don’t like looking up at you, it feels weird.”

They almost had both forgotten they were still rocking together until Pony pushed them apart a few inches, just enough so he could smile proudly down at Steve. His hands unconsciously teasing their way into the back of Steve’s hair. He had to think he was in a movie, Steve was sure of it.

“Don’t look at me like that” Steve mumbled, almost impossible to hear over the rain, purposely hushed.

“Fine” Pony gave in, not in the mood to argue at the moment, pulling Steve close again and resting his head against Steve’s, “I just like looking at you, that’s all. Always have.”

Steve nearly thanked god they weren’t face to face anymore, because he knew by the way his cheeks were heating up, he would’ve never heard the end of it.

But he couldn’t lie either, he didn’t mind looking at Ponyboy too much either. His entire life he’d heard about how attractive Soda was. Even being compared to him. He could only imagine what that was like for Ponyboy. Always being compared to Darry and Soda. At least he knew one thing for sure, that Pony was definitely the best looking.

“You look nothing like Soda” Steve hummed, “you’re way prettier.”

“My oh my” Pony chuckled, his wet shirt shaking against Steve’s, “Steve Randle calling me pretty? Thank you, but ain’t no way I’m more than Soda.”

“I think so” Steve spoke honestly. There was just something about Ponyboy overall that was just far more interesting. Something that made Steve want to be around him more than anyone else.

“Is it the height?” Pony teased, his laughter sounding like melting caramel and sweet honey.

“Oh shut up.”

“I’m just messing with you” Pony grinned and coiled his fingers deeper into Steve’s hair, “you’re real pretty too, Steve. Pretty in a ‘I wanna make movies starring you’ kinda way.”

“Oh yeah?” Steve smirked, “what kind of movies?”

“The kind that you make me feel like I’m in” Ponyboy answered quickly, like it was something he had thought about many times before.

Steve nodded slightly and hooked his thumbs into the damp belt loops of Pony’s jeans, “what kind is that?”

“I don’t know yet” Pony hummed, “I think we deserve our own genre.”

~

The air instantly felt tense and heavy as soon as Steve and Pony walked through the front door. Sure since he had come back from college he had been in the house quite a bit, it was his after all. But something about today felt off. Even Soda hugged Steve shorter and Darry glared at him longer. The same look he used to give Curly Shepard.

“Two Bit saw something interesting yesterday” Soda wiggled his eyebrows over at where Steve and Pony sat on the couch about a foot away from each other. Making up the space for which they had lacked last night on the roof.

“Yeah?” Steve asked.

“You tell em Two” Soda smirked and stood leaning against the doorway. Still hadn’t matured over seventeen in Steve’s mind.

Which was odd. Then again, Steve hadn’t really had the desire to spend more than a few hours here and there with Soda. They were still best friends by whatever definition you gave the word, but they were far from inseparable now.

Steve chalked it up to maturity. Him moving out, moving on, and having more hopes for his life than to be just ‘Sodapop’s best friend’. He always hated that. Even at seven years old. He hated the way people would say Soda’s name with a smile and his with a scowl. Even his own father. As much as he loved Soda, and always would, Ponyboy never made him feel like ‘just Sodapop’s best friend’.

But he supposed if he got thinking about it too hard, he was jealous of all the Curtis brothers. Who wasn’t? The way Pony could get out of Tulsa and make something for himself. The way Soda was liked by everyone in the world just by shaking their hand. And the way Darry was as close to normal as you could ever get. Who wouldn’t want any of that?

“You and the kid at the diner, me and my girl saw ya” Two smirked and looked over at Darry, who looked utterly unreadable in the moment.

“Yeah? What about it?” Pony questioned. He looked like he was walking on pins and needles. The way he only did around Darry.

Darry laughed heavily and walked back into this kitchen, Sodapop following not that far behind him. Darry had always been good at reading people. And by the way he laughed like nothing was even going on, Steve could tell he knew nothing was going on. He just hoped Pony didn’t notice that too.

“You and Steve finally getting along? Has the sky finally fallen?” Two Bit laughed as he threw an arm around both Steve’s and Ponyboy’s shoulders. Forcing them apart by sitting in between the two of them.

“Guess that’s one way of putting it” Pony shoved Two’s arm off of him and rolled his eyes.

Two Bit looked confused, more than usual, “what’s that supposed to mean? Y’all friends or something?”

Steve snorted, “or something.”

“No…” Two Bit frantically looked from Pony to Steve then back again, “you’re lying.”

“Ain’t lying” Pony shrugged, trying to seem as sincere and casual as possible.

“Are to! Y’all never got along and now what? You’re screwin’?” Two Bit pried, his signature obliviousness showing through the same as ever.

That made Pony burst out laughing, “it’s not like that.”

Steve watched the way Pony’s hands clenched along with his jaw, unrelenting. Like if he kept it up he was sure to pop a blood vessel or something.

“We should probably get going, I promised we’d see a movie in twenty” Steve spoke up, hoping his lie wouldn’t be caught by Two Bit.

“Yeah, we should probably go” Pony said coldly.

“I’m just saying” Two Bit raised his hands in surrender, “call it what you want, but I know the both of you. Have since I was ten. It ain’t gonna last if there’s anything more than… you know.”

“Shut up, Two Bit, you don’t know shit” Pony defended, the tips of his ears getting red with anger.

“I ain’t wrong and you know it” Two laughed and pointed a finger at the two of them. Sure he might not have meant it as crude or harsh as it came out, he never really did. But the way Pony looked about ready to burst like a kettle told Steve they needed to get the hell out.

“Maybe ya are, maybe ya ain’t” Steve spoke up, “that don’t matter. I’m happy. You happy, Pony?”

Ponyboy smiled almost scarily, “as a clam.”

~

“Where’d they go?” Darry asked, coming back into the living room where his friend was watching tv, now by himself.

“Think I pissed of Pony” Two shrugged, “stormed out.”

Darry crossed his arms over his chest, as much as he would love to admit his brother was dramatic, Two had a thing for saying the wrong thing, “what did you do?”

Two Bit seemed to think for a second, deliberating, “don’t know”, he lied. Even if he wasn’t sure of whatever the fuck was going on between the two, he wasn’t gonna let one of his best buddies get his skull crushed in.

“Ass” Darry cursed.

~

Pony slammed the door behind the two of them as they entered Steve’s apartment, not even bothering to sit down, instead he began to anxiously pace around the middle of the room.

“Whatcha so worked up over?” Steve asked, sitting on the edge of his bed and pulling his shoes off.

“Did you see the look on his face, Steve? He didn’t believe a word of it” Pony froze, staring daggers at Steve. And as much as he wanted to tell Pony ‘I told you so’, he couldn’t.

“How do you know?” Steve challenged.

Pony looked at him like he had just grown two heads, “he did everything short of saying it, Steve. Hell, he did say it!”

“Well then that ain’t my fault, I did good” Steve defended himself, somehow feeling insulted because damn did he try hard. He was new to this whole, whatever, they were doing.

“You’re kidding me? Right?” Ponyboy exclaimed, completely serious, “you didn’t even call me your boyfriend or anything.”

“Oh sorry, my bad, I should’ve gotten my ass beat by your brothers” Steve rolled his eyes, standing up and joining Pony in the middle of the room, arguing like they’d been at this for years. Just in a different way now.

“You could’ve at least called me something nice.”

“Well what the fuck am I supposed to call you, Pony?”

“I don’t-“

“Baby?”

“Steve-“

“Babe?”

“Steve!”

“Doll face?” Steve ranted on and waited just a few seconds, “doll face? Really? Jesus, Pony.”

“You were right, okay? It’s weird! You were right” Pony apologized, throwing his hands up in the air in a fake surrender.

“Awe, doll face, don’t be like that” Steve pouted mockingly in pity, his eyes being the only insincere part of him.

“Dick” Pony growled.

Steve cracked a smile and put his hands on his hips teasingly, “now that’s not a very cute nickname is it? How about sweetie?”

“Oh my god-“

“Or lover? What about lover?”

“Steve.”

“I kinda like ‘sugar’. What about you?”

“Go to hell, okay? Fuck off” Pony challenged and stepped closer to Steve so he was invading all of his space. Somehow trying to use the extra inches he had on him to his advantage.

“I’m just messing with ya, Pone” Steve grinned and threw his arm over Ponyboy’s shoulders.

Pony sighed and blew the hair out of his face, “yeah. Sure. Whatever.”

“I’m serious, cutie pie, I’m sorry” Steve barely managed to spit out without his whole body erupting in laughter.

Pony winced, “that’s so weird.”

“You asked.”

“I know I asked, but I didn’t know you’d be such an ass about it.”

“I’m an ass about everything, cupcake.”

“Oh my god will you just shut up?” Pony nearly shouted, not that he was that annoyed. Well, he almost was. Steve was the most aggravatingly addicting person he knew.

And before he could say one more thing, open his big stupid mouth one more time; Pony grabbed his face, bent down, and shut him up himself. Kissing him hard and long and until any words had left both of their minds. Any idea of a thought had been long and far gone.

They both pulled away and Steve’s eyes instantly shot open, looking at how Pony kept his own eyes shut as tight as possible. Fuck if that didn’t look like poster boy of instant regret.

“You kissed me again” Steve exclaimed with a breathy laugh, his eyes going wide and jaw slightly dropping. His face read far different from anything he was feeling.

Pony kept his eyes closed, nodding slowly like he was processing what he had just done.

“Well I didn’t know how else to shut you up” Pony retorted and let his hands fall from Steve’s face, shoving him away, “sides. I told you to get used to it.”

“I figured you meant around people, not when we’re alone in the middle of my damn apartment” Steve laughed completely mind blown. Almost forgetting the fact that they actually were alone in his apartment. Just the two of them.

“I’m sorry” Pony apologized again, “you’re just so fucking annoying.”

“So annoying that you kissed me?”

Pony looked away and bit the inside of his cheek, “yeah, I guess so.”

Steve laughed again and let out a low whistle, “if I knew you were supposed to kiss people when they were annoying you, I would’ve kissed ya the first time ya spent the night.”

“I wasn’t thinking, okay?” Ponyboy tried to rationalize, not like it was going to get him anywhere.

“It sure seemed like you were thinking a lot” Steve smirked, and he couldn’t help but notice the clear and obvious flush of crimson red that tangled it’s way up Pony’s neck and settled itself ever so comfortably onto his cheeks.

Pony didn’t respond. He just kept looking away and picking at the polish on his nails. His eyes pierced like a storm. Thunder in every glance away and lightning in every one back.

“Chill out, will ya? I ain’t mad” Steve tried to lighten the mood, shoving lightly at Pony’s arm, “it was really a decent kiss.”

“Oh so you’re gonna mock me now?” Pony snapped his attention back to Steve’s eyes, his darting around as frantic as he was just moments before.

“I ain’t mocking you, jeez you take everything so- it was a fine kiss, Ponyboy” Steve pressed on, trying to sound as sincere as possible despite his own growing annoyance.

Pony grimaced, “no one says that.”

“Then what do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know. I like it better when you aren’t talking.”

Steve couldn't help but to smirk, “I know you do.”

“Go to hell.”

“Feels like I’m already there” Steve sneered without missing a beat and walked back towards the kitchen.

Pony watched him fill up a glass of water and drink it as quickly as he could, like somehow kissing Pony had sucked the life right out of him. Steve set the glass down beside him where he leaned against the counter and glanced back at Pony.

“You got a staring problem too?”

Pony’s whole body felt like it was on fire, “I only got one problem, Steve. You.”

“Me? How the hell am I a problem?” Steve asked, teetering the line between amused and growing frustration.

A million things came rushing into Ponyboy’s mind, but not one of them was something he could say out loud. Especially to Steve. He couldn’t say how much he hated the way he wished he hated everything about him. How he looked. How he dressed. How he talked. How he could be the most annoying pest like person in the room but never in a million years would Pony wish to get rid of him. Maybe that’s what it felt like to go crazy. To completely lose your mind.

“Ponyboy?”

“Just be quiet. For one minute. Please” Pony nearly begged, probably sounding more desperate than he ever intended. But it still worked.

After a few seconds Pony looked back over at Steve, his face almost unreadable and his eyes void of anything there was before. Just staring at each other until one of them dared to speak. Ponyboy felt frozen. Like he’d just fallen into some sort of icy lake, freezing his legs to the ground and his arms to his sides.

Steve sighed heavily and walked slowly back over to where Ponyboy stood in the center of the room, still not saying anything. There wasn’t much more that could be said. Whether they had already said it all in words or in the only two kisses that lingered between them like the air was poisonous. Like Steve had taken a bite of that apple or somehow touched the spinning wheel. Yet he didn’t want the clock to strike midnight again. He wanted to keep whatever fleeting fraction of a fairy tale he had left.

“You still read a lot of books?” Steve asked, closing the space in between them so they were nearly eye to eye and chest to chest.

“You still gonna make fun of me for it?” Pony questioned back and it was as if the close proximity made him regain his confidence, flickering his eyes between Steve’s lips and eyes. Tracing over his every feature for the thousandth time. Memorizing him.

Steve shook his head, “nah, just wondering.”

“Wondering bout what?”

“What’s your favorite” Steve grinned, not exactly phrasing it as a question but still not giving Pony time to answer, “still Romeo and Juliet?”

Pony scoffed and looked away, “I never liked Romeo and Juliet.”

“Why? It remind you of someone?”

Ponyboy’s head instantly turned at the under-described accusation, “I’d hardly call us Romeo and Juliet.”

“Why not? Cause we aint rich?” Steve laughed, making Pony stifle his own.

“Cause we ain’t like Johnny and Dally, Steve.”

“You mean dead or the other way?”

“The other way?” Pony shot back, “how do you think we are anything like that if you can’t even say it.”

Steve shook his head and clenched his fists by his sides, “I don’t know what to say, Ponyboy. What do you want me to say? I’m trying here.”

Ponyboy closed his eyes briefly, taking in Steve’s words. Thinking about what the hell he did want him to say. Or do. Because the past month he had been saying and doing just enough. He didn’t have to let Pony stay over. He didn’t have to pretend to go out with him. And he definitely didn’t have to let Pony kiss him.

“I know” Pony swallowed, feeling out of place in his entire body, ice cold flames threatening to spill out any place Steve looked.

“Then what’dya want from me?”

And before Ponyboy could even think, the words came flying out of his mouth like a derailed train, “kiss me.”

Steve let out one single shocked laugh, “what movie is that from?”

“Ain’t from no movie, you piece of shit” Pony chuckled exhaustedly, “can’t you just- god I don’t even know. Can’t you just do it? Or at least tell me if you don’t want, better than making me feel like a fucking idiot.”

Steve licked his lips and took a hesitant step towards Pony, who haphazardly took a step back in response.

“Come on, Pone, I’m getting mixed signals here” Steve laughed, his mind almost completely lost by every second that went by, “you say to me to kiss ya, and then when I do go in to kiss ya, you avoid me like the fucking plague. God I swear you’re gonna give me grey hairs.”

Pony watched Steve wave his hands around like some sort of animated cartoon character, it would’ve made him laugh if he wasn’t feeling every other feeling in the book. And yet again he didn’t have a single thought in his mind but the same cursed one he had tried twice before.

With that, he lunged forward and kissed Steve for a third time. Holding his face in his hands all over again like it was the last thing in the world that mattered. Kissing him like he never wanted to stop, and Steve didn't want him to, finally getting the nerve to kiss him back after a few seconds. Weaving his hands into Pony’s hair, pulling him closer than he had ever been before, and keeping him there.

Pony pulled away but only enough to rest his forehead against Steve’s, still holding his face in both his hands as if he dropped it, it would shatter into a million pieces.

“You just keep kissing me” Steve whispered but didn’t dare move a muscle.

“Shut up” Pony laughed breathlessly and pressed his lips to Steve’s again.

This time it was slower. More deliberate. Like the first time he wanted to do it and like how he needed to the second time. Like he never wanted to stop.

Not even seconds later Steve was backed up with his back against the wall, Pony attached to his lips and his hand trailing downwards. And god if everything in that moment didn’t feel completely fuzzy, like the most realistic dream he never wanted to wake up from. Because he didn’t know how bad he needed this until every single bit of his skin was on fire, stemming from wherever Ponyboy happened to be. And that was everywhere.

“Shit” Steve cursed against Pony’s lips, throwing his head back until it hit the wall, not that he cared in the slightest.

“I thought I told you to shut up” Pony chuckled as his lips trailed down Steve’s jaw.

“I didn’t know that applied to this” Steve groaned and gave a light tug to the back of Ponyboy’s hair, drawing out a similar sound from him.

Pony just continued to work his lips lower and lower, each kiss drawing Steve further and further away. Feeling like he was purposely walking towards the edge of a cliff. Standing right on the edge, looking down. Looking at Pony. And if he wanted to jump, he could. So he did.

~

Ponyboy’s Star of David pendant now lay rising and falling on his chest, instead of where it was swinging over Steve’s face just some time earlier. His head resting against Steve’s. So close that he wondered if Steve could hear his thoughts. Or if they were maybe even sharing the same one.

He would’ve pinched himself if he wasn’t for the fact that his hands were probably still shaking. That and the way he was sure this was the most real thing that had happened in his life. More real than any of the books. Any of the movies. Any of the guys and the kisses and the names and the numbers. More real than anything in his whole life combined. The only thing he had to pinch himself for was so he didn’t say something stupid. Though he was almost certain Steve could hear it anyway.

Then Two’s words from earlier began to bounce through Ponyboy’s head like an echo in a tunnel.

“Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“Is what Two said true?”

“Two said a lot.”

“I mean. About me being the only one in this” Pony sighed and looked up at the ceiling. Ignoring the way Steve’s head turned to look straight through him.

Steve laughed lowly, “you really think that?”

“I did force you into this whole dating thing”

“You didn’t force me into anything” Steve ran a hand through Pony’s hair, it felt different now, “I told you, if I wanted to say no, I would’ve.”

“How come you didn’t?” Pony turned to look Steve in the eyes. They were close now. In a different way than before.

Steve smiled softly, almost completely out of character for him, almost so much so that Pony wouldn’t have believed it if he wasn’t looking it straight in the face. The same gap tooth smile he used to give to everyone but Ponyboy.

“Cause I like you. And if you’re holding my hand, even as a joke, it means no one else is. If you’re in my bed, it means you aren’t in anyone else’s. If you’re kissing me, it means you aren’t kissing anyone else. And I guess I sorta like it that way.”

Pony’s lips tugged upwards as the words he has been waiting nearly ten years to hear, “that makes you sound awful clingy, Steve. Like a koala bear.”

“You gonna say it back or no?” Steve chuckled, “just gonna leave me out here hanging?”

“Say what back?” Ponyboy smirked and propped himself up on one arm.

“That you like me.”

“I’ve been saying I like you for years now, Randle” Pony smiled and flicked Steve on the chest.

Steve grabbed his hand quickly and brought it to his mouth, giving each finger a small kiss, “don’t care. Say it again.”

Pony nearly winced and pulled back at the purposely cheesy and over the top gesture, “I like you, Steve.”

“I like you too, Pone” Steve held Pony’s hand against his chest, “I’m real glad you came home. And I'm real glad I finally got to know you like I do now. I was missing out.”

“You weren’t” Pony laughed, “trust me.”

“I think so. I keep telling myself that you’ve changed. But I don’t think you have. I think I’m the one that changed.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean, the more I get to know you the more I remember about us being kids. And the more I see that you didn’t really change. You’ve always been the type to paint your nails and watch those kinds of movies. All that stuff. I just ain’t cared to notice it until now.”

Ponyboy rubbed a small circle on the back of Steve’s hand, “and now that you notice it?”

“Hell” Steve looked up and let out a breathy laugh, “I’m in bed with you now, ain’t I?”

“You are” Pony smiled proudly.

“Hey now, don’t get all up in your head about it” Steve warned, pointing a finger up at Pony from where he was still holding his hand.

“It’s just flattering to hear” Pony sighed dramatically, “don’t mean you gotta stop.”

“Who says I’m gonna stop?”

“So this ain’t just gonna be done in the morning?” Pony asked, tracing a finger along Steve’s chest, “go back to being fake.”

“It don’t gotta be fake this time” Steve suggested, looking into Pony’s eyes for an answer before one came.

“You proposing what I think you are?” Pony raised an eyebrow.

“Depends, what do you think I am?”

“You asking me if I wanna go steady or something, Steve?”

“Or something” Steve beamed and folded his arms behind his head.

Pony blushed and returned the smile, shaking his head, “I guess that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.”

“Yeah?” Steve ran his hand through Pony’s hair then down his face, resting it against his cheek.

“Yeah.”

“Good.”

Steve pulled Pony down to his lips. Kissing him in an all new way. And this time it was like the whole world was brighter. Like a switch had been turned. The world spun faster and the sun was maybe even a little bit warmer. This time even when he pulled away, because now he knew he could do it again.

“One rule” Steve hummed against Pony’s lips.

“A rule? What is this? I’m not-“

“You're allowed to fall in love with me now.”

Pony couldn’t help but laugh, “deal.”

~

Darry didn’t give a single shit when they told him. It was almost laughable the way he seemed that he couldn’t care less, considering how the whole thing had started in the first place. Like somehow magically he had started to see Pony for the age he was and not just some immature kid still walking home alone from the movies. Because he didn’t go alone anymore. He didn’t go anywhere alone anymore. And maybe when you’re the closest thing to a parent that someone can get, you should just be happy for them. After all, the smile on Ponyboy’s face had never looked more natural.

Soda was more surprised than anyone else. With Johnny being gone you’d think that would make Pony and Soda closer than ever but that wasn’t really the case. The more the years passed the more they seemed to drift apart. Which Pony guessed was why he was so shocked at the news. However he still had the mind about him to give Steve a lecture of his life like they were thirteen again. And when both Steve and Pony swore up and down that this was, whatever it was, Soda seemed to back off. Even though he still seemed stuck on the whole ‘my best friend and my little brother’. But who wouldn’t be.

Two Bit just laughed and raised a glass, the closest he would ever give to an apology for the things he said. He probably still meant them, even if he didn’t say it outloud. He was smarter than that after seeing the way Steve looked at Pony like he was the last living thing on the planet. And not even nearly in a sexual way. And as much as he could joke around and make fun of the infinite possibilities that came with Ponyboy Curtis’ infatuation with Steve Randle finally being returned, it was almost hard to do so.

Pony wished he could’ve told Johnny and Dallas. Because although they never got the chance to come out, it was obvious they loved each other more than life. Even until death. He would’ve loved to see the look on Johnny’s face when he told him. Pony thought about whether Johnny would've been happy for him or weary like he always was about everything Pony did. It made him miss Johnny more than anything. Dallas too.

He told Steve about it one night when they were laying together. He told him how Johnny was the first person he came out too, even if most everyone already knew. And how Johnny described what it was like to fall in love, and how deep down he knew Johnny was talking about Dallas but all Pony was thinking about was Steve. And how Steve was pretty much all he ever thought about.

He told Steve about the handful of guys he saw at college. The most serious one being a guy he went out with in a few dates then didn’t see again after Pony ended up face down in his bed. Steve rolled his eyes and laughed through every story, calling Pony an idiot in the most kind way possible.

Even Steve told Pony about the two guys he dated in the time he was gone. They weren’t anything special, didn’t last much more than a month or two. But even though the stories were unimportant in the long run, it still mattered. It still mattered with every kiss they shared with each other and no one else. It mattered when Steve taught Pony how to wash his hair and when Pony asked Steve to come to shabbat with him.

It’s odd falling so helplessly in love with someone you never thought you could. But that’s still exactly what Steve felt himself doing. Falling for every conversation and every glance. Loving every touch no matter how long or short it lasted. Obsessing over the way Pony’s hands felt on his and how his lips spread like fire all over his body. Adoring watching his every move and listening to his every rant in a way he never thought he was capable of before. It is easy falling in love with someone once you let yourself.

And on Pony’s birthday Steve took him out on a small road trip where they watched the sunset together and talked like the day would never end. Held each other close like the other could somehow slip away in the night. But then again no matter how they spent time together, they never wanted it to stop. Whether it was late night movies or even later nights all night. Burger dates and walks home in sun showers. And Steve began to feel like he was in a movie too.

That was until he remembered far too late that it was summer. And summer ends. And that means Pony would have to go back to college. Go away. And that was almost enough for Steve to shove to the back of his mind until it became too much. Too heavy.

“Pone” Steve called, walking back in from where he had just finished up on a car, looking at where Ponyboy sat on top of the counter.

“Yeah?” Pony smiled and kicked his legs back and forth, leaning back in his hands. And as many times as Steve looked at him, he still found himself as shocked as ever.

Steve sat down on the waiting area chair, “when are you going back?”

The question had seemingly taken Ponyboy completely by surprise. Like he didn’t even know that he had to go back, that he had gotten so used to the life he now knew. The two and a half months had a bigger effect on his entire life than the other twenty years.

“God- I don’t know” Pony responded, his mouth going completely dry, “the end of the month probably.”

“That’s only a week and a half away, Pony” Steve finally said. As if he hadn’t been counting away at the days for the past month. Making it Ponyboy’s problem instead of his.

Pony didn’t respond. He didn’t know what he could say. Because the truth is, it was all he had been thinking about too. But with every kiss and slip of the hand he felt himself forgetting it all. He wanted to forget it all.

“I don’t want you to go” Steve sighed, “I know that’s selfish. And I know you still gotta go. Don’t argue, you have to. It means too much to you, to your brothers, to me. But I still don’t want you to go.”

“I know” Pony whispered out, looking down at his hands to avoid looking at Steve. Because he knew if he did, he would be a goner.

“Tell me to come with you.”

“What?”

“Tell me, don’t ask, tell me to come with you” Steve stood up slowly from his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. Suddenly feeling more vulnerable than ever, trying to read even the smallest expression to get any idea of what Ponyboy was thinking.

“Are you crazy?” Pony exclaimed, trying his hardest to hold back the smile that was effortlessly creeping onto his face.

“Probably, but I don’t care” Steve shrugged and took a step closer to Pony, still unsure of whether he was still able to scare him off or not.

Pony’s eyes were wide and his jaw slightly hung open, “Steve- that’s a really big decision-“

“I know” Steve confirmed.

“Shit” Pony laughed, looking up at the ceiling so that the tears welling upon his eyes didn’t spill over, “you’d really want to?”

Steve smiled genuinely, “I’d wanna do anything for you.”

Pony looked back at Steve, blinking away the tears because he was sure that crying in that moment wouldn’t do him any good down the road, “I don’t want you to give up what you have here-“

“What do I have here, Ponyboy? The same job I’ve had since I was a teenager and some shitty place right next to the one where my friend died? I don’t got nothing here worth staying for. Soda and the guys can live without me, easily. But I don’t think I can live without you” Steve ranted. A word vomit of things he didn’t even know he felt just yet.

Ponyboy smiled softly, “now what movie is that from?”

“Ours?”

Pony just laughed and looked at Steve with the most love filled eyes he had ever seen in his life. In such a way that made Steve feel like he could just burst any second now. Hell, he was going completely soft.

“Now that you got me making a total fool of myself, are you gonna tell me or not?” Steve stepped even closer, his gap tooth smile wider than Pony had ever seen it.

“Steve” Pony started and pulled Steve in so he was standing in between his legs, “I think you should come to college with me.”

“I think that sounds like a great idea, you’re a genius.”

Pony laughed and pulled Steve in against his lips by his chin. In for a soft kiss, savoring every moment that had led up to where they were now. He sat there cupping Steve’s face like it was his most prized possession, not even letting go when he pulled away.

“So it’s decided? You’re coming to college with me?” Pony hummed against Steve’s lips.

“Yes, and I can’t wait to hear all the stories” Steve smirked with a chuckle and pecked at Pony’s lips again.

“Hell no, that’s not happening” Pony warned, “I’ll tell you everything you need to know right now. I don’t trust them.” Shit, not even his roommate, who was sure to have his fair share of stories.

Steve just smiled and listened to every single thing Pony had to tell him up until his shift ended. Thanking god that no one’s car decided to act up for the rest of that day, because he could listen to Pony talk forever.

~

That week seemed to go by torturously fast, except for the whole telling the rest of the gang Steve was gonna move halfway across the country part. Two Bit called him whipped, and he was. Soda complained about him being bored like he didn’t have endless entertainment on his own. And Darry just told Steve that if he messed with Pony’s education that he’d skin him. Which he understood loud and clear.

He supposed they were all happy for him. Happy that him and Pony were gonna get as close to a normal life as possible, like anything that had happened that whole summer was normal. They still didn’t tell anyone how it all started, some secrets are better left alone.

They all helped Steve pack up his apartment, only a few boxes of things he wanted to take. Not having many possessions coupled with the fact that moving meant moving on was helpful in that way. And as cheesy as it sounded, that summer alone was enough to make him comfortable wherever he went.

Steve figured he could get a job at some body shop by Pony’s school, help him split rent on a small apartment by campus. He toyed with the idea of going to college himself. But the cost seemed far too much, so maybe down the road when they weren’t still figuring things out. Yet Pony made him feel like his whole life was figured out already. Like as long as he had him, what else could he need. But that still didn’t make goodbyes any easier.

Soda was the only one that cried, he was always a bit of a cry baby like that. Hugging Steve like he was going away forever and that phone calls didn’t exist. And Steve found it surprisingly hard to say goodbye to his best friend. He didn’t know quite what he expected, but it wasn’t that. He didn’t expect that one hug from Soda would remind him of his entire life. Every single memory, both good and bad. Which in some sort of heart wrenching way only made him wanna get away more. Soda was Tulsa. And Ponyboy was everywhere else.

Two Bit got them a roll of condoms as a going away gift. Laughing his ass off the whole time until Darry smacked him behind the head. Steve couldn’t really mad at him, if he was Two he might’ve even been jealous too. That’s what he guessed it was anyway. But he still seemed perfectly content in whatever he had going on, the same thing he had his whole life. Two Bit was Tulsa too.

Even Tim Shepard came over, throwing his arm around Darry in a blatantly obvious way the whole time. One that made Steve snicker. Pony smiled and hugged him, like he was thanking Tim for helping out Darry. And then Steve watched Pony say goodbye to Darry himself, it looked rather awkward and pathetic for a second but after that they seemed to melt into each other like any tension they had was now magically gone. Pony thanked him for everything and Darry just smiled and told him he was a good kid. Told him he was proud of him.

And although it would take an army to get Pony to admit it, it’s what he’d been waiting to hear not only all summer but all his life.

Darry hugged Steve goodbye too, holding him close so that whatever he whispered in Steve’s ear could only be heard by him and him only.

“Thank you.”

That was all. But it was enough to almost completely send Steve over the edge. He hugged him tighter and almost didn’t wanna let go until he felt Pony’s hand on the small of his back pulling him away.

He laughed at himself for making a bigger deal out of the whole thing than there needed to be. It wasn’t like it was goodbye forever. It was just hello to a new part of his life, one he couldn’t wait to start. Almost as if he was waiting for someone somewhere offscreen to yell ‘cut’.

The taxi pulled away from the house and Pony rested his head on Steve’s shoulder, intertwining his fingers with Steve’s against their laps.

They didn’t really need to say anything, most everything had already been said. And the closer they got to the airport the more any and all other words faded away.

The plane wasn’t very crowded but full enough for Steve to notice all the different people boarding it and taking their seats. It made him wonder where they all were going and for what purposes. If they were as nervously excited as he was. If they felt as lucky as he did. It made him glance over at Pony and wonder what he was thinking.

“I ain’t been on a plane before” Steve reminded his boyfriend, looking out the window as the plane taxied along the tarmac.

“You nervous?” Pony asked, his hand once again falling into Steve’s. A two piece puzzle that only took a second to complete.

“Not at all, not really” Steve shrugged with a smile and turned back to Ponyboy, “are you?”

“No” Pony smiled and leaned in, kissing the tip of Steve’s nose.

Steve grinned softly and shifted so he could rest his head against Pony’s, feeling more comfortable there than he had in his entire life. And then the plane took off.