Chapter Text
It was hard to hate something, someone so beautiful, but with Sharon Raydor, hate seemed a distinct possibility. Or maybe it wasn’t so much hate but anger. Even a few days after his name had been cleared, he still didn’t understand how Raydor could believe he was capable of murder. While part of him understood she had to remain neutral in her position, another part of him was pissed she only let hard facts rule her judgment.
They knew each other for years, and while he hadn’t been anywhere near close of being an exemplary officer, there were things he would never do. God, she had all but accused him of fucking murder.
So it wasn’t a surprise he was less than thrilled when said woman stepped into the elevator right behind him, greeting him curtly, each word precisely enunciated. Of course, she looked impeccable, too, not one hair out of place.
He knew there was another side to her, had seen her with her hair down, so to say, when her marriage with Jackson Raydor had still been young. Nowadays, he wondered if she even went to bed all dressed up, hair and make-up all perfect.
“So who do you intend to hassle today?” he asked, barely hiding his sarcasm.
For what couldn’t have been more than the fraction of a second, he saw hurt in her eyes, then she answered him with a level voice. “You of all people should know that I will always work hard to investigate the core of a matter, that I’m not out to cause trouble for anyone undeserving the… hassle, as you phrased it.”
There were several responses going through his mind; yet, he didn’t voice any of them. They weren’t alone after all, two officers from Vice were also in the elevator.
Didn’t the fact she had been the first one he called been a sign he was a good guy, was trying to do the right thing?
Instead of answering, he just shrugged, ignored her, until it was her turn to get out. Only that it didn’t end there. Out of an impulse he couldn’t quite explain, he got out after her. She turned, an eyebrow raised, but waited until the doors of the elevators had shut before she spoke.
“I didn’t know you had to get out on this floor. Or is there anything I can do for you, Lieutenant?”
“Yes, there is. You could explain to me why it is you believed me capable of murder.”
She sighed.
“Haven’t we talked about this already?”
“Not quite, no. Now, tell me, don’t you know better? I’m not a murderer. I’m a good cop. You used to be one, too.”
“Insulting me won’t get you anywhere. Never mind, the investigation is over, your name was cleared. I don’t see what else you could want from me.”
“How about an apology?”
Something akin to ire appeared in her eyes, and he would lie if he said he wasn’t a bit please he could provoke this reaction in such a stoic person.
“You do your job, Lieutenant, I do mine. I acted by the book, and the only thing I owed you was a fair investigation. You got one.”
He ran a hand through his hair, moved from one leg to the next before becoming utterly still, wanting to watch Sharon Raydor for every minute reaction to his next statement.
“Is there still a woman buried under all these rules and regulations? Isn’t there any space for the heart that should know the answer before a formal investigation confirms it?”
Yeah, he had hurt her alright. While her eyes remained calm, he had seen the way her fingers had twitched as if wanting to curl into a fist. Still, he wasn’t sorry. Not at all.
“Lieutenant… Andy,” she said, her voice just a little bit rougher than it usually was. “I know you feel hurt by my investigation. However, I would do it the very same way if I had to do it again.”
“I’m not surprised.”
“I… There was more than one investigation where I wanted to believe in an officer’s innocence, where I knew the officer for a long time, and still had to find out they were dirty. Life is not just black and white.”
He snorted.
“Says the one who sticks to her oh-so precious rules no matter what.”
“Yes, the rules don’t leave room to be bent at will, and it’s good that they don’t. But I’m not blind, I know that life can throw you curveballs, that sometimes, the promise of some extra money or the wish for revenge can make you blind to what would be the right way.”
“And now you want a fucking medal for being such a good and law-abiding cop?”
Sharon sighed. “I see we don’t see eye-to-eye. I can’t help the way you feel about procedure or about me. But how about you and I just agree to disagree and go our own ways again?”
“What else.” Without any further word, he turned his back, called for the elevator. The next few seconds seemed to stretch themselves beyond their means, but finally, he heard the telltale click of Sharon’s heels disappearing in the distance.
It was his fingers that curled into a fist now. What had life made out of this woman? He still knew how she looked when she laughed loudly, when she turned men’s heads because she arrived for her shift in jeans. Now, there was just the shell of the woman he thought he knew with glimpses of her peeking through from time to time.
It shouldn’t bother him. Taking a deep breath, he berated himself for even caring. Sharon had been right, though. They were done… for the moment, and with any luck, it would be a long time until this woman graced the realm of Major Crimes once more.
He got on the elevator, waited until the door had closed before he leaned back against its wall, closing his eyes for a moment, willing himself to let go of the anger. There were more important things to think about, their latest case, the baseball game he wanted to watch this weekend… Almost smiling, he forgot about Sharon Raydor.