Chapter Text
Arthur’s attention drifts from whatever Lance is saying as his phone lights up with a notification; Merlin’s name flashing on the iMessage banner. Arthur opens the message, a snort escaping him as he reads the text.
Code RED. will be there soon.
He reacts to the message with the “ha ha” option before he places his phone back down.
“Merlin and his new thing will be here soon,” He informs the table. The second the last word is out his mouth, said man walks into the pub. There’s a guy walking behind him, holding his hand tightly. He’s shorter than Merlin and has a truly unfortunate haircut. His clothes are awful and he looks like a besotted fool.
Arthur has to bite his lower lip just to keep his mouth shut.
“Hey guys, this is Mark. Mark, this is everyone,” Merlin gestures, dropping down into the space next to Arthur.
Gwaine shifts on the bench, making room for Mark to fit in so that he’s sitting directly opposite Merlin. From the way Merlin’s legs brush against Arthur’s, Arthur can tell they’re playing footsie under the table.
“Come on Merlin, surely you can do better than that. I’m Gwen,” Gwen greets with a sweet smile and goes on to point out everyone individually.
“Oh, give him a break, Guinevere. You know Merlin has absolutely no manners,” Arthur grins, nudging Merlin’s shoulder with his.
“Oi! I have plenty of manners, I’ll have you know,” Merlin objects as he steals Arthur’s beer and takes a sip, making a face at the aftertaste.
Arthur stares at him pointedly which he steadfastly ignores.
“So,” Leon turns to Mark. “How long have you and Merlin known each other?”
“We matched on tinder a few weeks ago and have been getting to know each other since, right babe?”
“Mhm,” Merlin hums in confirmation around another mouthful of beer, screwing up his face again.
“You do know that you can get yourself a drink to your liking at the bar?” Arthur drawls sarcastically, snagging his beer back and bringing it to his lips.
“I know,” Merlin responds, taking the beer from Arthur’s outstretched hand.
Arthur rolls his eyes fondly. “Free-loader.”
Merlin scrunches his nose, leaning against Arthur’s shoulder as Arthur drapes his hand over the back of Merlin’s seat.
“Try again.”
“Gold-digger.”
“Eh,” Merlin tsks. “Hate to break it to you but your insults are lacking. It needs some creativity.”
“Says the guy who thinks ‘prat’ and ‘dollop head’ are good insults,” Arthur scoffs and Mark laughs.
“I’ve heard him say ‘clotpole’ too. Idiot,” He says warmly, shaking his head at Merlin.
“How dare you?” Arthur fumes, eyebrows furrowing as he glares at Mark who stares at him in confusion. “You can’t talk to him like that.”
“Um, I was just joking, mate,” Mark replies meekly.
“First of all, I’m not your mate. Secondly, no one is allowed to insult Merlin like that. He’s sensitive.”
“But you’ve been insulting him since we got here!” Mark defends, jaw dropping in indignation.
“Yes,” Arthur says slowly as though he was speaking to someone particularly stupid. “Because he’s my best friend so I’m allowed to.”
“But he’s my boyfriend!”
“Okay,” Arthur allows. “But out of the two of us, I’m the one willing to take a bullet for him.”
“It’s true,” Merlin injects solemnly, turning to look at Arthur starry-eyed. “He actually did take a bullet for me.”
Arthur preens at him then turns back to Mark smugly.
“Oh for heaven’s sake,” Morgana huffs. “You were ten and it was a paintball bullet.”
“But we didn’t know that,” Merlin stresses. “Which means he jumped in front of the bullet for me thinking it was a real one and it’s the thought that counts.”
“Wait, you two are being real right now?” Mark asks, eyebrows raised.
“I don’t take lightly to some asshole verbally abusing the people I care about,” Arthur grits out angrily.
“Look, I respect that, man,” Mark holds his hands up in a placating gesture. “Merlin, babe, will you please tell him it’s not that deep?”
Merlin stares at him, head still on Arthur’s shoulder. “I don’t know, Arthur’s usually right about these things.”
“Oh my God, you two cannot be for real! It was a joke! I didn’t actually mean anything by it,” Mark groans in frustration.
“That’s what you say but people often hide their insults in the form of jokes and I won’t stand for it,” Arthur continues on his tirade and Merlin turns his face into the sleeve of Arthur’s shirt so that Mark can’t see his face.
“Okay, you know what? I’m not dealing with this. Merlin, if you want to talk, you have my number but I’m out,” Mark informs him as he makes an exit.
Arthur watches him walk out the door before he lets loose the laughter that he’s been holding back since he got Merlin’s text. It only takes a second for Merlin to join him and soon they’re gasping for air.
“Thanks for that, I thought he’d never leave,” Merlin pats Arthur’s chest as he leans back against his seat.
“Anytime. That was fun,” Arthur grins at him.
“You two are fucking psychotic,” Morgana decides and the entire table nods in agreement, staring at them as though they’ve completely lost it.
“No way. I’ve been trying to get rid of him forever but he just wouldn’t quit,” Merlin explains.
“How’d you even find him?” Gwaine asks. “You don’t have tinder so his story’s bull.”
“I hooked up with him at a club and then it turns out he was the barista at the coffee shop I went to the next day. He asked for my number and I didn’t know how to say ‘yeah no I just wanted the sex please leave me alone’ politely so I ended up giving it to him and then the rest is history.”
“See, this wouldn’t happen if you took me up on my friends with benefits offer,” Gwaine admonishes and Arthur narrows his eyes at him, arm tightening around Merlin’s shoulder.
“Shut up, Gwaine,” Merlin says lightly and Gwen tsks at them.
“You men are awful. That poor boy didn’t deserve that.”
“Oh please, none of that would’ve happened if he hadn’t tried to get a relationship out of a one night stand. Who does that?” Arthur objects and even Morgana tilts her head in agreement.
There’s a moment of silence before Merlin breaks it.
“So, who’s buying the next round?” He stares pointedly at Arthur who shoves him off the seat but goes to buy the drinks nonetheless.
-
Arthur walks into Merlin’s room and unceremoniously drops face-first onto his bed, groaning into the sheets.
“That bad, huh?” Merlin asks sympathetically.
Arthur raises his head to gaze at Merlin pitifully. “She cried, Merlin. Like she fucking started sobbing the second I rolled out of the bed. I don’t understand. She knew this was a booty call, she’s the one who called me in the first place! But when I told her that, she started throwing shit at me and yelling because apparently her last boyfriend treated her like a hookup and she expected better from me and blah blah blah. Why is it so hard to find people to just have sex with? Why do they always want more?”
Merlin sighs, sliding down so he’s lying next to Arthur. “Tell me about it. If I wanted the relationship drama, I’d look for a relationship.”
Arthur hums in agreement, rolling over onto his back. He turns to Merlin, eyes narrowing at the look on his face.
“I know that look, what are you thinking about?”
“Gwaine’s friends with benefits offer,” Merlin responds honestly and Arthur sits up.
“Oh no. Absolutely not. There’s no way in hell,” Arthur argues vehemently.
“Why not? I’m sure he’s good in bed and he knows it wouldn’t be anything serious.”
“Merlin, listen to me,” Arthur grabs Merlin by his shoulders and hauls him into a sitting position. “Sleeping with Gwaine is a bad idea.”
“But I’m so tired of dealing with those creeps out there,” Merlin whines and Arthur rolls his eyes.
“That is the absolute worst reason to sleep with Gwaine. I mean, honestly, Merlin. If you’re going to sleep with any of your friends, obviously I’m the best option.”
Merlin gapes at him. “Come again?”
“I mean, think about it. We’ve known each other since we were kids, there’s literally nothing we don’t know about each other, we live together so it’d be awfully convenient. I’m hot and exceptional at sex and there’s no way either one of us would ever catch feelings. It’d be the perfect setup.”
“You do have a point,” Merlin agrees and Arthur narrows his eyes at him.
“Are we being serious right now?”
“I’m down if you are,” Merlin shrugs, eyeing the way his adam’s apple bobs as he swallows.
“Well then,” Arthur says, voice husky as he stares at Merlin contemplatively. “I guess that’s that.”
And then he bridges the distance between them, pressing his lips to Merlin’s. When Merlin doesn’t push him away or recoil in disgust, he bites down on Merlin’s lower lip.
Merlin crawls into his lap, hands running over Arthur’s shoulders before they grab onto his hair. Arthur wraps his arm around Merlin’s waist and pulls him closer, parting Merlin’s lips with his tongue.
“Fuck,” Merlin gasps out between breaths as Arthur pushes him down onto his back, attaching his lips to the pale skin on Merlin’s neck. “Arthur.”
Merlin lets out a moan as Arthur finds his sweet spot and starts sucking. He grabs a hold of Arthur’s ass and squeezes, causing Arthur to nip at his neck in retribution.
Arthur pulls away to look at him. His golden hair is a mess, strands standing every-which-way. His eyes are dark and glazed over with lust, mouth shiny and swollen from the force of their kisses. Merlin has never seen anyone look sexier than he does in that moment.
“You sure you want to do this?”
“If you leave me here, I swear to anyone listening, I will murder you in your sleep,” Merlin grounds out, fingers working on unbuttoning Arthur’s shirt.
Arthur laughs, leaning down to continue his ministrations.
-
“That was the best sex I’ve ever had,” Arthur confesses as he buries his head in the crook of Merlin’s neck.
“I didn’t even know it could feel like that,” Merlin agrees, sounding a bit dazed.
“Friends with benefits?” Arthur asks in clarification.
“Friends with benefits,” Merlin confirms. “You’ve officially ruined me for anyone else so it’s the least you can do.”
“Come on,” Arthur jostles his arm, pushing himself up and off the bed. “Shower.”
“In a minute,” Merlin whines.
“No. Now. You’re going to fall asleep there and we’re disgusting,” Arthur argues, dragging Merlin off the bed.
“How are you so full of energy after all that?” Merlin grumbles, following him to their shared bathroom.
“I’m on a sex-induced high, I think. Happy drug and all that.”
Merlin laughs, allowing Arthur to press him against the wall and kiss him as the hot water runs over their bodies.
“I can’t believe we could’ve been doing this all along if I had just listened to Gwaine and his stupid idea,” Merlin grins as they begin to wash each other.
“Oh, God. You can’t tell him that. As a matter of fact, we can’t tell any of them or we’ll never live it down,” Arthur realizes in horror.
“That’s fine with me. There’s something about doing this behind everyone’s back that makes it even sexier,” Merlin admits, pressing a kiss to Arthur’s nape as he scrubs his back.
“Mmm,” Arthur hums. “Don’t tell me that’s a kink for you.”
“And what if it is?” Merlin whispers in his ear, voice low and rough.
“Merlin,” Arthur groans. “Don’t tempt me, I don’t know if I have it in me to go another round.”
Merlin laughs, loud and carefree as he steps out of the shower and begins to dry his skin. “I already know this is the best decision we’ve ever made.”
Arthur smiles at him, doing the same. Merlin slinks out the door and walks the few steps to his room, groaning dramatically.
“What?” Arthur calls from his room as he pulls on some underwear.
“Why didn’t we do this in your room? My sheet’s are all dirty now.”
Arthur rolls his eyes, hearing the pout in Merlin’s voice. “Just leave it and sleep in here. We can deal with that in the morning.”
Merlin appears at the doorway, wearing nothing but his pajama bottoms that have dinosaurs on them. Arthur shakes his head at him and Merlin grins cheekily in response as he flops onto the bed.
Arthur switches off the light, then settles himself beneath the covers. Merlin snuggles closer, plastering himself to Arthur’s back and slinging an arm around his waist, holding him tightly.
“G’night,” He mumbles, sounding half-asleep already and Arthur’s lips quirk in amusement.
“Night. Idiot.”
He sinks into Merlin’s embrace and allows sleep to take him.