Work Text:
It was a rainy day.
It felt like the rain, his thoughts full of heavy clouds and shadows became stronger with every hour passing.
He most definitely wasn’t sure if he would be able to see yet another sunrise, or if the moon was going to be the last beautiful thing he will have witnessed.
It was storming up there. The wind caused his hair to keep falling into his face, his hoodie was soaking wet and the knuckles of his hands started turning blue.
The streets were empty and their lights not working properly; he sat in complete darkness.
Only the moon gave him somewhat of light.
It was just him and the moon. The moon and him - ‘two weird creatures’, he reflected.
He didn’t understand several things.
Life, and living was one of them.
He’s not quiet sure if he ever lived, or if it was just painful existing in a world he didn’t fit in.
Existing in a world where he received pain. Nothing, but pain.
All he did tonight was waiting for a sign. Waiting for a sign that it will get better, that [the] pain isn’t gonna last forever, that he will be happy; he was kneeling at this point, hands folded and eyes closed; praying he was somehow gonna receive a sign to keep him going.
Praying for someone to hear him out.
Steps kept getting closer as he did so. He didn’t notice them just until he suddenly felt a hand resting on his shoulder, and heard a deep, raspy voice speaking up.
„What are you doing up here, all alone?“, the man asked emotionless. The kneeling boy didn’t respond.
„Do you need someone to talk to?“, he asked again, this time slightly worried.
The stranger couldn’t tell why he worried for - in fact - another stranger at all.
However, the only verbal response he’s got was silent sobbing.
„Well, alright then“, the dark haired man mumbled and sat down next to the still kneeling boy. „I won’t leave until you get up again. Do you want a cigarette?“
Lifeless eyes looked up to the man. He nodded, and changed from kneeling to sitting.
„Here you go. I’m Levi, by the way. Do you need a lighter?“
Again, just nodding.
Levi handed him the lighter worried. Shaking hands grabbed it nervously and lit the cigarette.
The rain got heavier with every other moment passing, the boys knuckles were lilac and his hoodie was more of a swimsuit than a normal piece of closing by now.
Exhaling the smoke was the first thing in awhile that made the boy feel alive.
It hurt his lungs and throat.
„Thank you for the Cigarette, Levi.“, he said blushing.
„No worries. So, I am gonna ask again: what brought you up here? I don’t know anyone who just decides to climb on some rusty rooftop in a stormy night.“, Levi sighed and then continued, „expect for you. And well, obviously me. I don’t even know why I am here, and what exactly made me wanna go up all the way.“
Levi sighed, and exhaled smoke once again.
The boy cleared his throat, and looked at Levi for reassurance before speaking up. The latter just nodded.
„I am simply tired of searching for the shore. I keep getting crashed down by the waves, and any time I try to stand up it just gets worse. It feels like it will never end.“, he explained with hands just as shaky as his voice.
His cigarette fell down the roof.
The rain became heavier.
Neither of them dared to speak up.
The boy wondered if this was the sign he asked for; if Levi was the sign he asked for.
Perhaps he was. „I am not going to tell you it all will turn out okay, or you will never have to get trough a struggle in your life ever again after you’ve survived this storm ´cause that would be a lie“, Levi said, looking up to the sky, „but I am gonna tell you a little bit of truth instead. Life will never be a fair game, and there’s always going to be something trying to break you into pieces; and you will not be able to do anything against it; life simply doesn’t work like that. It isn’t up to you.“, he said slightly frustrated. His eyes are closed, head hanging down. „But do you know what’s up to you? How you handle this shitshow, better known as life, at the end of the day. You can either let it continue to control your actions and feelings, or you get up and fight back. I am aware that the chemical imbalances in our brains sadly don’t work that easy, but any day where you are still able to think is a win. You’ve won against life just once again. Keep it in your heart. Think, think, think.“
Levi was gone just before the boy could respond.
It now felt like he never was with him in the first place. The place next to him was taken by a puddle caused by the heavy rain.
It wasn’t possible for anyone to sit, or even stand there.
The only thing Levi left were cigarette smoke, and a slight smell of hope in the air.