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He found her sleeping on the grass, the harsh midday sunlight filtered through the thick of the leaves caressed her face.
Pink hair splayed over and tangled in the grass at the riverbank where she lay on her back. Her fingers were interlaced, resting on top of her abdomen as she breathed evenly. Even from the tree branch he was resting on a couple feet away, he could see a tiny smile playing at her lips.
The last time she looked this peaceful was when she was in his bed one morning one year ago.
When the morning light coming through his apartment window caressed her face.
Pink hair splayed over his pillow, her legs tangled with his under the covers where they were snuggled up against each other. Her fingers absently playing with the newly cut hair at the nape of his neck while he enjoyed her breath on his skin as she laughed. When her smile had been so close, it was impossible not to reach out and touch it with his lips.
With his chakra still concealed, Kakashi hopped from the branch as quietly as he could despite his injuries, walking as silently as he could so as not to wake his former student.
A lot can happen in one year. And a lot did. He could see it in her skin that had dulled most likely from lack of time and effort to maintain it. He could see it in the tired lines under her eyes. He could see it in the scar across her cheek and those on her hands... which was strange to him considering Sakura was an excellent healer.
It was especially clear how different things were one year later now that Haruno Sakura was no longer resting under green sheets with shuriken prints. In place of the covers they once shared in his tiny apartment was a black cloak with red clouds.
No one knew what it was exactly pushed her into this betrayal. But Kakashi knew it was more than just one thing. It was the little things she had told herself were too trivial to deal with. It was the little things she had pushed down and locked away in the back of her head.
He knew about the little things. It was the reason she sought him out in the first place.
It was the little things that accumulated over time before her healing hands could no longer handle the pain of betrayal, abandonment, and disappointment. It was the little things that finally grew into a monster in her mind—a monster she'd chosen to listen to instead of slay with the same hands she killed a member of the organization she had joined.
The same member she'd replaced in Akatsuki.
Kakashi stopped in the middle of his tracks as he noticed the slight delay in the rising of her chest. Gone was her regular breathing (which he now realized must have been controlled all this time). She was awake. She probably was for some time now and she knew he was there.
From experience, he knew her partner should be close by too but he just didn't know how close. And he was a beat too late as he reached for his kunai pouch to grab a blade.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you, yeah," a voice said from behind him.
Kakashi didn't acknowledge the boom boom expert (who was probably standing within arm's length behind him) but he did heed the warning. He was in no condition to fight after traveling for two days straight from a mission that left him recovering in a dingy old clinic barely equipped to treat a dislocated shoulder.
He shouldn't even be here.
But when a flash of pink caught his eye as he was running through the forest on his way back to Konoha, he couldn't help but check and see if it was indeed the same shade of pink of the hair that he woke up with a mouthful of one year ago. He was so eager to see her again that he hadn't thought through what he would do if it did turn out to be her.
"Didn't think you to be the jealous type, Deidara," she drawled before finally opening her eyes to look up at the foliage that sheltered her from the scorching heat.
"I'm not," he answered dryly. "But when you're face-to-face the man whose name you've been screaming into my pillow at night, it kinda puts you on edge." Kakashi couldn't see his face but he could feel some bitterness in his words. His mind was torn between fixating on the fact that she was sleeping with this asshole and the fact that... it was his name she cried out instead of her... apparent partner's.
The wind blew, pushing the branches and the leaves to dance. And with the swaying of the tree did the shadows on her face move, briefly exposing to the light her green orbs that glinted with passive menace. She didn't even blink. As if her eyes had already seen things more painful than direct sunlight.
"Sakura."
There was no helping the tightness in his voice that stemmed from the tightness in his chest.
His tongue in no way dared to even speak her name since she left. How could he when just hearing her name from all those midnight meetings and mission briefings was already too much for his heart to handle?
But right now, it was all he could say. And somehow, it was all that it took to finally get her to turn to him. For a split second, he could have sworn he saw worry pass over her features but it could just be a trick of the light and shadows now dancing wildly over her as the wind blew stronger.
Tired eyes regarded him for a few good seconds before she finally pushed herself off the grass and rose to her feet. The dark cloak draped over her legs a few seconds ago fell to the grass, momentarily shed and forgotten.
Yet even without the cloak, he barely recognized her. Her hair was a couple inches longer, the ends of her locks messy and carelessly cut just like her partner's. She was fuller (he heard Akatsuki paid generously in exchange for the morally questionable jobs they offered) but a lot more defined (did she have time to spar or was it from constantly having to fight for her life?).
"Kakashi-sensei," she greeted, her voice cold enough to provide relief from the midday heat. "You've met Deidara."
He nodded once, suddenly wondering if the arm he'd torn off had been returned to where it belonged or if the man standing behind him was still missing a limb. "I've had the displeasure."
"I'm no expert but I don't think you can use the word like that," chuckled the blond behind him.
Sakura's lips thinned in annoyance. Ah, at least her temper was the same if not shorter.
Her eyes quickly darted to her partner. With one commanding nod of her head, he heard the sound of steel on steel (probably a kunai being put back in its pouch) before he felt each of his wrists rouhgly taken in rough hands. Well, that answered the arm question then.
There was no resistance on his part. If experience was any indicator, Akatsuki hardly ever killed anyone unless they were paid to do so... or provoked. They certainly didn't have any business with the Copy Nin as far as he knew. If he played his cards right, he'd probably be able to get back to the village sooner and report his run-in with Sakura to her shishou.
Of course, this was just him convincing himself that the only reason he didn't resist was so he could look at her—be with her—a little longer. Even if it was just for a few seconds. Or minutes. Or hours.
It didn't take long for Deidara to bind his wrists with the same material he used to make his explosives. With another look from the former Leaf nin, the blond walked off some distance behind Sakura just far enough to be out of earshot but still close enough to watch them. Of course, he didn't leave the two of them without warning Kakashi about how the slightest force could set off the clay he used to lock his hands.
"You look like hell," she finally said after a while, eyes roaming over the sorry state he was in. He hadn't looked in a mirror since he left the clinic in the same bloodied vest and tattered sweater but he was pretty sure two days of travel did not do him any favors.
Kakashi shrugged. "Well, I heard being tasked to infiltrate and take down a small crime group by yourself and getting chased by bounty hunters on your way back to the village does that to you," explained the Copy Nin before he nodded toward her. "Besides, I could say the same thing about you."
Yes, there were hardly any wrinkles in the dark halter top she was wearing over purple pants that clearly wasn't hers (it looked a bit loose around her waist). But they were both aware he wasn't pertaining to how presentable she was right now.
She had seen hell. It was clear in the bags and the lines under the dulled greens of her eyes and the smile that refused to stretch more than an inch. She had danced for the devil. It was clear in the scars on her hands and was that a burn on her leg? She had danced with a devil. And Deidara's words sent a confusing wave of pain and relief through him.
"Yes, joining an international criminal organization and constantly being on the run does that to you."
He nodded once. "Clearly, we've both seen better days."
The pinkette paused. He could see it in her eyes how she was wrestling herself about something but whatever it was she was conflicted about was lost on him. The resolve in her eyes didn't take too long to return.
As she circled him like a predator, his eyes went to Deidara who bent over to pick up the cloak she had left on the grass. The blond turned to watch them, his own cloak swaying in the wind as he watched them intently. Well, it was really more like he was watching her particularly. And the apprehension in his almond eyes was not lost on Kakashi.
He felt one hand on his shoulder push him to his knees. He didn't resist despite the jolt of pain that shot through his entire leg when he rested his weight on his knee. The hand on his shoulder remained but her touched lightened before he felt her push her chakra into his system—a feeling all too familiar yet strange.
"You need a haircut," she spat, her voice a little quieter than it was just a couple seconds ago.
"If I'd known I'd be running into you, I would have gotten a trim and asked for a change of clothes at the clinic," he said, his voice matching hers as he felt her chakra alleviating the pain in his every body before she began to fix him up.
He heard her click her tongue. "What fucking clinic let you leave like this?"
"Oy, Sakura!" Deidara interjected, brows furrowed at the two of them speaking softly. "We're burning daylight! It'd be pretty hard to track down your target in the dark."
"Yeah, yeah," she growled, slowly withdrawing her chakra from his body before moving her hand from his shoulder to the back of his head. "Better make this quick then. You get one question before you black out."
Why did you leave? What are you doing? Are you out of your mind? Did you even love me? How does it feel to follow Sasuke down this road? Do you ever think of me? Are you ever coming home?
A hundred million questions raced through his mind in a span of seconds. Questions he wanted answers to. Questions he wanted to ask on behalf of Tsunade, Naruto, Ino, and everyone else back home. Questions he had no business asking. Questions she was going to have to answer if she ever did come back.
The man standing under the tree he had found Sakura napping under cleared his throat as he cast an unamused look over at the two of them. And suddenly, there was nothing else he could think of.
"So, you and Deidara?"
The pinkette behind him huffed. Though he couldn't see her face, Kakashi was confident that the breath she let out was accompanied by an eye roll.
"Don't worry," she cooed. The Copy Nin totally missed the way Sakura smiled sweetly at the blond who surely was too far to hear Sakura's hushed words. "It's you I think of every time. And I make sure he knows it. Get home safe, Kakashi."
Her words and the hand caressing the uncut hair on the nape of his neck was the last thing he knew before he blacked out (as she promised).
When he opened his eyes once more, he was met with the sight of moonlight and the night sky peeking through the spaces between the leaves dancing in the evening breeze.
One year after she left, he found her just sleeping on the grass. Barely a few minutes after, she left him unconscious in the same spot he found her. And he could honestly say this was the most rested he had been since the night she turned her back on them.
His head was throbbing but that seemed to be the worst of it. Gone were the strains, the sprains, the wounds, and broken bones. Her healing hands had taken every ounce of pain from his body.
Not his heart though. Or did she?
Get home safe.
Home, she called it. Not Konoha. Sakura was usually very careful with her language (no one knows her way around hurtful words better than she did). And he told him to get home safe, not to get to Konoha safe.
Maybe she could convince herself that she was lost in this path she'd taken by refusing to fully heal the wounds (probably from missions where she had been forced to do unspeakable acts) that now left scars all over her hands, her legs, her face. But the clean job she'd done on his injuries told him she was still in there.
She still knew her way back.
And he would do everything he could to pry her from that guy, out of that fucking cloak, and back to Konoha. Back in his arms. Back under shuriken-printed sheets. Back to the place she still called home.
"Fixing him up was one thing," her partner started as he climbed atop the gigantic clay bird he created before reaching down to give her a hand. "But did we really have to chase these guys down? I thought you wanted to tail Itachi, yeah."
"We're meeting with Leader tomorrow," she said. "It shouldn't be hard to get some clues as to where he may have sent Itachi-san."
It was dangerous to be asking any more questions about her fellow Akatsuki member when she was already under suspicion with the higher-ups. But it would well be worth the risk once she found what she was looking for. Because where Uchiha Itachi was, his little brother was sure to track him down.
Besides, that's what Deidara was there for. She gave him a good time and in return, he gave her a decent cover from Leader and an easy way to follow Itachi. Despite the huge help he'd been over the last couple months, she was pretty sure her partner was still getting the better end of the bargain.
Sakura took a good look at her handiwork before allowing Deidara to hoist her up their mode of transport. As she learned to do over the last couple months, she sat a few feet behind him and clung to the clay with her chakra so as not to fall as the giant bird jerked forcefully before taking off.
The pinkette spared one last glance as they reached some height above the clearing where seven bodies now lay bloodied and lifeless. Sakura wasn't usually one for gratuitous violence but there were already a lot of people she'd been paid to kill against her will. She figured she might as well take a couple lives from bounty hunters who did not deserve to breathe.
As soon as they were flying among the clouds, Deidara allowed the bird to take its own course and scooted closer to her.
"How long's it been since you last saw anyone from Konoha?"
Sakura thought back hard. "A while. Seven months since the last time they sent out a team and lost me completely, thanks to you."
"When was the last time you saw that guy?"
"Around a year ago," came her reply. "The night I left the village."
"You know, he's not going to stop until he gets you back, right?" chuckled Deidara. But the agitation he was trying to play off coolly was too thick to conceal with light laughter. "I could see it in his stupid face. Even though half of it was covered."
The pinkette tried not to smile at her partner calling her former sensei and lover's face stupid. She'd seen what was under that mask and it was far more beautiful than anything she had ever seen. Some days, it was all she thought of to escape the ugliness of the reality she had chosen.
"I'd like to see him try."
Deidara huffed at her in amusement, thinking that she had meant it to be an impossible challenge. But Sakura meant it. She wanted him to try and take her back home. Because if there was anyone who could pull her out she would allow to pull her out of this hole she'd dug for herself, it was him.
It was why she insisted on resting by the riverbank. She knew he was near. So, she lay under the tree, waiting. Until she fell asleep on the grass, dreaming of morning light coming in through a small window and shuriken-printed sheets keeping her warm.
"I just might kill him if he does."
"You hurt one hair on him and I will end you."