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Aguero watched the forested scenery pass him by as the carriage jostled along the road, watching as the leaves caught the gold of the setting sun and how the shadows crept along the ground and up the trees to try to reach the sky. The shadows might have been trying to get back home, or perhaps the shadows were trying to steal the sunlight that the leaves delicately held.
It may be childish to give inanimate objects personification, but he was trying to keep his mind occupied. The stifling atmosphere that he was currently being subjected to was torture at its finest. While it was nice to escape from the Khun Kingdom, he could still feel his mother’s gaze in the haughty expression his sister was giving to the window of the carriage and the immense pressure from Maria despite the heavy book that was entertaining her in her lap. While he would normally strive to find common conversation to ease his sisters into something akin to calmness, this sea of nerves and tension wasn’t going to ebb any time soon.
This was their biggest and possibly only chance to score not just another territory to claim for their own but to seal an alliance that would keep them in the Jahad Empire as well. The Grace Kingdom may not be friends with the Emperor, but there had been talks and rumors that would imply that the Grace Twins were friends with the Crown Prince, Wangnan Ja. If the Khun Kingdom could get their paws into that alliance, their position as one of the 10 Great Kingdoms would remain untouched. The amount that was riding on a successful mixture, as well as a successful marriage, was staggering.
Of course, all of this was to Aguero’s plan. He was the one who heard these rumors and presented them to his family as mere fact. The wind was blowing in Wangnan Ja’s favor, and the Grace Twins were going to be the first ones to climb that ranking before looking at other kingdoms and deciding if they were going to keep the 10 or if the three of them were going to change the world.
Considering Aguero’s plan, the family quickly decided to escort his pouting sister and Maria, a half-sister, from the harem. If either girl managed to catch a Grace Twin’s eye and marry into the family, the girl's mother would be set for life as Edhan’s second queen, if not a queen mother. It depended on how generous Edhan was feeling that day and whether or not he had the energy to hire someone to off his wife or if he would do it himself. It was a common practice for Edhan to get bored of his women, and the queen mothers changed as frequently as the wind would change direction.
Aguero thought it ridiculous. The Grace Twins undoubtedly were pushed into this arrangement because of the rumors that were spreading like wildfire. If Aguero were a gambling man, he would place his bets that if they didn’t have the rumor mill churning, they would be quite pleased to be on their lonesome. Attractive single men, forever the envy and the lust of both genders.
If Aguero were a betting man, he would wager that the Twins would play nice with the women that would flock to their banquet halls and pretend that they were overwhelmed with the many prospects and would need some time to think before being coerced into a decision.
A decision Aguero wouldn’t mind making for them. If he played his cards right, he could get both of his sisters into the Twin’s bed, and he could establish himself in good standing to help with advising. Anything to get away from the Kingdom and its oppressive nature.
“Goodness, you two,” the sudden snap of Maria’s book drew Aguero from his thoughts as he looked over to his sister, “you act as though we’re about to attend a funeral, not a ball.” Her lady in waiting took extensive care in her appearance. The lady in waiting tied her light blue hair with whimsical curls pinned to her head with wispy strands that framed her face and gave her complexion a childish facade. The corset tied around her waist wasn’t as tight as it should be, however, indicating that Maria undoubtedly bent herself over to make it harder for the lady-in-waiting to lace her breath and her ribcage tightly. The small detail would irritate anyone who was into prim and proper fashion and call it slightly. Aguero had half of the mind to stop the carriage and force Maria to fix it but knew that would end in a deadly fight of pouting lips and cold shoulders.
On the other hand, Isabela was dressed as though she were ready for war rather than the ball they were heading into. Her hair was coldly pulled back with an elegant grace of a Khun, showing her sharp features and personality. Her dress was also properly tied tight, her fan laying across her lap at the ready for her to give herself some much-needed air should she have a case of the vapors. She was glowering at Maria and the book that was in her lap, and Aguero could already hear the fight before it began.
“Only you would think that this was fun and games, sister.” Isabela snapped; her gaze was cold. “You’re too young to understand any of the predicament that we’re in. I suggest you cut your losses and have your fun and allow me and my brother to do our part in keeping our Kingdom from falling into the wrong hands.”
“The Ha Kingdom, you mean? You are aware that the Ha Kingdom is already part of the Grace Kingdom, yes?” Maria asked, making Isabela flush crimson. “Or did you by chance forget that Princess Yuri was adopted into the Kingdom before she became a Jahad queen consort? I would be careful making that opinion known, sister . Lest you fall into the wrong hands yourself.”
Aguero coughed into his hand to hide his snicker as Isabela struggled to find a reason to debate. It was true, while the Ha Kingdom and the Khun Kingdom would rather go to war over something trivial than to ever ally, if they were the chosen princesses, they would have to get along prettily with the Ha Kingdom. “Come on now.” It was best to play mediator for this. He didn’t want to wind up dead, and he certainly didn’t want the Grace Princes’ first impression of them to be torn clothes and bruised cheeks. “Let us not focus on that for right now. Otherwise, you will lose before we even begin. Remember, just because the Princes are known for their naivety does not mean that they are not known for their perception. Let us pretend that this is indeed one of many balls that we go to and put the political stakes in the background. Enjoy the night freely while remembering that you are catering to the princes’ desires and whims. I suggest, Maria, that you go and try to meet with Prince Viole. He is a quiet sort and most likely bookish, just like you. From what I heard, he is shy in nature and will undoubtedly warm up to your deposition. Isabela, you should try your hand with Prince Bam. He -ah- may be more your league.”
In honesty, Aguero didn’t know which Prince would work with Isabela. While rumors were just rumors, it was hard to get an idea about which sister would have the better chance with which twin. Viole was an easy one; his shy nature and his lack of public appearance would work with Maria, who preferred to be in the shadows, to begin with. They would make an unsuspecting team should the need arise. Maria was known to be ruthless when crossed, and he was certain that Viole held the same demeanor.
While both sisters may not marry, Aguero knew that he could work it in their favor. It depended, however, on how willing Isabela was to let go some of her coolness in favor of false warmth.
“Of course,” Maria smiled, as Isabela bristled as she looked away from the two of them and muttered darkly underneath her breath. “I hope that the ball wouldn’t be too boring for you, brother dearest. You should try to do your own scouting.”
“I wish I could, but unfortunately, someone in this carriage is known for a temper, and the other one has a mother who has a temper,” Aguero said, causing Maria to fall into a fit of giggles and Isabela giving him such a look that Aguero should have been murdered by it. He flashed his sister a warm smile, an innocent look that made her squirm angrily before turning her gaze away sharply to the windows, her hands bunching her skirts into wrinkles.
Maria and Aguero exchange a mere look filled with amusement and slight worry before turning back to their own devices.
X
If there were one thing the Grace Kingdom was known for, it would be the lack of walls surrounding their homestead. Instead of ironed gates or deep moats, the kingdom relied on subtle patrol guards. They were mixed into the common folk and blended so well that unless a fight broke out in a tavern or perhaps in the middle of the main road, it would be hard to distinguish a guard from the common folk. While many complained of how inadequate it was, the fact remained that they had the strongest defenses and they had the better magic system. Khun had heard how quickly Prince Bam created a barrier that surrounded the kingdom in three seconds and how Prince Viole devastated the attackers in the same amount of time. The only one who came close to that sort of power was Emperor Jahad himself.
It helped that the buildings were clustered together like mosaic tiles. There were small winding alleyways that looked as though one could get lost if one didn’t know the way. Aguero could imagine Maria wandering these alleyways with common garb, attempting to understand the culture surrounding her and the people that she would come to rule as her own. Isabela would care little for these people, and Aguero was beginning to see that perhaps he would have to sway one of the Princes to Maria’s favor, as Isabela would not be a good fit here.
These people needed a kind queen, not an ice one.
“They don’t go for symmetry here, do they?” Maria commented as she peered out the window.
That was another factor that Aguero was seeing. Every building was a different size, small, short, tall, large. They weren’t lined up against a street and all the same height and size. Nor were they impersonal skyscrapers with too many windows and not enough blinds to shut the light out. If anything, this kingdom was personable, and dare he says it fun. One building had vines covering the upper right corner, spreading down towards the broken sign and winding past the windows. No one would think that was “quirky” in any kingdom but this one.
“Oh, good, I’m almost out of this carriage.” Isabela huffed, “Please stop trying to push me up against the glass, Maria. Contain yourself.”
Aguero didn’t have to look towards his sisters to know that Maria was sticking her tongue out at Isabela. They weren’t the only ones trying to peer through their windows. In every building, the curtains were drawn, and all of the common folk were watching with keen interest as to who was coming through the main roads. Aguero didn’t doubt that they recognized some of the carriages and had their own opinion about who the Princes should marry.
He had no doubts that his family was on the lowest tier of the commonfolk’s popularity poll. His gaze wandered from window to window, gauging reactions if he could. Most of them seemed to be apprehensive. They felt the same weight Aguero was feeling, but much to their misfortune, they were unable to do anything. It wasn’t like the Princes would allow anyone into their chambers to reject the mixer.
Though, Aguero wouldn’t put it past the twins to decide to allow the common folk to have opinions if only to try to stop the mixer for a time.
“How shall we introduce ourselves?” Isabela asked sharply, bringing Aguero back to the endless politics and struggles. “You were the one with a plan. You told us who we should introduce ourselves to, but not how.”
“You leave that part to me.” Aguero said stiffly, “I am supposed to be your chaperone. It’d be disgraceful to allow you to introduce yourselves.”
“Just remember that you’re supposed to make us look good.” Isabela sneered. “Before you go scouting for some sorry lady in waiting.”
“Or the butler,” Aguero added.
Isabela made a strangled noise, much like a cat being held too tight. Maria giggled again, and Isabela rounded onto her. “This isn’t a game!”
“No, but you’re taking this too seriously. Why, by the time the princes meet you, you’ll be swollen purple with rage. They wouldn’t find you very attractive with that color.” Maria chided.
“I should have murdered you during the Selection,” Isabela growled.
“But you didn’t, and that is yours to regret,” Maria replied simply.
“Look, alive ladies,” Aguero broke the argument quickly, “We’re at the castle now.”
The castle stood like an imposing fortress. While the yellow glow swept out of the windows, inviting a warm interior, the exterior wasn’t as welcoming. The castle stood in a smooth square; only the four towers of the castle were curved round. Up above on the walkway, Aguero could see silhouetted guards moving and exchanging posts, eyes never leaving the line of carriages that were moving to the castle gates.
At least, Aguero mused, the twins had some idea of safety and walled their castle. He didn’t doubt, however, that they would still let anyone in, common folk or otherwise, should they ask. If he went through the townspeople, he was certain near all of them would tell him that they have been through the castle and have met the princes directly.
“They’re going to get themselves killed,” Aguero muttered.
“Yeah, they are,” Isabela said, with a bit of a grimace.
“Oh, you both!” Aguero could envision Maria throwing her hands up in the air in defeat. He loved his sister and her optimism, but even she had to see how dangerous this was.
The carriage was stopped, and a gentleman wearing a black suit with twintails opened the carriage door. “Welcome to the Grace Kingdom. You may depart here and walk through the courtyard.”
Maybe, Aguero thought, the twins weren’t as dumb as he thought. While it would be customary for the carriages to get to the castle's steps, this would be the fastest way to determine if someone wasn’t supposed to be on the guest list.
Aguero first got out of the carriage, presenting his hand to help Isabela down first and then Maria. The humidity of the night warned Aguero of a stifling ballroom and an uncomfortable evening. Isabela gave the man standing at their carriage a simpering, helpless smile as she held onto her brother’s hand, and Maria gave him a full-blown grin before Aguero moved them towards the brick pathway up towards the castle.
The courtyard had a few flowers planted randomly around to give more flair, but Aguero could see that the flowers were merely decoration. Whoever did the landscaping didn’t have much of an eye for gardening, or perhaps the Twins hired someone on a lackluster day. There weren’t any statues of any famous poet, writer, or soldier. There was a sound of a fountain somewhere far off, but that was the only interior decoration that Aguero could fathom the courtyard to have.
Two gentlemen met them at the castle stairs with a clipboard and a quill. “Names?” One of them asked melodically.
“I highly doubt we need their names considering the hair color. They’re Khun's.” The person that spoke wasn’t either gentleman but a woman with vibrant red hair and a metallic blue staff at her back. Her dress was subtle baby pink with white accents on the bodice and corset. Her one crimson eye gazed upon them as if she knew exactly what their motives were. Her smile was just as cold and sharp as Aguero’s when he tried to hatch a plan. “Come in. The Princes have been expecting you.”
Aguero wouldn’t doubt that the woman was expecting them as well. Continuing to play the part of a good brother, Aguero led his sisters up the steps carefully so that they wouldn’t trip and headed inside.
“I wasn’t aware that women were allowed to fight in the Grace Kingdom,” Isabela whispered. “I thought that they were only around to look like dolls.”
“Careful with your assumption,” Aguero whispered back, “That can be your downfall in this marriage arrangement.”
“What is our guide’s name, if I may ask?” Maria asked, a bit loudly to catch the redhead’s attention.
“My name is Hwaryun, but don’t mind me. I’m merely escorting you to the ballroom and introducing you to Prince Bam and Prince Viole.” Hwaryun explained.
A private introduction? Aguero nearly balked. Had there been a conversation before the ball that the Khuns would provide a better alliance? He prayed fervently that was the case, but he couldn’t help but be skeptical. He would have thought that they would go after the Ha family since they already had an adoptive sister from the Kingdom who was adopted into the Jahad Empire. Surely they would be stronger if they chose that route.
Not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth, Aguero took the words at face value for now. He still couldn’t shake off the feeling that there was something more happening under the surface. They didn’t have much time to take in the sights before they were lead through to an open room where a band was already playing music. The people danced in the same manner, all with varying types of clothes and colors. They moved with the same steps, the same painted smiles, and the same timed swish of their skirts. The men were no better, bowing at the right moments, letting the woman rest their hand in their palm as they glided them through another series of twirls and steps. It all felt like a marionette show, where someone was holding the strings. Lifeless, formal, bland .
Hwaryun guided them around the edges of the dance floor where some of the wallflowers stood. The butlers were easily skirting around the tables with trays high over their heads, their faces just as expressionless as the dancers on the floor. The butlers were prompt with flutes filled with champagne and hors d'oeuvres , near in time with the music and the rests. Hwaryun guided them to a corner where the lights barely touched the corner of the room, where they were nearest to the platform where the band was playing. Tucked away in this corner was a large banquet table with two men were holding their glasses in a cavalier manner, their eyes tracking the sights, but Aguero could see that they stole their interest as Hwaryun came closer.
Neither Prince wore a circlet around their heads nor a crown. Viole’s hair was tied up high in a ponytail with a golden butterfly pin going through the top. His suit was the same dark black as everyone else’s in this vicinity, but his accents on the coat were tailored in gold. He didn’t wear a tie, nor a bow tie like most of them was wearing; instead, he wore a jabot, and the same textured frills adorned his wrists.
His brother was less formal. Prince Bam had his hair in a slicked-back ponytail as well, but he didn’t wear any hair ornaments or jabots. Instead, he had a button undone on the shirt, and the jacket was loose rather than buttoned up. He, too, had the black jacket in accented gold. If Aguero narrowed his eyes in the dim lighting, he could swear that Viole’s had more of a dragon on his and Bam a butterfly, but that was possibly the way the lights glinted off of the gold and the way the silhouettes enhanced the black.
“Your Highnesses, may I introduce you to His Grace Khun Aguero Agnis of the Khun Kingdom and his sisters Her Grace Khun Maria and Khun Isabela Agnis of the same?” Hwaryun gestured.
Aguero nearly forgot his etiquette as he bowed, reminding himself to keep his eyes lowered to the ground despite wanting to keep drinking the princes in. He heard rumors of their looks and how sinful they were, but he hadn’t expected them to look so divine. “The pleasure is ours,” Bam said as they rose back to standing. His golden eyes hadn’t left Aguero’s. Viole hadn’t torn his gaze away either, now that he thought about it. “How was the journey?”
“Stifling,” Aguero spoke up without thinking. His sisters twittered beside him, and he didn’t doubt Isabela wondered if he had lost his sanity in the carriage. He wouldn’t have doubted that at all. “It’s better now that I’m in the fresh air.” It’s better now that I’m in front of you, but those words he didn’t dare say.
Bam’s lips quirked upwards, “I hate long carriage rides myself.”
“You just like to use the wind to your advantage,” Viole interjected. “The Poe Bidau Kingdom has reason to believe that they can use the wind and build a machine that can take to the sky. They call it an “airship.”
“Really?!” Maria clasped her hands together, her excitement glittering brighter than the jewels around her neck. “Did they say how long it would take them to create such a masterpiece? Can you imagine being high up? We’ll get closer to knowing why birds like to fly!”
“ I think the Poe Bidau family should take care where their interest lies. I have yet to forget about the experiments they were doing.” Isabela said, taking a flute of champagne from a nearby butler as he ambled by.
Aguero wanted to scream. They needed to be on their best behavior for the princes! However, Bam seemed to look thoughtful. “Yeah, I wasn’t too thrilled about that either. I tried to appeal to Emperor Jahad about it, but the experimentations are being done in his name.”
“We’ve been thinking of ways on how we can get their attention,” Viole said quietly next to his brother, his gold eyes looking somber at the tiled ground. His attention darted up towards Aguero, “but we don’t have the resources.”
This was too good. Aguero swallowed. He glanced to see what Hwayrun’s expression was, but the woman had already disappeared after making the introductions.
“My brother here is a good strategist.” Isabela gestured towards Aguero, and he tried to look nonchalant. “He can get you what you want; however, it comes at a price.”
“She’s lying,” Maria interjected as she stepped on her sister’s foot subtly. “There’s no price. Aguero would love to show you a path on how to get the experiments to stop, or at the very least, how to traffic their supply to you so you can offer them refuge. What do you say, brother dear? Do you think you could help this kingdom?”
“Excuse me, I must speak to my sister,” Isabela grabbed Maria’s elbow and dragged her off rudely towards the edge of the dance floor.
Aguero had half of the mind to make excuses, but his heart was pounding to the vibration of the music, and he was blind to nothing but their eyes. He swallowed thickly and decided to find it within himself to grab that confident persona that he knew how to play and slip it on like a masquerade. “I can help you with the Poe Bidau Kingdom, but I must confess it will be detrimental to your cause.”
“Cause?” The princes echoed, lost.
“You are trying to find a bride,” Aguero gestured towards the dance floor of plastic smiles and porcelain figures. “You won’t find one when you're in an alliance with me. The Khun Kingdom has resources and riches to offer you, we have the military experience, and we have the assassins. We know how to be the nightmares in a child’s dream if you so wished, but, Your Highnesses, think this through. The only family that we’re in connection to that isn’t unstable would be the Arie family.”
“Agu-Lord Aguero...may we call you that? Lord Aguero, what if we don’t care about alliances and family ties?” Bam asked, fidgeting. “What if we just want to alliance with Aguero Khun?”
“Khun Aguero Agnis,” Viole corrected, his voice a little breathless at the end of his name. It brought a shiver up Aguero’s spine. He never thought that his name could sound so alluring coming from those lips. “Be polite, Bam.”
“Right,” Bam said sheepishly. “But the question remains, what do we do if it’s just you we want?”
Fuck. Fuck. Aguero wanted to call back his sisters, but it appeared that he was abandoned to the devils and their altar. He swallowed, and he could feel their gazes at his neck and the weight of their wish on his shoulders. “Then allow me to be your light bearer, Your Highnesses, and I’ll grant you your wish using any evil trick I have up my sleeve.”
Their smiles curled, and Aguero swore he signed a death sentence. “Then you should stay here after the ball so that we can plan,” Bam said, patting his shoulder.
“I should suggest,” Aguero cleared his throat, “You still find a bride.”
The princes looked at each other; some sort of conversation flitted between them. It should have annoyed Aguero, as it did when any of his siblings had a stronger connection than he did that they could communicate with a glance. However, seeing them silently blink and tilt their heads only brought a fondness slithering into his heart and a crack to the ice around it. “No thanks.” The Princes said together simply.
“We weren’t looking forward to this,” Viole explained, “it was Jinsung’s idea for us to get more established.”
“We think that we could be established just as ourselves, but Jinsung is worried about how the connections might fade or change over time,” Bam added, “but we think that we could change it to ours without having to marry anyone. It’s all about the way you talk.”
“Also, since we have you in our arsenal now, it should be easy to get them on our side without having to sacrifice our love lives.” Viole continued, finishing off the conversation. “We don’t find the appeal in arranged marriages, and this is just as forced. Love should come naturally, don’t you think?”
No. Aguero wanted to say to them. No, love shouldn’t come naturally. When love comes naturally, it’s with alcoholic kisses and bedded promises, and fast weddings. It results in coldhearted concubines raising cold-hearted children and finding ways to kill the royal heirs without Khun Edhan’s noticing. It’s about raising daughters to kill with spears and boys to be raised to murder with a smile.
Love was wicked. Love was unkind. Love was tricky. “But of course,” Aguero lied through his teeth, and his heart sped in his chest.
The smiles that they wore on their faces rivaled the afternoon sun.
X
“So my plan worked,” Maria commented as Aguero escorted his sisters out of the castle, towards the carriage. He had told them that they were to tell the Royal Mother and their mother that he wouldn’t be returning for a while. “I knew that they would be keen on you.”
Isabela sourly shoved herself into the carriage without a goodbye. Aguero wasn’t expecting anything less. For them to return home without an engagement or a promise to see each other again was the same as a failure. While many prospects were waiting for them, and there wouldn’t be a shortage of suitors, this would scar them for life. He was returning them home with nothing to show for his cause besides that he had offered himself up as a Grace strategist and abandoned his family without a second thought.
While that looked good on paper, the irritation would still itch at the Royal Mother and his father. This was supposed to be a ball-seeking marriage. However, no one was going home with such an announcement besides that the Khun family managed to weasel their way into the Grace Prince’s side.
One win, but many losses.
“You planned this?” Aguero brought his attention back to the conversation at hand. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, Isabela nor I were good enough. Have you not seen the way that they look at you? The moment you said your name, they dropped to their knees and worshipped you. I wouldn’t doubt that they’re fighting now about who is to love you most.” Maria laughed, twittering and happy. “Us women had no such luck. It was men they were after all along! Oh, that will...that will end badly…” She trailed off. “People will talk, and the Grace Kingdom will be renamed to Disgraceful because of it.”
“I wouldn’t worry too much about what other people think. It’s a waste of time and energy,” Aguero said. He shouldn’t listen to Maria and those words. He shouldn’t dare think that the Princes thought of him as a potential prince himself. There was no way. It would be disgraceful, shameful. It would ruin them before they could begin to have a Kingdom, an Empire.
“Dearest Aguero,” Maria stopped him and cupped his cheek. He looked at her, the curls still pinned in her hair. Her cheeks were slightly flushed from the champagne and laughter. Her eyes were wide, earnest, and honest. “I hope you are happy here. I hope they make you happy. If they can do that much, then no matter what position I get back home, I will support you should you ever ask. Whether they make it known you’re their partner or not, I will always support you.”
Aguero exhaled, taking her hand off of his cheek and gently pushing it back towards her. “Dearest Maria, I hope that you take care.”
Maria smiled, a dimple showing on her cheek before she turned hastily and disappeared into the carriage. He stood as the driver gently snapped the reins against the horse's neck. He watched until he couldn’t see the carriage past the gate and beyond the townsfolk.
He felt something warm come around his shoulders, and he looked over to see Viole tucking his jacket around him. Bam was standing with him, looking earnest and concerned. They didn’t pry nor speak. Instead, they followed his gaze towards where the carriage had disappeared before looking at each other.
Aguero couldn’t be taken in by their charms, but he knew that this was a losing battle. “Let’s go inside. Where am I sleeping?”
“In the room next to us so that we can get to you should you need us,” Bam said, pursing his lips. “Aguero, are you going to be okay staying with us? I know we were hasty about having you join, and we didn’t-”
“You know the Khun Kingdom. If anything, you helped me out.” Aguero didn’t want them to walk the paths of what-ifs or what they could have done. It wasn’t practical. It was wasteful. “Let's go back in. Will Your High-”
“Bam,” Bam said.
“Viole,” Viole said, at the same time.
Aguero blinked, “I’m sorry?”
“Since you’re our strategist now, it’s only right for you to call us by our names,” Bam said, as Viole nodded beside him sagely. “So...call us our names?”
He should lecture that it was improper, but didn’t he just tell Maria that he didn’t care what anyone else thought? How could he deny them when they looked so hopeful, with stars shimmering in their eyes in hopes that he’d grant them this one wish? “Then shall we go back in, Bam? Viole?”
“Of course, Aguero!” The twins chorused, and oh...there were those sunshine smiles again. Aguero was finding himself eager always to be the reason for them. He was finding himself wishing that he wasn’t just the cause but that he was the only one subjected to such a thing.
He kept that curled tight against his chest. “Then guide me in.”