Work Text:
The weight of a body shifting against the large bed, did little to rouse Sydney Bristow.
Marina Ferrer took a sip of coffee, studying her cousin, who lay slumped on her bed like a dead person, tangles of hair over her face, mouth wide open, a small puddle of drool spreading over Marina's down pillow.
She grimaced at the sight, mentally making a note to have the sheets dry cleaned, before she smiled slightly, taking a moment to wipe at Sydney's bangs carefully, smoothing them away from her eyes.
"Sydney," she said quietly, hand on her shoulder, shaking as gently as she could. "Syd."
Her cousin erupted in a moan, burying further into the sheets, eyes stubbornly closed.
Marina slumped back, eyeing her, before she took another sip of coffee, placed it carefully on the nightstand, and shook harder. "Come on-"
"Oh, Good Lord God of all things good and holy," Sydney growled, fingers clamping around the pillow case, words muffled by the fabric. "Turn out the light."
"That's the sun," Marina corrected gently. "I cannot do much about it. It's coming in from the windows."
"Your room sucks," Sydney managed, mouth twisting into a pained grimace. "Oh, fuck."
"Yes, you were very drunk last night," Marina said, pulling at her shoulder. "Come on-"
"Turn me over and I'll kill you," Sydney said matter-of-factly, eyes welded shut. "And I can do it. I can do it five different ways using just this pinky."
She held up her little finger threateningly, before she decided it wasn't worth the effort and let it fall back against the pillows.
"You're late for work," Marina reminded her.
"Work can wait."
"I seriously doubt the CIA agrees with you," she said, fighting the smirk on her face. Sydney just mumbled something about 'saving the dog-gamned world just enough', and tried desperately to pull the sheets over her head. "Sydney, you can't stay in that bed forever."
"I can!" she snapped, and suddenly groaned. "I'll call in sick. I'm sick! My head hurts, and oh-my-God..." one eye opened warily, shut just as fast. "Did I throw up last night?"
"You came very close," Marina said. "I wouldn't let you."
She moaned. Sighing, Marina sat back, letting her cousin flop her head into her lap, arms flailing over the bed.
"I'm sorry I freaked out at you last night," Sydney mumbled. “Thank you for taking care of me.”
Running fingers through her cousin's hair, Marina scratched lightly at Sydney's scalp. "You would have done the same for me."
Sydney laughed, hollow and bitter. "I seriously doubt this would have happened to you."
Marina's smile was slow, knowing. "This happens to every sexually confused woman at some point in their lives." Sydney's hands tightened on Marina's thighs.
"Do you think I'm gay?" she asked quietly.
Marina considered, kept her fingers moving through her hair. "No," she said finally. "But why don't we save that for a morning when you don't stink like a brewery? You need a shower."
"God," Sydney moaned.
Marina fought her laughter, managing a quiet chuckle as she reached across the bed, plucking a bottle of beer from the dresser. "Here," she said, wrapping Sydney's palm around the chilled glass. "It will take away some of the sting."
"Marina, the last thing I want is that," she managed, trying to shove it back.
"You know as well as I do that you must drink it," Marina enunciated. "And then you'll shower and we will deal with everything else."
"I don't WANT TO."
Marina sighed, arms splayed back to handle her weight, eyebrow cocking at the sight of Sydney, clutching at her legs, face buried in her thigh.
Fine.
"Do you know how many times I've had sex on this bed-"
"I'm up! I'm up-" Sydney stumbled, jerking up so quickly her legs twisted together, and she fell off the bed and onto the floor with a yelp.
--
A hangover's best cure was time. Unfortunately, spies were rarely afforded such a luxury.
Marina sat at her counter, palms wrapped around her tea, drinking it sip by sip.
Her life was a versatile whirlwind, and she had come to expect that. Sydney's drunken tryst with Shane was yet another facet, a wrinkle she was sure she didn't need, but for some odd reason, she was very nearly glad for it.
It was something else to concentrate on, a distraction from the controlled chaos of her life - Sydney was a constant.
Marina was aware enough of herself, a small bit of KGB training lingering within her, to recognize her own weaknesses, her blind spots. To a point, she understood why things soured with Francesca. Too easily, she had allowed her to assume the dominant role that her mother had taken when she was fifteen. Too eagerly, Francesca took it.
Marina sabotaged the relationship the moment she had let that happen, decided it was easier to just give in than to fight her own impulses.
Now, she understood why Jenny had proved so tempting. Rarely had Marina been given the opportunity to nurture, to care about someone, to take care of them. It was the charm of the Planet, why it was such a success. It wasn't just a café. Marina took care of you, when you went.
She had begun to realize; she was good at that. She was good at taking care of people, not just letting others take care of her.
Sydney, with her trusting nature and her own minor freak out, sated the desire, somewhat, and for a moment, Marina entertained the thought that perhaps her inability to rid herself of Jenny's memory was simply a rush to nurture.
But even the thought of the young woman, with her bright blue eyes, and haunted, aching whisper created a stillness in her, a need.
Jenny would drive her insane.
Sydney's cellphone buzzed against the counter, and arching an eyebrow, Marina cast it a slightly contemptuous look, glancing toward the stairs and reaching for it with a sigh.
"Sydney Bristow's phone," she mumbled, fingers rubbing against her temples.
There was a slight pause, before a voice said uncertainly, "Marina?"
Blinking slightly, Marina's hand came down. "Yes? Who is this?"
"It's Eric," he answered. "Eric Weiss."
She smiled in spite of herself. "How are you?"
"I'm good!" he said, a little too fast. "How are you?"
"As well as can be expected."
"That's good!"
Her smirk widened. "If you say so."
He swallowed slightly. "Is... um... is Sydney there?"
She arched an eyebrow. "She's in the shower right now, can I take a message?" Nothing. "Hello?"
"Right... uh... can you just tell her we're ... you know - looking for her at the office?"
"I'll make sure to tell her," she answered, and in spite herself, couldn't quite help, "Eric?"
"Yeah."
"Sydney came home last night rather upset about something. If you see her... do mind speaking to her? I could not get it out of her."
It was a rather evil thing to say, but Marina had to take her amusement where she could get it, and she considered it just a small payback for Sydney's father holding a gun to her the night before.
"I'm sure she's fine," he said flatly.
"I'm sure she will be." There was a pause, before Marina said simply, "Good-bye."
Placing down Sydney's phone, she glanced at her own, a sudden urge to call Robin striking a small nerve. The woman was not high maintenance by nature, but she and Marina were so completely different, that unless Marina called her at least once a day, the woman would forget about her sense of obligation. Marina did not take her lack of interest personally.
Her seduction of Robin was not intended for Robin -as such, she was surprised it worked as well as it did.
It was tiring, her farce, but her fingers pressed the digits, and the phone began to ring, when she was interrupted by the tapping of glass.
She looked up, to find Shane pressed up against her window, waving with trepidation, looking disheveled and worried.
Had her friend not looked more upset, Marina would have given more than just her even glare.
Still, she stood, sighing as she turned off her ringing phone and padded to the doorway, meeting Shane halfway.
"Hey," Shane said, looking like a lost little boy with her hands shoved into her pockets, small, quick smile painting across her lips and disappearing just as quickly.
Marina took her time, leaning against the doorway, arms crossed, eyebrow raised.
"Don't fucking do that," Shane said quickly. "It was an accident, all right? We were drunk."
"I heard the story," Marina said evenly.
"Then you know that I care about her," Shane snapped. "I wouldn't fuck with her like that. And if you had been there, it wouldn't have happened."
"I had my own problems," Marina said, but she opened the door, stepped back, letting Shane step hesitantly inside.
"Yeah, we're all fucked," Shane remarked, still managing to look out of place, staring around with shifty eyes, combat boots streaked with dirt, in the middle of her marble tiled floor.
Despite that, Marina acknowledged the subtle beauty that was Shane. With her husky purr, dark, deep-souled eyes, sexy slouch, she carried the sexual magnetic aura that women could very easily become entrapped in.
Marina understood Sydney's attraction to her friend, even if her cousin could not. Shane was a gentleman. Sensitive, honest, and caring. She had a masculine personality, and had been blessed with a beautiful face. While she was a beautiful woman, she could be seen as an equally pretty man.
Marina fought her grin when she began to realize exactly what Shane's appeal to Sydney was.
Shane was exactly like Vaughn.
"Some more than others," she finally answered, moving past her, squeezing her shoulder affectionately along the way. "Are you okay?"
"I'm all right," Shane said, somewhat warily, eyes narrowing suspiciously. "You're not going to threaten me or anything?"
Well, perhaps not exactly like Vaughn. Shane was not a weenie.
"I don't threaten," she said, a smile on her lips. "I've never had the need."
"Cute," Shane said, somewhat acidically.
"You're not here to speak to me," Marina said, handing her a cup of coffee. "Right?"
Shane was hesitant, but nodded slightly. "I figured she'd still be here."
Marina licked her lips, glancing at the counter before she met Shane's gaze. "Don't hurt her. She's had enough of that."
On cue, small thumps on her stairs directed both women's attention to the second floor, where a barefoot Sydney, wrapped in one of Marina's robes, came jogging down, wincing with every step.
"Oh, my GOD - Marina, how do you not use that Shower Massager more? I was never more tempted to wash every inch of my..." the words died instantly when she realized Marina was not alone.
"Hey," Shane said helpfully.
Sydney blinked. "Hey..."
Marina coughed, managing to cover her smirk with a wipe across her mouth. "I'm going upstairs..."
Sydney Bristow, naked underneath a rather skimpy robe, dripping wet tendrils creating a slight puddle on Marina's floor, on the tail end of a conversation that alluded to masturbating, had never wished so hard that the earth would open up and swallow her whole.
She was a secret agent. A spy. She had seduced men with nothing more than a smirk and a quirk of her finger, and standing in the face of Marina's friend, who's entire ensemble couldn't have cost more than ten dollars at K-Mart, she felt like the dork of the sixth grade all over again.
And it didn't help that Shane, hands shoved into her gray pullover sweater, just looked at her, cool as a frickin' cucumber.
Obviously, she was waiting for Sydney to speak first, and Sydney, fingers tangled nervously together, found herself too busy being bombarded with flashes of herself launching at Marina's poor friend, sticking her tongue in her mouth, and basically asking to be groped.
Oh, God...
She had acted like a bi-curious slut in heat.
"I'm so... sorry," she finally managed, fighting the searing blush on her cheeks with palms to her face.
Shane looked a little taken aback, before her hands came out of her pockets. "Oh, no, dude - don’t."
"I nearly mauled you."
Shane grinned at that, a beautifully sincere smile tilting across her lips. "I've been mauled - that wasn't mauling."
"Oh, God..."
"Syd, Syd..." Shane looked more amused than uncomfortable, arms gently pressed to her forearms, now just inches away, staring into her eyes with a faint smirk on her face. "Relax, okay? We were drunk. Shit happens when you drink as much as we did."
Sydney kept her palms pressed against her mouth, earnest as she whispered a mumble, "Do you understand the havoc that losing control can have on you when you're in my line of work?"
Shane's mouth quirked, as if she were trying not to smile, and again, she began to smooth at her arms, gentle as she rolled her eyes to the ceiling. Her grip was firm, gentle, not at all sexual in any way.
"You going to be okay?" Shane asked.
Sydney blew out her breath, managing a tight grin. "I'll be fine. I just... I've never..."
"You've never gotten drunk and macked on one of your friends?"
Sydney blinked, and her grin turned sheepish. "Actually, that I have done." She thought of Will, beautiful, smart Will Tippin, and felt a soft blush on her cheeks. "I meant; I've never kissed a girl."
"Oh." Shane didn't seem embarrassed by that. She merely studied her quizzically, before she squeezed at her biceps again. "You've been hanging out with some seriously gay ladies, and you're okay with that. Eventually, you were gonna get curious." Shane grinned. "I'm flattered it was me." Sydney let out a nervous chuckle, looking away, before Shane took hold of her chin, bringing her back to face her. "It doesn't mean you're gay. Or that you need to go and burn your bra, okay?"
"Good, because I need my bra. I do a lot of running around." Shane grinned, and it was a beautiful, infectious smile that made Sydney feel suddenly silly for freaking out to readily the night before. "Thanks." She fell silent, still aware of Shane's hands on her biceps, fingers warm against her skin. "This isn't gonna screw up anything with you and Cherie, is it?"
"What? Nah, no-" Shane shook her head, stepping back and letting go, as if suddenly remembering boundaries. "I'm not gonna tell her. She's the one who fucking caused it, you know? I should. Just to piss her off." Sydney quirked an eyebrow, and oddly, felt a small pang when a shadow passed over Shane's eyes at the mention of her lover. "What about you?" she returned. "Is your boy... Weiss - he gonna make this an issue between you and Vaughn?"
Vaughn. The pang in her heart twisted it into genuine emotion, and Sydney's smile froze, voice noticeably weaker when she answered, "No... I - I'll talk to Weiss today, but... I don't think it'll matter. Vaughn much rather prefers his wife's company than mine, so..."
Shane didn't smile. "I don't get that," she said flatly. "I saw him. He's totally in love with you."
She suddenly had no urge to talk about Vaughn now. "It doesn’t matter," she responded. "I'll figure it out. But we're okay?"
"We're awesome," Shane said, locking eyes with her for a beat before she cleared her throat, stepping back. "Listen I gotta go - gotta meet up with Cherie's husband to look at the new store..." Sydney blinked, and Shane smiled, shrugging her shoulders. "I know - it's twisted, but..."
People did crazy things when they were in love.
It was a bittersweet feeling that consumed her, as Sydney wrapped arms around herself, nodding her good-bye to Shane, who jogged to the doorway, saying good-bye to Marina with a holler, before she glanced back at Sydney, smiled, and left her.
She hadn't moved when Marina came down a minute later, distracted by some papers in a blue folder. "So? Are you gay yet?"
Sydney's eyes slit into a narrowed glare. "No, she's fine. She's totally fine. And I'm fine. I'm not gay. This is normal."
"For Shane it is," Marina agreed, dropping her papers on the counter, sliding onto a stool, eyeing Sydney warily. "Are you okay?"
She felt hot. A little sad. Her headache had lessened to a dull pound, and for some reason, was the last thing on her mind.
"Not really," Sydney answered, settling down next to Marina, running fingers through her wet hair. "Oh, God - What is happening to me?"
"Maybe you have a crush," Marina answered quietly.
"On a girl?"
"Yes, on a girl," Marina answered, good-natured and somewhat patronizingly. "It's been known to happen."
"Especially when it comes to Shane," Sydney completed.
Marina hesitated, obviously trying to frame her answered diplomatically, before her sentence came out, slowly. "Some people make people fall in love with them without even trying. It's a gift."
Marina was being courteous. This had happened before. And Sydney knew it. She knew Shane's reputation - thanks to Alice, she even knew Marina's. They were heartbreakers, as good-natured as they were, women fell in love with them too easily.
And Sydney wasn't gay. Never in her life had she imagined other women, pictured herself with other women.
"You know until she kissed me, I was just fine," she managed, tired expression flitting over her face. Marina's mouth quirked, before she glanced away. "God," Sydney whispered. "I'm not ready to handle this. I can't even handle Vaughn right now."
Her phone interrupted her contemplation, breaking up the silence that followed with buzzing against the counter, imitating a small earthquake.
"Weiss called," Marina said, by way of explanation. "I think you have to go to work."
It was the last thing she wanted to do, but quite possibly the one thing she needed. "Yeah," she said quietly. "Yeah, I should go. Kick a few terrorists’ asses. Share a lustful glance or two with Vaughn. Normal things."
Marina smiled.
"You going to be busy tomorrow?" Sydney asked.
"Bette," Marina said, nodding. "She has an art opening- Provocations."
"Sounds dirty."
"From what I hear, it is," Marina replied, grinning.
Sydney let the laughter go, smiling at her cousin. "Thank you for last night. And this morning. And for not kicking me out even when I acted like a total spazz and drooled on your sheets."
"You're welcome to do it anytime," Marina said, sliding off the stool and pressing a kiss to her forehead.
--
Sydney was late into the meeting, slipping into a seat beside Lauren, just in time to catch a glare from Dixon, a worried glance from her father, a hungry yet pained glance from Vaughn, and Weiss acting like a disgruntled cat, shifting his position so that he wouldn't have to see her at all.
Only Marshall was happily clueless, looking like an excited little boy when he shot her a small, not at all subtle wave.
She waved back, carefully trying to pay attention to Dixon while he continued on his spiel, something about drug trafficking in Columbia...
Nothing about Rambaldi, thank God.
It was a matter of national security that she remained entirely distracted, fingers tapping on the tabletop, shifting a glance to Weiss, whose ears were getting progressively redder.
Her evening with Marina had become a shelter, and now, back in her world, Sydney remembered suddenly why she hadn't wanted to leave.
Vaughn was a good agent, but she felt his stares on her, just as she felt Lauren's glares. Weiss kept his eyes straight ahead, and her usual ally was certainly upset.
Oh, God...
As if her life wasn't already a soap opera...
The last thing she needed was Vaughn finding out, or the entire office, she wasn't sure which was worse, what had happened with Shane.
She loved Vaughn, sapphic leanings aside, and despite her bitterness that had allowed her to let him believe that Marina was more than just a friend, she wasn't quite ready to give that up... not yet.
Not even if Shane was driving her crazy.
It was pure luck that they were interrupted, that Dixon dismissed them all with a quirk of his head.
"Weiss," she said quickly, craning her neck as he brushed past her. "Weiss." He kept going.
Ignoring her father's questioning stare, Sydney stood quickly, nearly toppling Lauren. "Excuse me," she said dismissively, not even bothering to respond to Lauren's snort as she pushed away from her, following Eric's chubby body around the corner.
God, it seemed like all she did lately was chase people out of these damned meetings.
"Weiss, would you just..."
He stopped, turning as soon as they had reached a secluded corner, face a stone wall of hurt.
"Okay," she began, swallowing somewhat heavily. "What you saw last night? Was an ACCIDENT, okay?'
"An accident," he repeated.
"YES," Sydney snapped. "I mean, God - Weiss, I was a mess, okay? And it just... it just happened!"
"Sydney!" He nearly yelled, and when Sydney blanched, and a few people glanced over in their direction, he regained his composure, swallowing hard and bringing his tone down to a harsh whisper. "You had your tongue down Shane's throat. You didn't look like you were going to be stopping anytime soon. It didn't look like a mistake!"
"I was drunk! And so was she! Look... it meant NOTHING-" He ruffled like a peacock, looking away in exasperation. "No, listen," she said, hands on his lapels, "I just, really need you to keep quiet about this."
"I can't believe you..." Weiss' lips pressed together. "I..."
"I understand why you're upset," she whispered, trying hard to maintain her composure. "But Vaughn is married, and he's going to stay that way, and I-"
He blinked. "Vaughn? Forget about Vaughn!" Sydney blinked, taken slightly aback when he continued in a furious whisper, "You're cheating on Marina!"
For a brief second, she was so stunned all she could do was gape at him. "WHAT?" she managed.
His face was frozen in a glare. "With her best friend! I understand it going back and forth with you and Vaughn, but cheating with Marina's best friend - with someone she trusts-"
And it suddenly made sense. Not all of it. But ... oh, crap. She had completely forgotten that-
"Oh, God... Weiss... no-" She almost laughed, palm over her mouth, shoulders shaking at the sudden ridiculousness of this whole thing.
"Oh, this is funny?" he snapped.
"No... no - I just..." Sydney pressed her lips together, trying hard to contain her reaction. "I just... Oh, God... Weiss... I think Marina will be okay."
"Oh, will she?" he snapped. "She loves you."
Sydney nodded emphatically. "And I love her."
He stared, bewildered. "I don't even KNOW you anymore!"
"Oh, God - okay, come here, come here-" she grabbed his sleeve, pulling fast and hard, twisting and turning deeper into the corridor. "Marina and I are not together-"
"Does she know that?!"
"We need to talk," she snapped, and she continued to drag him, down the corridor, and out of the office.
Perhaps she was tired of the farce, or of the lies. Perhaps she simply just needed to let it out with someone who could understand the seriousness of what she was going through, the magnitude of her feelings for Vaughn.
That Eric liked Marina was obvious. Just how much he liked her, enough to choose to feel indignant over her feelings rather than Vaughn's, was a surprise, but a good one.
It meant Sydney could trust him.
She sat him down in a small café, a few blocks from the office, and she told him. All of it. From the first letter from her mother, to the morning she just had, and when she was finished, he looked dazed, palms spread out on the countertop, eyes straight ahead.
"Wow," he said finally.
Filled with something that mimicked resigned amusement, Sydney nodded, sipping at her coffee, taking a small plastic stirrer and bending it between her fingertips. "Yeah."
"Wow," he said again.
"Yeah," she answered.
He licked his lips, tapping at the faux wooden countertop, pushing a packet of Sweet & Low around. "So... you're not really gay?"
Sydney's mouth broke into a bewildered smile. "You know what? I have no idea. I don't think so. No," she decided. "No, I'm not."
"But all this time... you and Marina..."
"No, just cousins. Just friends." Sydney shrugged. "Letting everyone assume that we were girlfriends just answered a lot of questions we didn't really have answers for."
He was quiet beside her, before he ventured, "Is Marina really gay?"
Sydney grinned. "Yes," she answered. "Marina is very, very gay."
"Oh," he said, sounding disappointed. "Kind of a bummer. We could have double-dated with you and Vaughn."
Sydney burst out into laughter.
"What? I can be her type!" Weiss said, somewhat defensively.
"You have a penis," she said, "You're not her type." He snorted, giving her a look of mock indignation. Her smile faded at a thought. "Weiss?"
"Yeah."
"Can you... not tell anyone about this?" she whispered. He looked confused, mouth open, ready to speak when she hurriedly continued, "I don't want Vaughn to know the truth."
"You don't trust him?" he asked quietly.
She shrugged, eyes down on her coffee. "A lot's changed since we were together," she smiled quickly, before it turned into a frown. "I mean - we know where his loyalties are, where they should be. With Lauren. And... my mother killed his father, Eric. I don't think he can handle the fact that Marina is..."
"A Derevko," he finished. She nodded slowly. "Okay," he said, rubbing his hands through his hair, looking tired and beaten. "Your secret's safe with me, Syd."
She sighed, slumping down to place her head on the comfortably padded shoulder of her best friend. "Thank you," she mumbled, eyes closing.
She felt the brief pressure of his cheek against her forehead before she heard, "So you macked on Shane last night?"
"Oh, God," she managed, lifting her head off his shoulder to discover him smiling like a lecherous little boy.
"She's cute."
"Shut up," she snapped. "I mean... God -"
"You like her?"
"I don't know! She's a girl! She's a girl, Eric!" He waggled his eyebrows, and she smacked him, burying her face into her crossed arms. "It doesn't even matter," she said, when her beating heart had returned to normal and she regained her composure. "She's in love with someone, and I'm in love with Vaughn - Marina thinks it's just a crush."
"On a girl?"
"I know, right?" she agreed, shaking her head. "But neither of them think I'm gay."
"Do you think you're gay?"
Sydney shrugged, face awash with confusion. "No? I mean, no! I've never been attracted to women before, and it's just Shane! Shane's this androgynous bundle of sexual energy! It's like she's not even a girl! She's this really sensitive guy - with breasts."
"Yeah, but they're just little teeny ones," Weiss answered.
"Well, they're still there," she snapped. "And you know, this is really all Marina's fault. Because she's all about the gay thing, and because I've been hanging out with her, that's all I've been around! Just... gay women EVERYWHERE. It like, seeps into your brain! I've been living in a straight girl closet in a gay girl world- it was only a matter of time before I got confused!"
Weiss was openly grinning now. "Yeap. You're confused."
She moaned, dropping her head on his shoulder again. "Can we just stay here like this forever?"
Their cellphones beeped at the same time, and Sydney sighed, straightening up. "Duty calls," he said, glancing at the number.
She studied him, as he pulled out his wallet and dropped some bills on the counter. "Weiss?"
"Hmm?"
"Thanks," she whispered. "I'm glad you know."
He grinned, a twinkle in his eyes and a dimple in his cheek. "Yeah," he said. "Me too. And for the record?" he continued, as they slipped off the stools and headed for the door. "Anytime you wanna tell me anything about your adventures in gay Hollywood? Feel free. Just get it all out. And I mean details. Really, just... don't leave anything to the imagination-"
"You PERVERT!" she squealed, erupting in laughter as she punched him in the shoulder.
"Ow."
--
Sydney's work consumed her.
For the last year and a half, she considered it a good thing. There was little else in her life worth living, thanks to two years that were a living hell, a hell she chose not to remember. Until recently, her work had been her life, her compact family of heartache and drama.
Now, she had another life - another façade. Nights with Marina, assumptions about her sexuality, rumors that ran rampant around the agency.
She led her double life all over again, lying to those she cared about to maintain a cover for someone else.
But this time, it was worth it. She had already lost Vaughn, three times, at her last count, and even her father's startling suspicion about Lauren's double-agent status did nothing to change the sinking hope that she and Vaughn would reunite.
In her life, she had her work, her father, and now, her friends.
She had friends again, two that she could cry to, bury her head in their shoulder and spill her secrets. She had Marina's lap to sob on, Marina's ear to talk to.
It made it easier, to do her job. Now that Weiss knew, now that one more lie had been cleared, she could smile at him, aware that he knew the truth.
Her job consumed her, that day and the day after, as she found herself ducking bullets, fitting wigs. On the job, there wasn't time to think of her crush on Shane and what that meant, or to think of Marina and what she would think. Her life depended on her concentration, on her trust in Vaughn, and Weiss, and now, with her growing suspicion of Lauren, with Vaughn pulling away... it was harder.
But at the end of the day, she was disappointed to remember that Marina had an art opening, that Shane was most likely busy with her.
Marina had managed her freedom, and with that came the luxury of a social life.
Sydney didn't mind going home to an empty apartment, where she could drink a glass of wine, read some briefs, and wait for her pager to ring. There were things to consider, her father's investigation of Lauren to keep up on, so many things to worry about - her missing mother, Rambaldi, her father and Sloane's betrayal...
Marina and Shane could wait.
Her cellphone did ring that night, and when it did, she didn't look at the caller, instead just sucked off the chocolate ice cream that had dripped onto her thumb and reached for it, eyes still on her report.
"Sydney Bristow."
There was nothing but breathing.
Distracted, Sydney put down her spoon, placing the ice cream away from her. "Hello?"
"It's Marina," she said.
Her tone struck Sydney. Her voice was clouded, murky, emotional.
"Marina?" she breathed, reports falling into her lap. "What is it?"
"I just... I don't..."
"Okay, I'm coming over."
"No, Sydney-"
She was already up, shoving her feet into her old sneakers, grabbing her keys off the desk. "I'll be there in twenty minutes."
There was a pause, before Marina replied in an amazingly resigned way, "Okay."
--
Marina lived in a glass house in Venice; amazingly huge, beautiful, and completely impersonal.
Sydney didn't bother waiting for Marina to answer the door. She picked the lock, twisting the knob and coming in, calling her cousin's name as she closed the wooden door behind her.
Quickly, her eyes took in the sight of the kitchen. An empty bottle. A bottle opener. She narrowed her focus, found the wine case missing another bottle as well.
"Marina?"
No answer. Quickly, she hurried up the steps, turning left and heading straight into Marina's room, where she almost missed the brown crown of hair, peeking over the other side of the bed.
"Marina..." She moved, quickly, turning the corner of Marina's mattress, and discovering her cousin sprawled against it, face streaked with tears, a half empty wine bottle next to her, and a huge glass in her hand. "Oh, God," Sydney whispered. Marina glanced up, taking her in, and just as quickly dismissing her, returning her focus to her glass. Sydney's heart finally settled, sinking down into the pit of her stomach. "You know, you'd think you'd use tequila or beer to get drunk like us normal people," she said matter-of-factly, kneeling down to carefully pluck the glass from Marina's fingers.
"She called me a monster," Marina mumbled, eyes straight ahead, as if she were reliving the moment. "Told me I was incapable of feeling - just a predator looking for another prey..."
"Who told you that?" Sydney asked, pausing, eyes widening.
"Robin," Marina said, after a beat. "Robin called me a monster."
Robin... Sydney processed the name, remembered suddenly a conversation from two nights ago, at Radar, about a woman and Jenny Schecter.
Oh, crap.
"Okay," she said quietly, eyes on the floor as she set aside the bottle as well, settling down in front of Marina, fingers carefully tilting her chin up to meet her eyes. "Tell me what happened."
Marina couldn't look at her, not for longer than a few seconds. Eyes downcast, she didn't bother to wipe the tear that trickled down her cheek. "I don't know," she said, softly. "I don't know. I just wanted her back. I wanted her back, and I wanted to hurt her, but I didn't know... I didn't know..."
"Okay," Sydney said, soft and careful. "All right." Smoothing back Marina's dark hair, she bit her lip, considering the situation. God. "Marina?" she asked gently. "Did something happen with Jenny last night?"
Marina glanced up, eyes suddenly brilliant with unshed tears. "She was there, just as I knew she would be. And I was there, with Robin..."
Robin, the woman dating Jenny - Marina had shown up with the woman dating Jenny...
Oh, fuck.
Sydney swallowed hard, heart constricting at the implications. She should have been horrified. A small beat inside of Sydney wanted to be justly outraged for Marina's behavior. But her cousin, in her arms, broken, was not a monster.
"Robin said it was this... game," Marina whispered. "She said that's all this was to me-"
"Marina-"
"She's right," she mumbled. "She was right. What I did to Jenny - it was what my mother did to me. What I did with Francesca. All these stupid GAMES-" and her voice, frustrated, angry, rose in a shout, as she reached for her glass, flung it hard across the floor. Sydney flinched as it shattered against the wall. "I hated my mother. I hated Francesca. I hated myself for the stupid games. The stupid games that have infected me. Infected everything about me-"
"Marina, shhh," Sydney closed her eyes, carefully smoothing her palms over Marina's legs, rubbing carefully. Marina shut her mouth, trying hard to keep herself closed off, even in her drunken state, she would not let Sydney comfort her. Her eyes averted, on the floor, body stiff. "Tell me about Jenny," Sydney said gently.
"Jenny?" Marina repeated, a broken, bittersweet smile on her features. "She's crazy. She's strange and little and beautiful and insane."
Sydney fought her bewildered smile, nodding along. "Okay... to each their own."
Marina choked her laugh, desperate relief that quickly consumed a sob.
With a palm on her back, Sydney was still, eyes on her cousin. "Do you love her?" Marina swallowed, said nothing. "Do you?"
"It doesn’t matter now."
"Yes, yes it does - Marina?" she shifted her cousin, forcibly keeping her eyes facing hers. "Listen to me. You are not your mother. You are not Francesca. You deserve to be happy. If you love her, then just tell her." Marina stilled, hair spilling over her face, hiding her expression. "Forget about the games. Just tell her. " Marina didn't answer, but when Sydney smoothed her fingers over her bangs, shifting them behind her ear, she caught a glimmer of brilliance in her eyes. Slowly, Sydney searched the bedroom, found what she was looking for. She left Marina's side, and picked up the phone, coming back. "Here."
Marina didn't move as Sydney pressed it into her hands. She stared at it, as if it was something foreign. But there was an unsteady breath, and she began to dial.
Sydney's hand clutched hers, as Marina held the phone to her ear, unconsciously biting her lip.
When the answering machine clicked on, the room was so quiet Sydney heard it, saw Marina's wince, a resigned sigh falling from her lips as she waited for Jenny to finish her quirky, weird message.
Then came the beep.
"Jenny," Marina said, tears staining her voice. "It's Marina... I'm sorry." Closing her eyes, she leaned her head back against the bed. "Seeing Robin, and bringing her tonight... " Her hand clasped Sydney's harder. "I think I'm in love with you-" she paused, and her voice got stronger. "I know I am. And I would do anything to have another chance."
She didn't wait. The phone came down, and she pressed the off button.
Sydney didn't know what to say, found the unwelcome sting of tears in her eyes, a large lump in her throat.
Marina stared at the phone, not moving as Sydney gently caressed her scalp. "I don't know what to do," she finally confessed.
Sydney couldn't manage a smile, but Marina crumpled against her, arms going around her cousin's torso.
It was a desperate embrace, and Sydney returned it, until Marina slid down, nestled her head in her lap.
"We'll be okay," Sydney said. "We'll be fine." Her fingers slid through silky hair. "We're gonna be fine."
What surprised her was she actually believed it.
FIN