Chapter Text
Ugh, tiring day. Jisoo mentally groaned as he joined the sea of people walking along the main corridor of his school. There were loud chatters everywhere, with occasional thundering of footsteps from students running past and shouts from those who spotted friends a far distance from them. Like usual, Jisoo passed by everyone without a word, with no one to greet and no one to call out to him.
He thought he heard his name being mentioned for a second but immediately dismissed the idea, keeping his head low and avoiding people's eyes as he continued to walk towards his class.
He was just about to reach the stairs to go to the third floor for his first subject when he noticed that the students in front of him were slowly splitting apart and making way for something or rather, someone. As soon as the last bunch of people moved aside, Jisoo was able to see clearly what was the cause of the sudden clearing of path.
A man was walking towards his direction. He initially thought the guy was only going to pass by, but the second their eyes met and he knew that the other was in fact going towards him. Jisoo did not know what to do as he stood there, frozen, waiting for the person to reach him.
Seeing that he was rooted on his spot, the man hastened his pace and with a few more strides, closed the gap between them and Jisoo found himself locked in the person's embrace.
The cheering and shouts barely registered in Jisoo's brain; the sudden warmth that enveloped him made it difficult for him to think clearly. The male's scent was comforting, reminding him of spring and bright, cloudless sky.
Wait, what is happening?! He asked to himself as the feeling of shock slowly dissipated and panic began to sink in. Why was this person hugging him all of a sudden? And in front of the whole student body nonetheless!
Mustering the strength to pull away, he pushed off the man and looked at him, perplexed. "Excuse me, why are you doing this?"
Instead of moving away, the other took Jisoo's hands into his own. There was a mix of longing and anger in his face as he spoke. "Jisoo, where have you been? You disappeared without a word for days! Do you know how worried I was? I almost turned crazy looking everywhere for you!"
"What? But I didn't go anywhere..." His voice trailed off, clueless as to what the stranger was talking about. How could he have disappeared when he still went to school last week? He had his weekends off so obviously he wasn't in the campus during those days. What was this person saying? And more importantly, who was he?
"Excuse me, mister, I think you're mistaking me for someone else. I don't even know you." Jisoo told the other politely.
At his words, the man's expression turned blank. His hand reached out to touch his forehead, his cheeks, until Jisoo swatted the hand away for touching him excessively without permission. "Are you sick, Jisoo? Did you hit your head or something? Why are you saying that you don't know me?"
"No, I'm serious. I really don't know you." He answered, taking a better look at the guy to make sure that he really did not know him. His mind tried to recall any memories, places where they could have possibly met, even just a name that he could associate to the other, but there was none. It was really his first time meeting this man.
His answer caused the stranger's face to contort into that of hurt. "How can you not remember your own boyfriend?"
Boyfriend?! Jisoo mentally screamed. Since when did he have one? He never got into a relationship with anyone ever since he entered this university. How could this man be his boyfriend?!
"E-excuse me? I think you got the wrong person. I'm not dating anybody." He stammered, trying to make sense of what was happening.
Around them, students began talking in hushed whispers as they watched the drama unfolding between him and the stranger. Their reactions varied from surprise, sympathy, and disbelief. For whom the emotions were felt for, Jisoo did not know nor did he care.
Everything that escaped his mouth seemed to only hurt the guy even more as his lips trembled lightly upon hearing his denial. He tried to approach him again, calling out his name softly. "Jisoo..."
He backed away, slowly, not wanting to get closer to the man. Jisoo did not know him-- there was no way he would believe that he was in a relationship with someone whom he had never seen, until today. For all he knew, the man could have planned all this with malevolent intentions.
"I'm sorry, I really do not know you. I don't have a boyfriend, and it will never be you." He said before sprinting up towards the stairs.
Jisoo did not look back and ran as fast as he could towards his classroom. His heart was thumping loudly in fear that the man was running after him. Thankfully, he reached the place without getting chased. He opened the door and saw that the professor was just about to begin his lecture.
The occupants in the room focused their attention to him as he bowed deeply in apology before excusing himself to sit at the back row of the class. He rummaged for his notebook and a pen, getting ready to take down notes on the subject. Jisoo tried to shake off the memories of his strange encounter earlier, letting the monotonous voice of the professor float inside his head.
A boyfriend? How ridiculous.
The bell rang loudly, signalizing the end of the class. The teacher was giving last-minute reminders as the students packed their bags and raced for the door to arrive first at the cafeteria. Jisoo took his sweet time to collect his things while he waited for most people to be out of the room before he too exited to have a quick lunch.
However, he did not expect the crowd of people waiting by the hallway. Among them was the same guy who randomly hugged him earlier that morning.
"Jisoo!" The boy called out upon seeing him. He was just about to walk over to his direction, but stopped on his tracks when he saw that Jisoo was starting to back away and into the classroom again. "Wait! Please, listen to what I'll say. I promise I won't do anything creepy."
Jisoo eyed him warily, still not trusting the boy's words. He did not have any problem hugging him in front of a large audience previously, even declaring that they were dating when Jisoo knew it wasn't true. How could he know that this person would not do that again?
"Please, can we talk? Just the two of us. I swear I just want to talk to you. Jisoo, please..." The person pleaded over and over.
Jisoo was starting to feel uncomfortable from all the begging, not being accustomed to having pleaded to and with many students bearing witness to the scene. The immense attention being thrown at him was overwhelming. He could feel that the guy would not stop following him until he gave in even with an audience being present.
"...fine." He finally relented, though immediately followed with a threat. "But I'm warning you. No funny business or I'll call the police."
This seemed enough for the man as his expression cleared in relief. "Yes, I promise. Let's go somewhere more secluded."
Jisoo followed the other as they walked past the sea of people who had been hanging out along the corridor to watch their conversation. Some of them were patting the man's shoulder, giving words of encouragement. Some even addressed him, asking how he could forget his own boyfriend and to remember their love. It was all ridiculous to Jisoo; how the man could make so many people believe that they were really a couple.
Despite feeling nervous of being alone with the man, he continued to trail after him until they reached the school's rooftop. The bright, blue sky greeted him as the chilly breeze of spring blew past them. There was not a single person in sight, which made it a perfect spot to talk things out without being heard. It could also be a perfect spot to be assaulted with no one to cry to for help.
Once they were both out in the open, the man finally turned to him. There was an intense longing in his eyes that Jisoo could almost feel the warmth in them wrapping around him, being held by the other despite not being touched. Jisoo expected the other to jump on him the moment they were both alone but he remained a few steps away, keeping his promise of not doing anything sinister.
"Jisoo..." The man began, eyes still not leaving him. "Do you really not know who I am?"
"No, I don't." He answered in full honesty. After all, there was nothing to say but the truth. "I really don't know you."
"Are you sure?"
"I am." Jisoo confirmed. "How about you? Are you sure you got the right person?"
It was crazy, how one of them insisted that they knew each other while the other insisted that they did not.
Realizing the ridiculousness of their situation, the person let out a hollow laugh and shook his head. "I don't know what to make of this. Last week, we even celebrated our 300th day together then you disappeared like a bubble. And now you come back saying you don't recognize me."
"I'm sorry, I-I really don't know what to say." He told the man. "I know this will sound unbelievable, but it's really my first time meeting you."
The man studied him for a few seconds, seeming to weigh the truthfulness in his words. Jisoo returned the gaze with equal intensity, wanting to show that he was not lying. Finally, the other sighed in resignation.
"I guess there's no helping it. If you can't remember me, then I'll have to introduce myself all over again." He extended a hand to him. "I'm Choi Seungcheol. The man who keeps calling you his boyfriend for the past hour."
He eyed the offered hand carefully before slowly reaching out his own, shaking hands with the other. "Hong Jisoo."
"I know."
"So, uhm, Seungcheol-ssi? Would you care to tell why you're going around chasing me and saying that we're dating?" He asked. There were so many questions in his mind that only this person could answer.
"Ah, that. I know you won't believe it even if I say this over and over again, but we're actually dating." Seeing the same look of confusion on his face, Seungcheol continued. "I don't know what's happening, either. Last time we met was last Friday, when I drove you to your classmate's house because you said you were going to do a group project there. The next day, I tried calling and texting you but you weren't answering. I went to your classmate's place and he said you left early that night and you haven't contacted them since. I thought you were busy with something so I just let it be. But the day after and there was still nothing from you so I started getting worried."
"Yes, I remember going to my classmate's place for a project last Friday. But I wasn't with anyone; I went there alone." Jisoo replied, trying to remember the events of the said day. "I called my friend, told him I was coming and stayed until around eight in the evening. Then I went home and spent my weekends by myself. I didn't disappear or anything."
"So, you didn't go anywhere?" Seungcheol asked. When Jisoo shook his head, he pressed further. "I went to your apartment yesterday but you weren't there. I asked the landlady if she had seen you but she said she didn't see anyone come in since Friday. I tried calling everyone acquainted with you but none of them could tell me where you've gone to. I almost even called your parents in the US to ask if you could have possibly flown there on impulse. In the end, I didn't because if it happened that you weren't there, they would just worry about you, too."
"Wait, how did you know that my parents are in the US?" Jisoo asked, skeptical that the boy was aware of his family situation. No one knew that he was living alone in Korea except for people who should like the school admin and his landlady. Even his classmates did not, so how could Seungcheol know that?
"I told you, I am your, erm, boyfriend." The man scratched the back of his neck. "So yeah, I just patiently waited for you to contact me again, about to become paranoid from all the possible reasons why you disappeared without a word. I thought maybe you got kidnapped or even worse. I told myself I'll be reporting you missing if you still did not contact me today. And then when I came to school this morning, someone immediately told me that they saw you entered the school grounds. I rushed to see if it were true so when I saw you standing in that hallway, I just ran and embraced you tightly."
"Yeah, you've caused quite a scene there." He said awkwardly, recalling the commotion from earlier. "I was shocked when some stranger suddenly approached and hugged me in front of the entire school."
"Sorry, I just got really emotional after seeing you." Seungcheol apologized. "I was relieved to see that you're okay, and it never crossed my mind that you would forget me."
"I apologize for running away. You must be hurt that I could not remember-"
"It's okay." The man cut him off. "It's only natural that you become wary of someone you don't know. I know I would have done the same too, maybe even worse like punching the other guy."
At that, a small smile made its way to his lips. "Thank you for understanding."
The other smiled at him in return. Jisoo took this chance to observe the man's features. Seungcheol had fair skin, round eyes, and the longest eyelashes he had ever seen in a man. He had darling dimples on both cheeks when he smiled which made him look kinder and approachable. Seungcheol was actually a good-looking guy, and Jisoo wondered how come this man ended up (apparently) dating him when he was certain Seungcheol could have had someone better if he wanted to.
"Uhm, Seungcheol? If what you're saying is true, can you show me some proof that we're really together? Maybe some pictures or conversations between us." Jisoo shifted uncomfortably on his spot. "To be honest, it's not easy for me to accept what you're saying because I still believe in what I know. However, I don't want to dismiss you as a liar so I want to see a proof of your side of the story."
He knew it wouldn't be possible for both of them to be saying the truth, but Seungcheol seemed to be serious about his declarations. Jisoo wanted to make sure that this was not made up.
Jisoo almost expected Seungcheol to turn pale or panic at his request, an indication that he might be lying, but the man coolly took out his phone and looked for something to show him. When he faced the screen to Jisoo, he was shocked to see a picture of them, him and Seungcheol, together. Jisoo was even resting his head on Seungcheol's shoulder while the other had his arm outstretched to take the photo.
"Wha- How is that- How could we-" Jisoo could not finish his sentence as he stared at the image in disbelief.
It did not end there. Seungcheol browsed more pictures for him to check. The two of them eating ice cream together. A picture of Jisoo in Pikachu pajamas while watching anime on his laptop. Seungcheol kissing him on the cheek. A candid photo of them walking in the park while holding hands. They were too good, too real to be deemed fake. And if ever they were, whoever altered those pictures must be a genius.
"Do you believe me now?" Seungcheol said while putting away his phone. He watched as Jisoo continued to gape at him, shocked at the display of evidence. "If that's not enough I can also show you our messages, videos, and even an audio recording of you singing a song for my birthday. They're all here."
"But, how is this possible? I can't remember anything!"
"Did you hit your head or got injured? Maybe you had selective amnesia since last Friday." The man crossed the distance between them and, seeing that he did not back away unlike before, continued to watch him with a worried gaze. "I saw it in dramas on TV. The character forgot his lover and they had to rebuild their memories again."
"No, I did not get into an accident. And those things don't happen in real life, do they?" Jisoo said, racking his brain for any sign of forgetfulness. He felt fine; he was sure that nothing was wrong with him. Yet, how come he could not remember that Choi Seungcheol existed in his life?
Seeing that he was starting to panic again, Seungcheol placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Hey, it's okay. Don't force yourself to remember. If you think there's really nothing going on between us, it's fine."
"But-"
"Don't worry about me, and I'm sorry that I had to drag you all the way here to explain. If you want, you can go back to your normal life and pretend that we've never talked. You don't have to be a boyfriend to me just because I told you that you are." Seungcheol smiled encouragingly at him, yet he knew that the man must be suffering inside for having to say those words. Who wouldn't, when the person you loved could not remember you?
Bidding him goodbye, the man walked away and went to a corner of the rooftop where several old chairs had been stacked. He sat on one of those and just stared at the sky, his back facing him. Jisoo took it as his cue to leave, but his feet refused to move. He studied the man's slumped figure as silence continued to fill the place.
Relax, Jisoo. Try to think this over. He told himself as he tried to think of a way to solve his current situation.
Jisoo knew for a fact that he was single; he had been living three years of his life in Korea alone. Sure, he had been on some dates before, but nothing went beyond second meeting. He could recall every single person he went out with, and he knew that the man was none of them. More importantly, the existence of Choi Seungcheol was utterly unknown to him.
He was certain he wasn't forgetting anything; his memory was as clear as the day and he could swear on all his dead relatives' graves that he had never, ever met Seungcheol before this. Even on the slight possibility that he had indeed forgotten his identity, how could he not recall that he was on a relationship? It was ridiculous.
And yet the way Seungcheol looked at him, gave proof that he wasn't lying, Jisoo could not dismiss it as some prank or pretense. Seungcheol was really in a relationship with him, whether he acknowledged it or not.
Knowing that, would he still move on and pretend that this never happened?
Seungcheol felt a presence approaching his side and saw Jisoo occupying the chair next to his. He must not have expected the boy to join him as he looked at Jisoo with a confused expression. "Why are you still here?"
"I want to know more about...us." Jisoo answered, not meeting his eyes and chose to gaze at the open view in front of them. "I still can't believe that this is happening, but I decided to make efforts to understand."
"You don't have to do this."
"But I want to."
"I told you, I'm okay." Seungcheol repeated, whispering his next words that Jisoo almost missed them. "I'll be okay."
"Please, don't say that. I can see that you're not. It pains me too that someone loves me but I cannot return it. " This time, Jisoo looked at him. "And it's not only for you. I have to do this for myself. I will not be able to live normally knowing that a part of my memory is missing, especially when it involves a person who is supposed to be special to me."
Silence. After some time, the man finally spoke again. "What do you want to know?"
"Anything is fine. Like, how we got to know each other, the things that we do together..."
"Okay." Seungcheol stretched his legs as he stared up in the sky. There was a wistful look on his handsome face as he thought of things to tell him. "We were classmates in a minor subject last year. I've been borrowing your notes since we're seatmates and you were so kind to lend them every time. Actually, I didn't write in that class on purpose to have an excuse to talk to you. Then after I had the courage to ask you out, we started seeing each other. We became officially together after I confessed my feelings to you for all the entire school to hear by using the broadcasting room in the college building."
"So that's why the students were following our tiny drama in the hallway." Jisoo commented, amazed at his story.
"Yes, and they actually consider us a popular couple in the school." Seungcheol chuckled. "They are so supportive that whenever we get into arguments, they would tell us to make up or prepare an event to help us reconcile."
"Isn't that tiring? You know, having so many people getting involved in your- our- relationship?"
"It is, that's why we try not to show disagreement in public so they wouldn't try to get into our business anymore. Not that we often do, anyway. We get along fine with just about anything."
"How do I act around?"
"You mean how you are in our relationship?" When he nodded, the man continued. "You're sweet and gentle, always smiling and never getting angry at me. Sometimes you would get pissed off when I interrupt you watching anime or when I insist on something that you don't want to do. You would give me the cold shoulder and ignore me for some time. I've never heard you raise your voice; I'm actually the guilty one for that. I end up apologizing and you always, always welcome me back with your angelic smile."
"I-Interesting." Jisoo replied, although hearing the man describe him like that made him feel embarrassed. "I've been on dates a few times, but not getting together with anyone. Hearing how I act when in a relationship is fascinating to know."
"So in your case, you're single?"
"Yes." It sounded strange to answer, knowing that Seungcheol had a different perception of him as his supposed boyfriend. "I don't really have an interesting personality so no one takes notice of me. And I'm too busy with studies to look for someone myself. I prefer my quiet, single life as it is."
"Talking to you like this, you're not really different from the Jisoo that I know other than the fact that you don't remember me. If we have met like before, I would still probably do what I did, borrowing your notes to get closer to you."
"I think I will lend it to you, too." Jisoo could not help but chuckle as he tried to imagine the scenario. "Then maybe I wouldn't be single now."
At that, Seungcheol turned to fully face him, causing Jisoo to look back at the other as well. There was a slight smile playing on the man's lips and he could tell that Seungcheol had a sudden thought.
"How about you try dating me today? Just so you will feel how it's like to be in a relationship with someone."
The incredulous look on his face was enough answer to the other's absurd idea, forcing Seungcheol to explain further. "Don't get me wrong; I'm not trying to take advantage of you or anything, nor do I want to impose my assumptions on you. I just want you to feel how it's like to go on a date with me. Maybe, even if you don't recognize our relationship now, you will realize that having me for a boyfriend wouldn't be so bad. Then you might really start dating me of your own accord."
"Hmm..." Jisoo thought hard as to whether or not accept the offer. It wasn't like someone would get angry since technically he was the one seeing Seungcheol and he was supposed to be the one to feel that.
It was hard to count it as cheating when the boyfriend was having a date with his own lover, just without the memories of them being together. Ah, trying to put logic in this situation was useless!
"Come on, can you really pass off dating someone like me?" Seungcheol did a handsome pose and winked at him.
It took all of Jisoo's effort not to laugh. Finally, he agreed. "Fine, I hope you won't show me a bad time."
At his reply, the other's eyes lit up in excitement. "Really? Then, let's go!" Before he could protest, the other took him by the hand and led him out of the rooftop.
They left the school premises, ditching their remaining classes and went to the ice cream shop a few blocks away. It was Jisoo's favorite hangout place and he was surprised (or not) that Seungcheol knew about it. They bought an ice cream each, the man buying his favorite flavor without being told.
Then, they walked to the small playground nearby and had fun playing on the slide, the swing, with Jisoo laughing at Seungcheol struggling to hold on to the monkey bars while making effort to dangle his long legs off the ground. The two also played hide and seek, with Jisoo climbing up the tree and hiding among the branches, silently watching Seungcheol spinning round and round the entire playground looking for him.
The game ended when the man finally took out his phone and dialed something. In an instant, Jisoo's own device rang loudly inside his pocket. This caused the other to look up and find him on the tree, before walking over and reached out a hand to help him climb down.
"Goodness, Jisoo. How did you even think of hiding up there? You're like a cat." Seungcheol commented as he put his hands on Jisoo's sides and kept him safe on his landing.
This earned a small laugh from the boy. "But you cheated! You called my phone to track me down!"
"Well, I couldn't find you and I was also wondering if you have the same number. I guess I got lucky that it wasn't on silent."
They looked into each other's eyes and the joyous moment disappeared. Beneath the warm smile, Jisoo could see the pain in the other's gaze. Even after spending time together, he knew that Seungcheol still wished that he remembered about them.
"I'm sorry, Seungcheol." He murmured, heart heavy with sympathy for the man. "For forgetting you."
"It's not your fault." The other replied back. "If you can't remember, then we will just create new memories of us. We can get through this."
The man circled his arms around him and pulled him in an embrace. This time, Jisoo did not pull away. He just let the other hug him, to let him ease his longing even just for a bit. He still did not agree to take on the role of being Seungcheol's lover, but he could take this chance to discover if there was a possibility of them going the same path as before.
They were in that position when a memory flashed in his mind. Jisoo tried to hold on to it, but the feeling instantly disappeared and he could only remember some of it. He pulled away from the hug and stared at the other.
"Seungcheol, I remembered something. The night when I went home from my classmate's house last Friday."
At those words, Seungcheol's expression changed to surprise. "Really? What is it? Did you get into an accident?"
Jisoo shook his head. "I just remember riding off the bus and walking to the direction of my house. When I reached my apartment's road, the street lights started blinking."
The man was hanging on to his next words. "And then?"
"That's all I can remember. I was wondering why the lights were blinking. It was creepy, and I felt scared just recalling that..."
Seungcheol studied him for a few seconds, before running a comforting hand down his back. "Don't force yourself. It will come to you eventually. Just give it time."
Jisoo smiled gratefully at him. He couldn't help but appreciate how Seungcheol was treating him despite his own pain. After realizing that Jisoo could not remember him, he never tried to persuade him to believe again, simply supporting him and letting him choose his own decision.
Even though there were still a lot of questions hanging, Jisoo was willing to understand more. He would like to get to know Choi Seungcheol again. And maybe, just maybe, he would end up falling for the man for the second time around.