Work Text:
RPD Edition
The floors creaked nearby in the west section of the police department. Footsteps echoed and moans bellowed all around him. Marvin was still hanging on by a thread and Claire seemed out of reach, so Leon was on his own in this nightmare. He had three bullets left.
...But when he caught visual of the most disturbing thing of all, his mind went into immediate shock. In aghast horror, he placed his face inches from the window in full blown realization that the worst had come. His hair was slightly out of place! The zombies were catching up, though, lugging toward Leon at a frighteningly slow pace.
But it was hard to concentrate on the undead when Leon kept grabbing glances of his hair frizzing out, probably because of that cursed rain. His aim suffered at the realization of this crisis, and the zombie nearly caught him by surprise, but Leon slipped away and ran toward the only logical place he could consider in this nightmare: the bathroom.
He hurried away and locked the bathroom door. He was met with the sounds of running toilet water – if that wasn’t gross enough, his shoes were immediately soaked. At least the water looked clean – or perhaps it was laced with the virus that plagued Racoon. He would take virus over shit, though, if he were honest with himself.
When unwanted banging came from the other side of the door, Leon supposed he should check to see if there were other ‘visitors’ hiding out in the stalls, suspiciously closed off. He tiptoed around the pooling water and opened both doors, relieved to find no undead and hungry lurkers. But a divine white bottle caught his eye: the wonderful shape of hairspray.
Well, it said ‘Firstaid Medical Spray’, but honestly with the hint of CBD mixed in with the Arklay plants and essential oils, it conditioned the hair better than anything else he had ever tried – which was also why he wanted so badly to be placed in Raccoon. Leon had to say, he was less than impressed with the atmosphere so far.
Still, Leon did have some form of rational thought left. He internalized priorities for a moment: he might need to heal himself if the worst came to pass, and one of those ghouls took a nibble out of him. But his hair was a disaster all on its own! Then he realized he must have talked to Marvin with those few strands out of place, and wanted to die of embarrassment right then and there.
The outside groaners adamantly banged on the door, threatening to make his wish come true, and the lock scooted ever so slightly out of place. Leon reached for the spray bottle, took one look at himself in the mirror, and sprayed it into his hair. He then flattened and parted it ever so correctly, running his fingers through the soft bangs.
Perfection.
Now he could finally deal with the zombies.