Chapter Text
Knock knock.
Two faint taps on his door. If his phone hadn’t died and killed off the music he’d been playing on full volume half an hour ago, he probably wouldn’t have heard it. Not like it matters anyway. He has no plans to get up and answer it.
"Chan?"
He covered his head with a pillow. He doesn't care why his cousin was knocking... Doesn't care if it's to comfort him, give him food, or tell him to take the next bus home. He just wants to sleep. It's been a while since he'd been able to do so. With countless nights spent making plans for his "escape", he didn't exactly have much time for a good night's rest.
Deciding to run away from home had been more thrilling than the actual process. In theory, it sounded liberating and exciting. Taking off at the dead of night with nothing but his skateboard and a backpack with more food than clothes inside read like the stuff of thrilling YA novels. In, practice, he felt nothing but anxiety and uncertainty. When he’d knocked on the door of his cousin’s house on top of the family bakery that morning, he’d felt an overwhelming fear of rejection. After all, no matter how kind-hearted and loving he remembered his cousin to be, they hadn't really seen each other since he was ten. He's sixteen now and whatever fondness and attachment he might have had for him has probably faded by now. But he had no choice, Seokmin was the only relative he had who lived far enough from home but still kept a good relationship with his family.
They were in a similar position, Chan convinces himself. He heard that Seokmin left college after his first semester, while he dropped out of high school right before junior year. The only difference was that the older had no choice and he... well... he doesn’t really have the most solid reason. Personally, if you ask him, he would say he had no choice either. His parents would have said he was being selfish and immature. In essence, though, they were going through the same thing.
He glances at his skateboard that had rolled off to a corner. It looked as battered as you'd expect a newbie skater's board to be. But it wasn't just his fault that it had fallen into such disrepair. With the number of times his father has thrown it to the ground in anger and then locked it away before Chan could make any repairs, it was bound to look as terrible as it did. But it held up. It still does a good job of functioning as though nothing happened. Chan respects it for that. He understands and honestly, he's starting to think he might have more in common with that skateboard than his cousin.
“Chan, I promise I didn’t tell auntie or uncle anything.”
Chan calls bull on that. He knew the moment his cousin’s eyes looked at him with worry, and a hint of panic, that his plan to stay with him had crumbled to pieces. Despite being welcomed in and led to a room for him to rest in, he knew there was no chance of him staying long-term. Why don't you rest for a while and maybe we can figure things out later? Seokmin had said with a reassuring smile. Chan wasn't a fool though, and he knew that his cousin intended to talk him into going home.
“Channie, please talk to me.”
The muffled voice was accompanied by the soft rattling of a doorknob. He feels guilty now. He'd banged on his cousin's door in the early morning, pleading to be taken in. The older man had no obligation to do so, and he honestly could (or should) have sent him to the police and reported him as a runaway. Really, he has no right to lock himself in the small guest room and refuse to talk to his cousin. He hadn't even really explained himself, simply saying that he desperately needed a place to crash until he could figure out where else to go. Seokmin was just concerned. He knew that if his cousin were to tell on him to his parents, he would do so because he believed it was for the best.
“Chan!”
He sounded more urgent this time, but gentle nonetheless. He probably assumed that Chan couldn’t hear him. Chan wished he couldn’t. He wanted peace and quiet.
Grabbing the sides of his pillow, he wrapped it tighter around his head till his cousin’s voice had been completely drowned out. He closed his eyes and willed for his breathing to slow, relaxing every part of his body that he could. He cleared his mind and allowed the exhaustion of the past restless nights to push him over the edge of sleep.
*****
“I’m sorry but he’s currently locked himself in the room and I think it’s best he be left alone for now.”
He’s on the floor. He doesn’t know how he ended up there, but the warmness of the tiles beneath him says he’d been lying there for a while now. “Damn it,” he muttered, as he began to feel the consequences of having fallen off the bed and sleeping on the cold, hard floor. He scratches his arms and neck, feeling too warm from having been tangled in the blankets.
“Trust me, Seokmin-ssi, I need to see him right now.”
Chan’s head snapped to the door. There was someone else outside. It sounded like a man. "Damn it." he cursed again. The wort thoughts ran through his mind. "Hyung called mom and dad.' 'Dad's here to pick me up.' With a palpitating heart, he crawled up to press his ear against the thin, drywall.
“Please, sir.”
He releases a sigh of relief that took even him off guard. It’s not one of his parents, but it is someone he knows. It’s a voice he hadn’t heard from in the past two months. Suddenly, his heart was pounding. It pounded harder than when he had thought his dad came to pick him up. Clammy hands struggled to find leverage to pull himself up, settling on the doorknob. Be it the nerves or his thoughts running rampant, he could not bring himself to stand. He stumbles through the door, falling at the feet of someone who, for the longest time, knew him best. The words stuck to his throat, no matter how hard his mind tried to push them out.
“Chan!”
It was him! It really was him! “H-Hyung,” Chan releases a shaky breath. “Vernon-hyung!”