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It was very quiet. Of course, Hisoka was used to the stillness that came with Illumi, but he never felt completely comfortable in the silence. He tolerated it, but it wasn’t something he would ever seek out.
That’s how Illumi was. He was quiet, and still, and everything about him felt somehow soft.
Hisoka was just the opposite. He was loud, flamboyant, wild, full of life. He had a knack for making people talk, and he himself wasn’t the kind of person to just be quiet.
It didn’t make sense, him and Illumi. But they worked together. They fit. Hisoka knew what Illumi’s normal silence was like, and Illumi understood Hisoka’s larger-than-life personality.
This wasn’t Illumi’s normal silence. Hisoka knew what that felt like. This was more pressing, heavier somehow.
“Illumi?”
No answer.
“Illumi?” he called again. Still nothing. Hisoka wasn’t worried. He didn’t get worried. He just didn’t let himself care too much about anything. If he didn’t care about anything, he couldn’t worry. Still.
“Lumi?” Hisoka tried again, keeping his voice from getting too flustered. “Lu?” He walked back towards the bedroom. He softly rapped his knuckles against the door. He waited a moment. Nothing.
With a soft exhale, Hisoka pushed open the door. Illumi was there, just as he’d thought. The black-haired man sat on the bed, his legs tucked under him, long hair falling around his face.
“I was looking for you.”
Illumi didn’t seem to hear Hisoka. His hands are in his lap, and he’s so still.
Hisoka breathes out slowly and moves towards the bed. He sits down carefully. “Illumi?” he whispers. Illumi still doesn’t answer.
Hisoka hates when Illumi gets like this. He wants to be able to cheer his husband up, to lift his spirits, and make everything go away except the two of them. But he can’t.
He reaches out a hand and gently touches Illumi’s shoulder. “Lu.”
And finally, Illumi looks up. “Hisoka.” His voice is so soft and small. He blinks at Hisoka with those huge eyes, and Hisoka just wants to give him the world. He can’t, of course, but he’ll try.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes,” Illumi replies, his voice flat.
Hisoka looks at Illumi. He doesn’t speak, just pulls Illumi into a hug, tight against his chest. Illumi stiffens at first, but Hisoka doesn’t let go. After a moment, Illumi begins to soften. He wraps his arms around the magician and buries his head in his shoulder. Hisoka holds him close.
This happens much too often. Illumi has a bad day, and Hisoka tries to help.
Sometimes Illumi will cry. Hisoka knows Illumi doesn’t like talking about it, whatever it is. He’s learned to just let Illumi be sad. Hisoka wants to do something more, and he’s almost disappointed in himself for not being able to help his husband properly.
For now, however, he’ll just sit here, holding Illumi, until his sobs turn into sniffles, and his sniffles turn into the soft breaths of sleep.