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“Okay, up you go”
Taehyun hoists Beomgyu up from his seat immediately after entering the bar and locating the booth his friends are sitting in. The air inside is stuffy with the sickening smells of different kinds of alcohols mixed, the striking scents of perfume and cologne, and the faint trails of tobacco smoke.
“Taehyunnie!” Beomgyu exclaims delightedly with a loud voice. He lets himself to be lifted from the booth, but his drunken mind and gooey body won’t exactly offer any help to the younger. Taehyun sighs and maneuvers Beomgyu so that the older can practically hang off of him in order to keep himself upright. Beomgyu leans his hazy head on Taehyun’s shoulder, his slightly messy hair tickling the skin on the younger’s jaw and neck.
Underneath the reek of alcohol, Taehyun can still smell the hints of Beomgyu’s floral shampoo and his citrus-based cologne. The scents are comfortingly familiar.
The two other people in the booth, Yeonjun and Kai, take note of Taehyun’s sudden appearance a few seconds later. The blonde boy receives two very drunk and very enthusiastic greetings. Yeonjun seems borderline hyper as he always does when drunk, and Hueningkai seems like there’s way too many funny thoughts running through his mind, if the grin on his face is anything to go by.
“Why does this always happen?” Taehyun complains while trying to keep a tight hold of Beomgyu so that the older won’t suddenly collapse on the floor, “Why do you keep letting Beomgyu drink himself to this point?” he gives an annoyed look to the two disheveled boys still sitting down with their drinks.
To be fair, it’s not even very often that something like this happens. The boys don’t go out every week, often times not even every month. It just feels like too often when seeing Beomgyu this out of it and Taehyun knowing it’s him who needs to take care of the older.
Not that he wouldn’t take care of the older whenever he gets himself drunk. He’s made Beomgyu swear he will call Taehyun whenever he starts feeling like he may have gone a little overboard and might need help getting home. There is no way Taehyun will ever let there be a chance that the older is somewhere lying dead on a ditch, or getting mugged on some unknown streets while in a vulnerable state. Luckily, just like all the times before, also today Beomgyu had managed to make the call to Taehyun, even in the midst of his intoxication.
Yeonjun stares at Taehyun, eyes wide while spluttering some indescribable nonsense to him as an excuse. What Taehyun can gather, the oldest of them thinks he nor Hueningkai can be blamed for Beomgyu’s current state. Taehyun sighs again, rolls his eyes and then smiles a little tiredly.
“Whatever”, he says, “Do you guys want a ride home too?”
Yeonjun and Hueningkai live in the university dorms, as does Soobin, while Taehyun and Beomgyu have their rented studios little further away on the other side of the downtown. But it’s not that long of a way that Taehyun would mind taking the other two home as well. At least he’d know for sure that they were safe.
“No, no, no! I still want to dance-”, Yeonjun starts blabbering quickly. He suddenly jumps up from his seat, effectively spilling the lasts of his drink on the table, “Oh, oopsie. Anyways, Soobin will come pick us up later”, he continues as he haphazardly somewhat wipes the sticky liquid off the table, “Come on, Hyuka! Let’s go dance again!” he then urges the youngest of them.
Hueningkai, being himself, of course immediately agrees, he too jumping up from his seat, an excited grin plastered on his face. Taehyun takes a look at the dance floor; it’s pretty small and quite crowded. People seem to be having fun. It’s not actually even that late yet, it’s just little over midnight at this point. Sometimes Taehyun wonders how Beomgyu even manages to get himself this wasted this fast. He rolls his eyes, and gives Yeonjun a blank look,
“You know, one of these days Soobin’s gonna get tired of your needy ass and leave you”
Taehyun and Soobin rarely accompany the other three to these occasional party evenings. Neither of them really cares for the crowds, the noise or the excessive consumption of alcohol. Soobin sometimes only comes to accompany his boyfriend. And Taehyun, well Taehyun sometimes comes, -if he’s being completely honest-, because of Beomgyu, and how irresistible the older can be when he really wants Taehyun to come with him.
“Not true~", Yeonjun sing-songs and gives Taehyun a wide, innocent smile, “You always come to get Beomgyu no matter what and you guys aren’t even together like me and Soobin~"
Taehyun immediately gets what Yeonjun is implying, and the tips of his cheeks start turning red.
“Shut up, Choi”, he hisses.
Beomgyu, who’s been awfully quiet and relaxed against Taehyun’s torso, suddenly whips his head up, looking at Taehyun with wide eyes, “But I didn’t even say anything”
“Not you”, Taehyun says to the drunk boy on his arms, “The other Choi in here”
Now Beomgyu’s face breaks into a happy smile and he looks around excitedly, “Soobin’s here?”
“You idiot”, Taehyun sighs, but the words come out much more fondly than they were meant to. Yeonjun and Hueningkai are starting to make their way towards the dance floor. Taehyun takes a better grip of Beomgyu, ready to manhandle him out of the bar.
“Hyuka, look after him and make sure you call Soobin at reasonable hours”, Taehyun half-shouts at Hueningkai, pretty sure that out of the three, the youngest is the least wasted right know. Kai sends him a thumbs up, before he and Yeonjun disappear somewhere inside the mass of dancing bodies.
Getting Beomgyu out and into the car turns out to be a lot easier than Taehyun had expected. The older is rather compliant on Taehyun’s arms. The hardest part of the process is to get Beomgyu to let go of the younger when Taehyun is trying to sit him in the car and close the door. Drunk Beomgyu is a different kind of clingy Beomgyu.
The drive to Beomgyu’s apartment isn’t long. Taehyun keeps all the windows down so that there’s a cross-draught of the fresh night air, hopefully slightly clearing up Beomgyu’s head. The older drunkenly blabbers about the evening and all kinds of other random stuff, Taehyun only listening with half an ear.
They take the elevator to the third floor of the apartment complex. Taehyun fishes the keys to Beomgyu’s studio from the older’s pocket, letting them inside. It’s almost eerily quiet after the noisy bar and the aggressive whooshing of the wind. The door clicks shut behind Beomgyu and Taehyun and the silent darkness surrounds them. Taehyun flicks the dim hallway light on and then kicks his shoes off.
He somewhat carries Beomgyu further inside the apartment, and eventually sets him down to sit on the edge of the bed. The older is suddenly a lot quieter. Taehyun guesses he’s slowly coming down from the intoxication now, and the quietness, the darkness and the lack of other people are calming him down a little.
Taehyun bends down to take off Beomgyu’s shoes, “How are you feeling?” he asks quietly, giving the older a small smile. The light of the lamp on the desk that Taehyun had turned on a minute ago illuminates the room in warm, yellow shine. Beomgyu’s pupils are big as he stares at Taehyun with his drowsy eyes.
“Good. Great. Amazing”, the older answers, “A little dizzy maybe”. His cheeks are flushed in pretty pink color, and his hair has been finally completely mussed due to the strong wind earlier. Taehyun gets up from the floor again and then reaches to quickly comb his fingers through Beomgyu’s hair, just to get it somewhat in place again. The older closes his eyes for a few second, letting out a quiet hum of contentment and happiness.
It’s these kinds of small things Beomgyu does that make Taehyun’s heart miss a beat in the middle of its steady rhythm.
The younger snaps himself out of it, “You’re gonna have a hell of a hangover tomorrow”, he then says to Beomgyu and heads towards the tiny kitchenette area, “I’m gonna get you a big glass of water”
“But I don’t want to drink water. I feel icky and full already”, the older whines from the edge of the bed.
Taehyun sighs. They’ve had this exact same conversation too many times before. At this point, Beomgyu knows very well he’s not going to get to go to sleep before he’s downed that water. And yet he still complains every time. Taehyun fills up the glass and then takes it to Beomgyu, “It will help you feel better”
The older pouts, glaring at him for a moment, before then finally accepting the glass when he realizes, yet again, that Taehyun’s not going to back down. He raises the glass to his lips, his hand slightly shaking, and takes a small sip. Then another, and a little later a third one. After that he tries to give the glass back to Taehyun, but to no avail. The younger just shakes his head and Beomgyu sighs dramatically.
“You and your obsessive need for people to drink water”, the older hisses under his breath.
“You’re going to thank me in the morning when your throat isn’t quite as dry as the Sahara Desert”, Taehyun shrugs and smiles. Then, carefully, he sits down on the edge of the bed as well, right next to the older.
The silence is closer to deafening, as the two boys sit quietly next to each other for a long time. Beomgyu taking small sips of the water, trying to get it all down as the downturn and sleepiness are starting to cloud his eyes and head. And Taehyun just patiently waiting, deep down secretly enjoying the peaceful, quiet closeness he and Beomgyu are currently sharing.
It’s Beomgyu who eventually breaks the tranquil silence. He reaches to set the empty glass on the floor next to the bed. Then he turns to face Taehyun, his eyes scarily perceptive for a drunk person. He is still drunk though, Taehyun just wonders how much.
“Yeonjun’s right”, Beomgyu suddenly says, “You always come pick me up no matter what. We aren’t even like Soobin and Yeonjun, but you always come pick me up and take care of me”, he continues, his face breaking into a cute smile as he stares at Taehyun with his wide, hazy eyes, “You are just the sweetest Kang Taehyun. You make me feel very special, I like you a lot”
It’s probably just Beomgyu and his drunken blabberings, but Taehyun still almost feels like there’s a trace of pure honesty and vulnerability behind the older’s words. The air in the room shifts a little. He stares back at Beomgyu, trying to swallow down whatever feelings the older, his words and actions are steadily bringing to the surface over and over again. He doesn’t want to think too much of anything now, not in this particular nightly drunken scenario.
But Beomgyu keeps them locked in the eye contact. There’s a new kind of electricity surrounding them and Taehyun finds himself almost holding in his breath.
“Can I kiss you?”
Beomgyu suddenly whispers, having ever so slowly inched himself closer to Taehyun.
Taehyun’s mind short circuits for a moment. During those few short seconds, about a thousand and one emotions run through his heart and body.
“No”
Like a glass vase smashed against a hard surface, Taehyun’s answer completely shatters the built-up tension.
Beomgyu flinches backwards at the word. His features immediately twist into what can only be recognized as hurt and embarrassment, shame even. The sight alone is enough to hurt Taehyun’s heart. Beomgyu turns his head away.
Taehyun wants to say I’m sorry. But instead he just bites down to his tongue and keeps quiet. If he asked if he can kiss someone and they would reject him and then offer him a pitying I’m sorry, Taehyun would surely punch that person in the face.
It’s not that he doesn’t want to kiss Beomgyu.
Quite far from it actually. Who wouldn’t want to kiss the person they’ve been pretty much in love with for forever?
And maybe someone else would jump on any given chance to kiss their crush. But Taehyun won’t. He’s not going to kiss Beomgyu when the older is drunk out of his mind and not capable of making any measured decisions. The older is in a vulnerable position and Taehyun is not going to take advantage of that.
And Taehyun doesn’t want to be kissed because of some drunken vagary. Especially not when it comes to Beomgyu.
“Beomgyu...”, Taehyun whispers. The older is avoiding eye contact now. Taehyun can see there’s wetness forming in the corners of Beomgyu’s eyes.
“You’re drunk and I’m tired. We shouldn’t do this now”, Taehyun says then. He wants to reach out and explain that this isn’t a rejection, but right now isn’t the best possible time to have that conversation, “Let’s talk in the morning, okay? You really should sleep now”
Beomgyu is quiet for a moment, before whispering a small yeah. Then he moves to lie on the bed, immediately pulling the duvet over himself when Taehyun gets up.
“Stay on your side, okay?” Taehyun whispers. It’s the safest position to be in when there’s a possibility for a sudden nausea and vomiting. Beomgyu doesn’t respond, but he stays on his left side, eyes closed and back turned to Taehyun.
Quietly, Taehyun walks back to the kitchenette area. He pours some water into a pot and boils it on the stove, simultaneously preparing himself a mug and a teabag. He listens carefully as Beomgyu’s breathing eventually evens out.
Beomgyu’s hurt weighs heavy on Taehyun’s heart. But when the older finally falls asleep, Taehyun’s own hurt and uncertainty also start slowly creeping up.
For a long time, it’s been hard for Taehyun to point where he and Beomgyu exactly stand with each other. Taehyun is very perceptive, but feelings have an annoying tendency to make everything a little fuzzier. They also have a tendency to make a person unnecessary insecure.
Considering how hurt of Taehyun’s rejection Beomgyu had seemed to be, Taehyun would like to think that there’s some true, deeper feelings there, not just some random drunken whim. But there’s also the gnawing anxiety that Beomgyu will wake up, laugh and apologize for being so hammered that he would have kissed anybody.
The clock is nearing to half past two in the morning. Taehyun slowly drinks his now lukewarm tea, sinking somewhere deep in his thoughts. Occasionally, he gets up and walks up to Beomgyu’s bed, checking that the older is okay and sleeping peacefully, and not choking on his vomit or something.
The sight of the older bundled up in his blanket, just some hair, his closed eyes and his nose peeking from underneath it, makes Taehyun smile a little.
It’s just Beomgyu, Taehyun finally realizes. Whatever there is or isn’t between them, they can always work it out. They will work it out.
~~~
I went home. Call me when you wake up
3:14am
No. Just let me die in peace
1:21pm
That bad huh?
1:23pm
It’s not the hangover
1:23pm
I’m coming over
1:24pm
Taehyun knocks on Beomgyu’s door a couple of times as a warning and then opens the door with the spare key he has to the older’s apartment. They have each other’s spare keys in case one of them accidentally locks themselves out sometime. Taehyun had taken the key in case Beomgyu isn’t able to come to the door or even willing to let him in.
The younger steps inside and kicks his shoes off. He walks further inside and notices that Beomgyu is still lying on his bed, the blanket still mostly covering his body. This time the older is just lying on his back, staring at the ceiling with tired eyes.
“Hey”, Taehyun greets Beomgyu, a small smile rising to his lips at the sight of the older. Beomgyu raises his hand to a little wave, wordlessly greeting the younger, not meeting his eyes.
“Rough night?” Taehyun grins, not being able to resist the enticement of little teasing, even if the atmosphere is fragile in a way.
“Oh yeah, just rub salt into the wounds”, Beomgyu says, drily and unimpressed.
Taehyun stifles a small laugh and calms his expression. Then he asks, genuinely this time, “Are you okay?”
“What do you think?”
Taehyun is quiet for a moment. Then, slowly, he walks up to Beomgyu’s bed and climbs to sit on the foot of it. He crosses his legs, looking at Beomgyu who’s still staring at the ceiling.
“Do you like me, Beomgyu?” he then asks, “Cause it wasn’t a rejection, you know”
Beomgyu sits up on the bed, looking all sorts of disheveled as he finally looks at Taehyun,
“No? Because it sure sounded and felt like one. And, at this point, isn’t it kinda obvious that I like you?”
“No, not really”, Taehyun answers, “Beomgyu, you were wasted out of your mind last night. I’m not going to believe anything you say when you’re in that state. And I’m not going to kiss you for the first time when you’re drunk”
The haziness in Beomgyu’s eyes suddenly gets replaced with something akin to curiosity and hope, “Then would you kiss me when I’m sober?”
A smile raises to Taehyun’s lips again, filled with fondness and a pinch of sudden shyness, “Yeah, I would”
The way Beomgyu’s face lights up at Taehyun words, lights up Taehyun’s whole world.
The younger moves on the bed so that he’s sitting right in front of Beomgyu. Carefully, he places the tips of his fingers under Beomgyu’s chin. The air surrounding them is vibrating with anticipation as Taehyun slowly leans closer to the older. His lips are only a couple of inches from Beomgyu’s when he suddenly halts his movement and says quietly,
“But, you know, being half dead from hangover doesn’t count for being sober”
Then he leaves the lightest peck on the older’s lips.
“You’ll get a proper kiss tomorrow when you’re back on your feet again”, Taehyun grins and leans away from Beomgyu again, breaking any physical contact they were just sharing.
“Hey!” the older exclaims, disappointment written all over his features, “I’ll be completely fine by this evening, just so you know” he then says with pure determination.
Taehyun lets out a bright laugh,
“We’ll see”