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tooru <3: bro makki you gotta help me
tooru <3: omfg i’m gonna piss myself makki help
tooru <3: ik you’re seeing this cmon
makki👰♂️: what the actual fuck is so important
tooru <3: i’m going on a date with iwa-chan and i need to shave my ass
makki👰♂️:
u’ve gotta be fucking with me
tooru <3: makki i’m serious i actually need help
makki👰♂️: i literally won’t think he’ll care y’all have been through everything together
tooru <3: ok but like the other day i shaved my legs and he liked it so what is he implying?????
tooru <3: i’m gonna fucking cry hold on
tooru <3: ok i’m back, mentally stable, but i still don’t know what to do
makki👰♂️: like i said, he will not care ffs.
tooru <3: WHAT IF HE BREAKS UP WITH MW
makki👰♂️: brb
makki👰♂️: bro
mattsun🤵♀️: what’s up ?
makki👰♂️: how do u shave your ass
mattsun🤵♀️: how do i shave my what..
makki👰♂️: oikawas upset bc he has a date with iwa and he doesn’t know how to shave his ass???
makki👰♂️: idk i just need help bc hes having a tantrum
mattsun🤵♀️: i’m no expert but just like …. glide the razor across ur ass easy peasy
makki👰♂️: wouldnt that make his ass bleed tho
mattsun🤵♀️: shiiiiiiiiiit idk😂👎 thats his problem not mine 🤥
makki👰♂️: 💯
makki👰♂️: why don’t u just ask iwa what he thinks
tooru <3: are you a fucking idiot
makki👰♂️: i’m just trying 2 b helpful damn
makki👰♂️: if you just ask him everything will be resolved and you won’t have to waste your time
tooru <3: but that’s so embarrassing
makki👰♂️: yk what fuck you and ur problems i’m asking him myself
tooru <3: WAIT NO STOP IT
makki👰♂️: dude
iwa: ?
makki👰♂️: would u care if oikawa didn’t shave his asshole
iwa: i’m still getting head either way what’s the point
makki👰♂️: i hate you and y’all’s relationship it’s too perfect
iwa: if ur that desperate maybe you should be like me
makki👰♂️: that’s why i fucked your mom
iwa: 🖕also why did u even ask me if i cared if oikawa shaved his ass ?
makki👰♂️: he panick messaged me with ‘i’m going on a date with iwa-chan and i need to shave my ass’
iwa: .
iwa: what did you tell him
makki👰♂️: well i was gonna tell him to shove it up his ass but
iwa: yk what i’ll just talk to him myself
iwa: oikawa..
tooru <3: i swear i didn’t do anything
iwa: ?
tooru: nvm what
iwa: u do realize i don’t care if i shave ur ass right?
tooru <3: im gonna beat the shit out of hanamaki when i see him
iwa: ????????? why
tooru <3: BCUZ I TOLD HIM NOT TO TELL YOU AND EVIDENTLY HE DID💔💔💔💔
iwa: it’s not that big a deal quit being a drama queen
tooru <3: i’m breaking up with you
iwa: mk
tooru <3: we are back together again plz come over
iwa: okay.
