Chapter Text
Sorrow.
It was the first thing you felt, and you hadn’t even opened your eyes yet, but it wasn’t as if you needed to. You could sense it hanging in the air and keeping you company like an old friend you’d known too well. It blanketed you; weighing heavily on your body and securing you to the physical world. It brought you some sort of sad comfort: that you had yet to lose everything.
Everything. ‘How peculiar.’ What had you lost? You… couldn’t say. It was hard to recall.
You were still… unconscious? Perhaps not. It was hard to tell. Stuck lingering between the waking world and that of sleep. It had been a long time since you slept as comfortably as you did now. Maybe you’d rest for a few minutes more?
There was a light tug on your chest, and you could feel your body move, despite feeling no pain, nor actual discomfort. You felt lighter. It was a strange occurrence. Should… should you be feeling this? Why did it seem as though you shouldn’t have?
You weren’t allowed to doze between the states for long. You felt something pierce your chest - yet you received no pain. It would have been worrying, had it not rushed your body from it’s stiff state into that of a relaxed exhale. You could feel the unnoticable paralysis slowly lift. There were no pins and needles pricking at your skin unlike most times, only the feeling of a weight lifting off your body. Yet you still couldn’t move. Your muscles felt too lax, and your eyelids too heavy. You had no real reason to open them after all.
“Come home, dear.” Something whispered, stroking the strands of your hair loosely. “You’re almost here…” Their voice was distinctly male, and you could practically feel him fill the air with his disturbing magic as every word echoed. There was a hint of desperation hidden underneath all the confidence and gentle coaxing. It was foreign, but the sadness he radiated was dreadfully familiar.
Familiar… You craved the familiarity. Your eyelids still heavy, you cracked them enough to see the world in a collection of blurred colors and unrecognizable shapes. Taking a slow, burning breath, you gave him a tired smile. You weren’t sure why it was your first reaction, but something about his turmoil caused empathy to well in your chest.
There was a long silence, and the stiff fingers running through your hair froze. You couldn’t see him, as your eyesight was only a rough gradient of black and grey, but you heard him stand from his seat as it scratched against the floor. He pulled away from you, but your smile never fell. He wouldn’t be away for long, after all. Less than ten seconds elapsed before he came back, his arms slowly crawling under your back and legs to lift you up. You had already shut your eyes again, far too tired to keep them open, even with the gentle smile still on your face. Strange; what were you smiling about?
Barely conscious, you felt him stand, holding your body in an almost cradling gesture before he exited the room you were in. He walked in slow, but steady steps and a destination in mind, but a single word had yet to be exchanged between the two of you. The magic he had been spilling from his body had changed from its usual somberness to bottled excitement. He walked for a few minutes, if the counting in your mind was correct: then for five minutes and thirty-two seconds. Though time did seem unreliable in the state you were in.
You could see nothing, and yet you had a feeling that if you did open your eyes once again, it would be the same boring blur of grey and black. He opened a door again, the creaking of wood and steel hinges filling the silent air beside his footsteps. A piece of you wondered how he had opened the door without disturbing his hold on your limp body, but quickly shuffled the thought away as he closed the door behind you with an unintentional slam. His footsteps had become more rushed, no longer holding in the excitement that had been broiling beneath his facade of calm magic.
But it was the last thing you felt before you slipped back into unconsciousness.
It was different. This sleep - it didn’t feel as heavy as your last one did. It didn’t feel as imposing. It was almost as if you could have been woken by anything - the slightest disturbance - but you didn’t. The atmosphere had lost its energy and was replaced with another familiar calm, until it was gone altogether. He had left, most likely.
So for now, you were left to your dreams - or lack thereof.
It was strange. You were sure you were dreaming. It wasn’t the dreamlessness that you were familiar with; there was simply nothing there. Nothingness, although usually disturbing, was more saddening than you remembered it being. You didn’t wish for nothingness anymore - you didn’t want it if you didn’t have to have it. So you forced yourself awake, ignoring the speck of light in the far corner of your dream’s eyes.
You weren’t sure how long you’d slept, but if past experiences had told you anything, then it was longer than you expected. Your eyelids still felt heavy, and the force applied to your body was far too imposing to try and move, so your eyes, although still unfocused, darted around the room. The first thing you saw was the black drapes hanging over the bed frame’s canopy. They were thick and blocked out most light, but thinned out as they rolled down to the floor. The bed you were laying on nearly swallowed you whole. All the blankets, pillows, and bedsheets were some sort of black, white, or grey.
Half of the furniture looked Victorian. The dresser on the far right side of the large room. The nightstand to the left of the bed. The personal desk in the far left corner and the shelf filled with books and bolted to the wall above. The door to the walk-in closet on the right wall, perpendicular to your line of sight. The only thing you couldn’t see clearly, but knew was obviously there, was the door right in front of the bed - double doors if you guessed correctly, by how large the door frame was.
You wanted to get up. You wanted to move around. It almost felt like you had remained in the same spot for - well, forever. You didn’t know what sparked the sudden adventure in you, but you wanted to know your surroundings. It was all so different from what you were used to.
The stone walls. The glass and steel windows. The dark oak doors. They were nothing like home…
Home..?
Home? - Where were you ? What were you doing here? Why were you here? What was going on?
You had a hard time remembering what you were last doing before arriving here in this strange new place, but the sudden panic that was scorching through your body was terribly dulled. Shouldn’t you feel more scared? You were more confused than worried or afraid. Even then, you remained outwardly stoic. Another question arose: how?
How had you managed to keep your emotions so dulled? How had you kept your facial features from twisting into that of fear? Last you remembered, you were an open book. You couldn’t always control your emotions like this. Did something happen? Although this was the least of your diluted worries.
You could hear the distant pattering of footsteps - rushed and almost a little panicked - like they were trying to hold back from running to save face, but only barely. They were headed right for your room, and in a way you found it almost laughable. Who was worried about you ?... How long had it been since someone was worried about you?
A few weeks perhaps. A friend of yours always fretted over your well being whenever you were feeling bad… You were a bad friend.
The door opened and closed quickly but silently, and you blinked, trying to squint and see who was standing at the doorway. You didn’t have to wonder for long. They came around the bedside. They approached you like some sort of fragile piece of art - or perhaps a feral animal they once knew.
Standing before you was… to describe them simply, they were a monster. What type? Well honestly, it was hard to discern when they had a tar-like substance dripping from their clothes and body that was obstructing their core form. One of their eyes was covered in it, and their arms and face were an abyss-like black as well. Their eye lights were a bright cerulean blue, but you had a feeling they hadn’t been this bright in a very long time. Their gaze had long since locked onto yours, but as terrifying as they looked, your emotions were still diluted.
You stared at them with wide eyes, but they lacked the fear you expected them to have. Your head was turned towards them, and you waited for them to speak, after all, it wasn’t as if you could move.
He spoke your name in a gravely whisper. “You… you’re awake.” He stared down at you with the same shocked expression, and you could tell he was the one who woke you the first time.
“Mmm.” You hummed in confirmation.
“C-can you move?” He stared at you as if you were surreal. He spoke to you as if you would disappear at a moment’s notice.
It took a moment, but you finally got your lips to pry apart. “N-no.” Why was it so difficult to speak? You were barely understandable. Your throat felt constricted and your voice hoarse.
Despite your answer, you watched him slump from his stiff stature and take a seat beside you on the bed. His expression immediately shifted to something tender, and you watched in horror as he leaned down and smiled at you. His teeth were flat and lined up tightly beside each other. Though the edges of his smile were sharp, you knew they were softer than they could have been.
“It’s good to see you again, moonlight.” He brushed his brittle fingers against your forehead, pushing your hair away from your face.
Out of everything the stranger could have said, this was perhaps the most disturbing and unexpected response. Your body reacted on its own - jolting as shock and terror filled your eyes. The corners of your mouth had even turned downwards slightly. How did he know that nickname? Why did he know that nickname? You couldn’t voice your confusion, but for once, the emotion didn’t seem so diluted. Your eyebrows knitted together as you stared at him.
Yet he said nothing. He knew you were confused. He knew there was a chance you wouldn’t remember him. There was no way you’d recognize him. Still, he could do nothing but stare, admiring the way your face finally moved with so much emotion and feeling. He was glad to have you here with him.
“I know it’s difficult to move.” He finally said, ignoring your unspoken questions. “Don’t fret. Your body just needs some time to warm up, my dear.”
You didn’t receive any chills from his over-familiar nicknames, but it didn’t stop the slight irritation from making itself known on your face. He only chuckled and stood from his place beside you. “I’ll be back soon.” He said before placing his hand over your eyes. “For now, take a short nap… Try not to sleep too deeply.” He muttered his last phrase with a sort of half-hidden guilt before your eyes closed by themself.
Exhaustion washed over you in a flood, and taking a deep breath you fell back into an empty dream.
. . .
“Moonlight...”
“... Mare?”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“... I’m sorry.”
“Why? What happened?”
“... I’m so sorry.”
“What for? Did you do something? I-I don’t understand.”
…
“Mare? Wait - where are you?”
…
“Mare!”
…
“Wait! Don’t - don’t leave me here!”
…
“Not again! Please! I’m sorry!”
. . .
“ ‘m sorry.” You opened your eyes again, fading tears pricking the corners of your eyes as they fluttered open to see the world in the usual shade of monochrome the room you stayed in provided.
“Don’t apologize.” You blinked a few more times, clearing your head as you looked up at the tar covered stranger hoving over you again. “Don’t ever apologize.”
His stiff fingers brushed against your cheek again in a gentleness you assumed he was foreign with, but you could only stare at him. You didn’t flinch away, but wasn’t sure as to why you didn’t either. “Who are you?” You finally voiced. Your body felt lighter, your lips no longer stuck together, nor your voice as gravely. Now the question was: why?
He chuckled, his grin turning mischievous as the ends sharpened slightly. “Take a guess, my dear moonlight.”
Your eyebrows knit together again at the use of the nickname. “Mare?” You questioned, unsure if anyone else would ever use the endearing name.
“Yes, moonlight?” He replied, watching you with clouded eye lights.
Shock rippled through your mind as you scrambled to get your body upright. Your muscles spazzed from movement to movement, shuffling the blankets and sheets and pillows as you tried to figure out your bodily functions again. He watched you, frozen as you fumbled in a mess of bedding.
“NIGHTMARE!” You finally gave up trying to seem put together and launched yourself in his direction. Your arms were bent in a slightly awkward angle as you leaned into him, but desperation greatly outweighed embarrassment. “Nightmare...” Your voice was almost a whimper as you held back tears. Why did it feel as if you hadn’t seen your friend in years? Had you not seen him before your fall out only weeks ago?
“I missed you too, moonlight.” You couldn’t hold onto him properly, but he made up for whatever you couldn’t do. Pulling you into an embrace, he let out a shaky breath of relief. “Welcome home.”