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Jealousy? Brian thought it's not suitable for him, he's insecure... or maybe he is indeed jealous? He didn't even know anymore.
Having an actor as a boyfriend means to let them act romantically with their on-screen partner. Even though its just 'acting' but Brian sometimes gets so annoyed.
Even more annoyed when his actor boyfriend – Jae is known to be single by the public and fans couldn't be helped from shipping him with his on-screen partners. Brian know this is so childish but he can't help it.
"I already miss Jae and Felicia T.T #Jaelicia"
"I really hope Jae and Felicia have a project together in the near future! #Jaelicia"
"Time of Youth is ending but I can't move on from the sweetest side couple #Jaelicia"
Brian logged out from his Twitter account made for stalking Jae's fanbases. He didn't even know why he made it at the first place, it just irritates him more, right?
Sometimes or maybe not sometimes, he wants to force Jae to marry him as soon as possible.
But another reality hits him, even when they're married Jae will continue his acting career and would still kiss his on-screen partners, watched by viewers across the globe. The only thing that would change is Jae's status in the public eye.
"Can you just take roles with no love interest?" He asked one day.
"I'll never get to be the main cast then." Jae said with a smile, he knows his lover is annoyed by the fact he always, always starred in romantic-comedy genre projects. Not that he asks for it, he also auditioned for thriller, horror, crime and other genres project but maybe those was not yet destined for him.
Brian sigh. He just have to suck it all up till the day Jae retires then. He don't want Jae to give up on his uphill career just for him, that's the last thing he want. He's not an egoist, and never would be one.
The last drama Jae was in ; Time of Youth was a big hit and Jae's enjoying the spotlight given by it now — getting advertisement offers, magazine pictorials, guesting variety shows and radios to MC offers.
“Jae Park reportedly casted as the main lead in the upcoming rom-com drama 'Sweet Chaos', filming starts this February.
The drama marks the rising star's first ever main lead role.”
Brian smiled reading the news header, 'main lead'. Finally.
"My main lead actor, I miss you." Jae smiles upon hearing his words.
"I miss you so much too, my lover."
"If you miss me that much then you have to open your door."
"Huh?"
"I'm at the front. Can you please open the door?"
"OH?! WAIT A MINUTE" Jae rushed to his front door.
Brian is there, holding a wrapped box and a plastic with Jae's favourite pizza logo.
"Baby... What a surprise~" Jae welcomed him with a wide smile. He took the stuffs from Brian and waited by the door while he take off his shoes.
"I didn't clean the house, by the way. You didn't tell me you gonna come."
"If I tell you then it's not a surprise." Brian said as he walks in.
"What's in the box by the way?" Jae asks after putting the pizza on the table, scanning the box.
"Later! Let's eat first? I'm hungry."
"Sure." Jae replied before stealing a peck from Brian's lips. "I love you."
Brian slightly smile and shooked his head, moved to wash his hands followed by Jae who frowned at a sudden change in Brian's reaction. He didn't even say 'I love you' back.
"What you were doing when I call just now?" Brian asks as he open the pizza box.
"Reading the script, we gonna have another script reading session the day after tomorrow."
"Sweet chaos?" Jae nods.
"I'm sorry for disturbing you then."
"No baby, not at all. Instead you're blessing me with your presence." He denies as he take a seat beside Brian.
"How about my baby, what did you do before you came here?" He pats Brian's head who's busy eating.
"Back from the office, I go to the gift shop then went to get the pizza." He eventually tell about annoying things at work and his left hand moving while he talks. Jae noticed crumbs and sauce on the hand and quietly grabs a tissue, wiping it clean before holding the tiny hand in his.
"Baby... I'm eating right now." Brian complaints with a full mouth.
"I know." Jae chuckles.
"Why don't you eat?"
"Because you didn't feed me?"
Brian glared, but feed him eventually after looking at Jae's tired face.
"Why you didn't take a break after Time of Youth?" Brian ask, clearly worried.
"I'm going to, at first. I wanna take a break for 2 or 3 months and go for a trip to Okinawa with you. But the offers suddenly rushed in and I don't wanna waste the opportunities. Especially Sweet Chaos. We pray for years for it." The corners of his lips lifted, a sweetest and bright smile adorn his sculptured face.
"Don't worry, love. I'm a bit tired but I'm happy. Very happy." He assures Brian. "and I hope you're always happy too." He kiss the back of Brian's hand.
Brian smiled, feeding him again.
"Thank you for being happy. I'm always happy, as long as you love me."
"Sounds like song lyric." Jae teased.
"So what, I mean it."
"Then you have to be the happiest soul for the longest time, because I love you for a millions lifetimes."
Brian sighs, staring at their intertwined hands.
"If only we could be like this in public." He muttered softly, but loud enough for Jae to heard it.
"Baby–"
"Would it be too much if I ask you to marry me?" He stares deep into Jae's eyes. Hoping for an answer.
"No, baby. Not at all. Why?"
"Marry me then."
"Right now?"
Brian sighs, putting his half eaten piece of pizza back to the box. His appetite is long gone.
"Okay, let's wash your hand first and talk about it." Jae said, letting go of his hand and start cleaning the table.
After cleaning, Jae sits at the edge of his bed, and Brian followed him in silence.
"So... tell me. What's on your mind?" Jae asked softly as he took Brian's both hand in his. His gaze is unreadable.
"I ... I don't know, Jae."
"I've seen this expression before. Be honest Brian, is it my fans again?"
Brian shooked his head, even though it's one of the reasons.
"If not, then I suppose you want me to officially tell we're dating, right?"
Brian looked up, and answers with his sparkly eyes.
"Yes. I want people to stop shipping you with your partners." He said then. "I know I'm so childish. I'm sorry."
Jae land a kiss on his temple. He knew something was wrong with Brian these days, he's afraid and anxious of Brian who could give up on him whenever he wants. In fact, although with different reasons, they're both anxious.
"I apologize, for my ambition and career selection brought you only discomfort for these years. And I know you're bored of hearing things like 'my heart is only yours'. But I'm serious with that words and you know I can't even lie. Especially to you." He took Brian hand to his chest. Brian could feel his heart beating fast.
"I might have dozens of on-screen partners through my whole career, but only you could make me like this. It would beat faster when I see you smile, when you laugh, when you call my name, when you said you love me, when you kiss me. It's all you. Only you."
"I won't ask for much, I just need your trust. Trust in me and my feelings. Please." He hold Brian's hand tighter, hoping for a response.
"I always trust you, Jae. I really do."
Jae nods, whispering a relief "Thank you."
"Regarding your request, I apologize I couldn't fulfill it right away. But baby, if you could wait after Sweet Chaos press conference, I would be so grateful."
"What would you do after the press conference?"
"Tell them I have a fiancé, of course." Brian smiles at that.
"But for now, I'm gonna upload this photo on Instagram story, as a spoiler." He took a picture of their intertwined hands and post it.
"Are you okay with that, love?" Brian nods. He had last this far, waiting for a few more months is fine.
"Is there other things concerning you?"
"No... Nothing."
"Thank you, for understanding and not giving up on us. I really appreciate all the things you did and get through for this relationship to work out. I love you so much." Hopefully, Brian feels his sincerity.
"I love you more." There, he said it back and Jae couldn't hold back from kissing him.
They didn't meet for weeks due to their schedule. Brian's busy at work and Jae's busy at filming set. They truly misses each other and Jae didn't want his lover to feel restless any longer. His posted Instagram story are to make Brian felt a bit secure and also a light spoiler to his fans that maybe a dating announcement would be released soon.
Jae pushed Brian to lie down while their lips interlock. Brian move his hand from Jae's nape to his chest, feeling his pounding heart again. It feels so ecstatic ; Jae's scent, kisses, touches and his thumping heart.
As if kissing his lips are not enough, Jae moves to his jaws then his neck.
"Jae...Baby... wait.."
"Why, baby?" He whispers.
"Your gift."
Jae laughs and kissed Brian's nose tip before getting up.
"Why are you getting me gift, by the way?" He sits on the chair with the yellow box on his lap.
"A gift for the 'main lead' actor. Congratulations, Jae."
"Thank you." Jae smiles widened, ripping off the wrapping from the box.
A white stuffed cat, which kind of looks like an actual cat. Jae's eyes sparkled. Oh, he remembered him whining at Brian on how much he wanted a pet cat.
"Because of your allergies, I just can get you the fake one." Brian said, coming closer to him.
"Baby.... it's so cuteee." Jae reach his hand and pulls him to sit on his lap, "thank you so much."
"I also get you one more cat."
"Where?"
Brian take another pack out from the box which Jae didn't notice because too focused on the stuffed toy.
He took out the cat ears, and wear it on his head.
"This cat." Brian points at himself, a fox-eyed cat with black furry ears.
Jae pulls him right away, passionately kissing his lovely cat. His heart can't take it, he's just too adorable.
"Umh, wait... Wait."
"What again, baby?" Jae sighs.
"This..." Brian took out the cat tail plug, "help me put this on."
"Ah babyy, stop doing this to meee. Stop being so cute." Jae whines as he hugs Brian who's laughing sweetly to his ears.
Brian didn't know that asking someone to plug your hole is considered cute before. He don't have the time to think more about it as Jae lay him down to the bed, again.
"Why are you so impatient?" Brian teased.
Jae linked both of their hands together and stares deeply into his eyes, "You. Because it's you."
Jae didn't stop staring as Brian's cheeks and ears are slowly flushed. His hands in his warms up too.
He kissed his forehead, nose and lips before whispering, "I love you, Brian. You're the only one I love. Only you."
Brian gets teary, he couldn't even reply a word. Jae keeps saying it's only him, like chanting a spell. If anyone could see his heart right now, it blooms honey-coated red roses. What a beautiful feeling, with a beautiful soul.
"So no need to worry, love. I'm only yours."
Tonight, he reminds Brian how he was still and always be his. Only his.