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It is a peaceful midnight in Seoul and everyone is asleep. The noise of cars and transportations are minimized to the point that everyone will enjoy the silence in this urban area. It calms the soul of everyone who wanted to stay up all night just to chill and rest.
Seungcheol is found doing such thing in the rooftop of their dormitory. He doesn’t know what is up to him, but he finds this routine as helpful to his mind who has been thinking so much. For the group he’s leading, the projects, their fans, and much more. Everything feels like it is hard to handle but he manages it all. And being in this simple kind of rest is what he longs for, and brings joy to his life.
He remains being in awe of the view in his sight where all he can see is beautiful lights from the urban where someone joins him. “Bothered?”
Seungcheol shifts his head to that person who just talked. Seungcheol smiles and shakes his head as a sign of not agreeing to what the person has said, who is now sitting beside his position.
It is Jeonghan. One of his members in the group, who has an angelic beautiful face that turns on everyone.
And Seungcheol can’t deny the fact that he is one of those people. I mean, who wouldn’t be? He knows the latter for years. He knows how kind and pure Jeonghan is even though he’s mischievous for some times.
The more he gets to know who is Jeonghan, the more he adores him so much.
When they are in their training days, Seungcheol was fond seeing Jeonghan as his co-trainee in the company they were in. He felt like he wanted to befriend him because he wanted to have a good camaraderie to the people around him that he thought will be his co-workers in the near future. It was not hard for him to become close with Jeonghan because the latter was also finding for someone he could talk to. Aside from the both of them, all of them who were training at the same time had this unbreakable bond that helped them grow into the area they were in. Up until they debuted and was formed into a group where they are.
What makes Jeonghan seems special is that he is the one who helps Seungcheol in the verge of the storms where the group were facing in. Whenever weariness of leading the group attacks him, Jeonghan is there, assuring that he can do and face it. And that whatever means the group will face, he is strong enough to face it. That Jeonghan will help him through it, and the members as well.
Aside from this, he saw how Jeonghan takes good care of the members. And it was evident to his eyes to see the beauty of Jeonghan’s attitude with the people around him.
Seungcheol never thought of seeing the latter deeper than a usual best friend that he thinks. He never saw it coming that he will catch feelings for Jeonghan. But he doesn’t regret of having this feeling towards him.
And he never thought of saying his feeling towards the latter. He thinks being in love with Yoon Jeonghan from a far is enough.
Jeonghan stands and leans forward to the rails of the rooftop to see the view of the city.
“I never thought you stay here.” the latter speaks.
“Whenever I want to breathe some air after doing some project of ours, I go up here. Just chilling, you know.”
Jeonghan nods to what he heard.
“I never come to appreciate the urban again, not until this moment.” Jeonghan says.
Seungcheol asks. “Do you like it?”
Jeonghan spins slowly to observe the view of the night and looks up in the sky. After it, he answers. “Yes. It’s beautiful.”
Seungcheol agrees to the latter. All of a sudden, he looks to Jeonghan who is still in awe of how gorgeous the urban lights in midnight. He smiles to see the latter’s eyes being amazed, as well as the gorgeous face of it. He blatantly says “It’s beautiful, like you.”
Jeonghan looks to the man who is staring to him, but he doesn’t find it awkward at all. Instead, he smiled. To him.
Seungcheol suddenly realizes what he had said to Jeonghan. He breaks his stares to the latter and looks around to somehow avoid the gaze of Jeonghan’s sight. After he said those words, and saw the smile of the latter, there is a silence between the two of them, that they all can hear are the minimized sounds of the cars that are travelling in the middle of the night.
And for Seungcheol, he doesn’t know how to recognize this kind of silence, whether if it’s a deafening or a comforting one. This is getting into his nerves.
Jeonghan goes back to his sitting position beside Seungcheol. He quietly sits back, and observes the silence between the two of them. Lately, he breaks it.
“You know what, Cheol, it’s good to have this kind of moment.”
“This midnight chilling?”
“Somehow. Midnight chilling. With the two of us.” Jeonghan replies that makes Seungcheol shock in his place. He doesn’t know what to say at all. He’s out of his words.
Jeonghan starts the conversation. “I just want you to know that I am waiting for this time, where I want to talk to you.”
Seungcheol remains silent and lets Jeonghan talk all the things he wanted to say, thinking that maybe the latter is just having his rant about his frustrations towards their job.
But it’s not.
“I’m kinda bit shy and awkward after this talk but I just want to blast it out because Cheol, I think I can’t contain anything anymore.” Jeonghan pauses. “Remember that moment where we are just watching some videos of senior groups’ music in the training and you and Woozi is writing something? Maybe some songs? Then you suddenly grabbed my face and bumped your head with mine like you are going to kiss me?”
Seungcheol tries to remember that moment and he is, he nods to the latter while his cheeks are heating up. “Yeah. I do remember.”
Jeonghan breathes before returning to speak. “It’s just … I felt something different with that moment. At first, I couldn’t describe it. Until the moment where I was down, and you told me that you would not let me fail that time and smiled for me. There, I realized that I feel something towards you. I don’t know the words that fits with it. Crush? Infatuation? Love? I don’t know. I know that it’s something deeper than a friend.”
While talking, Jeonghan is already putting unto his mind on what can be the things that will changed after this small talk with Seungcheol. Either good or bad. He hopes that nothing would change the link between the two of them. But also, he wishes for something more.
“Then I said to myself that I wanted to be with you even in just small acts. Through encouraging you, and helping you in leading the kids, haha.” Jeonghan simply smiles. “I am contented with just that, Cheol. I am happy to see you happy. I’m sad to see you sad. I don’t want to put my hopes high after this. I just hope that the link between us will remain as is.”
After Jeonghan talked, the silence embraces them again. The thought of Jeonghan feels the same is somehow overwhelming with him, but it doesn’t matter. Seungcheol’s heart is now pounding because of what he heard from the latter. But it’s not because of nervousness, but it is for happiness. Seungcheol can’t keep himself but to smile widely.
He holds Jeonghan’s face first for the latter to face him and slides down to the latter’s hand to hold it. “I never thought that I would hear this thing from you.”
“Why?” Jeonghan confusedly asks.
“Because I thought I will be the one who will do it at first.” Seungcheol looks up to the sky before starting to convey the words he wants to say. “I want you to know Jeonghan that I also wish for something like this to happen.”
He looks to the face of the latter and continues to talk. “But I was afraid that maybe you will keep a distance to me. So, admiring you secretly is okay and enough for me. Then, this day happen. You never know how my heart is pounding for happiness, Jeonghan.”
Jeonghan shifts his gaze to the eyes of Seungcheol who is still looking at the sky and admires the beauty of it. “H-how? Why me?”
“I don’t know how to answer it, but the moment I started laying my eyes on you, I can’t help myself but to continuously admire your existence.”
A sudden silence has embraced them again then Seungcheol asks out of nowhere. “How about you, why me?”
“It’s because you’re Choi Seungcheol.”
The elder looks at Jeonghan’s position who does not break his stares towards him. “Your strength, passion, and personality are the things that has pulled me to admire your existence.”
Both of them smile on their faces, and even though they have conveyed the words towards on what they feel for each other, they still can’t fathom the overwhelmed hearts of this night to both of them. But they are assured that the feeling is good.
Seungcheol breaks the moment all of a sudden, and holds the face of Jeonghan like it is a fragile glass. He goes closely into it and kisses the forehead of the latter. After it, he embraces him with a hug. Hug of warmth, hug of love.
As for Jeonghan, he feels nothing but safe within the elder’s arms. He can feel how the warmth and love radiate towards his entire existence right now. He wants Seungcheol to feel his happiness and joy through this embrace.
They never thought this moment will come. That they will be able to say the things they wanted to say to each other.
And now that this moment happens, everything from their perspective will change.
As of now, knowing that what they have mutual feelings for each other is more than enough, as they clearly step out on their comfort zone. They don’t want to take a hurry with what they have right now so they take it slow but gentle. Little by little, they will get through to what they think the both of them deserve for.
They remain into their position, until they decided to go back to their rooms and sleep. Knowing that both of them will wake up in the morning with joy after what has happened.
Starting from that point, the way Jeonghan and Seungcheol look for city lights in the middle of the night is what they are looking for because it’s now more beautiful to think of, now that they have someone who can enjoy this moment of sitting, relaxing, talking, and having someone beside them. And it’s the both of them having each other in their lives.