Work Text:
Alina was sitting at the small study of the bed-chamber when he appeared.
She was working late, again. A bunch of papers and files lay scattered all over the wooden desk, barely making space for the white plate containing her dinner. The untouched food had long gone cold.
She looked thinner, worn out, and dark shades had emerged from under her eyes. She looked tired.
She was tired. After her fall out with Mal the other day, Alina busied herself with work. She spent her days with the other Grisha, training and preparing themselves for the upcoming threat, and her nights buried in unnecessary paperwork. She barely ate anything and never allowed herself to sleep.
She knew a moment of quiet would bring about the ocean of emotions she was desperately trying to keep at bay. She also knew that she could not afford to be drowning in the sorrow she felt after Mal left that night, not now, not when the Darkling and his shadow army were getting close by each passing day.
The Darkling’s sudden appearance in front of her desk did not startle Alina. She was getting used to his frequent ‘visits’ - in the war room during meetings, in the bed-chamber by the window, in the library - staring at her, never speaking. Sometimes Alina would close her eyes and sigh; when she opened her eyes again, he would be gone. Alina had stopped theorizing about these visions and simply accepted that she was having hallucinations. However, sometimes his grey eyes felt too real to be just an illusion.
This time too, she closed her eyes and felt her head throbbing with pain - evidently because of the lack of food in her stomach - and sighed. But when she opened them, the Darkling was sitting in the chair right across from her.
With a pang of shame, Alina realised that a part of her was relieved to see the Darkling still there.
He was looking at her intently, taking her all in. He was as handsome as ever. His presence radiated his power and his strength. Illusion or not, his piercing quartz grey eyes caused heat to rise in Alina’s face. She looked down and stared vacantly at the open document on the desk.
“Are you going to ignore your dinner just as you are ignoring me? “
His smooth voice tugged something inside Alina’s heart, but she chose not to respond.
No further words came from his mouth, but Alina could feel his gaze on her. After a few silent moments, she couldn’t help but peek a glance at him.
There was no sign of amusement on his face. As Alina looked up, he raised an eyebrow at her - he was waiting for an answer.
“I have work to do,” Alina mumbled and looked down once again.
“It’s quite late. Have your dinner, Alina.”
It was spoken gently enough, but Alina knew it was a command. She was starting to believe that her subconscious was conjuring up this vision to get her to stop the torture she was doing to her body. For a moment, she considered obliging and have dinner. But then again, her mind had conjured the image of the Darkling; and she was not going to give in to his wishes - definitely not when he was a mere illusion.
“I said I’m busy,” she said not lifting her eyes from the papers- her voice laced with false irritation.
“Alina,” he urged, “look at me.”
She reluctantly met his eyes.
“You cannot keep hurting yourself like this. You have responsibilities now Alina. You need to take care of your health to get the strength you need... to face whatever is coming your way.”
Alina almost snorted at the last part. But his expression made her stop midway. His face was laced with - concern? There was a hint of sadness as well. Alina could almost give in. Almost.
“It’s not your damn business.” Yes, he had no business reprimanding her like a child, she thought.
“Food. Now.”
His voice was stern now. Alina felt her determination vanish altogether. His tone left no place for defiance. It demanded compliance - from her. Now she truly felt like a child. But then why. at the same time, did she feel butterflies in her stomach?
Alina was still dwelling on her feelings as she picked up the plate and started eating. All the while the Darkling kept his eyes on her, watching her eat, silently. This made Alina utterly uncomfortable.
Halfway through the food, she tried to excuse herself by mumbling a faint “I’m done”.
“No, you’re not. Finish. All of it.”
And Alina felt she had no choice but to comply.
Alina took forever to finish her dinner. Meanwhile, the Darkling patiently sat in his chair. She looked up at him and saw a small smile playing on his lips. He was pleased with himself.
When she again tried to start with the paperwork, his icy fingers grabbed her hand.
“Uh uh uh. You need to rest now. Come.”
Before Alina could protest, she was yanked out of her chair. The movement caught her by surprise, and she almost lost her balance. But the Darkling’s firm hands steadied her. He then guided her to the king-sized bed - his arm snaked around her waist.
The closeness of their bodies caused Alina’s heart to pound in its cage. Although his arms were physically cold, Alina could sense the heat radiating off his body. Or was it the heat rising in her body because of his touch? Alina wasn’t sure.
Alina didn’t protest when he gently placed her on the bed and asked her to lie down. The Darkling stood by the bed and looked at her. His expression was soft - almost loving. He touched her face gently, then bent down to place a kiss on her forehead. The kiss was soft, like a feather. Alina closed her eyes and took a deep breath. He looked at her again; this time his face was so close that Alina could feel his cold breath. His intense eyes were searching for something in hers. Alina held her breath as anticipation filled the inside of her chest.
Then he pulled away and Alina knew he was ready to leave. Something tugged at her heart at that. The feeling of loneliness and longing inside her was overwhelming. She wanted his presence. She longed to be near him - if not forever, at least in this moment. So as he turned to leave, she couldn’t help but say, “stay”.
He looked back at her. She could see that he was amused.
“Please. Stay,” Alina said once again. “I don’t want to be alone… tonight.”
Her voice was barely a whisper, however, the Darkling didn’t need to be asked twice. He took off his kefta and placed it neatly on the bedside table. The black silk shirt he was wearing clung to his lean muscular body like a second skin. In the dark moonlight of the bedroom, he looked more majestic than ever.
Alina blushed at his handsomeness. Then she scooted over to give him space to lie down.
The Darkling never took his eyes off Alina as he climbed onto the bed and placed himself in a half-lying position beside her. He helped Alina move so that her head was now resting on his stomach. His one hand slid up and down her arm while his other hand gently caressed her hair.
He smelled like winter - cold and ancient. Alina breathed in his scent and it comforted her. They stayed like that for what felt like hours to Alina. But in reality, only a few minutes had passed.
A single tear escaped Alina’s eyes. All the emotions that she was keeping locked inside came rushing forward. The hurt she felt when Mal left her; the anger, the sadness, the fear of abandonment which had coursed through her body all at the same time; the relief she felt in the Darkling’s arms and the guilt for feeling as such - everything was too much for her to bear. The more she thought about it, the more it hurt. She couldn’t stop the tears from coming.
The Darkling lifted Alina’s head and turned her to face him. He took a long look at her tear-soaked face. Alina could get lost in those deep grey eyes. Slowly, he placed her head on his shoulder.
“Cry, little Alina,” he murmured in her ear. “Cry as much as you want.”
Alina buried her face in the crook of his neck as she sobbed. He caressed her hair soothingly as she cried. He held her tight and she clung to him.
“That’s right, Alina,” he crooned. “Let it all out.”
And she did. The pain, the guilt, the pressure - she cried it all out. Her insides felt less heavy.
As the sobs dried down, Alina became aware of the feeling of bare skin beneath her face. The Darkling’s skin was smooth - as if frozen in time. From her position, she tried to memorize every bit of it - his scent, the perfectness of his skin, the shape of his jawline, the veins that popped out on his neck, the firm muscles of his shoulder, the short dark hair that fell behind his ears… everything.
Alina nibbed at the soft flesh on his neck. She wanted to know the feeling of his skin under her lips.
The Darkling froze at the sudden touch. He pulled away from her. Alina looked at him with eyes full of need. She wanted him. Even if it was not real, even if it was just a mere illusion, she wanted him. She wanted to be held by those strong arms. She wanted to feel his smooth skin under her lips and wanted his soft lips on hers. She wanted to stay basked in his power and his scent - if not forever, then at least for the night. She wanted it all.
The Darkling’s eyes were however full of conflict, though she could see the hunger underneath. So Alina moved her face closer and pressed her lips on his.
He was still for a moment. Then he kissed her back. His kiss was not soft like Alina’s. It was full of urgency - deep and rough. His lips were hungry - hungry for her - Alina could feel that. His skilled tongue was demanding as he savoured every inch inside her mouth. Alina was happy to give in. She embedded every moment of this kiss in her memory. She gripped at his hair with force- pulling him closer. She let out a whimper when his teeth pulled at her lower lip in response. The pain enhanced her pleasure even more. She was losing herself in him. And she didn’t want to stop.
But eventually, the Darkling pulled away from her, again. Alina’s mind was numb from the kiss. She needed more.
She reached for him again. But this time he held her firmly in her place.
The Darkling shook his head. “You’re tired. You need to rest.”
Alina was ready to argue - to plead even - but he gave her no time. He swiftly moved her body so that her head was now resting on his chest. His arms wrapped around her body and he pulled her closer. He buried his face in her hair - inhaling and placing kisses. At the same time, his fingers caressed a soft spot on her neck.
This continued for a while. His movements were so tender that her eyelids started to become heavy.
“Sleep,” his soft voice ordered.
Alina’s body automatically started to respond to his command. His heartbeat was steady. Alina’s mind concentrated on it as if it was a lullaby. The closeness of his body gave her the solace she’d never found. She felt safe in his warmth. In the arms of her enemy, she found her home.
“My Alina.”
It was the last thing she heard before she fell into a deep sound sleep.
~The End~