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You’re sitting and cuddling with Dream on the couch after a long day of streaming and work. You start thinking about how lucky you are to even be in the position of cuddling with him and start crying into his chest.
“Hey, hey, it’s alright. Why are you crying?” He asks, concern dancing in his eyes.
“I’m crying because I realised just how lucky I am to be here with you and I’m so grateful to have you.”
“What do you mean, ‘just how lucky you are to have me’? Of course you have me and I have you.” He questions and states at the same time.
“I know I have you and you have me. But do you realise how many people out there would give anything and everything to be with you? Do you realise how lucky I am to have you? You don’t even know how many scenarios I have thought of and written in the past that have you and me in them.”
“Well, I-” He starts but you carry on talking and cut him off.
“I was just a teenager, 14 at the time, when I started writing about you. I know what it feels like to want something but knowing you won’t ever get it. At least in the way you want it. And now that I do have it, it doesn’t seem real.”
“It is real though.” He cuts you off. You ignore what he says and carry on.
“It feels like this is a dream and any moment I could wake up and find that none of this ever happened, that it was all just in my imagination. I’m so grateful for this and I’m scared this is just a dream and that I’ll just wake up, find myself back on the other side of the north Atlantic with nothing but your voice, your laugh and my stories to keep me company at night. I used to be one of those people who would do anything to be with you. And now that I’m here, I’d still give anything to wake up every morning, wrapped in your arms with you beside me.”
You start tearing up again and hide into his chest, crying into his shirt. You start talking again, your voice breaking this time.
“And I- I'm scared you'll find someone better than me, someone prettier than me, skinnier than me and that they’ll be the one to wake up by your side every morning and not me.”
He lifts your head up by your chin, cups your face with both of his hands and wipes away at the never ending waterfall of tears that is streaming down your face with his thumbs.
“The amount of people out there that are 10 times prettier than me, 10 times funnier than me or even 10 times smarter than me is so big. It scares me. You’re bound to find someone better than me at some point but before that happens I want to spend every second I can with you.”
“That’s not-” He starts but you carry on anyway.
“I want to remember in as much detail as humanly possible, these moments I have with you, and then when it does happen, I want to have all those memories locked away, only for me to see. When it does happen, as much as it will hurt, I just want you to be happy.”
He wraps his arms around you tightly and hugs you as you keep talking.
“Always remember that. I want you to be happy.”
“I want you to be happy, and I don’t care how much it will hurt me. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. Even if it breaks me inside." You muffle the last few sentences into his shirt as you try to hide your face and stop your tears from falling.
“Okay,” He starts in a quiet voice.
“I’m going to stop you right there before you can carry on talking about yourself in such a way and before you break my heart because you don’t see what I see.”
He carries on in the same quiet but soothing voice.
“Yes, I do realise that there are a lot of people out there that would do anything to be with me but I don’t want to be with anyone else but you. I also know what it feels like to want something but knowing you’ll never get it in the way you want it. You wanted to be with me, and didn’t think it was possible yet look at us now. I felt the same way about you. You were an amazing girl that worked at a coffee shop and I doubted that I’d get a chance with you. Yes, it may seem unreal at times but I can wholeheartedly assure you that this is real and that we are together and that nothing will get in the way of that.”
“But-” Dream cuts you off.
“Shh, it’s my turn to talk.” He soothes you.
“I can also tell you that I would too, do anything to wake up by your side. I wouldn’t change what we have now for anything in the world.”
“And before you cut me off again, I can promise you that you are the funniest, smartest, prettiest and most beautiful girl I have ever known. And trust me, I mean it.”
“That also means that there won't be anyone that's 10 times better than you at anything, alright?”
You nod slightly, your eyes still puffy and red from crying.
“I don't know what makes you think that I'd ever find someone as amazing as you, because I can tell you that's not true. Sure, there might be people out there that are better than you at some things but I know for a fact that none of them could ever even do as much as compare themselves to you. Okay? I know it may seem otherwise at times but then I'll be here to remind you that it's not.”
“I,” You start, your voice still raspy from the amount of crying you did. “I don't even know what to say. Every single person I've ever been with, sooner or later found someone better than me and just left me behind. It has happened every single time. I don't think you'd leave me behind but I can't get rid of that nagging feeling that it might happen.”
“Well,” Dream starts. “In that case, I'll make sure it won't happen and that's a promise, okay? I promise that I won't ever leave you behind.”
“You promise?” You ask quietly as if not quite believing it.
“I promise.” He answers, and it sounds honest.
“Also,” He looks at you with a small smile. “You mentioned something about writing stories about me?”
“Oh no, I'm never going to hear the end of this, am I?” You ask with a laugh.
“Nope, you're not.” He replies with a smug smile on his face. “Now then, show me! I wanna see how you thought I was going to be.” He says, hope in his eyes.
“Okay, okay fine! Warning: they are either cringe or scarily accurate. That's like the only two categories you can put them into.” You warn, a smile evident in your voice.
“That's fine, just show me already.” Dream complained as you got off the couch to grab your laptop.
“I am! Just give me a moment to actually get what I need to show you!” You exclaim, giggling at your boyfriend's impatience.
“Okay, okay fine.” He grumbles with a smile, clearly impatient and way too excited.