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When Sam got home, Bucky was nowhere in sight.
As he set his bag down, worry settled over his features. Normally, his boyfriend greeted him the second he opened the door. He always managed to get to their tiny living room right before Sam returned, even when he wasn’t given a time.
His first thought was that Bucky wasn’t home. When they first moved in together, he rarely left their apartment without Sam. Bucky didn’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, but most of the time, the only person uncomfortable was him. It took Bucky a few months of therapy to figure it out.
As soon as the realization hit, he began going out on his own. All the time. It started off as a form of exposure therapy, but Bucky slowly began enjoying his solo trips.
It was a huge step for him. One that Sam was immensely proud of.
He peeked at their shoe rack. His black sneakers were still on the highest rung, which meant Bucky had to be home.
Sam’s second thought was that he was asleep, but it was the middle of the afternoon. Bucky wasn’t the type of person who took naps. He was working on improving his schedule, but it was still a mess. He could barely sleep when he was supposed to, let alone during the day.
His third thought – which was easily the most concerning – was that something was wrong.
“Buck?” he called out, walking further into their apartment. When he didn’t get a response, Sam began checking rooms. Their bathroom, their bedroom, their miniature sunroom that Bucky adored— All empty. The only place left was their kitchen.
As soon as he walked in, Sam froze.
The kitchen was in complete disarray. Flour and chocolate chips littered the floor, and a mix of ingredients were scattered across the table and counter. After inspecting all the damage from afar, he realized he wasn’t the only one staring at it.
Bucky was sitting in the corner of the room, his knees pressed against his chest.
Sam let out a breath of relief. He wasn’t sure if Bucky was okay or not, but at least he wasn’t missing.
“There you are,” he announced, his tone quiet. “Thought I was going to have to start a search party.”
Bucky didn’t acknowledge him until Sam kneeled in front of him.
“Hey,” he grumbled. He didn’t offer up any answers.
Sam glanced around the room again. Bucky had clearly been trying to make some kind of dessert. At some point, something must’ve gone wrong.
“What happened?” Sam wanted to reach out and touch him, but he knew better. Until he knew what was going on, he wasn’t going to invade his space.
Bucky cleared his throat. “I was trying to make you a cake.” His eyes shined with annoyance as he looked down, focusing in on his black socks. “I forgot to buy eggs.”
As Sam replayed his reply over and over in his head, he stared at Bucky, finding himself completely dumbfounded. He wasn’t expecting baking to be the reason for his boyfriend’s distress. When he first laid his eyes on him, Sam figured it was another one of his flashbacks.
Then again, now that Sam thought about it, Bucky hadn’t had one in weeks.
The Winter Soldier was currently on the floor, upset over eggs. It was such a beautifully normal and human reaction. Despite Buck’s pained look of defeat, Sam beamed at him.
Bucky’s response was immediate. “Why are you smiling at me?” he complained, reaching his foot out to lightly kick Sam’s leg. “You’re dating an idiot.”
Sam moved closer, pressing his hand against one of Bucky’s cheeks and his lips to the other. “An idiot that I love.”
Bucky offered a dramatic groan, but his mouth was curved into a smile when Sam sat back. “Yeah, yeah. I love you too.”
Those three simple words made Sam’s heart shine. He would never get tired of hearing them.
“How about we go get those eggs?” Sam hummed. “So we can make your cake.”
“Your cake,” Bucky swiftly corrected. “You just got home. Aren’t you tired?”
Bucky’s eyes bounced around the room. Behind his anger, Sam could see his disappointment. He didn’t want either feeling sticking around. If he could alleviate some of his boyfriend’s pain by simply going to the store, then he’d go to the damn store.
Sam waved him off. “Nah. Come on— We can walk.”
After he got to his feet, Sam held his hand out. Bucky took it.
When they got outside, their fingers were still intertwined.
The short trip to and from the grocery store became the highlight of Sam’s week. Maybe even his month.
They usually kept a little distance between them in public, but they comfortably held hands the entire time. Bucky even swung them back and forth.
It surprised Sam, but Bucky was the one who carried their conversation. He wasn’t quiet for a second, talking about every little subject that came to mind.
Sam watched him like he hung the stars.
Tracking down a carton of eggs shouldn’t have taken long, but they were out for over an hour. Every time one of them saw a weird or ridiculous item, they stopped to point it out. Their obnoxious laughter caught the attention of several strangers, but they didn’t acknowledge anyone’s existence but their own.
On the way home, Bucky bought him flowers. They were gorgeous, but the way Buck smiled at him… That was the thing that made Sam tear up.
Bucky threw out the batter he made during his first attempt, so they started from scratch.
They took turns dropping the ingredients into the bowl. When they got to the final item – two eggs – they each cracked one open.
When it came time to mix everything, Sam held out the spoon. “You wanna do the honors?”
Bucky moved to take it, but he stopped right before his hand could reach the handle. “No. You do it.”
Sam squinted, pretending to be irritated. “Really?”
Bucky just smiled.
After rolling his eyes, Sam began to carefully stir the ingredients together. While he focused on the batter, two strong arms wrapped around his torso. He paused just as Bucky rested his head against Sam’s back.
He couldn’t help but wonder if Bucky realized how much progress he’d made. Sam definitely did. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever been so proud of someone.
“You know how much I love you, right?” Sam murmured.
A few months ago, the question would’ve made Bucky tense up. He wouldn’t have believed Sam loved him at all.
When Sam used the L word for the first time, Bucky begged Sam not to lie to his face. No amount of convincing that night changed his mind.
He didn’t want Bucky to be uncomfortable, so he showed his love in other ways. When he saw something that reminded him of his boyfriend, Sam bought it for him. When they sat down for a movie night, he let Bucky pick what they watched. When they were in different states or countries, he always called him to say goodnight.
Eventually, the word slipped from Bucky’s lips. Sam remembered that moment so vividly.
They were walking in Central Park, pointing to clouds and debating which type each one was. When they came across a cumulus, Sam messed with him. He insisted it was a cirrocumulus, even though the cloud above them looked nothing like one. They argued for a solid five minutes before Sam burst into laughter and admitted he was fooling around.
Bucky clearly meant to say I hate you, but what came out was I love you.
He remembered how uncertain Bucky looked when he realized what he said. Before he could apologize, Sam rested his hands on his cheeks.
When Sam softly and confidently said it back, Bucky’s distress turned into relief. He didn’t say anything, but Sam knew Bucky finally believed him. It meant everything.
His boyfriend’s voice pulled him back into the present. “I’m not sure. Maybe you should remind me.”
With an over-the-top sigh, Sam turned in his arms. He cupped Bucky’s cheeks, just like he had that day at Central Park. Bucky tried to contain his smile, but his eyes gave his happiness away.
Before Sam even got the chance, Bucky kissed him. His lips were warm and familiar and perfect, and Sam couldn’t help but grin.
Throughout his entire life, he’d never loved someone the way he loved Bucky.
When they broke apart, Sam pecked the side of his mouth. “I’m helping you make my cake, aren’t I?”
While the cake cooled, Bucky insisted they separate the vanilla frosting into three different bowls. He might’ve forgotten eggs, but he remembered to buy food coloring. After setting the first bowl aside, Bucky put a few dots of red in the second, and a couple dots of blue in the third.
Red, white, and blue.
“Oh, so you’re stealing my brand.” Sam smirked at him, moving to dip his finger into the bowl of white frosting.
As soon as Bucky noticed what Sam was doing, he gently smacked his hand away. “Get away from my frosting, Wilson.”
With a look of innocence across his features, San held his hands up in surrender.
Bucky took out a spoon, dipped it in the blue frosting, then held it out. “You don’t know what I’m doing. I could be designing the French flag, the Union Jack…”
“The Union—” Right. They all used the same color scheme. Sam laughed and shook his head, whipping the spoon out of his hand. “Okay, yeah. I’d like to see you draw all those lines.”
Bucky spun his entire body, feigning annoyance as he stared. Sam just grinned and ate the frosting Bucky gifted him.
When the spoon clattered against the sink, Bucky huffed. “We’re celebrating you. Not Great Britain.”
After putting away some of the ingredients they used, Sam jumped up and sat on the counter. “Me? What did I do?” He’d taken the title of Captain America a while ago. As far as he knew, there wasn’t anything new to celebrate.
Abandoning his American/French/British-themed frosting, Bucky moved to stand between Sam’s legs. When Sam beamed at him, Bucky leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “Well, you…”
He leaned back, clearly looking for the right words. Sometimes, Bucky had a difficult time finding them.
Sam didn’t mind. He always knew what Bucky meant.
Before irritation could take over, Sam whispered “Don’t worry, baby. I know. Thank you.”
They couldn’t stop giggling and a quarter of the frosting ended up on their faces, but the cake still looked great by the time they finished it. Sam made sure to snap a bunch of pictures, including one with both of them grinning ear-to-ear.
It would definitely end up in one of their photo frames.
By the time the cake was sampled and put away, the sun was setting. The sky still had a little light left, but Bucky convinced Sam to lay down anyway.
The moment his back hit the mattress, he knew he wouldn’t be getting up again until morning. He’d been a little tired when he got home, but the egg run and baking took the energy he had left.
Bucky wasn’t ready to join him, but Sam was okay with that. Their sleeping patterns rarely matched up. As long as they both ended up getting some decent rest, he’d consider the night well-spent.
Around two in the morning, a small thud woke him up. Sam blinked his eyes open, then squinted as he looked towards the direction of the noise.
Bucky was slowly standing up from the floor. When his wide gaze caught Sam’s, his lips fell into a frown. “Sorry. I tripped.” He looked too guilty for such a small inconvenience.
“Don’t apologize. You good?” As he yawned, he shifted the blankets and opened his arms.
Yes, his boyfriend was a super soldier. And yes, Sam was still going to make sure he didn’t somehow stub a toe or something. He had to be sure.
“Yeah. Just surprised me,” he whispered. After walking to the open side of the bed, Bucky climbed in, shifting around until he was resting against Sam’s side.
Not so long ago, Bucky wouldn’t have been that honest. It was a small statement, but he wasn’t holding things back anymore. It was another thing that reminded Sam of all the progress he’d made.
Sam fixed the blankets and wrapped his arms around him, sighing peacefully before shutting his eyes. Bucky was shaking a little, but he would’ve said something if it was something.
Still, he moved one of his hands and rubbed Bucky’s back. “What should we do tomorrow?” He hoped the tiny distraction would wave away whatever anxiety he was feeling.
Bucky huffed, but he still offered a quiet response. “Eat popcorn and finish That ‘70s Show. Now go back to sleep.”
After rolling his eyes for the tenth time that day, Sam leaned down and kissed the top of his head. “Fine. Whatever you say, princess.”
“Don’t call me that,” Bucky mumbled, burying his face into Sam’s chest as he relaxed. “Goodnight.”
With a small smile on his face, Sam shut his eyes. “Goodnight. I love you.”
“Love you.” It was barely audible, but Sam heard it, and that was enough. This was enough.