Work Text:
Adam paced outside the hospital room. He was nervous, and he knew it showed. It had been a week since Kim had been taken. Since everything went down. Just a week, but it felt like half a lifetime. So much had changed.
Adam had no idea how he and Kevin were going to recover from their blowout. If they ever would. God, he hoped so; he missed his friend, his brother. But he also knew that he couldn't just walk back the things he said. Kevin had put in for a new partner, but whether or not that would happen was up in the air; they were down too many people.
Kim had been surprisingly alright after her ordeal. Physically at least. A concussion, some broken ribs, a dislocated wrist and a couple of cuts. She was only at the hospital today to get the stitches taken out of her head. She'd be on desk duty for a few weeks until she was given the all-clear medically and mentally. Adam knew she'd been having nightmares. It was tandem screams some nights between her and Makayla, and he ran every which way from where he was camped out on Kim's couch, racing to comfort whichever of his girls needed him.
Then there was Hailey; maybe they should pop in on her while they were here; Kim would love that. She made a point to come in and visit the blonde every day. Hailey was still in the hospital, would be for another week, with two surgeries down and one to go to repair the damage that Walton did. She was pissed at him, and he didn't blame her. Hailey hadn't even wanted to be there in the first place, not like she had been, but Adam had forced her hand. He had rushed in before they got the all-clear, leaving her no choice but to follow, to have his back, and make sure he didn't get himself killed, or worse, cross a line that he could never come back from. But when Jay's voice came over the line in that warehouse that he and Kevin had found Kim, Adam took off. He had to see her. But in doing so, he left Hailey alone, and Walton had gotten the drop on her. They fought, and the man tossed her down some stairs where Hailey had gotten impaled on some rebar. It went in just above her hip. She would eventually be okay, but Hailey would need a lot of physical therapy before she could even think about getting back out into the field again.
And Voight, just the thought of him made Adam want to throw up. Their Sergeant, the tough as nails, old school Chicago cop, was gone. He'd leapt at Walton, trying to stop the man from detonating the explosives he had in the warehouse. Trying to give his team time to clear the building, but he got caught up in the blast. He'd sacrificed himself for his team. Not a surprising move, not in the least, but the outcome that was a different story entirely. The funeral was tomorrow, and Adam wasn't sure how they were all going to make it through.
The Unit was in tatters; they were all on temporary leave. Who knew what they'd be coming back to. A new sergeant? That wouldn't work. They were a well-oiled machine, throwing a new cog into that would only jam things up. Or maybe it wouldn't. Kim and Hailey were down for the count. Kevin wanted nothing to do with him. And Jay, well, he was civil, could put it aside and do his job, but they wouldn't be getting beers together anytime soon. God, things were so messed up.
"Hey," Kim's voice pulled Adam out of this thoughts, and he whipped around to see her standing in the doorway of the exam room, tugging on her coat. "I just want to pop in on Hailey, but then we're good to go and get Makayla."
"Sure," Adam nodded. "Sounds good. I'm thinking maybe Portillo's for dinner."
Kim chuckled. "We really got to cut back on all this take out."
"Soon," Adam promised. He had been practising a few simple recipes, but this was damn sure not the time for him to be testing them out on actual living people.
Adam stayed out in the hall again while the two women visited. Hailey had greeted Kim with a bright smile, happy to see that the dark stitches that had marred the brunette's pale skin were gone, that the bruises were fading. But when she caught sight of Adam, her smile fell. He could see the battle in her eyes. She was angry with him, but she also understood. Hailey knew better than most what was going through his mind in those long hours. His need to see Kim at that moment, she didn't fault him for that, but he still shouldn't have left her alone like that.
The visit was a quick one; it only lasted ten minutes. A doctor had walked into the room, and Kim came out not long after. "They're taking her for another scan," she informed him as they headed down the hall, finally making their way out of the hospital. "She's been trying to convince them to let her out tomorrow, so she can come to the funeral, but they aren't budging."
"I mean, that's their job right," Adam asked, holding the door open. "They're just looking out for her, don't want her to do any more damage."
"I know," Kim sighed. "But she's struggling. You know Hailey, she doesn't sit well. Especially not at a time like this. She wants to be there. For us. For Voight. We all need each other tomorrow."
Adam nodded. He wished Hailey was able to come, even if she wouldn't say a word to him. Even if he wouldn't feel the familiar warmth of her comfort. The same comfort she had offered while Kim was missing. The others needed it, even if he was left out in the cold.
They got to his car, and Adam opened the door for her again. He gave her a hand as she heaved herself up into the Jeep. "So, Makayla, then food, but I'm thinking maybe The Purple Pig instead. Jay brought in some of their Ravioletto for Hailey yesterday, and my mouth has been watering ever since. What do you think?"
"Actually," Adam said. "We need to talk first."
The tension spiked so thick that you would have needed a chain saw to cut it. Finally, after a minute, Kim broke the silence and cleared her throat. "What's up?"
"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately," he took a breath. "I always thought that I made things pretty clear. How I feel about you. What I want. The future I see."
"Adam," Kim started, but he held up his hand, halting her.
"But I'm going to make it clearer," he swallowed. "Kim, I want you. I want us. I want to hold you in my arms at night. To comfort you when your nightmares start, not after they're already over. I want us, together, to do the same for Makayla. I want her to know that I am there for her, that we are there for her, no matter what. I want to go on family picnics and make new traditions. I want to freeze my butt off in the stands of a skating rink while we watch her learn how to do a triple axel. I want to come into the bullpen every day and bore the others with her sports stats or report card comments. I want them to roll their eyes as we put up another drawing she's made. I want to be the dad, the husband that mine never was."
"Look, I'll admit it, when we first got together, I was a tool," Adam shrugged, finally turning to look at her. "I was young and stupid and stupidly in love. And maybe I still am some of those things. But I also like to think I've grown."
"You have," Kim nodded. "We both have."
"And I hope that I've grown into the kind of guy you want to be with, the kind of guy who deserves to be with you," he shrugged. "Because believe me, Kim, that's the guy I want to be. When I rolled up and saw your vest, the blood. I can't even—"
Adam took a sharp breath; he couldn't say it. Kim's hand came down and wrapped tight around his own. Adam squeezed her fingers. "I'm not saying that I move in," he continued. "Or that we jump into this again and try to be this perfect little family right from the jump. We can take it slow. As slow as you want. As slow as is best for Makayla. But I am asking, Kim, can we try again?"