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“Come on. No one’s gonna notice if we swipe some of Brucie’s good stuff from the cabinet,” Jason was trying to prod you into going along with his plan.
You rolled your eyes. “See, now, that’s how you end up on Alfred’s naughty list and don’t get any presents this year.”
“Oh is that right?” he laughed. “I love Alfie, but how would he even know? We won’t drink the whole bottle, just a little to help deal with Bruce and Dickhead.”
While you could see the appeal–you didn’t want to be here, celebrating Christmas with the entire Bat family, any more than your boyfriend did–but you absolutely would not be crossing Alfred. “Then why do we even need to sneak at all?” you countered. “We can just ask, and he’ll probably say yes. Not like Bruce’s ever gonna drink it. He’s too much of a stiff.”
“But that takes all of the fun out of it,” he whined.
“Jason Peter Todd, are you just wanting to steal liquor from your beloved grandfather just because you’re bored?”
“No,” he denied instantly. “I’m wanting to steal liquor from my beloved grandfather just because I’m Crime Alley street rat that’s trapped in the bigass mansion with a bunch of guys in stupid costumes that somehow have something stuck up their asses but viciously deny being into pegging!”
You raised an eyebrow.
“… And I’m bored.”
Again you found yourself rolling your eyes. “Come on, big guy,” you said, grabbing his hand. “Let’s go ask Alfred if we can break into the good booze and get drunk on the balcony.”
“Goodie two-shoes,” Jason grumbled.
“You’ll thank me when you still have presents to open tomorrow.”