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Oikawa fits on Suga's couch like a cat in a box. That is to say, he doesn't. He flows over the edges, his feet over the arm and his head only propped up by virtue of a pillow at the other end. And when Umeko lies on top of him - fist curled under her chin because her dad won't let her tuck her thumb into her mouth, and pressed firm against his side - they make a definite statement about the size of Suga's furniture.
"I have a bed, if you want to sleep somewhere you don't dwarf."
"We don't want to sleep. Do we, Umeko?"
Umeko shakes her head in the way that shows her dad passed down his stubborn streak to her.
"Right because three o'clock naptime is something you're too old for," Suga says with a smile.
"Absolutely!" Oikawa says and Umeko echoes him, albeit quieter.
Umeko doesn't trust Suga - not quite yet. She's subdued around him in a way she isn't with Oikawa. And it drives Suga to distraction. She's lovely. Her smile lights up the room, her manners do her credit and she enjoys every new thing. But Suga can't make her shine like she should. It irks him.
"Suga-chan thinks too much, doesn't he?" Before he does anything so courteous as let Suga or Umeko reply, he continues. "I think he should read us a bedtime story."
No getting out of this. "For your nap that you're too old to take?"
Umeko's brow furrows as she opens her mouth. "We don't have to nap after."
"You heard the little lady! Story time," Oikawa says and moves Umeko's hands to make her clap.
Like he could say no to that.
"Fine, fine. What story would you like?" Suga asks.
He meant to ask Umeko, but Oikawa answers when she stays quiet. "One of yours, of course. We don't recycle stories in this family."
Of course.
Looking at Umeko's brown eyes, he can't say no to this either. Oikawa's parents might be terrible people, but he would have done well in politics like they wanted him to do.
Suga settles on the floor, facing Oikawa and Umeko, because he hovered and looked down at them enough for one day. Oikawa strokes Umeko's hair as they both wait for him to come up with a story. He could have warned Suga he'd be tasked with this.
He doesn't know any stories. But Umeko's looks eager with her eyes wide and a tiny smile.
"It might not be any good," Suga points out.
"Nonsense, it's your story and we'll like it." Oikawa grins like this is the best thing to happen to him all week and Umeko smiles wider, too. She looks so much like her dad.
At least he has their confidence. Suga sighs and begins his story.
"Once upon a time-"
Umeko shakes her head and Oikawa tuts. "Only bad stories start with that," she says.
What has Oikawa taught her?
Instead of arguing that plenty of good stories start with once upon a time, Suga tries again. "The kingdom of Karasuno-" Oikawa snorts - amused rather than derisive so Suga continues, "-was once a weak place, where only those who couldn't live elsewhere resided. With a few exceptions.
"Despite being weak, they were often at war with their neighbouring kingdoms. And, being weak, they lost." He's not at all convinced this story will work as a fairy tale but Oikawa's grin hasn't faded and Umeko continues watching him. "This continued for generations and the kingdom faced struggle after struggle but they clung to the hope that one day they would topple their enemies and manage to live in peace.
"One day, it seemed that time had come: a prince from a neighbouring land known to be a grand general retreated there having been exiled from his own home." Oikawa snorts and Umeko shushes him. "Great though this general was, an even greater general lived in the next kingdom over, the kingdom of Aobajohsai - sometimes called Seijoh."
"Oh, and what was the name of this great general?" Oikawa smiles like he's ready to eat shit.
"He doesn't have one," Suga replies with an equally pleasant smile. "This is a fairy tale, we're just going to call him the grand king." Oikawa's smile shrinks and he huffs. "Now, the prince and the grand king met many times before. They were once both in line for the same kingdom. However, things changed, their paths diverged and they only meet again years later, when their kingdoms clashed once more. The prince put up a valiant effort but the grand king knew all his tricks and, before long, his command is replaced by Karasuno's previous commander."
"Does this guy get a name?"
"No."
"Suga said he doesn't need a name, daddy."
Oikawa opens his mouth to argue his point but Suga continues before he can, this story is dull enough as it is. "The grand king fell in love." Umeko's eyes go wide as saucers and Oikawa's hand tenses where it rests on her back. Suga plunges on. "He had thought he wasn't cut out for such things, toying with people in his own kingdom and stringing along whoever looked his way but Karasuno's commander changed that. His pl- strategies and adjustments were all by the book and a little boring but he holds his own against Seijoh with them by helping his army reach their full potential - a skill the grand king was also renowned for. They finished their battle- Karasuno losing by a slim margin - and the kingdoms settled into a truce once more to regroup and lick their wounds.
"But the grand king was restless, as people are when they find love, and being from another kingdom, even getting close to Karasuno's commander proved impossible. So the grand king hatched a plan."
This time, it's Oikawa's eyes that go wide. He knows where Suga is headed with this. "Kou-chan, do you really think-"
Umeko hushes him with a loud shhh.
"The grand king sent presents to the commander. First small, a pressed flower, some food, including his favourite milk bread, a speciality of Seijoh. The grand king didn't know, but those always arrived mouldy." Oikawa twitches and Suga grins. Oikawa hadn't known, even though it was the middle of summer and anyone could have guessed that leaving moist bread on his porch wasn't going to end well.
"And then bigger things. A copy of his favourite book, with comments in the margins, a ring-" Umeko's eyes stretch wide enough to take up her entire face. "Not that kind of ring, the grand king isn't used to being in love, remember?" Oikawa huffs and smooths down Umeko's hair. "Now all the presents, as well as the ones I didn't mention, came with a letter, but no name or address. And never having spoken to the grand king before, the commander never thought the grand king might be the one to have taken such a liking to him.
"With each letter, and each gift, the commander fell for him as well. The grand king, as well as being an amazing tactician, was funny and witty in a particular way that made the commander laugh even though no one understood the jokes when he repeated them.
"And then the final gift came - a horse." A scooter. "A beautiful strawberry mare." It was pink, and Suga might have thought Oikawa was taking the piss if he hadn't bought him a scooter. "Perfect temperament even though she had previous owners." By that point Suga had worked out Oikawa's sense of humour and giving him an expensive gift that didn't work was well within that possibility. But he hadn't, the scooter was worn but lasted Suga years more. "And tucked under the saddle was the longest of any of the letters."
Umeko, at least, seems pleased with the story, she's got a hand wound tight in Oikawa's t-shirt and waits patiently for Suga to continue.
"This letter said lots of things, some of them the same as in the other letters but it was different. Because everything in it was either about the commander and why he likes him, or the grand king himself. The other letters talked about hunting, the weather, trying to navigate life and responsibility but this one was only about them.
"And at the end, it was signed, and stamped, so the commander could have no doubt that the letter was from the grand king and that the grand kind was who he had fallen in love with."
Oikawa pipes up. "But they were enemies and couldn't be together and both died in a battle like never seen before." He smiles but it's not a pleased one.
"That's not how it goes!" Umeko tells him.
"No, it isn't," Suga says with a warning look at Oikawa, who rolls his eyes and starts stroking Umeko's hair.
"Now the horse knew the way back to the grand king - it was once his horse." And Suga knew the spots where Oikawa liked to spend time. Like Iwaizumi's house. "So late at night, when the rest of his kingdom slept, the commander slipped out on his new horse and travelled the long distance into the enemy territory.
"The terrain was rough and lovely though the horse was, the commander wasn't used to it so just before he arrived at the window, the horse reared and the commander fell off." Suga had misjudged the last turn to Iwaizumi's house and hit a streetlamp. At night. When it made a lot of noise. "But the sound of his horse was familiar to the grand king and he raced down - he didn't believe that the commander could really have come all this way because of his letter."
Oikawa's face grows steadily redder but his hand on Umeko's hair remains constant. Umeko herself has her mouth parted like she's too engrossed to keep it closed.
"In his haste, the grand king forgot that he hurt himself training and in the last stretch to reach the commander, his knee gives way, starting their first kiss with no warning."
No part of Oikawa is its usual colour, red covers every part of his face. Umeko, at least is bright eyed and happy.
"And then they lived happily ever after?" Umeko asks.
Suga shoots Oikawa a look, but he's not looking at him. So happily ever after is fine but once upon a time isn't. He'll never understand Oikawas completely.
"They did. The Kingdoms matured and merged after some initial troubles and they got to be together for a long time. And it all started with that one kiss."
Umeko claps in a small round of applause. Oikawa gives two reluctant claps. "What do you think, Umeko, can he tell us a story again?"
She nods, and presses closer to Oikawa, shy of Suga once again.
They tuck Umeko in for the nap that she really does need and Oikawa pulls suga by the wrist into the next room where he wraps his arms around him.
Suga sighs, "You know I wouldn't tell her the next part without checking." Oikawa doesn't reply, not unusual when he's too out of sorts to pretend to be cheerful. "I can one day, if you think it would be easier."
"She cares about love too much. She calls Iwa-chan 'mom'."
He gives him a squeeze. "That's not a bad thing."