Chapter Text
Shen Wei had tucked himself into the furthest corner of the quiet floor of the library, but he was still finding it difficult to remain focused on his homework. The morning had been filled with stimuli, and he was still on edge even here in this peaceful atmosphere. The smallest sounds made him want to crawl into a tiny space and stop perceiving anything. He turned a page in his textbook and tried to ignore the rustling papers coming from the next cubicle over. When he had first come to Haixing after emerging from the ground four years ago, he had not been expecting how loud everything would be. He liked some new things about Haixing–the nice way printed type looked in books was an improvement–but in general he was overwhelmed by technology and cars and the way everything was louder and faster and busier than the Haixing of ten thousand years ago.
The laptop sitting at the very edge of the table dinged, and Shen Wei scowled at it. His face softened when he realized that his roommate had sent him an email. He and Cheng Xinyan had met in a lab class on his first day of his grad school program. Xinyan was in the medical school, but there were a few overlapping labs between the bioengineering program and the medical programs. They had been assigned to be lab partners, and their friendship had grown over the years. Xinyan was the rare person who didn’t mind that Shen Wei was completely incompetent with all technology, and they were both the kind of people who enjoyed sitting and reading through dense scientific papers together. The email informed him that she was going to the grocery store and asked if he needed anything. Shen Wei considered, then messaged her back with a request for more tea. He shut the computer and dove back into reading. It took him half a page to be distracted again. Someone was humming . Shen Wei looked up from his book to deal with this latest distraction and froze.
The perpetrator of the humming was standing by the closest bookshelf to Shen Wei. Their weight was on one leg and the other was bouncing with no concern for the rhythm of the song they were humming. They appeared to be reading the spines of the mystery novels. Their jeans were ripped in a way that was clearly unintentional–Shen Wei was fairly certain that fashionable jeans didn’t have holes right under the butt–and they were wearing a jean jacket with fraying seams and what looked like paint stains. Their hair was shorter, and they were skinnier, but Shen Wei would know that back anywhere. He had stopped breathing, as if breathing would make this moment fall apart. He had spent all his free time over the past four years searching for the man right in front of him. Had he really just had to wait this whole time?
Kunlun–who else would it be?–turned with a book in his hands, and their eyes met. Shen Wei must have looked like he had seen a ghost–hadn’t he?–because the man in front of him smiled slightly in the gently teasing way he had. He was younger than he had been when Shen Wei had last seen him. His beard was less of a beard and more untrimmed stubble creeping across his jaw, and his hair was short and fell in thick bangs down to just above his eyes. There were dark circles under his eyes where they hadn’t been when Shen Wei had last seen him ten thousand years ago, but his smile was the same. Shen Wei’s heartbeat was filling his ears. What did he say? What did he do?
He was so busy taking in all of Kunlun that he almost didn’t notice the other man speaking to him. He shook his head and realized that Kunlun had asked him if he was okay.
“I...I’m...I am fine, thank you,” Shen Wei sputtered, blushing. “You...I...you look like someone.” It was a lame excuse for how openly he had been staring, but he was certain that telling a man that he was going to get thrown into a wormhole and go ten thousand years into the past was the wrong response. You look like yourself. The last time I saw you was ten thousand years ago but you were at least five years older then.
“No one’s ever told me I look like anyone,” Kunlun commented, grinning. Shen Wei smiled back at him. “I hope that’s a compliment.”
“Yes. Yes, it is.” Shen Wei fidgeted with the corner of his textbook. “Are you a student here?”
“Nope,” Kunlun said. “I come to the library every so often to hang out. Today I decided to actually check out a book.” He flashed the novel in his hands, which Shen Wei didn’t recognize. “I’m guessing you’re a student.” He nodded at Shen Wei’s spread of papers and notebooks. “What do you study?”
“Bioengineering. I’m a graduate student.”
“Bioengineering!” Kunlun raised his eyebrows and smiled in an expression that Shen Wei recognized. It was the same one he had always used when Shen Wei revealed a new ability or said anything vaguely interesting. “I took biology in high school and I forgot everything I learned. I’m impressed.” Shen Wei smiled. “Well, I’ll leave you to your work. First…” Kunlun pulled a pen out of one of his jacket pockets, tugged Shen Wei’s notebook towards him, and scribbled something. He grinned and winked. “Enjoy your bioengineering.” He walked away into the stacks, and Shen Wei watched him leave. The moment Kunlun disappeared out of sight, Shen Wei dropped his gaze down to the notebook. In messy handwriting was written a phone number and the words, Hope I see you next time . Kunlun had drawn a winky face next to the line of characters. Shen Wei ran his thumb over the writing. He had imagined many times over the past four years what finding Kunlun again would be like, and none of his fantasies had been quite like this. He wasn’t even sure he knew what Kunlun’s real name was.
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“Shen Wei?”
“Yes?”
“...you know I’m not actually General Kunlun, right?”
Shen Wei traced his fingers over the leather belt across his chest and considered the night sky above him. “Yes,” he said carefully. When he turned his head to look over at Kunlun, the grass tickled his nose and almost made him sneeze. The other man was watching him with an expression that could only be described as sad.
“What gave it away?” he asked, switching to a smile. “Am I not heroic and handsome enough to be the great Kunlun?”
“You don’t act like a general,” Shen Wei said. “And I have not heard of General Kunlun using a…” He couldn’t remember what Kunlun called his weapon. Was it a gun?
“What does a general act like?” Kunlun asked teasingly. Shen Wei shrugged, and Kunlun rolled onto his side so that he could look at Shen Wei more easily. “Does a general make less stupid jokes?”
“I like your jokes.” Kunlun snorted, and Shen Wei rolled over to face him. “It’s true!”
" Shen Wei, Shen Wei, I know you’re lying to me. My jokes are hated by everyone except for me.” Shen Wei considered protesting, but accepted that Kunlun would not stop insisting that he was lying.
“If you aren’t General Kunlun, why are you pretending to be him?” he asked, turning the subject back around. Kunlun sighed.
“The original Kunlun was killed, and Fu You and Ma Gui wanted me to take his place,” Kunlun said. “To help the resistance, I guess. I don’t really know what I’m doing to help.”
“You saved my life.”
“That is important.”
“I am sure you will do more things to help us,” Shen Wei said seriously. “Fu You and Ma Gui would not have asked you to take General Kunlun’s place if they did not believe in your abilities.”
Kunlun smiled. “Thanks, Xiao Wei.” He rolled back over and tucked one of his hands behind his head. “It is nice to be able to see the stars. Where I’m from, you can’t see them so clearly.” Shen Wei wondered, not for the first time, where Kunlun came from. He did not return to his previous position, but stayed on his side watching Kunlun. It was as good a view as the stars.
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Zhao Yunlan marched into the apartment and announced, loudly, “Li Yan, I’ve seen the light, and it has round little glasses and studies bioengineering at Dragon City University!”
“Yunlan, why are you such a bi stereotype?” Li Yan asked without looking up from her computer. Yunlan took his jacket off and hung it up on the hooks that stood next to the door. Most of the clothes that hung there belonged to Li Yan; she could actually afford to own more than two jackets. He toed his boots off, threw them into the pile of shoes that lurked underneath the jacket, and went to flop down on the couch. Li Yan pulled her feet away from him and tucked them into a crossed-legged position.
“This time I think the connection is real,” he said.
“You say that every time.” Yunlan moved to swat her in the ankle, and Li Yan kicked him back. The problem with being friends with someone for as long as he and Li Yan had was that she had caught on to all of his bullshit already.
“Well, this time I think I’m right. I only talked to him for a little bit, but he’s definitely different from all the other people I’ve pursued.”
“Is he actually queer?”
“Shut the fuck up, Li Yan! I’ve had a crush on at least three queer dudes.”
“When?” Yunlan swiped at her again, and she moved out of the way. “You might actually have luck with him, since he’s a bioengineering kid. I don’t know that many, but all of the ones I know are gay.” Li Yan shrugged. “You never know.”
“I have hope,” Yunlan declared. “I don’t think a straight guy would wear glasses like that.” Li Yan raised an eyebrow at him and typed something into her computer. “What are you working on?”
“A lesson plan. Zheng wants me to teach the freshman lecture next week so he doesn’t have to come in to work, I guess.” Li Yan worked as a teacher’s assistant to her old advisor. It meant she didn’t have to pay tuition, but it also meant she had to do things that weren’t technically in her job description whenever Professor Zheng didn’t want to do them.
“What kind of lesson?”
“Don’t you have things to do?”
“Bothering you is the most important thing I do every day,” Yunlan said.
“Ha” Li Yan typed something else, then said, “It’s talking about portrayals of queer relationships in ancient mythology.”
“Of course he asked you to teach that class.”
“It is my entire research focus. Now, I actually need to do work. Go clean the balcony or something.” Li Yan nudged Yunlan with her toes, and he groaned dramatically and flopped off of the couch. The balcony did need organizing, so he slouched through the sliding door and began putting the army of potted plants into a better arrangement.
As he moved pots around, he reflected on the brief encounter with the bioengineering guy in the library. Despite Li Yan’s teasing, Yunlan was not generally the kind of person to aggressively court strangers. He had surprised himself more than anything else when he had decided to give the man his phone number. There had been something different about him. Yunlan couldn’t place it exactly, but when he had had that brief conversation with him, he had felt something . Maybe he was just lonely. Li Yan was one of his best friends, and he still saw Da Qing at least once a week, but they were the only people he had seen regularly since he had dropped out of school two years previously. All that aside, something about the bioengineering guy had felt right. He was cute. Maybe that was it.
The plants finally reached an arrangement that satisfied Yunlan, and he walked to the rail of the balcony and lit a cigarette. He considered the city in front of him. It was unlikely that the bioengineering man would call him. People he gave his number to rarely did. Anyways, he didn’t even know the guy’s name. Yunlan was frustrated with himself for forgetting to ask. With his luck, the man probably didn’t even have a phone. It was possible, though, that he would call. There had been something there, hadn’t there? That wasn’t just Yunlan imagining things. He remembered the expression the man had had when he had first turned around to see him. The poor guy had looked like he had seen a ghost. Shit, did Yunlan look like someone who the man had lost? Would he be breaking some confusing boundary if he pursued this? It was out of his hands now, anyways. He tapped the ash from his cigarette down into the alley and sighed. Why was romance so complicated?
When he came back inside, Li Yan had put her laptop aside and was banging around in the kitchen. Yunlan, who was categorically banned from the kitchen while Li Yan was cooking, flopped down onto the couch.
“What are you doing tomorrow night?” Li Yan asked, opening a cabinet with more noise than should reasonably come out of a small door.
“Depends on why you’re asking,” Yunlan said. “If this is another one of those lectures you love to drag me to…”
“It’s a party,” Li Yan said. “Cheng Xinyan invited me. You remember her.” Yunlan had a vague recollection of Cheng Xinyan being one of the other TAs at DCU.
“Will it be good?” he asked.
“I have no idea. It’s something to do. And maybe your bioengineer will be there. Xinyan hangs out with bioengineering people sometimes.”
“I doubt it.” Yunlan’s bioengineer didn’t seem like the kind of person who would go to a party, especially the type Li Yan’s friends liked to hold. “What’s on the menu?”
“Instant ramen!” Li Yan said cheerfully, tossing two packets of noodles into a pot. “With added vegetables that I got from the food pantry, so it’s slightly healthier.”
“Delicious.” Yunlan settled back onto the couch, then had a thought. “Will there be free food at the party?”
“Probably. It’s a party.”
“Good. I’ll go.”
“Just for the food?”
“Well, duh. I’m not twenty-two and unemployed for nothing, Li Yan.” Li Yan snorted and returned to her ramen. Yunlan draped his arm across the couch and stared up at the ceiling. Getting out of the house would be nice. Li Yan’s friends did usually have good alcohol at their parties, so it would be worth it even if his bioengineer weren’t there. Which he wouldn’t be. Yunlan had never been lucky once in his life.
------
Shen Wei took a sip of water and stared out at the dark yard in front of him. He was alone. The other partygoers had not deemed it necessary to leave the flashing lights and pounding dance music of the interior. Xinyan had convinced him to come with her. She had insisted that he would have fun, and so far that promise was not holding up. Shen Wei had not been good at parties ten thousand years ago–there was no reason that would change now. He couldn’t even appreciate the alcohol, which seemed to still be the primary reason for parties. He had tried, once, back in his first year in Haixing, and had passed out after his first cup of what Xinyan referred to as “tub juice”. He did not want to repeat that experience.
The door opened behind him, and with it came a short blast of loud music and shouting. Shen Wei thought he heard the sound of glass breaking. The person who had walked outside clicked a lighter, and the acrid scent of a cigarette burning drifted down to Shen Wei’s perch at the bottom of the steps. He sighed and stood to find somewhere he could actually be alone.
“Hey, hold on.” The smell of the cigarette diminished significantly, and Shen Wei paused. He knew that voice. He turned around to see Kunlun, of all people, walking across the porch towards him. “You’re the guy I talked to in the library yesterday. The bioengineer major. Li Yan was right for once.”
“Yes,” Shen Wei said, blinking up at him. He didn’t know what Kunlun was doing here, but he welcomed the surprising coincidence.
Kunlun came down the steps. “I didn’t think you were the kind of person to come to a party like this. Well, I guess you aren’t, if you’re sitting out here. Do you know someone here?”
“My friend Xinyan took me with her,” Shen Wei said. “She wants me to get out more and meet new people, so she brings me to parties.”
“You’re kidding.” Kunlun laughed. “My roommate, Li Yan, she was invited by Xinyan, too. That’s wild.” He laughed again. Shen Wei thought he remembered someone named Li Yan having dinner at his and Xinyan’s apartment once. Was she the one who studied ancient literature, or was she the friend who was in neuroscience? “Do you mind if I sit?” He must have put the cigarette out. Kunlun always had been good at picking up when Shen Wei was uncomfortable. Shen Wei nodded and went to join him on the steps. It was nothing like how they had used to be, but it still felt so familiar. “I realized yesterday that I never asked you what your name is,” Kunlun said, looking at him. He smiled, and Shen Wei returned the smile.
“Shen Wei,” he said, sounding out each word with the same care Kunlun had, ten thousand years ago.
“Shen Wei,” Kunlun repeated, copying his tone. Shen Wei watched him with bated breath, but all Kunlun said was, “Good name! I’m Zhao Yunlan.” He offered his hand, and Shen Wei took it. He was so enraptured by Yunlan’s smile that he forgot to let go until the other man tugged gently on their entwined hands.
“Oh! I’m sorry.” Shen Wei dropped his hand and tucked it back into his lap.
Yunlan grinned, his eyes twinkling. “Nothing to be sorry for.” He leaned back against the stairs and kicked his legs out in front of him. “So, Shen Wei, what do you like to do, other than bioengineering?” It was a hard question. Shen Wei didn’t do much other than bioengineering and his duties for Dixing.
“I like to read,” he said, truthfully. “I...practice martial arts.”
“Martial arts, you say,” Yunlan said, looking up at him with a mischievous grin. “So, you could probably beat my ass in a fight.” Shen Wei nodded, and Yunlan’s grin grew wider. “Impressive.”
“My parents had me learn when I was young,” Shen Wei said. It was a partial truth; his mother had begun to teach him and his brother before she had died.
“So did mine, but I wasn’t a very attentive student. I was the kid who would rather run around screaming than actually listen to the instructor. My father hated that.” Yunlan laughed a hollow laugh. “I picked up some things, though. I can throw a decent punch, and that’s good enough for me.” Shen Wei smiled and drank the last of his water. “How do you know Xinyan?” Yunlan asked. “She’s studying….neuroscience, isn’t she?”
“Yes,” Shen Wei said. “We were in a lab class together our first year of graduate school, and we have been friends ever since. How do you know Xinyan?”
“Through my roommate,” Yunlan said. “Li Yan’s another of the TAs at the university, and I guess TAs spend a lot of time together. I think they just all stand around in the copy room chatting or something. We usually go to these parties together ‘cause I have a better alcohol tolerance than Li Yan. And anyways, I need things to do that aren’t sitting on the couch or spending time with my childhood...babysitter.” He made an expression that Shen Wei recognized as his lying expression, for when he had just said something particularly ridiculous and untrue. Shen Wei wondered who his childhood “babysitter” was. “I’m surprised I haven’t seen you at one of these before, if you and Xinyan are friends.”
“I don’t like parties,” Shen Wei said simply. “Sometimes, she manages to convince me to come with her, but most of the time I stay at home and read.”
“Too many people?”
“And it’s too loud.”
“Yeah, I get that,” Yunlan said. “I have to take breaks or I lose my mind. That’s why I came out here. And I was needing a cigarette, but mostly I needed a break.” Shen Wei didn’t remember Kunlun smoking when they had met. He wondered when Yunlan would quit, then shook that away. Thinking too much about how they were going to reach the point where Yunlan would get pulled into a wormhole hurt his head.
“What do you do for fun?” he asked, echoing Yunlan’s earlier question.
“Not much,” Yunlan said, wiggling one of his feet back and forth. Shen Wei might have been imagining it, but he was certain that the boots Yunlan was wearing were the same ones he had worn ten thousand years ago. How long did boots last? “I like going hiking. My childhood friend and I go almost every weekend. I...used to do random electronics building projects when I was a kid, but I haven’t done that in a long time. I don’t really do anything.” He shrugged. “Hunt for jobs, I guess? But that’s not really fun, and I’m taking a break from that. I got tired of getting turned away because I dropped out of college.” He laughed a short bark of a laugh.
“Do you go to the mountains to hike?” Shen Wei asked.
“Sometimes,” Yunlan said. “If we feel like driving, we’ll go up the highway to the nature reserve. It’s gorgeous out there. Have you ever been?”
“I don’t go out of the city much,” Shen Wei admitted.
“You should come with me next time!” Yunlan exclaimed. “I’ll have to talk to Da Qing, but I don’t know why he would say no.” Shen Wei blinked at the name. He had not been expecting Da Qing to still be in contact with Yunlan after ten thousand years.
“I would like that,” he said, smiling.
“Great! I can...but I don’t have your phone number.”
“I don’t have a phone,” Shen Wei admitted.
“That explains why you never called me,” Yunlan joked. “Do you have...email, I guess?” Shen Wei had a school email that he rarely checked, but he would check it for Yunlan. He fumbled in his pockets and found a piece of paper. Yunlan offered him a pen before he could ask for it. Shen Wei was still not used to using pens, and was even less accustomed to the English alphabet, so it took him a while to write out his email. When he handed it over to Yunlan, the other man grinned down at it. “Your handwriting looks exactly how I expected it to,” he said. Shen Wei smiled and folded his hands into his lap. “Are you free next Saturday?”
“Yes, I think so.” Shen Wei would make himself free if he wasn’t.
“Great.” Yunlan folded the paper up and tucked it away into his jacket. He leaned backwards and looked up at the sky. “It’s a nice night tonight. I can almost see the stars. Look, there’s the Cowherd.” He pointed at a bright star lurking above the trees. “He’s one half of a sort of Romeo and Juliet kind of romance. ‘ If the two hearts are united forever, why do the two persons need to stay together—day after day, night after night? ’ Li Yan was obsessed with that poem for a while and I accidentally memorized it.” He wrinkled his nose, as if he didn’t want this poem to be in his mind, but Shen Wei could tell that he was proud of himself for remembering it.
“Who is that poem by?” Shen Wei asked.
“I don’t remember,” Yunlan admitted. “I just remember the words. I was shit at that in grade school, but I guess I learned something .” He laughed. Shen Wei looked up at the star glittering above them. The lines of poetry rocketed around his brain. He would look it up in the library tomorrow, or ask one of his friends who knew poetry. Hearing it spoken by Yunlan had knocked something loose inside of him.
“Yunlan, you out here?” They both looked up to see a woman wearing high waisted skinny jeans and a baggy flannel standing in the doorway. Loud electronic music pounded from the darkness behind her. “I wanna go home now.” She was clearly intoxicated.
“Li Yan, I was actually starting to have a nice time,” Yunlan complained.
“I want to sleep ,” Li Yan insisted. Yunlan rolled his eyes and turned back to Shen Wei.
“I’m sorry to leave you so soon,” he said, smiling. “Unfortunately, I have responsibilities. I’ll email you, though, and we’ll go on that hike. Okay?”
Shen Wei nodded and smiled back. “Yes. I will.” Yunlan’s smile turned into a grin, and he stood up. Shen Wei watched him walking away until he was consumed by the flashing lights and darkness of the party.
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“Who th’fuck was that?” Li Yan asked as Yunlan’s car pulled up to a stoplight. She had rolled her window down and was scowling out of it, as if she felt personally insulted by Yunlan pursuing romance.
“That,” Yunlan said, putting emphasis on the word, “Was my bioengineer.”
“You’re shitting me! You actually found him again?”
“He’s one of Cheng Xinyan’s friends. He’s very sweet, and he doesn’t know how to use technology, and I’m going to take him out on a hiking date.”
“Don’t you go hiking with Da Qing?”
“That’s not the point. It’s a date, and Da Qing will be there.”
“Some date.” Yunlan ignored the green light for enough time to punch his roommate in the shoulder, and she smacked him back.
“Anyways, I like him,” he said. “I think this is going to be different. He actually listened to me, Li Yan. He understands me.”
“No one can understand you. That’s bullshit.”
“I’ll tell you about this when you’re sober.”
“I am sober! Fuck you!” Yunlan ignored her and turned the radio up. It was late, so they were playing quiet music. He watched the houses flicker by and thought about the way Shen Wei’s smile had looked in the porch light. This felt right. He had never felt something so right .
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“Why do you let me follow you around, Shen Wei?” Kunlun had sprawled himself out on the grass and was watching the stars. “I’m not much use, I’m a fake general, all I do is tease you and occasionally shoot things. You have better things to do, don’t you?”
“What is better than you?” Shen Wei asked, looking down at the man beside him. “I would not change this for the world.”
" Hmph.” Kunlun grinned at him. “What do you know about stars?”
“Not a lot. I never studied astronomy.”
" Oh well. I was going to ask you about the constellations. I can’t see any that I recognize.” Kunlun sighed. “I guess the world changes the...further you go.”
" What are the stars like where you are from?” Shen Wei asked.
“Beautiful,” Kunlun breathed. “Almost as beautiful as you.” He slipped into a sing-song voice and rolled over to poke Shen Wei in the thigh. Shen Wei blushed and couldn’t think of anything to say. Kunlun flopped back onto the grass and put his hands behind his head. “You know, we could just make up a constellation. That one, right there?” He traced a shape with his finger that Shen Wei couldn’t quite comprehend. “I’m deciding that that is the Shen Wei constellation.
“Why?” Shen Wei asked.
"Because it looks like you!” Kunlun laughed as if that was the funniest thing he had ever said. “Here, you make one. It has to be a vague shape, and you give it a name and a story. I don’t need to tell you the Shen Wei constellation story; you already know it.” Shen Wei looked up at the stars. They seemed like random dots to him, but if Kunlun could find shapes in them, he would try, too.
“That one,” he said, tracing the vague shape of a cat in the sky. “That’s the Da Qing constellation. It follows the Kunlun constellation…” He traced something that he thought looked like a stick figure man. “...because it loves him and cares about him. And wants to protect him, too. They both protect each other.”
“Good! You’re catching on.” Kunlun grinned at him, and Shen Wei smiled back. He was sure he would never understand exactly why Kunlun said the things he did, but he liked them. They made him feel warmth in his chest. He looked up at the stars and wondered what other stories he could invent for them.