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"I can't do this," EJ muttered, his head in his locker. The locker room life buzzed around him, doors slamming shut and hype speeches all around. The atmosphere didn't do much to help him concentrate though. He had to be the one who concentrated the most too - he was the captain for a reason. When they were in the water it was his job to keep the team safe and usually he's up for it but for some reason today was just… he was off. EJ wasn't stupid but he didn't need a 4.0 GPA to know the rest of the team was getting affected by his mood.
A hand collapsed over his shoulder and EJ startled in surprise, his head hitting the locker door when he turned to see who it was. "You doing okay captain?" Jared, a junior on the team, asked him. "It's just… you seem a little off…" EJ took a shaky breath and knocked Jared's hand off him with a smile.
"I'm fine, go warm up the guys Jere," EJ said, looking at him with pleading eyes. He flickered his around the locker room at the rest of the team. "I'll be out in a few minutes okay?" He asked and thankfully Jared got the message. EJ turned around and started digging back into his polo duffle. What he was looking for, he had no idea but it kept his hands busy which was his priority.
"You all heard the captain! Get your asses moving!" Daryll's voice yelled and EJ couldn't help but chuckle a little bit. EJ waited until he heard the locker room door close before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His shoulders were tight, everything was just pure stress . His heart was racing and his palms wet with sweat. "EJ, baby can you hear me?" Daryll asked, his voice soft and warm. EJ flinched when he felt Daryll try to reach for his hand. His fingers twitched away from Daryll's.
"Daryll I can't - I can't do this," EJ said, his voice broken and shattered. "Please just go I - please," EJ begged, turning his head to look at Daryll with wide bloodshot eyes and tear streaked face. "They need you more than they need me," he sniffled and wrapped his arms around himself. EJ hugged his chest tightly, watching Daryll with careful eyes.
"Baby boy you know I can't do that," Daryll said with a soft smile on his face. "And you know you aren't supposed to be doing that ," he looked pointedly at the nails EJ was digging into his bicep. Daryll reached an arm out and gently ran his fingers down EJ's arm to his hand. EJ sucked in a breath at the sudden touch but slowly relaxed.
This was Daryll.
He was safe, Daryll was safe.
Once EJ's arms were hanging loosely at his side Daryll lurched forward and tugged him into his chest. EJ pressed his face into Darylls shoulder, his eyes squeezed shut. "I can't do this please don't make me I - Duke didn't even want me. You're better off with -" EJ hiccuped, "without a failure like me." Daryll stilled but wrapped his strong arms around EJ, holding him close. EJ continued to babble, he cried and he broke down in his boyfriend's arms and Daryll stood through it all.
"Baby," Daryll kissed the top of EJ's head with a soft smile. He pressed his face into EJ's hair, letting EJ snuggle and latch onto him with a voice. "Duke fucking sucks," Daryll snorted. "Fuck them if they don't want you." EJ cried again at the reminder, shaking as he stood in the middle of the locker room in Daryll's arms. "No listen to me EJ," Daryll said seriously and EJ stilled, breathing quietly into the chlorine scented air. "You are amazing, you are special, you are so so good baby," Daryll promised.
"You really -" EJ hiccuped and pulled his face out of Daryll's shoulder. He looked at the boy with a blotchy face and tear streaks on his cheeks. "You think I'm amazing?" He asked, blinking tears out of his eyes. Daryll nodded and reached up to gently cup EJ's face. EJ leaned into his touch, his own hand keeping Daryll's in place.
"I think you don't know how amazing you really are," Daryll said matter of factly. He reached behind EJ to close his locker door then move him so he can lean against it for support. Daryll closes the distance between them and kisses EJ on the lips. EJ whimpers a little bit when Daryll's tongue traces the outline of his lips. "When Jared threatened to quit last week who brought him back to the team?" Daryll asked and EJ rolled his eyes. "No - answer me, who brought him back?" He asked again, staring at EJ with big soulful eyes.
"Me," EJ said softly, a small smile on his face. "Cause we kind of need a goalie," EJ chuckled, the sound weak but there. Daryll nodded and kissed EJ's nose. EJ already felt more relaxed, more clear, sliding back into his Captain mindset.
"And," Daryll continued, kissing EJ's smile. "Who helped the new kid figure out his place with us?" He asked, watching EJ. EJ sighed and he was unable to stop his smile from getting a little bigger.
"Kevin," EJ said, stepping towards Daryll. He snakes his arms around Daryll's waist. "New kid's name is Kevin, transferred in from North High this semester." He kissed Daryll on the lips, smiling against his teeth. "And that was also me," he nuzzled their noses together. Daryll hummed, the sound warm and comforting, rattling around in his chest. "Is there a point to this?" EJ asked, like the little shit he is. Daryll hummed and shook his head, the tip of their noses brushing against each other.
"Yeah, the point is you're a dumbass," Daryll said, grinning when EJ squeaked in protest. "No you are , because just because some hot shot college doesn't want you doesn't mean we don't need you." Daryll tipped EJ's chin up to look at him. "Or that I don't want you baby boy ." EJ shuddered at the pet name - Daryll didn't use it often but when he did EJ tended to listen to him better.
"Thanks," EJ said quietly, his whisper the only sound in the now silent locker room. "Sometimes I forget I'm more than just a pretty face," he grabs Daryll's hand and squeezes it tightly. "Think you can handle playing center today?" EJ asked, flickering his eyes up to meet Daryll's. Daryll nodded and kissed EJ on the forehead, his lips pressing softly against the skin. "Okay," EJ nodded and took a shaky breath.
"Do you think you'll be okay to play at all today?" Daryll asked, keeping his arms around EJ's waist so he can't wiggle away. EJ shrugged and smiled dorkily at Daryll.
"Guess we'll find out won't we?" He asked. EJ stood on his tip toes to steal a kiss from Daryll's cheek. "Please don't tell anyone yet," EJ said softly when they started walking out to the pool. "I don't know what I'm going to say when they realize I didn't get in…" EJ trailed off and ran a hand through his hair anxiously. Daryll squeezed EJ's hand reassuringly.
"Whatever happens you know I'm in your corner," Daryll bent down to kiss the side of EJ's head. EJ could feel his smile, and let his own stretch across his face again.
"I know," EJ promised, squeezing Daryll's hand. He rolled his shoulders back and hoped by now his eyes looked a little less bloodshot. EJ led the way to the pool, tugging Daryll after him as they rejoined the rest of their team. "Alright Leopards!" EJ called out, a wide grin on his face. "Who's ready to win today?!"