Chapter Text
I surveyed the students boarding the Hogwarts Express nervously. They were loud, shouting at each other out the windows and across the platform. Their parents were hardly any better as they frantically waved goodbye to their children and yelled bits of advice that would never be heeded.
Even under different circumstances, better circumstances, it would have been nerve wracking. How could I ever manage to make myself at home with all these people who had known each other for years?
A comforting word or another goodbye hug would have been nice, but I’d already sent my parents home. There hadn’t seemed to be a reason for them to stick around right up until the train left.
I regretted that decision.
I waited by my trunk as I had for the last hour. Another student, one from my year, was supposed to meet me and show me around, but he didn’t seem to be anywhere. I only had a name to go by as I’d never met him before, but I thought he would look for me.
Eleven o’clock drew nearer so I gave up on my waiting and pulled my trunk onto the train. It was heavy, but I barely noticed the weight. Mum had grunted and groaned when she lifted my trunk down the stairs, but it was nothing for my newfound strength.
I found a compartment by myself and decided to wait a while before trying to find the boy again. Everything had been happening so quickly. Only a few weeks ago I wasn’t even sure I’d ever leave my house again, let alone attend Hogwarts.
Dad had promised to get me a private tutor so I could pass my final year, but I wasn’t sure I even wanted that. I still wasn’t sure about Hogwarts, but the offer had been too good to pass up.
That and Dad put his foot down when I refused to leave the house for even brief excursions. He rescinded his offer of a tutor and I was left with Hogwarts as my only option.
The platform left a gnawing feeling in my gut that it had been the wrong decision. I missed all my Durmstrang friends. Everyone my age at Hogwarts have known each other for years. Maybe last year I could have fit in, but not now. Too much had happened.
After an hour, I left my quiet compartment. Dumbledore had said I was expected, that someone would help me, but I hadn’t seen that so far.
I began walking down the train looking for the Heads’ compartment. It was a tradition Hogwarts had that Durmstrang didn’t and it made me nervous. If any student received extra authority at Durmstrang it was abused in an instant. The professors almost encouraged it. I would have preferred to avoid these Heads, but if anyone could help me find the boy I was looking for it would be them.
When I found the compartment, I quietly knocked on the door. I kept my head down and bit my lip.
The door opened and a girl spoke. “I don’t know you.” She sounded surprised and rather curious, as though she’d expected someone else at the door. I glanced up and instantly noticed her bright red hair. Her eyebrows were drawn together in a frown.
My face burned crimson and I spoke, my voice hardly above a whisper. “I-I’m new,” I mumbled. Once I hadn’t been so shy. Never outgoing, but I’d always managed to string a few coherent sentences together.
Her eyes lit up and the frown lifted from her face. She seemed almost friendly. “Oh! Dumbledore mentioned you, I remember now.”
I took a quick step away from the girl.
Dumbledore had mentioned me? I knew he’d told the boy everything, but had it really been necessary to inform the Head Girl? What if she told someone? My breathing quickened and I started to panic, but the girl was speaking again.
“We don’t have new students very often, except the first years of course. You’re the first that I’ve noticed. Is something wrong?” She must have noticed my fear. I’d have to be careful around her, she was astute.
I shook my head. Since she was still being so nice and hadn’t slammed the door in my face or hexed me, I had to assume she didn’t know. That was a relief and one less thing to worry about on a very long list.
The panic eased from my mind, but my stomach had yet to unclench. There was always the possibility someone had friends at Durmstrang, or their parents had heard something or a professor slipped up.
“Your name is Ana, right?” I nodded and the girl smiled even wider. She must have been one of those who just loved it when they had the correct answers. My friend Mascha was like that. I felt a pang as I thought of her, but banished the thought from my mind. “I’m Lily Evans, Head Girl. The Head Boy isn’t around yet, but I’m sure you’ll meet him later.”
I nodded again, but I was still caught up in my thoughts. In another life, Lily and I could have been friends. She seemed nice, if a little too eager, but I wasn’t planning on getting close to anyone. In just a year I’d be gone. My plans were to move to America, I’d heard things were different there. At the very least no one had heard of me and I could live as a muggle.
“-wish I could give you a map, but I don’t think one’s ever been made. There’s a fair bit of prejudice if you’re muggleborn and if you are I’d steer clear of some of the Slytherins. They can get nasty.”
I was a pureblood, as was everyone else at Durmstrang. That particular prejudice wouldn’t cause problems for me.
“I assume you’re caught up on your studies, but if you need any help I can tutor you. Did I miss anything?”
I hadn’t paid attention to the whole spiel, but I was sure she hadn’t. There was one thing I needed help with, though. “I’m er looking for Remus Lupin. Could you maybe help me find him?”
Something shifted slightly in Lily’s expression. It wasn’t exactly a scowl and the smile remained in place, but her entire face tensed. “Of course.” Her voice was prim and clipped.
As she headed down the corridor I had to trot to keep up with her. The chattering that had been nonstop in the Heads’ compartment had ceased when I mentioned Remus’s name.
A sickening thought struck me. Maybe she knew what he was. Maybe the whole school knew what he was. If that was the case I’d have to distance myself from him quickly. I couldn’t have people associating me with that.
Lily halted outside of one compartment, the one I assumed Remus was in. “I have to warn you about something,” she said.
I sucked in a deep breath. This was it. I knew coming to Hogwarts was a bad idea when Dumbledore offered me admission. Everyone knew about Remus and now they’d know about me too. If I owl Dad tonight, maybe he’ll let me come home before classes start, before anyone has the chance to remember me.
“Remus is a nice enough bloke on his own, but you’ll want to be careful of spending too much time around him. His friends are-” Lily paused and her face tinged slightly. “Well, complete wankers to put it bluntly.”
“What?” I wasn’t expecting that at all. Maybe I was being a bit paranoid about things. I shouldn’t jump every time someone says something that could be taken the wrong way.
“His friends,” Lily repeated, her hands still on the compartment door. “They call themselves the marauders. They’re pranksters.” It was clear by the way she said it that pranksters was meant to be a dirty word.
I shrugged. There weren’t many pranksters at Durmstrang. They didn’t put up with that kind of nonsense. Punishments were given out easily and students inclined to that sort of behavior rarely had the energy after classes and punishment work.
Lily sighed and slid open the door. She stepped in first and let me come around beside her. There were four boys in the compartment, all of them our age. They had that calm ease about them that came with self confidence.
The first had shaggy black hair and the sculpted face that girls loved to swoon over. I could practically feel his arrogance as he looked us over.
The second wore glasses and had a messy mop of hair. He was skinnier, but still muscular. His eyes lit up when he saw Lily and that was when I noticed the Head Boy badge pinned to his robes.
A cough drew my attention to a blond boy with watery blue eyes. He was attractive enough, but nothing like the other two. He almost reminded me of a friend from Durmstrang, the way he slouched over his seat.
It was the last boy that kept my attention, though. He had several visible scars on his face and arms, all of them pale and faded. He was also the only one not staring at me and Lily. I knew this had to be Remus.
“Lily, hi!” The Head Boy ran his hand through his hair, making it even messier.
Lily sniffed, but didn’t respond to his greeting. It struck me as rather snobby since the Head Boy seemed nice enough, but I would be the first to admit I didn’t know the whole story there.
“Ana, this is Remus.” She gestured at the boy with the scars. “I’ll leave you in his capable hands.”
She left the compartment and the Head Boy jumped up to follow her. The door slammed shut behind him and muffled the rest of their conversation so I turned to the three boys who were still staring at me.
“Who’s this, Moony?” Asked the boy with the shaggy black hair. “New girlfriend?”
“Hardly,” he muttered, not bothering to look up from his text.
I blushed deeply and shook my head. “I’m a er, new student.” My voice trembled as I spoke. The other two boys made me nervous, but Remus was terrifying. I’d known for a month I was going to meet him, but it was almost too much to handle.
I should know better than to fear him for what he is. After all, he’s just like me. But years of Durmstrang education schooled me otherwise and old habits die hard.
“A new student?” Asked the blonde boy. “You can just show up for your seventh year and skip everything else?”
“The slacker’s way out,” the first boy mused, a smirk on his face. “I do approve.”
I bit my lip and cast my gaze toward the ground. Being stared at by these boys was worse than being stared at by the Healers. At least they had a good reason.
“I’m Peter,” said the blonde boy. “This is Sirius. The Big Head Boy chasing after Lily is James. And you obviously know Remus.” I nodded even though I didn’t know Remus. This was the first time we’d met and so far he’d only said one word.
“So Ana,” Sirius said, a flirty smile dancing across his face. “What’s your story?”
I had rehearsed a lie with my father earlier in the week, but now my mind was blank. The only thing I could think of was the truth, so I settled for a vague statement. “I came from er, Durmstrang,” I said and left it at that.
Those few simple words darkened Sirius’s face immediately. The smile disappeared and he scowled at me ferociously. “Merlin, what’re you doing with her, Moony?” His tone made it clear we were not going to be friends.
Remus shrugged and I assumed Moony must be his nickname. “Dumbledore wanted me to show her around.” He didn’t add anything else and I continued to stand awkwardly by the door with my trunk at my feet. No one offered me a seat and I wasn’t about to force my presence on them.
I’d thought Remus would be a little more welcoming.
The compartment door flew open and the Head Boy, James as Peter had called him, came back in. He had an easy smile as he threw himself on the seat beside Sirius. I stared at him, willing him to invite me to sit down, but he ignored me completely and turned to his friend.
“Her resolve is weakening. It’s only a matter of time.”
Sirius snorted. “Evans is never going to say yes.”
“All she needs is some time,” James insisted. Neither spoke for a moment, then James seemed to notice my presence. Instead of speaking to me, he glanced at Sirius. “What’s with her?”
“New student from Durmstrang.” He said Durmstrang the same way Lily said pranksters, as if it was a filthy word.
James finally turned to me. “Durmstrang, eh? I’ve heard awful things about that place. My Mum told me they teach the dark arts above all else.”
That wasn’t exactly true. We did learn the dark arts, but we needed to. How can you receive a well rounded education if you skip a major subject? That was one of Dad’s problems with Hogwarts, that Dumbledore didn’t teach the dark arts.
“We learned a bit,” I said, biting my lip nervously.
Sirius scowled. “Why are you even in here? We’re Gryffindors. The Slytherins are your type of people.”
Lily had mentioned the Slytherins earlier, told me to stay away from them. I’d done a bit of reading about Houses over the summer and ironically before everything happened I probably would have fit in with the Slytherins the best. But they didn’t take too kindly to half-breeds like me and Remus.
“Lay off her, Padfoot,” James said, diffusing the tension as if he did it all the time. “She could be different.”
“She’s no different from the lot of them,” Sirius snapped. He eyed me up and down. “Pureblood, definitely. Not an arranged marriage, but you’ve been set up with suitable matches before. You’ve been to formal balls, several a year, I’d say. Maybe even the annual Black Christmas Ball. Am I right?”
I wasn’t able to refute any of the statements but the last one, so I latched onto it. “We’ve never actually been to the Black’s Christmas Ball.” My dad gets an invite most years, but we’ve never attended.
“I must speak with dear old Mum about that,” Sirius said, his voice full of spite. “Perhaps your owl got sidetracked by a dead mouse.”
His mother? How could he fling such accusations at me when he himself was a Black? My mouth must have dropped open because James intervened once again. “Padfoot, talk a walk.” Sirius didn’t move, but he didn’t say anything else to me either.
The tension in the compartment was still there, but at least now I wasn’t being verbally attacked over Durmstrang. I’d have to tread carefully around Sirius. He’d go out of his way to hurt me, to alienate me from the rest of the school.
And if he learned my secrets that certainly wouldn’t be difficult to orchestrate.