Archive of Our Own ^beta

It’s Wednesday. Nothing good ever happens on Wednesdays.

People tend to think the worst day of the week is Monday, because you’ve got five full days ahead of you of working, having to go through the motions.

They’re wrong.

Wednesday’s the worst.

You’ve had to bear two days of work, and there’s no hope for a break anytime soon as you still have two days after, enduring your boss asking you to feed the capitalist machine that is your workspace.

That time Yoongi sprained his ankle after catching his foot on the coffee machine’s carpet ? A Wednesday.

When it hailed and he’d forgotten to close his car’s windows ? Still a Wednesday.

So, when Yoongi walks back to his desk after lunch and finds an envelope with his name on it, opens it and an explosion of glitters spreads on his desk, in his fuming coffee mug, all over his body, he’s not that surprised. 

It’s a Wednesday.

He stands, shoulders hunched, over the disaster that has become his desk.

It’s okay, he thinks, it could be worse.

He’s feeling tired, in the mood for an afternoon nap, but he doesn’t have the luxury to indulge ; he has to stay awake.

He sighs, grabbing his shiny mug, and walks back to the break room to pour the glittery coffee in the sink, wash his mug and pour himself another cup.

Wednesdays are terrible but he’s gone through many of them.

He has no energy to clean his desk just yet and accepts his fate : having glitter stuck on his ass. He sits down, glitter floating around him, and takes the envelope between his fingers.

There’s a card in it. He frowns, turning it around.

Ominous, a single sentence figures on it.

Friday, smoking area, 7pm

Oh god.

It was bound to happen someday.

He pissed off someone enough for them to want to beat him up.

Yoongi pushes his palms against his eyes, sighing.

From the operational mode, to take the time to be such a pain in the ass and cover everything around him in glitter, the person has to be ridiculously angry and petty.

It has to be the same person that has been threatening him for months now.

At first, he didn’t think much of it. You know, the first couple times, he thought it was an accident, then he wondered if someone was trying to passive-aggressively tell him something, and then it became personal.

It went from numerous burning hot coffees perched at the edge of his desk, Yoongi almost making them fall into his lap every single time, to unidentified coffees coming from some unknown shop outside their building, and Yoongi’s seen enough movies to know not to drink stuff given by strangers.

And then, once, he arrived one morning and discovered a huge floral arrangement sitting on top of his desk. He stopped in his tracks, meters away. He hadn’t taken his antihistamnics that morning and he could see the perfect hellish combination to bring him to his knees in a matter of seconds : asters, baby’s breaths, dahlias and daisies. 

Someone had walked into a flower shop and had asked for the most allergen bouquet. That was the only explanation.

After that, he’d been wary of his colleagues, but this ? A direct threat ?

What has Yoongi done to have a personal vendetta against him?

He looks up from his desk, staring at his colleagues.

Who wants his demise ?

It has to be someone from this floor, someone who knows when he takes his breaks, when he’s not paying attention.

Yoongi has 48 hours to find the culprit before his life gets in the line.

He has to be methodical.

There are six other people who work with him on this floor : Kim Taehyung, their manager, Kim Namjoon in human resources, and then Jeon Jungkook, Kim Seokjin, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin and him, taking care of daily tasks.

He hums, fingers draped under his chin, some glitter still floating around.

It could be anyone.

These men are the only ones who know about his lunch break hours, could’ve overheard him talking to his doctor about his worries concerning spring coming around again, known about his weakness for coffee.

Ok, when it comes to the coffee part, anyone in the building could’ve deducted it, as he nevers moves anywhere without a mug in his hand.

But the glitter. Oh, the glitter. This is too much of a hassle to prepare for it not to be somewhat personal.

So. Someone he works with.

He has to interrogate them all and unveil the mystery shrouding him and his fucking shining desk.

He gets up from his chair. A few meters away, Seokjin’s throwing injeolmi rice balls into Jungkook’s open mouth, Jimin filming the scene, Hoseok staring at them, the four of them screaming every time Seokjin lands a shot.

A common occurrence.

He walks to Namjoon-ssi’s office. He’s the only one with their manager to have a separate room from the open-space.

“Namjoon-ssi?” He asks, knocking on the door. Namjoon hums, so Yoongi enters the room.

“Close the door behind you.” Namjoon tells him, eyes fixed on his screen. “I mean.” He tears his gaze away, a smile appearing on his face. “Only if you want to. But it’s always nice to have some intimacy.”

He turns on his chair, crosses his fingers and drapes his chin over them.

“What can I do for you?” He asks before squinting. “Going for a little more exuberant clothing style?” He’s smiling, vaguely pointing with his index finger at Yoongi’s glittering clothes.

Yoongi closes his eyes, groaning, and then takes a seat.

“Namjoon-ssi. How close do you think we are?” Honesty always works with Namjoon. Yoongi has learned, since Namjoon teared up when his favorite pen broke and Yoongi found him the exact same after some research on the web and handed him one a couple days later, that having your heart on your sleeve is the way to proceed with him.

They’re not friends, per se, but Yoongi’s always felt like he should invite him over for dinner, or something. He’s nice. 

But maybe he’s wrong, and he got Namjoon the wrong pen, or insulted his bonsai somehow, or did something to make him want to murder him. 

He has to know.

“I’d say we’re rather close. I mean, you update me on office gossip over somaeks and I give you little tree shaped stamps. I don’t give them to anyone.”

Yoongi smiles at Namjoon’s very serious face. He knows these little gestures of affection truly are sincere coming from him.

“If I did anything that hurt you, you would tell me, right?”

Namjoon frowns.

“Given my inability to put up with miscommunication, I think you’d receive an email in a matter of minutes, or that I would trap you into a conversation in the break room.”

“With some coffee.”

“That would be the point of being in the break room.”

Yoongi sighs, running his hands up his thighs.

“What’s going on?” Namjoon asks.

“If you had to beat someone to death, how would you go about it?”

Namjoon’s frown gets comically worse.

“I wouldn’t.”

“No, but.” Yoongi waves his hand between them, frowning too. “If you had to.”

The other one hums.

“I guess I’d staple their head to death. You know, it’s the closest weapon around me.”

Yoongi nods.

“And if you had to kill me?”

Namjoon snorts.

“What has gotten into you?”

“You don’t want to kill me?” Yoongi asks, leaning forward. He doesn’t think it’s him, that’s why he started with him, maybe his only ally.

“No! I’m not sure I would even be able to get into a fight with someone unless I can make them miserable using paperwork.”

Yoongi breathes in, holds it in for a second, and breathes out.

“I think someone’s after me. I received a letter with a threat. And lots of glitter in it.”

Namjoon’s eyebrows shoot up, his mouth opening. He points at Yoongi’s clothes.

“Oh… So that’s why you look like this.”

“Yeah. If I find out who wants to beat me up, can you fire them?” Yoongi asks and Namjoon nods.

“I can work around that, yeah.”

“And if you’re the one who wants to kill me, can I get you fired?”

Namjoon laughs.

“That would be hard, you’d have to file a complaint, it would take months before it’d be brought to justice.”

“So, you’re in a powerful position in this situation.” Yoongi states, sees Namjoon panic, shaking his hands in front of him.

“I am, but I do not want to kill you. With my bonsai, you’re the reason I like going to work every morning.”

“That’s sweet, but that’s also a lie. You’ve never brought me your favorite movies to watch like you did with Jungkook-ssi.”

Honestly? He’s just messing with him, likes the way he flushes a deep red, looking for an answer.

“That’s not the same!” He tries saying, sputtering, making Yoongi laugh.

“I know. We’re bound to each other by paperwork and something akin to office friendship. Jungkook-ssi? I hope he gets the clue after the umpteenth romance movie you lend him. You know you could invite him to your place to watch one, right?”

Namjoon groans, letting his head fall back, staring at the ceiling.

“He’s so hot.” He complains, and Yoongi laughs.

He doesn’t think his almost-friend-but-most-certainly-partner-in-crime wants to end his life.

“Anyway. Do you have any tangible enemies here?” Namjoon sits upright, quizzically staring at him.

“I don’t know. I think they all are potential murderers after I closed us a deal and made us work overtime every day for a couple months.”

Namjoon pinches his lips, closing his eyes.

“I had never been happier to work in human resources than that time.”

“But there was also that time where I won the company raffle and went to see Epik High.”

Namjoon grits his teeth in a painful smile.

“Ah, yeah, even I am still pissed about that.”

“And let’s not forget that time where I left for my paid leave for three weeks in Italy and right during that time there was a typhoon and a power outage and they spent these weeks trying to salvage the data they lost and I came back all happy and relaxed and everyone looked like they had been through hell and back.”

Namjoon chuckles as Yoongi rakes his fingers through his hair. What if it’s a group attack?

“There was the dog incident as well.”

Yoongi frowns.

“What are you talking about?”

“That one time you walked in on a dog-sitter who was taking half-a-dozen dogs on a walk and didn’t warn anyone.”

He squints, jaw clenched.

“It was just dogs. Cute dogs. But it’s not as terrible as the servers’ malfunction.”

“Oh.” Namjoon leans forward and puts a hand on Yoongi’s forearm. “It is. They talked about it for weeks.”

Yoongi groans, letting his head fall.

“The office has turned against me. I have to write my will and accept my fate.”

“I’ll keep an eye open, see if I notice anything suspicious.”

Yoongi nods, patting Namjoon’s hand.

“Thanks. Let’s go out for drinks next week, if I’m still around.”

Namjoon smiles, gentle and soft.

“Sure thing, good luck with your investigation. I’d be really sad if you actually died.”

It makes Yoongi feel better.

“Thanks man.”

When Yoongi walks back into the open-space, Taehyung and Jungkook are talking, Jungkook showing something on his screen, their manager laughing. Seokjin is watering the plants the way he always does, meaning : menacingly. Hoseok is laughing on the phone, and Yoongi can see him scrolling down pictures of dogs. Jimin, as per usual, looks absolutely stunning, eyebrows drawn together, biting his lip with focus.

He walks up to him.

He’s absolutely charming. He looks like an angel.

Jimin looks up from his notepad, and Yoongi notices that he’s drawing what looks like… Zoro and Luffy smooching.

Maybe Yoongi would like to invite him to coffee at a nice place, outside of their building, on a proper date. But Jimin’s out of his league.

He’s the lovechild of ancient Greece statues and modern day famous instagrammers who post about their lives and their good looks as if they made little to no effort to look so flawless. Except that in Jimin’s case, he’s effortlessly handsome.

He’s seen him arrive late, once, after forgetting to set his alarm, looking better than Yoongi on his best days, seen him drenched and soaking on their carpet, looking like the romantic lead of a movie about to confess his love.

Jimin is dreamlike.

Jimin is not for him.

Yoongi can only stare and stare at his perfection, his endearing habits, and his questionable One Piece fanarts.

“Yoongi-ssi, sorry, I didn’t see you coming, I’m a bit busy.” Jimin tells him with the most careful smile, soft.

His cheeks look as smooth as silk. Yoongi wants to reach out.

He mostly needs to get a grip on himself.

“It’s okay, Jimin-ssi. Was just coming to say hi.”

Yoongi thinks about the threat. If he gets beaten up to death, he’ll never be able to contemplate him again.

He sees Seokjin firing his water pistol at the plants.

He has to continue his investigation.

“You look good today.” Jimin tells him, pencil lightly bouncing on his plump bottom lip.

Yoongi has to blink and look away. He scoffs.

“A bit too glittery to my taste.”

Jimin laughs, face lighting up. What a delight.

“It actually brings attention to you. It’s nice.” He tells him, and Yoongi almost doesn’t feel as bad as he did seconds ago about being a walking disco ball.

“You should get glitter-filled envelopes once in a while too, then.” He replies, smirking, and Jimin pinches his lips, smiling.

“You should see me at clubs. Nothing like a little glitter to bring out your eyes.” He tells him conspiratorially and Yoongi grins, gums showing. He’d love to see him there. Maybe even dance with him.

“I’m sure you look lovely.” It’s harmless. He’s not really hitting on him. Just stating facts. 

Yoongi has been careful. He often talks with Jimin, bickers with him, compliments him, but he’s never made a move on him. He is all too aware of the gulf between them.

He likes it though, when Jimin’s attention’s trained on him for a little office chat, like right now.

Jimin’s eyes are closed, he’s smiling, happy.

“I should leave you to your very important business.” Yoongi finally says, licking his lips.

Jimin turns his pencil between his fingers.

“Thank you, I have to restore justice.” He tells him, very serious all of a sudden.

“You’re making this world a better place by doing this.” Yoongi replies gravely.

“Thanks.” Jimin offers him a lopsided smile, and then a wink.

Yoongi needs to take a step back, withstanding the blow, and then he walks away, a bit stunned.

Park Jimin. What a man.

Yoongi walks towards Seokjin, dazed, smiling to himself, forgetting for a second he has only two days left to live in peace.

“Seokjin-ssi.” He says, extending a hand towards Seokjin who’s spraying a dying plant.

Seokjin turns around and sprays water in his face.

“I’m busy.”

Yoongi sighs. It’s always like this with him.

“I’d like to–”

Another spray.

“Take an appointment with my assistant.” Seokjin replies, spraying other decaying plants.

Yoongi puts a hand in front of his face.

“You don’t have an assistant, none of us do.”

A spray, longer than the others.

“Just come talk with me when you’re done.”

Seokjin turns around, menacingly pointing the water gun at his face. He squints at him.

“Fine.”

Yoongi sighs and walks back to his desk, plopping down, glitters flying up around him.

Sometimes he wonders about his purpose in this office. Their purpose. The purpose of work itself.

He looks at Seokjin supposedly taking care of the plants. He always sprays them, never waters them, and then wonders why they’re dying. He also sprays anyone trying to distract him from this important task.

Namjoon has forbidden him to water the bonsai on his desk.

Seokjin complies because he knows Namjoon can and will make his life a paperwork living hell if he tries approaching it.

Yoongi swipes some of the glitter off his desk, drinking some coffee.

Taehyung walks by his desk as he gets back to his office. He stops in his tracks.

“Are you doing cosplay?” He asks, and Yoongi frowns.

“Why would I be?”

Taehyung scoffs, gives him a grimacing smile.

“The sun’s shining on you and you’re shimmering under it. Looks like Twilight to me.” He tells him before snickering.

Yoongi closes his eyes for a second, trying to remain calm.

“You’re lucky you’re technically higher in the hierarchy than me.”

Taehyung grins at him before walking away.

“I know.” He says, before closing the door behind him.

Seokjin grabs a chair and rolls towards him, his spray gun sitting between his legs.

“What is it you wanted to see me about?” He asks.

Yoongi breathes in. There’s a very simple way to know if Seokjin is after him or not.

“How would you kill someone, if you had to?”

Seokjin nods, as if it’s a normal question to ask.

“Actually, I thought about it while doing a face mask the other night.”

“Yeah?” Yoongi scoffs.

“Yeah. I’d challenge them to a fair fight. You know. What’s the fun in killing someone if you haven’t earned it?”

Yoongi frowns. Looks similar to what he’s received.

“You’d challenge me?” He asks and Seokjin laughs.

“No. I’m sure you’d bite. I don’t want anyone to bite me unless it’s consensual.”

Yoongi snorts.

“And, I’m sorry to break it out to you but it’s not like that between us.”

He nods.

“I figured.”

“Good.”

Now, maybe it was too easy. What if it’s a ploy to make him lower his defenses ? 

“But, how would you go about it?”

“Very simple. I’d choose a crowded place so there would be witnesses, and state why I want them dead, and then discuss with them on the weapon of choice for our duel.”

“What if they don’t want to fight?”

Seokjin shrugs.

“Then I hire a very good lawyer and poison their lunch.”

Yoongi nods. Seokjin’s always been somewhat trustworthy. He doesn’t think he’s the one who’s been threatening him.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. Don’t forget we have a meeting at five.” He tells him, completely unfazed by their discussion.

Yoongi nods.

“Sure.”

“Don’t forget the darts.” Seokjin says, standing up.

Yoongi shakes the box on his desk, and his colleague gives him a thumbs up.

He leans back in his chair, threading his fingers in his hair.

When he looks at his hands, they’re covered in glitter. He groans.

So. It’s not Namjoon, probably not Seokjin. 

“You okay, back there?” Jimin calls from his desk and Yoongi’s heart speeds up.

Surely, it couldn’t be him? Jimin’s gentle and careful, and slightly cruel but in a lovely way. 

He likes teasing his coworkers, and he’s terrifying when he’s mad, but what would Yoongi have ever done to him?

Maybe he knows he’s into him and is so repulsed by the idea his only option is to eliminate him?

Yoongi squares his shoulders. No need to get ahead of himself.

Jimin appears next to him.

“Yoongi-ssi?”

He snaps back to reality, a little dazed and confused.

“Yeah?” He clears his throat. “Yeah, doing fine. Very busy today.”

“You look like you could use a coffee. It’s on me.” Jimin tells him, a grin blooming on his face, and Yoongi can only mimic him.

He feels warm as he gets up from his chair, almost isn’t mad about the glitter covering his ass.

He loves how Jimin walks, feline, discreet, and yet assured. Yoongi feels like a goblin next to him compared to how stunning he always is.

“Did you see Inoue’s new Real volume came out?” Jimin asks, light, pouring them coffees.

Yoongi accepts the mug he hands him, and their fingers graze. He’s distracted by how soft his fingers are, how small they would look laced between his.

He really likes talking with him. Yoongi nods.

“My Japanese’s too rusty to buy it now, I’ll have to wait for the translation.”

Jimin tucks his head to the side, a mysterious smile playing on his lips.

“There are other, quicker, ways to read it.”

Yoongi clicks his tongue, amused.

“I’m too old to be burning my eyes trying to read speech bubbles at two in the morning on my phone.”

Jimin tucks a shoulder up, smirking.

“Then put your glasses on.” He tells him.

“I don’t have glasses.” Yoongi replies indignantly and Jimin’s smile grows larger.

“Liar. I saw you, last summer, reading in the smoking area while everyone was at the restaurant.”

Yoongi pinches his lips.

“You weren’t supposed to see.” He feels slightly offended. No one’s supposed to know that, even less someone as dreamlike as Jimin.

“It suits you.” Jimin tells him, charming, head tucked to the side. He drinks some coffee. “Makes you look hot.” Drinks some more while Yoongi blushes, hiding behind his mug.

See, normally, any sensible person would think hey this guy is flirting with me , but Yoongi’s not a fool. He’s vaguely aware of what makes someone cool or not. And, by all means, he definitely isn’t. Jimin hangs out outside of work with Taehyung and Jungkook, who are definitely not spending their Friday nights watching true crime shows while eating take-out chinese with their cat trying to take up all the space in front of the screen. And he’s sure as hell isn’t hot , with his oversized black sweater he hides his hands in, and the roots of his bleached blond hair showing.

If anything, Yoongi’s okay . He could even be handsome, but he doesn’t stand the comparison, being in the same room as someone like Jimin. Jimin and his perfect peach hair, his dangly earrings highlighting the beauty of his lines, round and sharp at the same time ; Jimin who looks like he’s about to walk down a runway when he simply sits behind his desk and works while joking with Hoseok ; Jimin and his perfect laugh, his adorable grin, his –

Jimin quizzically staring at him.

Oh.

He hasn’t replied.

Yoongi laughs, uneasy, before drinking again.

“Thank you.” He manages to croak out. “I’m sure you’d look even better with them.”

Jimin laughs, swatting his hand before him.

“I actually have glasses, I just forget to wear them.” He tells him with an air of secrecy.

Yoongi preciously stores the information away.

Information.

Right. 

He’s supposed to be interrogating him.

“Say, Jimin-ssi.” He pours himself more coffee, refills Jimin’s cup.

The other hums.

“Do you know if anyone’s got a grudge against me?”

Jimin frowns.

“No? Why would you say that? Everyone loves you around here.”

“Even if I got to pet lots of dogs and you didn’t?”

Jimin nods, eyes fluttering close.

“Maybe we were all jealous that day, but I wouldn’t say anyone’s got a grudge against you.”

Yoongi leans forward, and Jimin mimics him, so very close to him.

“Someone’s been sending me threats.” He confides in him, and Jimin gasps.

“Are you okay?” He asks, turning his head towards him, lips almost grazing his cheeks.

Yoongi tries to stay calm.

“Yeah. I’m a bit worried. At first, it was little things, then they targeted things that made me vulnerable, but they want to meet. I think I’m going to get beaten up.”

Jimin doesn’t move for a second, frowning, before his face blanks.

“When are you meeting up?”

Yoongi sighs.

“Friday night.”

“That’s terrible, you have to find out who it is.” Jimin puts a hand on his knee, small fingers wrapping around it.

Yoongi smiles. Jimin’s so sweet.

“If you hear anything, let me know.”

He nods.

“Of course.”

“You should tell Taehyung-ssi. Maybe he can help.”

Yoongi timidly grazes his fingers.

“I’ll tell him in the morning, we have the meeting first, and I think he has a call afterwards.”

“You clock out early today, don’t you?” He asks him, wrapping their pinkies together.

Jimin’s gentle. He’s such a nice coworker. He even remembers when he finishes work.

“Yeah.”

“Take care of yourself tonight, okay? I’m sure you’ll be okay at the end of the week.” He tells him, smiling.

Yoongi wants to lean in and kiss his cheek. Kissing his lips would be too daring. The thought itself is already too much.

“How can you know?”

Jimin shrugs, getting on his feet, stepping away from him.

He opens the door to their open space and looks back at him.

“I have a good feeling about it.”

Yoongi smiles, frowning, confused.

He was terrible at this interrogation, but, still, he refuses to believe Jimin would mean him any harm.

He comes back to his desk, staring at Namjoon fondly talking with Jungkook. He’s got a hand on his shoulder, and Jungkook’s beaming at him. 

Yoongi wonders how long it will take them to realize they like each other.

He can be lots of things, but, at least, he isn’t dense like they are.

Glitter still floats around him as he sits down. He’s getting somewhat used to it, sighing, brushing some of them away from his keyboard, but it only sticks them between the keys.

He received an email from Taehyung.

this meeting’s boring. play with me.

There’s a link attached. Yoongi clicks on it.

He laughs.

Taehyung wants to play Battleships.

It has to be an accountant meeting, he hates those.

Sure. He’ll play with him.

Taehyung’s not very good at this game, but he seems to enjoy it, and Yoongi likes to see him happy, so he obliges.

He focuses on figuring out where his ships are when Jungkook sits on the edge of his desk.

“Your ass is going to get covered in glitter.” Yoongi mumbles, staring at his screen.

“I don’t mind it.”

Yoongi hums non-comitallly. 

“That makes at least one of us.”

“Say.” Jungkook starts, fidgeting next to him. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Is it about the Lee file?” Yoongi asks, already aware it is not about it.

“No, it’s about Namjoon-ssi.”

Yoongi nods, tries keeping the smile off of his face.

“Shoot.”

“Do you..uh. Do you know if he’s single?”

Yoongi smirks, destroys one of Taehyung’s ships.

“Which part of he collects pretty rocks and talks to his bonsai did you not get?”

“But that’s very sweet.”

He snorts.

“Right. Of course you’d think that.”

He tears his gaze off from the screen and smiles at his colleague.

“He’s terribly single. Now go and ask him on a hike or something. Send me the wedding announcement in a couple years.”

Jungkook furiously blushes.

“Do you think he’d be interested?”

Yoongi focuses back on his game.

“He let you take care of his bonsai when he took his trip to Vienna last year. That’s basically proposing to you.”

“Ah.” 

Yoongi can hear the grin in his voice.

“Thanks hyung.”

He hums.

“Sure.”

From the corner of his eye, he can see Hoseok and Seokjin having their weekly paper plane contest. They’re both terrible at it and he’d crush them in a single try, but it makes them smile so widely, he doesn’t have it in him to destroy their pleasure.

Now left alone, he thinks about the threat as he waits for his turn.

From the conclusion he was able to draw, neither Seokjin, Jimin or Namjoon want to kill him. It leaves him with Jungkook, Hoseok and Taehyung.

He’ll interrogate them tomorrow. He still has some time ahead of him.

He’ll start with Taehyung. He knows a lot of things about their team. Yoongi really hopes he can save his life.

He wins the game, stretching on his chair.

Jimin catches his eye, he’s staring at him, so Yoongi smiles, small and gentle, and Jimin smiles back.

Sometimes, Yoongi wonders what would’ve happened if he’d been...well. If he’d been more than what he was.

He remembers Jimin’s first day.

Yoongi had been floored with how exquisitely handsome he was, elegant and mesmerizing, hair artfully mussed, dyed a charming blonde.

He’s not sure he was even able to properly welcome him, too dazed.

And then Namjoon had walked into their open-space, looking panicked.

“I lost my usb key.” He’d said, eyes wide and horrified.

“The shiba one?” Jungkook had asked and Namjoon had nodded.

“It had the complete Mushishi series on it.” He’d confessed and Jungkook and Taehyung had gasped.

“Where do you think you could’ve put it?” Yoongi had asked and Namjoon had shaken his head, distraught.

“I think I may have trashed it with some papers yesterday.”

“And the trash’s already been disposed of.” Hoseok had concluded.

Namjoon’s shoulders had sagged, when Yoongi had thought of something.

“Here, yes, but not the building’s. Namjoon, you owe me lamb skewers.” He’d told him before leaving their floor, taking the elevator.

Jimin had slipped inside as the doors were closing, making him frown.

“What are you doing?” He’d asked him.

“Helping you.” Jimin had replied.

Jimin was too handsome, magnificent, every superlative, for what he was about to do.

“You really don’t have to follow me.”

He had squinted.

“It’s my choice to make.”

The elevator had stopped underground, and Jimin had followed him to the building’s trash cans. 

There were so many of them. Yoongi sighed.

“Let’s start with the ones on our left.” Jimin had decisively said, taking his sweatshirt off, his shirt riding up, Yoongi staring, stunned.

So they’d spent an hour rummaging through trash bags, trying to find the shiba’s half containing the key, a lovely little dog butt Namjoon took pride in connecting to his computer.

“Why are you doing this on your first day?” Yoongi had asked at some point. He didn’t deserve to be standing around so much filth.

But Jimin had smiled, so very gentle and charming.

“I’m part of the team now.” He’d replied.

Yoongi had wanted to ask him out for a drink, anything, but he was so divine, he was intimidated. He didn’t feel like he was worthy of asking him out.

The man was devastatingly beautiful, but also nice. This was terrible for his heart.

“Welcome.” He’d said, any other suggestion dying on his lips. “I’d like to say this is not a common occurrence, but that would be lying.”

Jimin had laughed, shaking his head.

“I’m sure I’m gonna have a nice time with you.”

Yoongi had pinched his lips, nodding.

Every minute spent with him had been leaving his nerves on fire. 

He was not meant to spend so much time with someone like him. He had been about to crumble and start babbling idiocies, or praise. 

“Guys !” Namjoon’s voice had come from behind them. “We found it! It was under my book pile.”

Yoongi had pinched the bridge of his nose.

“How did it end up there?” He’d asked.

“Ah, I cleaned my desk yesterday.”

Yoongi would’ve liked to ask him how moving a pile of books was considered cleaning, but he also really really needed to flee and spend a solid ten minutes silently screaming in the bathroom.

“Great. Well, Jimin, sorry to have made you rummage through trash for nothing. I’ll get upstairs and get cleaned.” He’d said, making a sprint to the elevators, leaving Jimin and Namjoon behind.

And then he had indeed spent almost fifteen minutes short-circuiting in the bathroom.

He’d known from the beginning that working with Jimin would ask him to display a lot of self-control.

Yoongi turns on his chair.

Maybe, if he’d been more than he was, he would’ve asked him out, shot his shot and prayed to be lucky.

But he’s very lucid about this.

Admiring from afar is good enough.

Hoseok calls him to arbitrate their paper planes contest and Yoongi complies, enjoys himself until Taehyung gets out from his office and yawns.

“Time to pack, today was a good day!” He tells them, and everyone in the open space starts moving. “Take care everyone.”

Yoongi has 48 hours left to find out who wants to kill him.

_____________

When Yoongi gets in the elevator the next morning, Namjoon skitters to him, sliding in before the doors close.

“How are you feeling on this fine day?” He asks, smiling, holding a battered book between his arms.

Yoongi grumbles.

“Like shit. I could barely sleep.”

“Your sworn enemy ?” He asks and the other nods.

“Wish I knew who it was.”

“You still have a couple days ahead of you.” Namjoon tries to reassure him but it only makes Yoongi groan.

“I should maybe preemptively shiv everyone in the office.”

Namjoon gasps.

“You wouldn’t stab me!?”

Yoongi turns to stare at him, an eyebrow raised.

He squints.

“Maybe not you.”

“Ah.” Namjoon grins. “I’ll buy you lunch.”

Yoongi shakes his head.

“You know I always eat on my own. Buy me a beer next time.”

Namjoon nods.

“A beer it is then.”

The doors open and they get to their office and desk.

A few minutes later, Yoongi walks into the break room, Hoseok already handing him a fuming hot cup of coffee.

Someone’s brought fake mustaches.

Yoongi’s not awake enough to see all of his colleagues wearing them.

They seem to find his lack of reaction very funny.

He doesn’t even try to protest when Jimin sticks him one. It’s Jimin, after all, he can’t refuse him anything.

He stares at his mug, the glued facial hair feeling weird on his face.

“And how am I supposed to drink with this on?” He asks.

Jungkook laughs, looking like an 80s american actor with his terrible fucking mustache.

“You just have to get creative.” He replies, drinking flavored milk, tilting his head back.

The day is going to be so very long.

He indulges them, though, keeps it on.

“Taehyung-ssi?” He turns to his manager.

He’s sporting an italian mob mustache.

Yoongi wants to scream.

“Yoongi-ssi.” He tells him, face carefully neutral.

“Could I see you in your office, please?”

“Sure.”  He replies, winking at Jimin who’s wearing a fake mustache and beard. It’s terrible. He doesn’t even look that awful with it.

Yoongi follows him into the room, Taehyung closing the door behind them.

“Everything okay?” Taehyung asks him, sitting on his desk, relaxed and smiling.

He shrugs, leans back against the door.

“I’ve received threats.”

Taehyung frowns, hand crispating on the desk’s edge.

“How long?”

“A couple months.”

“Why didn’t you come sooner?” He asks, pinching his lips.

“I didn’t really think it was serious. It was just hazardous items, nothing more.”

Taehyung hums.

“But I received a direct threat yesterday.”

Taehyung’s frown deepens, almost impossibly so. It would be funny if Yoongi wasn’t about to get his ass kicked in around 36 hours.

“What do you mean?”

“I received a booby-trapped parcel, with a place, date, and time. Tomorrow after work. Any idea who would like to harm me? It has to be someone from this floor, I’ve only received these threats during lunch break ; they’re the only ones knowing I eat alone and when I disappear for lunch.”

Taehyung hums, eyes almost closed.

“I really wonder who could be sending you so many calls for attention.” He taps his chin. “A mystery.” He opens his eyes. “Are you going to go?”

Yoongi nods.

“This has to come to an end.”

Taehyung hums.

“Right. How do you know I’m not the author of these threats?”

“I don’t. But I thought maybe you would have valuable intel. Are you planning on beating me up in the smoking area?” Yoongi asks him, sporting a small smile.

Taehyung smiles back.

“I don’t like getting my hands dirty. Why do you think I’m so good at delegating everyone tasks?”

Yoongi laughs, shaking his head.

“You could’ve hired someone.”

It’s Taehyung’s turn to laugh.

“I’m a branch manager, not an oligarch, my pockets aren’t that deep.”

Yoongi nods, humming.

“Fair enough.”

“But I’ve seen enough murder mystery dramas to tell you it usually isn’t what you expect that happens to be true.” Taehyung leans back on his desk, playing with a pen.

“I’ll try keeping that in mind, thanks.”

Taehyung winks at him, his pen falling to the ground.

Yoongi grins, leaving his office.

He’s nowhere closer to the truth, but he can check someone off of his list.

It leaves him with Jungkook and Hoseok.

They’re so sweet and gentle. Could they really be murderers ?

Then he remembers that one time Hoseok had actually been mad and he’d been scared for his life. And Jungkook could probably bend him in half with the muscles he’s been developing lately.

He makes an effort not to draw any hasty conclusion.

His desk and chair have been cleaned.

But there’s also a new parcel.

Yoongi looks around.

Everyone’s busy at their desks.

He sits down and carefully opens it. 

There’s a magnifying glass in it.

He’s confused, looks into the package again.

At the bottom sits the tiniest piece of paper.

It makes him sigh, takes it in his hand and brings the magnifying glass to it, revealing the message.

Good job detective, but you won’t discover who I am until it’s time. Enjoy yourself, we’ll see each other tomorrow night.

He’s fuming, being blatantly provoked.

He looks around again, catches Jimin looking, smiling at him.

When he sees the look on his face, his smile fades away and he gets away from his desk to join him, putting a hand between his shoulder blades.

“What’s happening?” He asks him and Yoongi groans, showing him the threatening message.

Jimin hums, nodding.

“Seems like you’re being played.” He starts. “But I have to say, this is very creative.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes.

“We’re talking about someone who means harm to me.”

“You don’t know about that.” Jimin replies, and he looks so very gentle, Yoongi could almost forget the fake beard and mustache.

“You aren’t the one who’s been targeted for months.” Yoongi replies, focusing on the feeling of Jimin’s hand against his back.

“It’s true, but you could still have a nice surprise.”

“I’ll be sure to ask if he’s got balloons for me as well tomorrow when he takes a knife out.”

Jimin laughs, and it makes Yoongi smile.

Maybe a trip to the hospital is okay if Jimin brings him flowers and stays at his bedside.

Jimin pats his back.

“Have to head back to my desk. Working on sensitive stuff.”

Yoongi grins.

“Fanfiction?”

Jimin nods.

“Something to go with my fanart.”

“Of course.”

“Oh, and, by the way, you should keep the stache on other days. It doesn’t look that bad on you.” Jimin gives him a lopsided smile.

“This won’t happen another time.” He replies sternly, making Jimin laugh.

“Shame.” He tells him, waving at him as he goes back to his desk.

Jimin. Marvellous Jimin. Yoongi sighs. Too much pining will drive him away from what’s important : investigating so he can keep daydreaming about his coworker.

He has to call some clients first. He does so, absent-mindedly, focused on the real problem which consists in who in the world would want to duel him, or whatever the aggressor wants to do with him.

It’s almost lunch time when he hangs up with the last client on his list, finding Seokjin engaged in a headlock with Jungkook, while Hoseok eats chappsaltteoks, grinning at them. Jimin’s focused on his screen, surely immersed in his story.

“Hoseok-ssi?” Yoongi calls him, and he turns his head, beaming at him.

“Want one?” He asks, extending his arm towards him.

“Ah.” Yoongi smiles. “Actually? Why not.” He replies, walking to Hoseok’s side and taking a chappsaltteok between his fingers.

The red bean paste is delicious, and Yoongi revels in this simple moment, but he has a mission to carry.

He pulls a chair next to him.

“Hoseok-ssi, we’ve known each other for a long time.” He starts.

“Almost as long as you’ve known Namjoon-ssi.” Hoseok proudly replies.

“We’ve been through hell and back together.”

“Yeah.”

Yoongi is counting on Hoseok’s inability to lie.

“So why would you want to beat me up?”

Hoseok’s reaction is actually hilarious.

His smile distorts itself as he frowns, looking absolutely appalled, colour leaving his face.

“Why would I want that?” He asks, looking comically shocked.

Yoongi snorts.

“Okay. So you’re not after my life.”

“No I’m not! What the fuck?” Hoseok replies indignantly

Yoongi laughs again, patting his knee.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, I believe you.”

“How did it even cross your mind?” Hoseok’s frown is getting a little better, but Yoongi still wishes he could take a picture of his face.

He squares his shoulders. This part’s less funny.

“I think someone’s after me.”

He tells him about the threats, how it comes from inside, and now, the meeting.

Hoseok bites his bottom lip, thinking.

“You’re sure these are actual threats? They seem rather harmless to me.”

Yoongi sputters.

“I am terribly allergic to these flowers, and you don’t leave fuming coffees on someone’s desk edges. Especially knowing they could’ve been spiked or something.”

Hoseok stares at him quizzically, like he knows something Yoongi’s missing.

“What?”

He shakes his head.

“Nothing. Let’s say they’re threats. What do you intend to do about them?”

Yoongi looks into the distance, meaning into the conference room where Taehyung seems to be doing some yoga.

“Fight back. If he wants a brawl, I’ll give him one.”

“And if it’s not a fight?”

“I’ll punch him right in the fucking face.”

Hoseok huffs.

“Well, good luck. Need anything?”

Yoongi puts his elbow on the desk, props his chin over his hand.

“Actually, do you have any fun cat videos for me? I need to unwind.”

“Ah.” Hoseok grins. “I saved some for you.”

When Yoongi comes back from his lunch break, he almost expects to see another taunting parcel on his chair, but there’s nothing there and he’s starting to fume, his investigation going nowhere.

He’s feeling taut.

He has no idea how to handle this.

He’s not used to being bamboozled, and it makes him very angry.

He only has Jungkook to ask left.

He corners him in the restroom, catching him dancing as he washes his hands.

“Yoongi-ssi?” Jungkook exclaims, a bit panicked, splashing some water on the mirror, when he sees Yoongi’s nervous face, his clenched fists and jaw.

“Jungkook-ssi, I’m running out of time. How would you kill someone?” He asks him.

His eyebrows shoot up and he dries his hands.

“Actually, I’d only kill my sworn enemy, because you can’t let anyone’s face haunt you for the rest of your life as you have to carry the guilt of a human’s death on your shoulders.”

Yoongi would laugh if he wasn’t so fucking stressed out.

“And who would that be?” He asks  and Jungkook grins.

“Seokjin-ssi of course.”

Yoongi deflates.

“So it wouldn’t be me?”

“Ah.” Jungkook walks towards him and rubs his arms between his hands. “Sorry, no, there’s no terrible tension between us, cornering us and forcing us to be ingenious to win over the other.”

“Are you sure you want to date Namjoon-ssi?” Yoongi squints, and Jungkook chuckles, flushing.

“A lover and a sworn enemy have similar aspects : the obsession, the desire to be the best version of yourself, you know, but, at the end of the day, I want to cuddle with Namjoon, not dramatically stake him through the heart.”

Yoongi groans.

“Okay. I don’t want to know more about Namjoon. Also, should I be concerned about your desire to kill Seokjin?”

Jungkook winks at him.

“It’s okay, we let the tension deescalate over Just Dance sessions.”

Yoongi’s confused. What the hell goes on in this office?

“Okay…?”

“But why are you asking me this?” Jungkook steps back, quizzically staring at him.

So Yoongi tells him the entire story, from start to finish, tells him about this morning’s parcel as well, and Jungkook hums, thoughtful.

“That’s very romantic.” Jungkook tells him when he’s finished, and Yoongi sighs.

“I think you have a very skewed vision on what’s romantic or not.” He replies, letting his head fall against the wall.

“My vision of romanticism is great and I’m sure Namjoon will love it once I ask him on a date.” He replies indignantly.

“Whatever rocks his boat.” Yoongi grumbles.

“But, come on, someone setting up so many things to make you think about him, and going out of his way to impress you, you have to admit it’s somewhat romantic.”

Yoongi groans.

“Why not just talk?”

“Talking isn’t impressive enough sometimes.” Jungkook tells him.

“I really don’t understand you, but you’ve given me the most valuable insight so far.”

Jungkook beams, pleased with himself.

“So, I’d have a sworn enemy without knowing it?” Yoongi asks him and Jungkook lightly punches his shoulder.

“Or a secret admirer.”

Yoongi clicks his tongue, swatting his fist away.

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Ah.” Jungkook gives him an apologetic smile. “Don’t say I didn’t try to help you.” He tells him before exiting the bathroom, leaving Yoongi alone and confused.

He follows his steps, mind buzzing, then gets to the break room, pours himself a coffee he drinks while staring outside the window.

So none of them want to kill him. Supposedly. Or one of them is an excellent liar, save for Namjoon who wouldn’t hurt a fucking fly and Hoseok who can’t lie to save his life. The others, though, Yoongi can’t be sure.

Even Jimin.

But he’d be heartbroken if he meant him any harm.

The three left would somewhat be honorable foes, in some weird way.

Maybe Jungkook’s words rubbed off on him.

How could he find this romantic? The question hangs in the air, Yoongi blinking, unable to wrap his mind around it.

What if it was romantic? He frowns ; that’d be preposterous.

He stares at some men walking up to their cars.

…

But what if ?

Yoongi shakes his head.

Who would even try to woo him with these idiotic threats?

Who would want to seduce him?

He’s good for another investigation, even if this possibility is utterly and completely ridiculous.

This is hell.

Let’s take it slowly.

It can’t be Jungkook because he’d lay down his life for Namjoon.

It can’t be Namjoon either because that would be gross.

It leaves him with Taehyung, Jimin, Seokjin and Hoseok.

It makes him roll his eyes.

It’s not Jimin for sure, they’re not in the same league ; hell, they’re not even in the same dating galaxy.

He considers it for a moment though, indulges himself, imagining kissing Jimin’s pretty and gracile neck, why not a peck on the lips? Hell. That’s too much to lose himself into. If he goes down this rabbit hole, he’ll never figure out what the hell this person wants with him.

He thinks about Hoseok’s sunny smile, his gentle demeanor, but he treats him like he treats everyone in the office. Hoseok would be the closest thing to a friend, alongside Namjoon, not really someone he’d date. He’s almost sure Hoseok feels the same way about him.

Seokjin…? Yoongi huffs. Seokjin and him talk and laugh together a lot but they have never shared skinship. That definitely would be weird.

Taehyung on the other hand loves leaning over him when they talk about current files, rubbing his back to encourage him, and always gives him some of his dessert after lunch, food he saves specially for him. Maybe the symbolic hierarchy between them helps him from voicing some feelings aloud? He’d been somewhat mysterious when Yoongi had talked to him. So, Taehyung possibly wants to do something to him tomorrow.

First and only suspect : acquired.

Someone clears his throat behind him.

He turns around.

“You okay?” Jimin asks him, and Yoongi realizes he might have looked a little dramatic, staring outside, alone, with his hands curled around his mug.

“I think I’m getting closer to the truth.” He replies and Jimin blinks, an eyebrow shooting up.

“Oh, really?” He asks, walking up to him and wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“Jungkook gave me an interesting lead.” He continues, Jimin humming. “What if it wasn’t to beat me up, but to take me on a date?” He asks.

“Oh…” Jimin replies, like it’s a sound answer. “I see. Do you have any idea who might be behind that?” 

“I think it’s Taehyung, it’s the only logical explanation.”

Jimin stays silent for a few seconds, and then he huffs.

“Yoongi-ssi.” He squeezes his shoulder. “You sure about that?”

Yoongi frowns, turning to look at Jimin. He’s close, so very close and handsome, and Yoongi wants to bask in his beauty.

“There is no one else who could remotely be interested in me here."

Jimin hums. 

"I think you don't give yourself enough credit."

Yoongi huffs.

"That's nice of you to say."

"Ah… It's true. But I have bad news for you."

He frowns.

"What do you mean?"

“He’s dating one of the sales reps from the second floor.”

Yoongi frowns.

“What? Who?”

“You know, the dude who looks like he just came out from an Armani shooting.” Jimin grins, bumping his head to Yoongi’s shoulder.

“Oh, him.” Fuck, he’s good. “Good for him, he’s really hot.”

Jimin nods.

“He is. Not my type though.”

Yoongi pushes his luck.

“What’s your type, then?”

Jimin coyly smiles at him, licking his lips.

“Oh, you know, I like a bit of a challenge.”

The other laughs.

“What’s a challenge for you, if a model-looking guy isn’t one?”

Jimin gives him a lopsided smile.

“I could eat three of this kind of man for breakfast.” He replies, satisfied and amused. And Yoongi knows he’s completely right. “But, well, I guess we’ll get to talk about our tastes in men, at some point. I know nothing about yours.” He goes, and Yoongi smiles, frozen and uneasy.

“Sure.” He sternly replies.

“So, back to square one?” Jimin asks, disentangling himself from Yoongi and leaning back against the window. The light shrouding him makes him look angel ; well, the office version of an angel.

Yoongi sighs, nodding.

“Maybe you’ll have a nice surprise.” Jimin goes on. “Or a terrible one, I guess. Who knows? It’s up to you.”

The other laughs, a little pained.

“I’m not sure getting shivved is the best surprise, so I’ll put the possibility of tomorrow night actually being good on hold.”

Jimin takes his hand in his, gentle and mischievous, and maybe Yoongi’s heart stops beating altogether. He doesn’t know anymore.

Can he find an excuse to hold it until they finish their work day?

“Yoongi-ssi. Whatever happens tomorrow night, I want you to know I’m ready to call an ambulance.”

Yoongi grins, gums showing, as he brushes his thumb over Jimin’s hand.

“That’s very nice of you. I was thinking of putting Namjoon-ssi on speed dial, but I’m reconsidering.”

Jimin grazes at his palm so very softly that Yoongi fights the urge to flutter his eyes close.

“It’s an honour.” He replies.

There’s a moment of silence.

Yoongi reminds himself that Jimin isn’t meant for mere mortals, lets himself be grateful to be this close to him.

Whenever they go out for drinks, Jimin always ends up by his side, tipsy and happy, head falling on his shoulder. 

Yoongi is always the one who calls an Uber for him, gets on the phone with him until he’s home safe, ready to slip into his pyjamas.

He likes hearing his tired voice, rough around the edges, likes imagining him pressed against his door, eyes closed, waiting for Yoongi to wish him a good night.

Jimin trusts him, and that is enough for him.

“My pleasure.” Yoongi finally replies, letting his features relax, forgetting for a moment he has a ticking clock looming above his head.

“Do you wanna get out early and go pet the cat from the convenience store?” Jimin asks him and Yoongi laughs, happy.

“I feel like this is my last meal before my sentence.”

“Don’t be so dramatic.” He replies, squeezing his hand, and Yoongi chuckles.

“Okay, let's go pet Kkoch.” He tugs Jimin towards him and Jimin stops centimeters away from his face, grinning.

“How do you even know his name?”

Yoongi shrugs, breath catching in his throat.

“I’m on good terms with the ahjumma running the place.” He replies as calmly as he can.

Jimin huffs.

“Of course you are.”

The trip to the convenience store helps him relax, Jimin stacking snacks between his arms as Yoongi small talks with the manager, Kkoch purring against his leg. 

She offers him another coffee, and, really, he’s drank so many already today, but he can’t say no to free coffee.

He kneels to pet the cat as Jimin buys his numerous snacks, the ahjumma chuckling behind the cashier’s desk.

Once he’s done and the snacks are packed in a bag, he ruffles Yoongi’s hair who grumbles and looks up, glaring.

“Let’s go. Here’s for you.” He tells him, taking a tangerine out of his bag, and Yoongi can’t keep glaring, has to give him a saccharine smile.

The day ends with no other clue on who’s after him.

Since no one seems to want to kill him, or date him, he’s left absolutely clueless.

He turns off his computer with nagging anxiety.

What if he was wrong and it was some stalker from another floor?

What if he really was going to get fucking stabbed in 24 hours?

He groans.

What did he do to deserve this?

_____________

Yoongi always starts at noon on Fridays.

When he wakes up, stretching in his bed, blindly reaching for his phone, he discovers a text from Jungkook.

Jeon Jungkook : The AC’s acting up, bring a sweatshirt with you

Yoongi huffs. Bold of him to think he doesn’t always bring one with him.

Gloss jumps on his bed and bumps his head against Yoongi’s.

“Hey there buddy.” He tells him, carrying him over his chest, Gloss patting the duvet between them. “You can feel this might be my last day on Earth too, uh?” He meows. “Don’t worry, I know someone who can take care of you.”

That’s what he has in mind when he gets into the office and closes the door behind him.

Namjoon looks away from his computer, Yoongi reading the article’s name : “Best hikes for lovers”. He winks at Namjoon who turns beet red.

“Hey?” He starts and Yoongi raises his hand, shaking his head.

“If anything happens to me.” He says. “Please take care of Gloss.”

Namjoon sighs.

“You’re not going to get beaten up to death.” He replies.

“You don’t know about that. And I prefer to be cautious.”

His colleague-who-could-be-a-really-good-friend groans.

“Fine. As long as Gloss doesn’t want to eat my plants.”

“There are barley seeds at my flat.”

“Okay. But don’t die.”

Yoongi shrugs.

“I’ll do my best.”

He walks to his desk filled with dread, greeting everyone.

There is only seven hours left.

Maybe he could elope, hitchhike to the nearest monastery and never come back to society.

He’d have to cut his credit cards, crush his phone under his heel, and say goodbye to Gloss.

Ah, he can’t leave him alone.

Another plan.

He looks around.

Hoseok is teaching Jimin the moves of a new girl group’s choreography. He stares at them for a while, smiling to himself. If he ends up at the hospital, he’s going to miss seeing his coworkers every day. They’re grinning, moving in a way that shouldn't be humanly possible.

Yoongi doesn’t want to get terribly wounded tonight.

He catches Jungkook and Seokjin playing on their mini-billiards. Surely they can help him.

He walks up to them.

“Guys?”

They look up from their binder-sized pool table.

“Yeah?” Jungkook asks, tucking his ridiculously tiny billiard cue behind his ear.

“You’ve been in fights before, right?”

Seokjin straightens up, proudly smiling.

“Of course.”

Yoongi’s now decided, he’s not going to go down without a fight.

“I want you to teach me. Today.”

Jungkook and Seokjin stare at each other and nod.

“After lunch.” Jungkook replies. “We have to finish our meeting.”

“Very important meeting.” Seokjin tells him.

“After lunch, then.” Yoongi agrees.

Seokjin and Jungkook resume their activity and Yoongi goes to sit on the chair next to Hoseok and Jimin.

“Wanna join us?” Jimin asks him, turning on himself, grinning, Hoseok singing over the song on his phone.

Yoongi smiles.

“I’m fine with just watching.”

They both make pleading faces, making him sigh.

“Fine. I’ll join.”

Turns out, it’s funnier than simmering in his own I’m-going-to-get-my-ass-beaten-up anxiety. Hoseok and Jimin are good teachers and he memorizes the moves rather quickly.

They dance for a while, until Hoseok and Jimin sandwich him, laughing at how flustered he gets, trying to swat them away.

“Ah, you should really come to our noreabang nights.” Hoseok tells him. “It’s very fun.”

“I’m pretty sure it would already be a more appropriate place than grinding on me in the middle of the office.” Yoongi grumbles, but it only makes them laugh.

“Let yourself unwind a little.” Jimin tells him, saccharine and so very tempting.

“You’re not the one with a target on your head.”

Hoseok shakes him by the shoulder.

“Fight back!”

Yoongi laughs.

“I intend to.”

Jimin winces.

“I’m sorry but you don’t look like you could destroy an opponent.”

Yoongi laughs.

“I like to believe I pack more than I look, and I have a plan.”

Jimin raises his eyebrows.

“A plan?”

Yoongi smiles to himself, Jimin and Hoseok having stopped dancing. At least, there’s that.

“If I live to see another day, I’ll tell you about it.”

On this, he escapes them, not sure he’d survive another minute of Jimin dancing against him, and goes to pour himself a coffee in the break room.

If he survives the night, he’ll go on a lunch with Jimin, just the two of them. Not too bold, but, still, a move forward.

He may not be in his league, but it’s maybe worth a shot.

Close to his possible death, he feels like he sees things more clearly, and the main thing plaguing his mind is regret, the biggest one right now being not having asked Park Jimin on a date or anything resembling one.

Lunch break comes faster than expected, but Yoongi thinks his vision of time has warped into some kind of terrible tunnel vision where minutes trickle by too quickly.

He goes out to eat alone, buying something at his favorite bibimbap place that he eats in the nearest park, watching a couple kids running after each other.

He hears someone clearing his throat behind him.

It’s Taehyung. He’s carrying a small box of choco pies.

“Can I sit? I know you normally eat alone, but you’ve been looking worried.”

Yoongi hums noncommittally.

“Sure.”

His manager hands him a sweet Yoongi accepts.

“Don’t look so gloomy, maybe things will go nicer than expected.”

The other huffs, swallowing.

“What do you know about that?”

Taehyung looks wistful, staying silent for a while.

“Life can be so interesting, surprises are plenty, and the only thing that matters is how we accept them, bounce back from whatever happens in our lives.”

“Are you saying that I should be glad if someone breaks my legs tonight?” Yoongi squints at Taehyung who’s smiling to himself.

“Why are you so set on thinking someone means you harm?”

“I can’t see another sounder explanation.”

“Ah. That's something you should work on.”

“Are you saying this as my manager?” Yoongi asks.

“Yes, but also as someone who could be your friend.” He tells him, gently smiling.

Yoongi smiles back.

Taehyung puts a hand on his thigh.

“You should come more often to our nights out. It’s not always crammed and noisy. I think everyone would love to see you more.”

Yoongi pinches his lips, looking at the children.

“Fine.” He finally answers. “It’s just…”

“Yeah?” Taehyung asks after a beat, his hand somehow a grounding presence for Yoongi.

“I don’t want to bother.”

Taehyung smiles, full and warm.

“I think you don’t realize how much people love you.”

Yoongi huffs, glancing at him.

“Maybe you’re right.”

Taehyung pats his leg.

“Think about it. Come tell me how you feel in the morning. I swear you’ll be fine.”

Yoongi nods. He doesn’t feel as anxious as he was a few minutes earlier.

“Sure.”

Taehyung hands him another choco pie and leaves him alone with his thoughts.

Maybe he’s right and, by thinking of protecting himself from deceptions he cut himself off from relationships, friendships.

He still has half-an-hour before his break ends.

He grabs his bag and goes back to the office, getting into the break room.

Five surprised pairs of eyes land on him.

“Yoongi-ssi?” Jungkook asks him, his fingers still holding a piece of cake to Namjoon’s mouth.

Yoongi must have eaten with them twice since he started working here years ago.

“Scoot over.” He tells them, and they all scramble to create some space for him.

He sits between Jimin and Seokjin, Namjoon handing him a cup of coffee.

“We were talking about how fun it would be to have a water gun fight in the summer.” Hoseok fills him in.

Yoongi sighs, smiling.

“At the park?”

“Exactly!” Jimin hits the table with his fist. “Wanna join in?” He asks, and Yoongi gives him a lopsided smile.

“You don’t stand a chance if I do.”

Seokjin becomes red.

“In your dreams. I’ll let you know I’m a deadeye.”

Yoongi snorts.

“Right.” He replies, sounding as disbelieving and taunting as he can.

“Jungkook.” Seokjin continues. “Bite him.”

Jungkook scrunches his nose.

“I’m busy.” He replies, going back to fondly whispering something to Namjoon.

“I’ll beat you up to death myself, then.” Seokjin threatens him, and it makes Yoongi grin.

“Come at me, then.”

Seokjin licks his lips, hesitating for a second.

“My lunch is sitting kinda heavily in my stomach right now. Another time.”

It makes Jimin snort, head falling against Yoongi’s shoulder.

Maybe it’s nice to be spending time with them.

“I’m glad you’re here.” Jimin tells him, gentle and soft.

Yoongi feels warm all over, tries his best not to blush in public.

“I had some free time.” He tries sounding cool about it, but his attention gets caught again by Hoseok and Jungkook debating whether tomatoes should officially be considered as fruits or vegetables.

Jimin’s head doesn’t leave his shoulder.

He tries keeping absolutely still, his skin burning where Jimin’s in contact with him.

Maybe, if he gets injured tonight, Jimin will bring him chocolate at the hospital and spread a fresh wet cloth on his burning forehead. It would be nice.

It would be even nicer to come out of this evening unscathed though.

It’s actually nice to be spending time with them.

Maybe they’re right and he should go out with them more often.

He’s even willing to overlook Jungkook and Namjoon’s grossly fond stares as they exist in their own little love bubble. If he has to be honest with himself, he’s happy for them.

The break ends and Yoongi realizes time flew by. He actually had fun with them.

His shoulders are less tense – not that hard given how stiff they were – and he follows Jungkook and Seokjin in the parking lot.

“So. You wanted to learn how to fight?” Jungkook asks him, Seokjin smoothing the palms of his hands together, weirdly bouncing on his legs like a tennis player before his serve.

Yoongi nods, licking his lips.

“It’s easy.” Seokjin starts, eyes fluttering close. “First, you need to be conscious of your own body, its strength. Stand straight and close your eyes.”

Yoongi complies.

“Feel the air flowing through your body. Being aware of yourself can only help in your endeavor.”

Seokjin guides him through what looks like some sort of meditation and relaxation routine.

Yoongi isn’t sure if it’s really helpful to fight, but it feels nice nonetheless.

After some time, Seokjin asks him to open his eyes again.

“Okay. I’m going to teach you a very strong move.” He tells him, head held high.

Yoongi nods, expectant.

And then.

Seokjin starts moving his hands terribly fast, with a determined look on his face.

When he’s done, Yoongi sighs.

“You know I haven’t been living under a rock and know what a Naruto jutsu is, right?”

Jungkook is trying not to smile next to them.

“Impressive, right?” Seokjin grins.

“Slightly concerning, I’d say.” Yoongi replies. He turns to Jungkook. “Please tell me you have actual tips for me.”

Seokjin snickers as Jungkook nods.

Jungkook is actually helpful. But fuck if it’s humbling.

He shows him different holds, moves him around like a puppet, brings him to the ground, again and again, while always being careful as to not actually hurt him.

A few employees walk past them, staring.

Yoongi tries not to hold onto the shameful feeling in his stomach.

It’s for the greater good, meaning him surviving the night.

Jungkook explains every hold, walks him through the basic motions : how to grab someone and make them fall, hit their throat to make them choke and give yourself time to either run or attack again, sensitive body parts.

When they’re done, Yoongi feels tired, but he also feels more prepared for whatever’s coming for him.

The rest of the afternoon is spent in a haze. He can’t focus on work, keeps playing with the menacing card.

Everyone leaves him alone. He feels like there’s an aura floating around him, that his worried thoughts can be felt throughout the open space.

Namjoon brings him a fresh coffee at some point, distracts him for a while. They talk and watch Seokjin and Jimin playing Jenga.

Jimin and Jungkook clock out at 6PM, like they always do on Fridays, Jimin gently putting a hand on Yoongi’s shoulder as he prepares to leave.

The contact electrifies him.

The last hour is the worst one.

He thinks of bailing but it wouldn’t solve the issue. Someone in the building is after him. Truly running away would mean quitting his job, and, as tiring as his coworkers can be, he really appreciates them.

Slowly, everyone leaves, Seokjin dropping his water gun on Yoongi’s desk “just in case”.

Yoongi is left alone in the open-space, the sound of his fingers working on the keyboard slightly echoing in the room.

Usually, he likes being the last one in the office. It leaves him some time and space to leisurely work, but, tonight, he’s jittery.

Fifteen minutes.

He spins in his chair, groaning, before standing up to pour himself one last coffee he nervously gulps down.

Now that Seokjin isn’t around, he takes the time to properly water the plants.

Five minutes.

Fuck it.

Turning off his computer, he takes his bag and sighs.

He looks around and squares his shoulders.

He grabs the fire extinguisher.

It’s 7PM.

“Let’s go.” He mutters to himself.

The corridor to the smoking area has never felt this long. He feels like he’s in a horror movie, the distance stretching as he tries getting to the door.

“Come on. You can do it.” He tries mustering some courage.

Hand on the doorknob, he closes his eyes.

Now’s the time to know who’s been threatening him for months.

He opens the door.

What the fuck.

Jimin’s standing, a hand splayed on the outdoor table. His hair’s combed back, and he looks very proud of himself.

Yoongi feels himself shaking.

“You.” He grits through his teeth, unbelieving.

“Me.” Jimin’s smile turns into a grin.

“You want to crush my skull to death.” Yoongi’s dumbfounded. He would’ve never suspected him.

Jimin huffs.

“Not quite.” He gestures around. “Why don’t you take a step forward and see for yourself?”

Yoongi frowns, complying, and realizing the smoking area doesn’t look like it usually does.

There are fairy lights all around, what looks like stolen-from-other-floors-and-very-much-alive plants arranged in the space, there are cushions on the chairs, and a lovely little tablecloth on their very forgettable wooden table.

“You’re not gonna beat me up?” Yoongi asks, disbelieving, putting the fire extinguisher down.

“Ah.” Jimin huffs, looking down. “No. Never intended to. But it was kinda funny to see you think someone would want to beat you to a pulp in some dark alley.”

“Funny?” Yoongi replies, outraged.

“Come to think of it, you almost got it right. Jungkook almost sold me out.” He’s grinning.

It makes Yoongi’s frown deepen.

“It was kind of hurtful you wouldn’t even consider me to be interested in you.”

Yoongi blinks.

“What the fuck?”

He hears snickers coming from the side and sushes.

Yoongi walks up to the sound and discovers five beaming idiots.

“I’m going to kill you.” He tells his coworkers all leaning against each other, devilishly smiling. “Get lost.”

He must look really mad because they actually scamper away.

When he turns around to look at Jimin, he’s gently smiling at him.

“They all knew?” He asks, seething.

Jimin laughs.

“Everyone but Hoseok until fifteen minutes ago.”

“Because he can’t lie.”

Jimin nods. 

Yoongi can’t process the situation. He sits down, and Jimin follows the movement.

“Even Namjoon-ssi?”

Jimin huffs.

“Even him.”

“He’s dead to me.” Yoongi groans, rubbing his hands on his face while Jimin laughs.

“So…” He looks up from behind his fingers. “This is a date?” He asks, disbelieving, while Jimin leans on his hand, humming. “As in, you’re interested in me?” Jimin hums again, mirth in his eyes.

He takes food and drinks out from a cool box.

“I figured you would like something in a setting you already knew.”

Yoongi raises a finger, blinking.

“No, no. Let’s dwell a little on this. You, Park Jimin, asked me out on a date.”

Jimin laughs, bangs falling over his eyes.

“Is it really that surprising?” He asks.

“Yes.” Yoongi laughs too. “Yes, it really is.”

“How so?” Jimin asks, biting his bottom lip, playful.

“You’re some kind of angel sent to earth while I’m…” He gestures vaguely. “Some coffee gremlin.”

Jimin grins, head tucked to the side.

“A very lovely one, then.”

Yoongi feels himself blush.

Ah. Wow. Okay. So he’s allowed to flirt with him for real.

He thinks he’s starting to process the situation.

“So you were the one who’s been threatening me for months.”

Jimin sputters indignantly.

“You wound me! I brought you amazing coffee from this small coffee roaster place I know and you never even tasted it! And you binned these lovely flowers I bought you!”

“I’m allergic to them!”

“I didn’t know!”

They both laugh, heads falling down.

“Why did you fucking put so much glitter in that envelope?” Yoongi asks him and Jimin licks his lips, looking away.

“I thought it was a nice touch… I didn’t really think it would explode everywhere.”

Yoongi laughs.

“The trouble you went through to do this.”

Jimin mimics him, and he looks so happy, it makes Yoongi feel all fuzzy.

“You’re actually interested in me..?” Yoongi asks ; he has to.

“I thought I’d made myself clear for all these months.”

Yoongi sighs.

“You aren’t exactly…” He sighs and Jimin frowns.

“Your type?” He asks, and Yoongi nervously shakes his hand in front of him.

“No, no. Quite the opposite. It’s more like putting a beautiful doe next to a possum, you know?”

Jimin puts his hand on Yoongi’s arm.

“As much as I am endeared by possums, I think you don’t give yourself enough credit.”

Yoongi huffs, looking up, eyes meeting Jimin’s.

He’s so ethereal. It’s unfair.

“Remember when we met?” Jimin asks, and Yoongi nods.

“Rummaging through the trash.”

Jimin laughs, thumb brushing over his skin.

“I spent the entire time thinking if I could ask you out on a drink or something.”

Yoongi grins.

“Me too.”

“And then you ran away.”

Yoongi shrugs.

“I don’t really do well with celestial beings.”

Jimin amusedly sighs.

“You know I’m just like you, right?” He asks, and Yoongi blinks in confusion.

“How so?”

“Human.” Jimin retracts his hand and opens a couple beers, putting some oi muchim in his mouth.

Yoongi huffs, drinking.

“I may be biased.” 

Jimin nods.

“Can I assume you’re interested in me as well, then?”

Yoongi laughs, shaking his head.

“Debilitatingly so. But I thought we were simply friendly flirting, you know. After all, you tend to be more socially at ease than me.”

Jimin hums.

“I was too shy to actually initiate something serious.”

Yoongi stares at him disbelievingly.

“You? Shy?”

It makes Jimin grin.

“This kind of thing happens when I really want to kiss someone.”

Yoongi pinches his lips, holding back a grin. He wants to kiss him.

“Right.”

“Yeah?”

They both grin.

Yoongi reaches for Jimin's face, tracing the line of his cheekbone, to his jaw, with the back of a finger.

“As much as the feeling’s clearly more than mutual, I have some things to say.”

Jimin hums, eyes fluttering close.

“How could you let me simmer in my own anxiety for a full week?” Yoongi asks him, amused and slightly mad.

The other laughs.

“It was kinda fun to see you interrogate everyone.”

“Yeah?”

Jimin laughs, drinking.

“I can’t believe you all let me be miserable for so long.”

“I would’ve broken their knees if they’d said anything.”

“I learned jutsus to fight you. Do you realize?”

Jimin snorts.

“Show me.”

Yoongi laughs, but shows him anyway, Jimin applauding his ninja skills.

“And Jungkook showed me moves too.”

He stands up and Jimin follows his movement.

He closes the distance between them and sweeps Jimin off his feet, holding him as Jimin starts to fall.

It makes him laugh, and Yoongi can’t help but grin.

They’re close, and Yoongi revels in the fact that he can let himself enjoy it.

“Is this the part where you kiss me?” Jimin asks him with a lopsided smile.

“Ah. You wish.” Yoongi tells him, cheeky, and kisses his cheek instead.

When he pulls back, Jimin looks happy, and slightly flushed.

“Is this payback?” He asks, and Yoongi shrugs.

“I’ll let you make up for an entire week leading me to a probable ulcer.”

Yoongi craves for his touch, has been dreaming of his lips for months, but he can also be very petty.

Jimin has prepared a whole banchan, placing the appetizers on the table, and they eat them while drinking multiple beers.

It’s nice to see Jimin outside of work. He should’ve gone out with his coworkers more often.

“As much as I like the care you took in actually setting this date in a place I feel comfortable in, would you like going somewhere another time?” Yoongi asks him, foot brushing Jimin’s ankles.

Jimin smiles sweetly.

“Another time?” He asks.

“Do I need to confess my terribly incapacitating feelings for you?”

Jimin hums, his smile feline.

“I’ll wait for you to be tipsy enough that I won’t have to coax it out of you.”

“You’re a menace.” Yoongi tells him, and it makes him laugh.

“I know. But, yeah. Let’s go somewhere next time.”

“I should take you to terrible places to make up for this week’s anxiety.”

“I’d still love it because I’d be with you.”

Yoongi huffs, hiding his flush by drinking some more.

“Don’t try to sweet talk yourself out of this.”

Jimin winks.

“Seems to be working, though.”

“You’re terrible.”

“You love it.”

Yoongi huffs, tries not replying for a while, but, in the end, he cannot lie to him.

“Yeah, I do.”

“What must I do to earn a kiss from my prince?” Jimin asks him, dramatically putting a hand on his forehead, pretending he’s fainting.

“I don’t know. I’ll see when my desire to kick your ass gets overpowered by the curiosity of learning how you feel against me.”

Jimin bites his bottom lip. He’s blushing. It’s a good look on him.

“You know, now that I’m not blinded by my impending death, your whole setup was kind of cute.” Yoongi concedes, taking Jimin’s hand in his.

“Right?” Jimin replies, intertwining their fingers together.

Yoongi was right, Jimin’s small fingers look absolutely lovely laced with his.

“But you could’ve asked me out on a date like a normal person.” Yoongi adds.

Jimin laughs.

“Where’s the fun in that? Plus, you’d have thought I was asking in a friendly way, wouldn’t you?”

Yoongi shrugs.

“Maybe.”

“And it was nice to have your full attention for a while.”

“You didn’t need this to make me think of you. You’re very distracting.”

“You know, it came in handy that you always eat alone.”

“How so?”

“I always talk about you. Everyone’s fed up with me.”

“More than they are about Jungkook and Namjoon tiptoeing around each other?” Yoongi asks, amused.

It makes Jimin laugh.

“I think we’re a strong opponent next to them.”

“Which means we have to win at who gets the best office romance.” Yoongi states matter-of-factly.

“Exactly.” And Jimin looks determined. That’s exactly why Yoongi likes him so much.

“We’re going to make them eat dust.”

“I’m bringing you a dried flower bouquet on Monday.” Jimin leans forward.

“And I’m cooking lunch for the both of us.” Yoongi mimics him.

They’re grinning.

“The competition is pretty serious, though.” Yoongi tells him. “Namjoon plans on taking him on a hike.”

Jimin hums.

“Guess I’ll have to book us a weekend on Jeju island then.”

Yoongi laughs.

“That’s maybe cutting the corners, isn’t it?”

“I haven’t been pining since I’ve arrived for you to tell me I should wait another indefinite period of time.” Jimin replies indignantly. 

Yoongi grins.

“Jeju island it is, then.” 

And he closes the space between them, softly kissing him.

Jimin grins into the kiss, his hand finding his nape, pressing him closer.

His lips are soft. Yoongi feels his soul leaving his body, offering it to him, as Jimin kisses him sweet and eager.

He’s a good kisser, confident and attentive. It feels more like a dance than just lips being pressed against each other.

They have to stop kissing once in a while, smiling too widely.

It’s exhilarating, and Yoongi can’t stop kissing him, a hand fisted around his shirt, bringing him closer.

The position isn’t really comfortable, the both of them leaning over the table, trying not to dip their clothes into the food, but they don’t care, lost in the feeling of finally being able to be close to each other.

When Jimin finally breaks the kiss, he’s flushed, eyes gleaming, and he looks overjoyed.

“You’re a good kisser.” He tells him, and Yoongi leans back in his chair, pleased and happy.

“This is only a foretaste of my abilities.” He gives him a lopsided smile.

Jimin huffs, and he looks absolutely lovely.

“Can’t wait to witness them, then.”

“Want to come to my place, eat some takeout and meet Gloss, and we can let you experience them?”

Jimin raises an eyebrow.

“Your place?”

Yoongi laughs.

“Don’t expect anything. After this week, if I live through any other extreme emotion, I think I’ll die.”

Jimin laughs.

“Cat cuddles and making out. Seems like the perfect evening to me.”

Yoongi grins, gums showing.

“If Gloss hates you, I’ll have to reconsider this entire relationship.”

Jimin grins as well.

“Good thing animals love me.”

Yoongi’s feeling so happy, light and euphoric.

“I think it’s scientifically impossible to dislike you.”

“Save it for our wedding vows.” Jimin finishes his drink, and Yoongi laughs.

“I’ll only accept a fall wedding and my cat as the ring bearer.”

Jimin huffs, nodding.

“Of course. Seems obvious.”

Yoongi finishes his beer.

“Let’s go?” He asks, and Jimin beams at him.

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

Yoongi stands up and extends a hand. Jimin takes it.

“You know I’ll tell everyone you wanted to murder me?” Yoongi asks him, leaning in to kiss his neck, Jimin’s eyes fluttering close.

“That’s a very solid foundation for a relationship.” Jimin replies, catching Yoongi’s lips, tantalizing and sweet at the same.

“Hello, mom, the man I’m bringing home threatened me in order to date me.”

Jimin bumps their shoulders together as they walk away.

“Seems like what an ideal son-in-law sounds like.”

Yoongi laughs.

“You’re insufferable.”

“Would you have it any other way?”

“Hell no.”

Jimin gently squeezes his hand.

“I really like you.” He tells him, soft and low.

Yoongi hums, smiling to himself.

“Yeah. Me too. Let’s go home so you can stab me with a chopstick.”

“I may have an ice pick in my cooler.”

“Ah, it leaves no trace. You are brilliant and handsome. I’m really glad you’re the one who’s going to kill me.”

“Before that, let’s kiss a little more.” Jimin leans his head against Yoongi’s shoulder.

“Sounds like a good plan.” Yoongi grins, kissing the top of his head.

It only takes a couple weeks for Namjoon, Yoongi, Jungkook and Jimin to be banned from holding their Office Romance Contest in the building, Taehyung menacing them to assign them their worst files if they keep insisting on doing piggyback races in the parking lot and poetic declamations standing on their desks – Yoongi doesn’t climb on his desk, he simply stands up, it’s already enough to be publicly waxing poetic about Jimin –.

They move it to the smoking area, and their colleagues have crafted handmade scorecards. So far, they all refuse to state who between them four actually have the nicest romance, mainly because they enjoy these confrontations too much.

Yoongi doesn’t really mind expressing his affection because he loves the smiles Jimin gives him every time he does something dramatic to earn them more points.

In fact, he really likes it.

But he likes spending time with him outside of work even more and realizes that, maybe, he’s worthy of someone as incredible as Jimin.

He basks in this happiness.

Wednesdays don’t feel so bad anymore.