Chapter Text
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That horrid incubus which dwelt in darkness, shunning the light with all its racks and poison chalices and foul sleeping draughts, is passing away without return. - Thomas Carlyle
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At forty-seven minutes past midnight He Tian and Mo were sitting in the back of a Jaguar XE. The sleek-designed car full of rounded edges was his brother’s, He Cheng, and it handled gloriously in times of need such as these. Now, the car was driving across the bridge that linked Ning’an - the Chinese village, with Ning’an - the highway. The cameras had picked it up, despite the rain and the poor visibility. Driving with what looked like suspiciously deliberate care, the driver turned left at the roundabout to join the road that curved around the service station.
From there, it headed for Duyquan, across the second bridge above the motorway. There was a tricky intersection at that specific point where traffic usually coming off the motorway slip road crossed traffic coming from across the bridge. In this area, most accidents happened even if the zone was controlled by traffic lights to prevent exactly that. Though, not that night.
He Tian and Mo were still on the road, with Mo becoming increasingly nervous and edgy. They had left behind a car accident, a motorbike and a tiny Honda. The impact catapulted the biker onto the grassy verge, hauling him past the crash barrier where he stopped, but only after rolling thoroughly through the mud, breaking more than a few bones and limbs. The Honda, travelling at nearly twice the speed, had spun several times in the wet conditions before rolling over and tumbling to crash into the line of trees further along the road.
That is what Mo had at least imagined happened as the headlights of their car illuminated the accident site. Then it turned, as dictated by the police officers at the scene, signalling their driver to move along. Biting his lower lip, Mo shifted in his seat, looking out of the back window. He could feel He Tian clinging to his jacket, lightly pulling him back, but Mo remained focused on the police cars at the scene a little longer. The unexpected event had made him think about something else for once during that evening.
He didn’t know what to expect at this point anymore, Tian had always had annoying whims, doing what he wanted when he wanted to, but usually, with those antics came more joy and definitely mischievousness, at least. Now he was sitting next to him in the back seat, glued to his side, head, leaned against Mo’s shoulder, not saying a word. All he was doing was holding his hand and each time Mo was asking something, Tian would answer the same thing: ‘Please, trust me.’
But this was rather concerning, driving outside town to an unknown location out of the blue was unusual. If Tian was planning a prank, Mo would have already seen a hint of his impishness by now. But Tian looked sad almost as though he was holding back tears. Turning back and making himself comfortable again, Mo glanced at Tian; he had not even raised his head to look outside when they drove past the accident scene.
Trying to take his hand away, Mo made a small sound when Tian squeezed it harder instead, refusing to let him go, pulling him against him as though to make it clear that he was not going to have it any other way. Sighing uncomfortably, Mo swallowed hard, his eyes on Tian. He pursed his lips a little, eyes on their clasped hands again. He waited until he felt the hold softening, then suddenly pulled, trying to remove his hand from Tian’s. The reaction he got instead left him rather speechless. It was as though he had taken the food away from a famished, abandoned puppy, like a beast Tian just swiftly turned, grabbing his arm and pulling him back, a desperate look in his eyes.
That is when Mo had finally lost his patience. “You’ll need to tell me what the fuck is going on,” he suddenly said, having enough of looking at that uncharacteristically depressed expression and having to deal with the same kind of reactions.
Without a word, Tian just shook his head, rubbing his cheek against Mo’s shoulder. “Just don’t pull away from me, please,” Tian insisted, sighing with a shuddering breath. "I really need you right now, and I need you to trust me...," he said quietly.
Clearing his throat, Mo’s sighed, his nostrils flaring lightly. He was angry, but at the same time, the worry he felt in that moment surpassed any limit he thought he could handle. “I am trying here, Tian," he sighed, "but you need to realise that while I am somehow used to yours and your family’s antics, this is mildly concerning… to say the least…,” he quickly added.
Making a pained, little sound, Tian sighed but refused to look at him, “I can understand your concern,” he said and sniffed.
“Then you can also understand I need an answer,” Mo insisted.
“I know, but…,” Tian started, swallowed hard and finally looked at him, “nothing bad is going to happen to you, I promise, you just need you to trust me…,” Tian managed, repeating the same old thing.
“Nothing bad?” Mo’s eyes grew larger, “what is that even supposed to mean?” he tried to wriggle away from Tian. “Why would you even say that?” he asked and suddenly felt alarmed. A thousand scenarios ran through his head in mere seconds, and he turned to face Tian, “What about you?” he said and frowned. “Is something bad going to happen to you? Are you in danger?”
He got no answer, just the same sad eyes he had gazed at the entire night since they started that car ride. “We…,” Mo heard himself say, “we can run away together if that’s the case…,” he went on, his heart suddenly hammering in his chest. "Can we?" he blinked at his own words, "what the fuck am I saying?" Mo shook his head, looking away, talking to himself now.
But it was only then when Tian finally reacted. He straightened up a little as though something had possessed him, but a moment later, he simply drew in a deep breath and gave Mo a sad smile, “I’m rather happy to hear you would say that,” he nodded, “but no, we cannot run away,” he added and leaned in, kissing Mo’s cheek. "Makes me happy to hear you would do that for me," Tian said fondly, lowering his eyes for a moment.
“That doesn’t answer my question…,” Mo pointed out, his jaws painfully clenching.
“I know, and I honestly cannot give you more than I’ve already done…,” Tian insisted.
Mo was about to protest again, but suddenly the car stopped and he heard the driver’s voice.
“We’re here, sir…,” he said without turning to face them, and Tian suddenly looked even more dejected than he had been up until that moment. He hesitated, just looking outside the window of the car, but apparently, the driver was in a hurry. “Sir,” the driver insisted, his tone flat and cold now, so Tian gave up and finally opened the door on his side, stepping out of the car, one arm stretching behind him, holding Mo’s hands in his.
Shifting on the backseat after Tian, Mo briefly glanced at the driver but then blinked startled, feeling like his heart had stopped for a moment. Fear, he felt fear, but it was different from anything he had experienced before. It was a horrible, oppressive feeling as though it materialised into something that was now sickly crawling under his skin. He thought he saw a reflection in the rearview mirror, but that could have been impossible, because the face he saw was dark and charred, mutilated and scarred, two hollow eyes staring back at him. It made him shiver, and his stomach churned, momentarily freezing him on the spot. Then a nauseating feeling made him gag, a pungent odour of sulphur making him turn his head and hide his nose in the nook of his elbow.
“What the hell?” he muttered but was suddenly pulled out of the car so briskly that he almost fell. Clear, cold night air washed over him, and Mo let out a breather, feeling almost dizzy for a moment. Then the odd sensation disappeared just as it came, and his blurry mind became clear. He briefly looked towards the car, blinked confused then looked at Tian. “That was weird…,” he said, shaking his head as though he wanted to make a bad thought go away.
“What’s weird?” Tian asked his eyes on Mo.
“I-I thought I saw…,” Mo started, pointing towards the driver's seat, then squinted, but somehow the memory of what he had seen was not there. “Nothing…,” he said with a sigh, shaking his head once more. "Odd...," he repeated to himself.
Closely observing him, Tian slowly nodded, then leaned in, exchanging a cold look with the driver as though to let him know he was not pleased at all. When the driver averted his eyes and lowered his head, Tian straightened up, then started walking away from the car, pulling Mo after him. “It’s okay,” he said, and when he turned to look at Mo, he was smiling. “You’ll be fine…,” he reassured him.
“Why would I not be fine?” Mo asked, that odd feeling he had had in the car and the restlessness creeping up on him again.
He got no answer, though, so he started looking around. The car was parked on the side of the highway on the emergency strip, but otherwise, they were left in the middle of nowhere. On each side of the road, after a couple of metres of green, tall grass and sparsely placed bushes rose a forest. Thin and thick trees, with straight, dark trunks, hovered high above their heads and Mo and Tian were heading deeper and deeper inside.
“Where exactly are we going?” Mo asked, his jaws clenching, “and please don’t tell me to just trust you…,” he quickly added.
Keeping silent, Tian briefly stopped walking. He looked around, and as though he had made a decision, he finally nodded to himself. Following his eyes, Mo glanced around them as well, only to realise they had walked quite far into the woods already, even if they had left the car behind just moments ago. "What the hell is going on?" he muttered, but his thoughts were interrupted by Tian’s voice. He turned his head and looked at him as though he was waiting for an explanation.
“Mo, I will have to go soon…,” Tian suddenly said, his eyes on him. He reached up and cupped his cheeks in his hands, forcing him to look at him.
“Go? Go where?” Mo squinted a little confused, trying to look around them as though to tell Tian that this was definitely not the sort of joke he appreciated or wanted to continue. “I feel like I’m about to be sacrificed to some ancient god…," Mo grumbled. "Why are we even here?”
Smiling sadly, Tian briefly covered Mo’s mouth with his hand, “I’ll make sure no ancient god or otherwise lays their filthy hands on you…,” he smiled wider, but the sadness was laced in his features. "You're mine...," Tian added.
"What?" Mo turned his head and eyed Tian, his voice briefly muffled by his hand.
Remaining silent, Tian exhaled with a shuddering breath. How much he wanted to just make that pain they both felt go away, but there was no other way to keep Mo safe. The world went silent for a bit, then Mo's voice slowly pulled him out of his reverie and he swallowed hard.
“You’re not making any sense,” Mo said, trying to shake his head, “what do you mean? And where are you going?” he started rambling, reaching out as well, his fingers curling into Tian’s white t-shirt.
Briefly lowering his eyes as he kept holding the side of Mo’s face in his hands, Tian sighed, “Please Mo… just promise you’ll wait for me…,” he sniffed, quickly clearing his throat before looking back up at him, “I need you to say it.”
Taken aback, Mo suddenly stopped talking, frowned even more but could not come up with an insult that could match the level of anger he felt. He had seen Tian in distress but never like this. If Tian was right about leaving, Mo didn’t feel like risking an argument, letting things unclear in such a moment, not when Tian looked and acted like that. He slowly started to nod, repeatedly - mostly making peace with himself - an odd feeling of dread growing in the pits of his stomach. “Okay, okay, already…,” he gave up. “I’ll wait…,” he nodded once more and sighed. “Just…,” he paused for a moment, “just come back, okay?”
Smiling relieved, Tian instantly leaned his forehead against Mo’s, suddenly feeling calmer, if not more at peace. A sudden chill washed over both of them, and he felt Mo grab his wrists as he shuddered. Then a voice rang in Tian’s ears, cold and hollow, lifeless and hateful: ‘It’s time’, it said, but Tian didn’t turn around, simply holding Mo against him as though he was protecting him from something or someone.
“Who--” Mo said, trying to move. He titled his head to the side, wanting to look over Tian’s shoulder. “Did you hear that?” he added as his eyes met Tian's.
“Hear what?” Tian said, pushing his head back, once more forcing him to look at him. "Focus here," he said in a soft, reassuring voice and as though hypnotised, Mo kept his eyes on Tian.
“I just thought I heard a voice,” Mo said. But suddenly, the hood of his jacket was pulled over his eyes, obscuring his vision. He felt Tian’s hands grabbing him tighter, pulling him closer, then his lips pressed hard against his. Mo was stunned — at himself mostly; he knew those lips so well, yet now he shivered at the sensation that shook his consciousness, at the enticing flavour of Tian’s lips.
He found himself longing for them as they kissed as though they had already parted, and this was a mere memory of long lost touches. It took a split second to give into them again, surrendering to the downward force pulling him under. His hands were limp on Tian’s chest, and he felt lightheaded again. Tilting his head slowly, he touched his lips to his for the second time, very carefully, parting them slightly.
Warmth washed over him, and their tongues collided, brushing lightly, savouring the texture and taste of his lips on his own, the way their tongues echoed their bodies’ embrace. Mo found he could not breathe, or it felt that way as the heaviness in his chest intensified, but instead of the euphoric sensation, the trickling heat, he felt an overwhelming sadness; this was a goodbye kiss after all.
They broke away and felt Tian’s arms gingerly wrap around the back of his head, “Don’t forget me…,” he whispered, but when Mo wanted to look up, Tian pushed his head back down. “I’m ready…,” Tian said, and a flash of light suddenly burned bright a few steps away from him.
Though Mo heard no words, but bizarre, contorted noises as though the wind was blowing in his ears, bringing with it distant echoes and eerie screams. There was silence, and then a dark shadow rose from the woods, a nightmarish silhouette, eternal and malignant. It had no shape, but thorny edges, a gargantuan serpentine seething with hate, baleful and soulless. It looked and felt like a void, gnawing at everything alive around it, savage and terrible, like a horned god of forgotten aeons.
“Father…,” Tian said flatly and just scowled at the apparition, glaring annoyed at it.
Wincing annoyed, Mo tried to move away, but Tian’s grip was stronger than he had expected, stronger than usual. He heard a sound, like a rumble of distant thunder, then his limbs felt heavier and somehow numb. An overwhelming feeling of loss washed over him and it intensified so much that he recoiled in pain. But as he tried to move away the nauseating sensation he had experienced earlier in the car returned threefold. It was even worse now, Mo’s knees going weak and his body trembling. He doubled over, his hands pressing hard on his stomach, heaving, as though he was ready to vomit, a cold shudder running down his spine, making him shiver with cold sweats.
Then suddenly, everything was gone as though it had never happened, the sounds, nausea, the unbearable sadness, and he realised that Tian was not holding him anymore. Confused, Mo straightening up, breathing in deeply as he pulled the hoodie down; he was alone. Heart thundering in his chest, lips parted, he took a step forward but didn't even know in what direction.
“Tian?” he whispered, but no one answered. He remained still, eyes unfocused as it finally dawned on him; Tian was gone. His jaws clenched, stomach roiling, a prickling, uncomfortable sensation making his skin react. Trying to calm down, to make sense of everything that was going on, he drew in a deep breath, nodding to himself. Though, moments later, anger washed over him, the echo of a thousand broken promises making him shudder. But just as the rage clawed at his heart, Mo felt like his lips still burnt with that last kiss, and the noise in his head, his scrambled, furious thoughts went silent.
As though he was defeated or finally understanding his predicament, Mo lowered his eyes and nodded to himself once more, exhaling deeply. “I’ll wait then…,” he whispered, but when he turned around, the driver was there, coldly observing him.
“Home?” the man asked, his voice eerily echoing in Mo’s ears.
Swallowing hard as though the memory of his disturbing appearance had now returned, Mo simply nodded, “Home…,” he said and left only with Tian’s lingering scent and touch, he followed the driver back to the car.