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You’re so, so tired.
Every day drags on, and it's a whirlwind at the same time.
It’s been one year since you were whisked off to the Devildom, and one year since your life went completely off the rails that you’d so carefully laid out. Actually, it’s been a year and nine days- the actual anniversary date was full of celebration, so there wasn’t any time to wallow then. But now, it feels easier to remember just how out of control things have gotten.
Of course, it’s not like you’re unhappy. You’ve found lots of things to enjoy, you’ve made a comfortably close group of friends, you’ve even picked up some new hobbies along the way. Baking with Luke, practicing magic with Solomon, playing video games with Levi… So on and so forth. You have almost as many new skills as you have new friends. Genuinely, you love the way your life has panned out.
Even still, sometimes it’s hard not to wonder what your life would be like if you weren’t carted off down here. Maybe you’d have gotten a career or something.
Admittedly, that doesn’t even sound appealing anymore. You can’t get a good picture in your mind of what a better future would look like. That doesn’t stop you from wondering. And you’re also curious about how far this whole thing will go, you suppose… Can you really see yourself living down here until you die? Will you die, given the fact that your magic is getting stronger? You know fully well that humans can live far, far longer than average, as long as they can use the right spells.
The idea of living forever fills you with unease. It’s not exactly dread. Just a hum of mild trepidation, you suppose. Dying is scary, but… It’s assured, at the very least. So the thought of immortality makes you nervous. You’re not sure you can handle those concepts right now. The way your brain spirals is almost impressive when you’re faced with existentialism, and you’re already exhausted as it stands. No need to make things worse for yourself.
You roll over, pressing your face into the pillows of the bed that you’ve come to accept as your own.
It’s so easy to get lost in your worries.
But you’re startled out of your thoughts when a knock sounds at your door. Oh? Most of the brothers wouldn’t knock, ever, under any circumstances. So you immediately puzzle out that it’s Satan. Why, though?
Things have been a bit awkward between you two lately. Not in a bad way, just… Neither of you have ever had much of a crush on anyone before. And while you’re obviously infatuated with each other, you’re both… Clumsy. Not physically. Rather, with your emotions. You’ve never been great at expressing yourself, finding it much easier to swirl your abstract emotions in your head rather than trying to force them into tangible words, and you’re pretty sure Satan is the same way.
“May I come in?”
“Oh.” You roll onto your side and pull the blankets with you. You’d almost forgotten that he’d knocked in the first place. “Yeah, the door’s unlocked!”
The lock is a formality, anyway. All of the brothers have a key to the room, and if they didn’t, they’d just blow the door off its hinges.
Satan enters the room, clicking the door shut gently once he’s inside. His eyes immediately find yours, and a small smile graces his face.
“I came to check on you. No need to look so worried.”
“I’m not worried. Just a little tired, that’s all, and I wasn’t exactly ready for company. That’s pretty obvious, right?” You force a short laugh. You think it comes out far less genuine than you were hoping for, and the flicker of confusion on Satan’s face just confirms that theory.
“I get it. If you haven’t been sleeping properly, I’m sure we can find a way to fix that. I can ask Solomon if he has any tricks for humans to fall asleep easier,” he offers. He’s always so thoughtful, it melts your heart a little bit.
“It’s not that kind of tired, y’know? But… I’m happy you’re here,” you reply simply.
“I’m glad I can be of some comfort, then. It makes me feel better, knowing that my visit is mutually beneficial.”
Satan sits down on the edge of the bed, and you raise an eyebrow.
“Mutually beneficial, huh? So you came here to escape Lucifer?”
“No, that’s not it.”
“Then how are you benefiting from hiding out in here?” You press.
Satan blushes a bit. It’s faint, but you’re well trained in reading his facial expressions, and you can see it from a mile away.
“The benefit is getting to be with you.” He winces a bit as he speaks, but he doesn’t try to take it back.
It kind of sounds like he’s been practicing what to say, now that you think about it. You’ve never exactly known him to be smooth. Sure, he’s sharp and quick-witted, but he’s also kind of a dork. He’s not excellent at flirty banter, he flusters too easily. Even if he’d hate to hear that… It’s definitely true.
You smile and roll your eyes. “Cheesy.”
“Yeah? I thought that might be a little too much.” He shakes his head and lets out a sigh, followed by a quiet chuckle.
“Mm, nah. It was sweet. I like being with you too, so I’m glad you’re here.”
“It’s a relief to hear you say that. Oh! I brought some books for you to read…”
He pulls up a tote bag that he’d set down on the floor earlier. You didn’t notice it before, so the sight briefly confuses you, but you get there eventually. He pulls out a few books and sets them on the bed beside you.
“I just picked out a few things that I thought you might like. Since you finished The Devotion of Mister Devil, I thought that the author’s other works would make for a nice read. Though I do wonder if something more light-hearted would be better… Um, if you’re not in the mood for more mystery novels, don’t be shy in saying so. I’d rather give you books that you’ll enjoy fully.” He scratches the back of his neck. It’s a simple gesture, but it makes your stomach turn cartwheels. God, he’s cute.
“No, these are perfect. I’m excited to get into them.” You assure him without a second thought. You know Satan has a great taste in books, so you genuinely are excited, but… More than that, you’re just happy he was thinking of you.
“I’m glad to hear that,” he murmurs.
It’s quiet for a beat while you flip through one of the books to check the page count. Satan watches with a little smile, but it fades quickly, replaced by a twitch of worry and hesitation. When you look up, his emotions are still warring across his face.
You raise an eyebrow, which makes him chuckle. The tenseness in his jaw seems to ease a bit, which makes you feel better.
“You’re making a face, you know,” you say, a worried hum escaping you afterwards.
“I am?”
You don’t think much about your next action. You sit up against the pillows and cup his face in both your hands, inspecting him with a close eye. A faint blush dusts his cheeks, but he glances away as soon as your eyes meet.
“Yeah, definitely. What’s the matter, huh?” You ask in a gentle voice.
“Well… Truth be told, we’ve been worried- I’ve been worried- about you. You’ve been holing yourself up in here for days. At first I thought that you were engrossed in a novel or something, which I would understand… But it’s more than that, isn’t it?”
A little frown settles on your face as you drop your hands away from his cheeks.
“That obvious?” You ask dryly.
To your surprise, Satan catches one of your wrists in his hands. He slips his hand into yours, lacing your fingers together, and then he gives what he thinks is a reassuring smile, but it comes off as a concerned grimace. You can’t help but laugh a little.
“Yes, that obvious. So can we talk about it?” He asks in return.
“About what?”
“Whatever is bothering you.”
You squeeze his hand, shrugging your shoulders dismissively, but something in the gentle tone he’s using makes you want to spill your guts. He’s always so measured, and you can usually feel his wrath bubbling underneath the surface of that polite smile… But you don’t have any sense of that now. He seems truly worried. Really, how could you not tell him?
“Uh… It’s hard to explain. It’s not like I’m unhappy here, you know? It’s just… Uh…” You try to find the right words.
He waits patiently. You notice that he’s rubbing circles on your hand with his thumb, which is grounding enough that you get another few sentences out.
“I guess I’m just a little down. It’s still hard to wrap my head around all this sometimes. I’ve been having so much fun, but… Well, when it gets quiet, I feel so overwhelmed. So uncertain. I don’t have a clue what comes next, and that kind of scares me? It feels like every day is so long, and yet it’s all passing me by so fast.”
Satan is quiet, a strange expression settling onto his face.
“I mean-” you start to apologize, worried that you’ve made him upset.
He cuts you off by leaning down and pressing a kiss to your forehead. Then he settles down next to you in your bed, at a respectful distance- just in case.
“Don’t even start apologizing, it’s nothing to be sorry for.”
“Oh,” you squeak out in an embarrassingly high voice. You’re kind of short circuiting.
“I was just thinking,” he continues, “about what I can do to help. And I’ve decided. Clear your schedule tomorrow, alright?”
“Um, sure. Why?”
“I think we should take a day off. Together, I mean. Like a self-care day, to help you feel better. Would you be interested? We could go to that cat cafe, then maybe the bookstore… Or we can just stay in bed like this. Either way, I don’t want to let you out of my sight.”
“What? Hey, hey, I’m alright! You really don’t need to worry. I’ll be okay, even if I’m not being supervised,” you assure.
“It’s not about supervising you, though. I know you’re perfectly capable of being on your own. It’s more like… I don’t want you to have to be alone now. I want to stay with you because… Ah. Because I care about you.” He clears his throat awkwardly.
You notice that he’s blushing much more now. It melts your heart a little, so you roll over to be closer to his side, smushing your face against his chest. This new position means you can’t see the bright red of his face anymore, but you can imagine it.
“Alright, then yeah, I think that sounds nice. Like a date?” You try to clarify.
“Date? Um… Yes, like a date.”
You can hear a little hitch in his breath before he says that. God, he’s endearing.
“Good. Will you stay here tonight?”
“Mm. I did say I don’t want you out of my sight, remember?”
You tilt your head up to look at him, only to find him avoiding your eyes. You don’t mind, though. He doesn’t need to make eye contact all the time. You get the feeling that he’s just flustered. Actually, it makes you smile when you realize how blushy he looks. Might as well seal the deal, so to speak!
“Hey, Satan?” You ask.
“What’s up?”
“Can I kiss you?
Satan squeezes your hand and nods.
So you lean in and press a soft kiss to his lips. You feel him smile against you.
It takes a little bit for you to ease off him, and by the time you do, you’re both a touch winded.
“That was nice,” he decides.
“Yeah, no joke.”
“Hey, ah… About what you said earlier. How you’re uncertain, and it’s overwhelming for you. I just want to say that while I do understand, I also think that you don’t need to worry anymore. After all, we’ll be together. We’ll just take it one day at a time. We can count the days one by one, until you aren’t afraid of the future anymore. And no matter what, I’ll protect you. I promise.”
He opens his arms for you, and you immediately cuddle up to him.
“Thank you, Satan. I feel a lot better knowing you’re with me. I don’t think I’d mind that… I want to count the days with you.”
“I’m truly happy, then. Now… Close your eyes, alright? Let’s try and get some rest.”
“Okay. Read to me?” You ask in a small voice.
He picks up one of the books he’d brought, turns the lamp on, and cracks it open.
You fall asleep to his gentle voice in your ear, reading a grisly murder mystery novel. And really, what more could you want? You feel better already. And it won’t be hard to get through the days if you have such a wonderful demon to read to you to sleep.