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It seemed like everyone in Tokyo had the idea to go to a bar that evening. It was crowded and loud and unpleasant and Nayuta just wanted to go home.
Gyroaxia and Argonavis had decided to meet up, and all of them were chatting amongst themselves.
Everyone had had a bit to drink, but Nayuta wasn’t in the mood.
Ren, however, was extremely drunk. He snuggled his face against the other’s shoulder, his hair tickling the white haired singer’s neck. “Nayuta, you’re so comfy”.
Nayuta pushed him away with an unconvincing glare on his face, “Stop it. You’re heavy”.
“But you’re so pretty”, Ren complained, “I want to be close to you”.
Nayuta felt his own face turn red as he yelled, trying to silence the other man.
He knew he liked Ren, and at this point he was almost sure Ren liked him back. There had been many times, even when sober, where Ren would go out of his way to give Nayuta a compliment, or do him a favor, and he really really enjoyed hugging Nayuta at the most random of times.
But there was someone else at the end of that table who was glaring at them, both envy and jealousy visible in his stare. But neither Nayuta or Ren noticed.
Ren was in love with Nayuta. He knew it very well and he was happy about it. He enjoyed the feeling of having a crush and he was convinced he and Nayuta were going to end up together in the end. It was just a gut feeling, but his gut was hardly ever wrong (is what he liked to think).
When he woke up, some moments of the night before came back to him. He remembered clinging to Nayuta and how beautiful the man had looked under the mellow lights of the bar. As soon as he opened his eyes, he was hit by a powerful hangover headache. He had definitely overdone it this time.
He made his way into the kitchen of the Argonavis share house, where Wataru was sitting alone, watching a Youtube video on his phone as he sipped on some tea.
“Good morning, Wataru”.
“‘Morning”.
Ren took a headache pill from one of the cabinets before pouring himself a glass of water to send it down. “I really drank too much last night, didn’t I”, he chuckled.
He expected Wataru to start scolding him with his usual brand of tough love, but all he got back was an annoyed sounding “Mhm” as the other’s eyes never left his phone. It was weird to say the least and Ren didn’t like it, but he didn’t want to assume the worst. He poured himself some milk and sat next to his bassist as he sipped on it.
He let his gaze linger on Wataru. They had known each other for a while now and Ren had already realized that this man had a type of beauty that you wouldn’t see very often. His skin was fair almost like porcelain, a stark contrast with his red hair which made all of his features pop out. Ren noticed he wasn’t wearing his usual bobby pins, so his bangs kept falling over his eye, as long, lean fingers immediately pushed the strand back behind his ear.
If it wasn’t for Nayuta, maybe Ren would have had a crush on him instead.
“Why are you staring at me?”
Ren felt himself blush at the harsh sound of Wataru’s voice.
“Sorry, you just look really beautiful”, he said, hoping to cheer the man up.
“You say that to everyone”.
Wataru sounded sad, and Ren was surprised by his words. “I-I really don’t, I mean it”.
“That’s all you were saying to Asahi last night. I get it that he’s attractive, but you don’t need to be like that”.
“I think both of you are attractive!” Ren spoke, his voice getting louder.
He noticed the blush on Wataru’s cheeks as he paused the Youtube video and put his phone away. “Well, t-thank you”.
Ren paused for a moment, his brain connecting some dots.
“...Wait, do you like Nayuta?”
Wataru was jealous. Every time Ren and Nayuta touched he felt a shiver down his spine, and yet he didn’t understand. He liked Ren. He knew he did. Ever since the first time they had performed a song together, Wataru had felt that type of special throb in his heart every time they got a little closer.
And then Nayuta came into their lives, and everything became confusing.
He liked Ren, he knew he did. But Nayuta was something else. His personality was bigger than life and he was always so strong, confident, unafraid. Maybe it’s that Wataru wanted to be more like him, but he felt himself go red every time they so much as spoke a word to one another.
He expected that to mean that his attraction for Ren would disappear, but it never did. It felt like his foot was in two different shoes at once and it couldn’t fit into either of them.
The way Ren smiled around Nayuta made his heart ache.
I wish it was me .
The way Nayuta blushed when Ren touched him made his fists clench.
I wish it was me .
“Nayuta, would you go out with Wataru? Like… on a date”.
“Huh?”
Ren coughed, trying to maintain his composure. If his friend liked Nayuta, he needed to set himself aside and make him happy. He wasn’t the type of person to get in the way of a close friend’s crush, no matter how much Nayuta meant to him.
“Wh-Why? I thought you…”
Ren tilted his head to the side, “What is it?”
Nayuta wasn’t happy about this and Ren could tell. He went to hug the other man, but quickly pulled his arms back. Wataru should be the one hugging Nayuta, not him.
“I… thought you liked me”. Nayuta’s voice was uncharacteristically quiet as he spoke, clear dejection seeping through.
Ren sighed. He could’ve made up a lie, but he found himself unable to. “I do like you. But Wataru is my friend and I don’t want to make him sad. He’s a really good person and I’m sure he…”
Before he could finish his thought, Nayuta’s lips were on his. He wanted to struggle and get away, this was Wataru’s kiss, he shouldn’t be the one receiving it. But he liked it too much to stop and before he knew it his hands were on the back of Nayuta’s neck, pulling him closer as their lips sought each other over and over.
Neither of them heard the door swing open.
“Ren, we need to… Oh ”.
The door slammed behind Wataru as he ran away, tears in his eyes.
He needed to talk to Ren. He felt like the mess that had come out of his mouth the day before at breakfast had just ended up confusing the other, and every occasion in which they’d seen each other after that, Wataru had found himself turning away and running like a coward.
He wasn’t going to tell the truth. There was no way that he, in his right mind, would have the courage to explain things as they actually were. What he planned to say was that he didn’t like Nayuta, he had never liked Nayuta, and the only reason he had said what he had said is that he was tired and hungover from the night before. Ren trusted him, and he would have used that trust to his advantage to make himself feel less like a failure. It was probably a scummy thing to do, but it’s not like he had better options.
He gathered his courage as he stood in front of the door to Ren’s room, reciting what he was going to say over and over in his head as he finally put his hand on the door knob and gave it a push. The thought that he had forgotten to knock quickly crossed his mind, but he really came to regret it just a few moments later.
“Ren, we need to… Oh ”.
They were kissing. Ren and Nayuta were kissing. They were so into it that it took a second for either of them to register Wataru’s presence, and by the time they did, the redhead had already slammed the door shut behind him.
He ran into his own room and locked the door behind him, his breath heavy and tears streaming down his face. He knew he shouldn’t let this affect him, he knew Ren and Nayuta liked each other and that this would have happened eventually, but he wasn’t ready.
Though he supposed, he never would’ve been ready.
He sat on the floor and hugged his legs against his chest, trying to calm himself down. He heard a knocking on the door.
“Wataru? Can I please talk to you?”
Ren sounded desperate and Wataru cared about him too much to let him worry like that.
“Give me a minute”.
He wiped the tears from his face with a tissue and practiced his best smile before going to open the door. Ren looked devastated. He didn’t waste a second before wrapping his arms around Wataru, “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I knew you liked Nayuta and I still kissed him. I should’ve pushed him away, I should’ve… Been a better friend”.
Wataru gently pushed Ren's body away and served the smile he’d practiced. “It’s okay. I don’t like Nayuta, I was just startled is all”.
“Then why are you crying?”
Wataru brought a hand up to his cheek and felt the wetness streaming down. He couldn’t hold his sobs back anymore. He sat down on his bed and Ren joined him, once again holding him in a hug. It was comforting and it was warm and Wataru wanted to kiss the man next to him more than he ever did before.
But he’s not yours and he never will be .
“I’m willing to give up on Nayuta”, Ren spoke in a gentle tone, “I… I do like him, but I like you too. You’re one of my best friends. And seeing you like this hurts me more than anything”.
Ren was kind. Too kind. “I really don’t deserve you”.
“You do. You deserve to be happy”.
Wataru buried his head in the crook of Ren’s neck, the comforting warmth calming him down.
“If you’re comfortable with it, do you want to have a chat with Nayuta? I… I guess, I was trying to set the two of you up, so he knows you like him. And you know he wants to pretend to be a bad boy or whatever”, Ren chuckled quietly, “but he wants to say sorry, too”.
Wataru nodded. At this point he had no more dignity to lose, anyway.
He had done it. He’d finally kissed Ren and it had felt amazing. But of course things just couldn’t go smoothly. Apparently the bassist from Argonavis also had a crush on him and of course he’d been the one walking in on them as they shared their first kiss.
Nayuta wondered how someone like Wataru could even like him. Wataru was, in Nayuta’s eyes, one of those guys that you would look at from afar to appreciate their attractiveness, but never actually get close to. He had that type of beauty that made him look both delicate and tough, and that was fascinating to him.
But he had Ren, his sweet and charming Ren. He was a force of nature inside a pastel pink Hello Kitty casing. Nayuta enjoyed all aspects of him a bit too much, but his favorite thing was his passion. Ren was the type of person that would stop at nothing to achieve his dream, and that resonated with Nayuta. They pushed one another further and further, and the fact that Ren was the one next to him on this path to success made every step ever so sweet.
In different circumstances, Nayuta would have gone out with Wataru in a heartbeat. The guy was smart, enticing, and, you know, had a great body. But Ren had been the one who had made his heart beat faster for the first time and that would have been hard to deny.
Ren had gone to Wataru’s room to try and cheer him up, while Nayuta waited. Frankly, he felt guilty. He wasn’t the type to care about these types of things, but for some reason he cared about Wataru and knowing he was sad was making him upset too. It was truly bothersome.
Ren opened the door and sat next to Nayuta in bed. “He’s feeling better. I think you should go talk to him though”.
“Before I go, Nanahoshi…”, Nayuta brought his face closer to the other man’s, “Can I kiss you again?”
Ren put one of his hands on Nayuta’s mouth, pushing him away, “Don’t. I owe this to Wataru. Go talk to him”.
Nayuta made his way to Wataru’s room, a sort of nervousness in his gut. He and Wataru had talked before, but never alone like this, and never extensively, and he would have been lying if he said it didn’t make him feel some kind of way when they spoke to one another.
“Matoba”.
“Hey”, Wataru spoke, a melancholic expression on his face.
The silence was weird and awkward and both of them knew what they should say but couldn’t get it out. Wataru invited Nayuta to sit next to him in bed, and as the singer’s hand grazed his own as he sat down, both of them jerked their arms away.
Nayuta’s heart was beating fast, too fast for someone who was just here to let Wataru know he couldn’t be with him. He thought of Ren and reminded himself he couldn’t mess this up.
“You don’t need to be so stiff. I’m not gonna jump you or anything”, Wataru talked harshly, but the redness in his cheeks spoke a whole different language.
Nayuta took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts, “I’m sorry you had to find out like that. That I like Ren”.
“I already knew you two liked each other. It would have been foolish of me to not expect this”.
Nayuta fell silent again. He truly had no idea what to say or do. The whole situation almost felt absurd.
“Can I ask you something crazy? You can say no”.
Nayuta shrugged his shoulders, “Sure. Go for it”.
“Can I kiss you? Just once. I’ll never bother you again after this”.
Wataru’s flushed face and the way his eyes glimmered with expectancy made Nayuta’s heart swell. He didn’t think it was the right thing to do, but his mouth went off before he could do anything about it.
“Okay”.
As they looked into each other’s eyes and inched closer, Wataru felt himself shiver. He was really about to kiss Nayuta. He didn’t know why he had asked and he couldn’t understand why the other man had agreed, but when their mouths finally rested on one another it was like everything suddenly made sense. He didn’t have the courage to move, too afraid of Nayuta pulling away if he did something too bold.
But when the man started moving his lips on Wataru’s, he didn’t even get a chance to feel off-guard. Once they had started, it felt like they couldn’t stop. Nayuta’s hands roamed behind his back and Wataru felt himself go crazy. He couldn’t do anything but focus on the burning warmth of the spot where their mouths connected and he wanted more, more, more…
“Fuck”.
Nayuta pulled away, his hands immediately going to cover up his face.
“This is… You… Why?”
Nayuta seemed to be at a loss for words, and Wataru felt the same. It was wrong for this to feel so right.
“I think you should leave”, Wataru spoke, trying to keep his voice from shaking.
“Yeah, I-I need to think”.
Nayuta left the Argonavis share house in a hurry, his thoughts all over the place.
Wataru was restless. Nayuta hadn’t contacted either him or Ren for a week, which for Wataru wasn’t too surprising seeing as they hardly ever texted each other, but Ren was devastated. He was used to chatting to Nayuta every day before going to bed, and he couldn’t accept how his messages had gone unanswered.
Wataru felt at fault. It was him who ruined everything between these two people, even though they should have been the ones he cared about the most.
He still hadn’t found the courage to tell Ren about the kiss, and he wasn’t sure he ever would. But it was unfair to keep it from him and Wataru was aware of this.
When he and Ren were left behind by themselves after band practice, Wataru finally decided to let it out. He spoke fast and clumsily and he could see Ren’s face dropping as he mentioned the kiss.
“I… I’m happy for you. I hope you guys will be happy together”, Ren tried keeping his voice steady but loud sobs interrupted him.
Wataru was panicking. He knew this was his fault but he didn’t know what to do to fix it. He couldn’t stop liking Nayuta, definitely not after what had happened. But Ren meant so much to him, more than he ever could express with simple words. He hugged his friend tightly and let the phrase slip out of his mouth.
“I like you, Ren”.
Ren’s tears stopped pouring down as his eyes widened, “What?”
“You’re gonna think I’m insane”, Wataru took a deep breath, “So let me finish talking before you judge me”.
Ren still looked sad but Wataru could tell he was intrigued. The blue haired man nodded, and Wataru started telling his story.
“Before either of us even knew who Nayuta was, I liked you. And when I started falling for Nayuta, I didn’t stop liking you. You… Both of you mean the world to me, and yet I managed to hurt you and him alike. I feel like I’m terrible and wrong and disgusting, but deep in my heart I know that if I could have my way then I would want both of you by my side as my partners.
I know it’s crazy and probably impossible but I can’t help but hold out hope that the three of us could make it work. But I don’t think either of you see me in that light, and even if you did it would be such a confusing dynamic, wouldn’t it”, Wataru let out a bitter chuckle.
“You don’t need to keep being my friend after this. I would understand. But I like you and I want you to know that”.
Ren’s mouth was hanging open, his head slightly quivering as if trying to shake the thoughts in his brain.
“I… like you too”.
“Yeah, of course. We’re friends”, Wataru spoke, trying to keep his expectations low.
“N-no, I like you in the same way you like me. I always thought that if it wasn’t for Nayuta I would have liked to be with you… But if I could have you both that would make me so much happier…”
Both of them stared at one another with vacant expression, as if everything they both had said was just catching up to them. The red on both of their cheeks grew brighter and brighter as they realized how near their faces were to one another.
Ren tentatively reached the redhead’s cheek with his hand. “Would it be okay if I kissed you?”
Wataru shily nodded before bringing his face even closer to the other’s, slowly shutting his eyelids as their mouths finally touched. It was different from kissing Nayuta. It was quiet, sweet and gentle, without hurry or desperation, and yet he liked it just as much.
When they separated, Ren brought his fingers to his lips. “This feels really good. I wanna do it more. With Nayuta, too”.
Wataru’s smile was genuine as he bent over to leave a kiss on Ren’s forehead, “I feel the same. We should let him know, too”.
Their hands naturally intertwined as they left the building, their smiles growing fonder and fonder.
Nayuta was in a state of utter confusion. The fact that he’d enjoyed kissing Ren wasn’t surprising. He had liked the man for a few months already and he’d longed for a kiss from him for just as long. But the way he’d found himself easily giving into Wataru’s desires and making them his own kept bothering him. He felt like he had cheated on Ren, even though they hadn’t even talked of dating yet. And something deep inside of him was enticed by the idea that he could have both of them.
He shook his head. It would have been unfair to play with them like that and he wasn’t that much of a scumbag.
How was he supposed to face either of them like this? He felt like if any window had opened itself for him to kiss either of them again he would have. It was wrong and unfair and confusing. He let out a deep sigh as he heard a knocking at his door.
“Don’t bother me today, Satozuka. I don’t have the energy to deal with you”.
“S-Should I come back another time?”
Nayuta was startled upon hearing Ren’s voice. He realized he was in his pjs and he had two dark eyebags from a night of worrying.
“Nanahoshi, uhm, it’s okay. One second”.
He threw on some random clothes and slapped his cheeks to make himself look awake, his body almost shaking with tension. He finally convinced himself and went to open the door.
It wasn’t just Ren on the other side. Wataru was standing there too, a shy smile on his face.
They were both too cute and Nayuta felt himself getting giddy at the sight of them.
He coughed nervously before letting both of them in his room, where they all sat down next to each other in bed with Nayuta in the middle.
When Ren took his hand, and Wataru looked at them with a smile, Nayuta knew something was up. They were both way too cheerful to be “love rivals” or whatever you could call this.
“Nayuta, you know I like you”, Ren said, his eyes looking over at Wataru as if seeking approval, “And Wataru likes you as well”.
Nayuta nodded, his expression confused.
“We talked about it, and we found out we’ve liked each other this whole time too. I know this might be… complicated to understand. And we don’t expect you to be down with what we want. But… we would both like to date you. And date each other”.
“Sorry. I’m sorry. Give me a moment”.
Nayuta exited his room and closed the door behind him, his thoughts running a million miles an hour. Could he really, in his right mind, accept this? Both Ren and Wataru seemed to be okay with it, and he would have achieved his dream of having both of them by his side. But was a relationship like this really fair to all of them?
He let out a grunt and stomped his foot before bursting back into the room. Wataru was leaving a peck on Ren’s lips and both of them immediately separated as they heard the other man come in.
Nayuta expected to feel jealousy, or anger, or annoyance, but he didn’t. They both liked him too. He could kiss them in the same way as much as he wanted. It could work. They could all make this work together.
Nayuta inhaled deeply before speaking, “... Okay. Let’s do it”.
Ren leaped up and threw his hands around Nayuta, jumping on the spot with excitement.
“I’m so happy”.
Nayuta held Ren’s head steady with his hand before leaning down to leave a passionate kiss on his lips. When they separated, he took Wataru’s hand and helped him up before leaving a peck on his temple.
Ren hugged both of them tightly as Wataru lifted one of his brows while looking at Nayuta. “So he gets a full kiss on the lips like that, and I only get a little smooch on my head? I think you’re picking favorites already”.
Nayuta’s expression immediately became worried, but Wataru let out a chuckle. “I’m just joking. Come here”.
He grabbed Nayuta’s face between his hands and left a deep kiss on his mouth, both of them quickly melting into it.
Nayuta peeked one of his eyes open only to see Ren intently staring at them with sparkling eyes. “Wow. You guys really look good together”.
Wataru smiled fondly, his hand grabbing Ren’s.
“We all do”.
They stood close together, enjoying the feeling they all brought to one another, and as time passed, it never ceased to feel right.
Maybe three is a crowd, but it’s exactly the crowd they needed.