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"If it means anything, I ship Yamajima."
Yamada laughs. "I would be the worst boyfriend ever."
"No shit Sherlock, you're forgetting that I've been there." Mirai comments dully from her seat in front of him. "But that's okay, cause Yuto would be the better boyfriend in the relationship. He'll look after you."
"Don't be stupid,” Yamada groans, narrowing his eyes at Mirai. “He’s with Ohgo-chan.”
"It proves my point, even girls want him."
"Hey! Girls want me too!" Yamada sputters in protest, but all Mirai does is shoot him a look.
"Yeah, but then they learn that all you want is Nakajima's pogo stick."
"Be more bitter." Yamada makes sure to slurp loudly at what is lacking of his drink, because it annoys the hell out of Mirai. "What do you think of Kamiki?"
Mirai visibly cringes. "You want that now?"
Yamada makes a face of equal disgust. "Ew. No. EW. I meant you."
"Let me guess, Kamiki wants to know how I feel about him so he can have you subtly hint that he likes me."
"Has anyone told you that you're a smartass? I bet you could sit on a tub of icecream and tell me what flavour it is."
Mirai glares and flicks an ice cube in Yamada's direction.
"Well, this is my neutral expression."
A pause.
"You DEFINITELY like Kamiki!"
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Yama-chan, I don't think I can go home with you today.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Is today a late day for you?
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Nah, i've just got some things to do. Sorry!!
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Don't worry about it.
Yamada knows that some things to do translates into the fact that Yuto has lost interest in him, has found something else that distracts him. Yamada doesn't question it, simply because he is Yamada.
He knows he's kind of boring.
Yamada doesn't say anything about it, even when he goes home alone for the fifth day in a row.
He meets Yuto on the train home a week later. The younger boy is walking with Ohgo-chan and a bunch of other kids from his class. Yuto catches Yamada's eyes and gives an awkward wave, and they end up boarding the train at the same cabin.
Yamada notices the shy glances Yuto shoots at Ohgo-chan and makes up some excuse about buying cakes in Akihabara for his grandmother who is visiting and gets off at the next station.
Yuto doesn't comment on the fact that Yamada alights 7 stops too early, but Yamada doesn't think Yuto would notice anyway.
Yamada may not be the best in musical instruments, but he is good at words and he knows it. He pours his feelings and frustrations into lyrics, lacing them with sappy angst. He never really submits them because Chinen laughs at almost every line and claims that he's being too obvious.
(“I wanted you to be my shadow, are you seriously that competitive?” Yamada winces as Chinen's awful laughter filters through the speaker.
“Shut up.”
“And but not anymore now that you're hers? You're happier and that's all that matters? Do you even know what subtlety means?”
Yamada hangs up.)
It is mid autumn when Yuto shows up for practice with only a fraction of sunshine in his eyes and Yamada spends the entire practice hovering around the younger boy, trying to get him to feel a little better.
”You’re important to me,” Yamada wants to say. “Please don't be sad.”
Instead, he says, “Yuto-kun, you’re coming with me to eat kakigori.”
At least the younger boy laughs.
"Yama-chan is getting the seasons wrong."
"Shut up, I'm the one who's treating you, you brat."
"Yes sir," Yuto grins, a smile that doesn't reach his eyes, but his eyes are sparkling a little more than before, so Yamada lets it go. "Thank you, Chanyama."
The autumn breeze and the kakigori make Yamada shiver a little as he clutches the paper cup, but the warmth of Yuto's words easily melts his heart.
A week later, Yamada learns through close observation -- it's not classy for an idol like him to stalk people -- that they broke up.
He doesn't bring it up, because he's awkward like that.
It is a Tuesday when Yuto decides to invite himself over.
Yamada can't bring himself to mind.
Half an hour later they have given up on their math homework and are sprawled on the floor, watching a movie on Yamada's tiny television set.
Yamada can't really pay attention to the movie, because Yuto is literally two inches away from him.
He pays attention to Yuto instead.
Yuto apparently finds the movie extremely touching, as he hogs the tissue box and sobs fat heavy tears all over their almost-forgotten math homework.
He is too busy studying Yuto’s moles that it takes Yamada by surprise when a hand grabs his as the credits roll.
"Yama-chan, we're best friends, right?"
Yamada nods, having no idea where Yuto was going with this.
"You're not allowed to die on me suddenly like the best friend in the movie."
Yuto says it with such seriousness and conviction, Yamada has to fight the urge to lace their fingers together squeeze his hand back.
Instead, he ignores the warm tingly feeling he gets with Yuto’s hand against his and laughs.
"I promise."
Yuto doesn’t let go.
Maybe, Yamada thinks, being the best friend isn’t so bad.
Someday, he thinks, maybe they will be more.
(At least he gets to hold Yuto’s hand. He’ll take what he can get, for now.)