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Photographs
Nebula sat in the computer room of the Avengers base. It was late. And she couldn’t sleep again. But not because of nightmares.
Memories kept her awake this time. Hopes and wishes of what could’ve been.
She looked at the pictures of the Guardians. Images taken by Rocket, Quill, and even Drax during missions and relaxation moments.
Nebula focused primarily on images of Gamora. She came across an image of Gamora yelling at Quill and Drax, causing Nebula to remember when she made her request to Rocket about getting these images.
A Couple of Days Earlier.
“Not a chance!” Rocket replied.
“Rocket…” Nebula said.
“Look, Nebula. Just ‘cause we gotta work together now, doesn’t make us friends. And these images? They’re mine. They’re private. So piss off!”
Nebula didn’t get upset. In fact, she understood where his anger was coming from. She just stared at him. “Rocket, please. I want to see my sister… when she was happy.”
Rocket wanted to hold his glare.
“Please. If only a few. I don’t want my only memories of Gamora to be ones of… anger. I just… want to see her when she was happy. When she was around her family. People… she loved.”
Nebula’s earnestness and sincerity irritated Rocket to no end. After all, he wanted to be angry and did his best to hang on to that emotion, trying, so desperately, to hold his glare. But Nebula’s eyes were actually conveying sadness to him. Maybe even remorse.
Rocket scoffed and turned around. “Gimme an hour.”
“Why so long?” Nebula asked.
“I wanna make sure I get some good ones. And take out the ones of me drawing on Drax’s and Quill’s faces while they were sleeping.”
“How often could you have done that?”
“More times than ya think.”
“Thank you,” Nebula declared.
“Yeah,” Rocket grumbled. “Just remember… this doesn’t make us friends!”
“Understood. All the same… thank you.”
Present.
Nebula kept scrolling through the pictures, until she realized she had missed a few when some of them repeated. She came to an image of Gamora, almost certainly taken by Quill. She was standing alone, staring at the stars; Nebula couldn’t tell which planet. But the picture was taken from a distance. Nebula zoomed in on the picture, focusing on Gamora’s face. Nebula reached out and pressed her fingers to the screen. She felt herself shake.
“Sister…” Nebula whispered, absentmindedly.
“Nebula?” a voice behind her asked.
But Nebula didn’t jump or feel apprehensive. She recognized Rhodey’s voice, immediately. She’d know it anywhere. And it brought her a calm that, while she was still unaccustomed to, she thoroughly appreciated.
Nebula held her gaze on the screen, “Hello, Rhodey.”
“I was walking by and saw the door open and…” Rhodey saw the picture on the screen. “Oh. Hey, I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bother you. I’ll go.”
“No, wait,” she said, quickly. “Please.”
He stopped.
“Please.”
He nodded and walked in the room, closing the door behind. He looked at the picture, “That’s Gamora.”
“My sister,” Nebula whispered.
Rhodey studied Nebula then looked back at the picture, “She looks tough.”
“One of the deadliest women in the galaxy.”
“You had to be in the top five of that category.”
“I was always second to her,” Nebula replied. “Even for our father’s attention.”
“That had to hurt,” Rhodey mused.
“At the time… yes. Then… we fought on Ego. And… we came to a… mutual truth.”
“What was that?”
Nebula’s eyes drifted down to the console. “During our time with Thanos, we were both merely trying to survive. We just… had different ways of viewing that survival. We were little girls… who didn’t know what we were becoming… until it was too late.” She stared back at the screen. “The Guardians… they saved her. She became a hero. And I tried to kill her at every turn.”
“But that’s not where you ended,” Rhodey said.
“It doesn’t change what I did before.”
“But things did change,” Rhodey declared. “You two stopped being enemies. No matter what happened before, it’s how it ended that matters. I mean… yeah, you have a heavy past but… things got better. You know that. And that knowledge? It’s more than you had before.”
Nebula kept her silence as thought that over. What Rhodey said was true. And it hurt even more.
Rhodey could see it. Behind all of the electronics and prosthetics, there was a conflicted, wounded person. Nebula wasn’t the best at showing emotions, and Rhodey knew he had no right to judge her on that. At least she had mechanical reasons for being so cold. Still, the hurt was there. It was evident. She needed to vent. He hoped he could help.
Rhodey put her hand on Nebula’s shoulder.
She seized up.
“Let it out,” Rhodey advised. “It’s okay.”
Nebula looked down.
“It’s just the two of us, Nebula. I swear on my life… nothing you say to me will go any further than that.”
“I do not fear anyone else knowing,” Nebula admitted. “I… just… don’t know… how to… express this pain.”
“You say it,” Rhodey said, simply and caringly. “You let it out. Sometimes… it’s the only thing that helps.”
Nebula began to shake. She felt the feelings and the words coming. Instead of fighting them, she decided to take Rhodey’s advice and let them out. “I… I failed her.”
Rhodey sighed.
Nebula stared at the image of Gamora. “I failed my sister… and… I can’t fix it.” She looked at Rhodey. “She’s gone. She’s dead. My father killed her.” She looked back at the picture. “And… there’s… nothing I can do. I couldn’t stop him. I was too weak! I can’t even tell her… I… I am… sorry… for everything.”
Rhodey exhaled. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what she was going through. Even if didn’t help as much as he wanted, he had to try. “You said you and her talked… before you left to find Thanos.”
“We did.”
“Then she knows,” Rhodey assured.
“How can you know that?” Nebula asked.
“She gave up the Soul Stone to save your life. Not hers. That’s what family does.”
“She saved my life…” Nebula stopped. “Saving my life… proves it… has a meaning. A worth. And… I don’t know what that means for me… now that she… and so many are gone.”
“You’ve already proved it by still being a Guardian,” Rhodey reminded. “There’s only two of you… and you’re still fighting. Still an Avenger. You’d have worth even without that.”
“I wouldn’t. You didn’t know me before. I was… a monster.”
Rhodey nodded. “Maybe you were. Because that’s what Thanos turned you into. But you didn’t stay that way.”
“I was that way for too long,” Nebula whispered. “I had no worth. Gamora should’ve let me die!”
“No. She shouldn’t have.”
Nebula looked up at the image again. She looked past the picture at the reflection of Rhodey.
She saw something she didn’t expect.
She turned around and looked at him. His eyes were misty.
“You feel sorrow…” Nebula said, in disbelief. “…for me.”
Rhodey exhaled, “Yeah. For what you’ve been through.”
“You’ve experienced pain,” Nebula stood up. “More so than I have.”
“No, I don’t think that’s the case. I think… we’ve both been through a lot. It’s not a matter of who has it worse. It just hurts.”
She paused for a moment. “Yes. It hurts.”
“And… someone I care about is hurting. I wish I could do more.”
Nebula studied him. “What you have done… is more than enough.”
Nebula stared at Rhodey and slowly wrapped her arms around him, hugging him. He hugged her back. For a moment, the hurt wasn’t as bad.
“You’re a kind man,” Nebula whispered. “I’ve… never met anyone as kind as you.”
Rhodey chuckled, softly. “That’s probably one of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to me.”
They separated a bit and looked at each other. A feeling was growing in Nebula and she knew it shouldn’t be there.
Nebula stared into Rhodey’s eyes then looked down. “I… do not wish to hurt you.”
“Why would you?” Rhodey asked.
“I…” she began, “feel things… for you. I know what the feelings are. They’re feelings I shouldn’t have… that I was warned could destroy me… feelings I was designed, rebuilt never to have… but I do. And… if I act on them…” she met his eyes again, “I will hurt you.”
He studied her for a moment. “You sure about that?”
“Yes. And… I never… want to hurt you.”
He shrugged, “You say that like I wouldn’t be scared of hurting you.”
“You wouldn’t,” she insisted. “You couldn’t.”
“Yes, I could. I have flaws. Just like everyone. People get hurt, Nebula. It’s not always intentional, but it happens. I’m not a perfect person. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I get things wrong. And learning about relationships, about the other person, getting hurt happens. When you care… you hurt. That’s a part of caring. But honestly… it’s what tells you that it’s real. When you get hurt, you work through it. That’s what happens when you care. And then there’s the really great part of caring. A lot of good comes with it.”
Nebula thought it all over. “It’s still a risk.”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “It is.”
Nebula studied him then decided to bravely ask a question, “Do you… wish to risk it?”
Rhodey studied her in return. Usually, she was hard to read. But it was very easy to understand what she meant. And he was faced with a choice.
It was a choice he hadn’t been presented with in a very long time. And he realized something.
“Yeah,” Rhodey admitted. “I’m not afraid of the risk. Besides, we have a saying on Earth: sometimes… the risk… is worth the reward.”
Nebula stared at Rhodey for a while. She cautiously moved closer to him and softly pressed her lips to his. They were both amazed as it felt nice. There was no awkwardness, there was no uncomfortableness. It went from feeling nice to feeling good. After a moment, the kiss deepened. And lasted for nearly a minute. After the kiss, they stared at each other in silence.
Nebula shook her head, “I… I’ve never experienced that.”
“That was new for me, too,” Rhodey replied. “But… it felt good.”
“Yes. It did.” She exhaled. “I am… dangerous, Rhodey.”
“I’m best friends with Tony Stark. Dangerous is normal.”
“But… despite all of the logic… I want to… explore this. With you.”
“I want to do that, too.”
“Good.” Nebula looked away, awkwardly, then looked back at him. “May we… kiss again?”
Rhodey smiled. “Oh, yeah!”