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“This seems really unethical,“ I said.
Nightingale sighed. “Peter, we’ve talked about this. Multiple times. And you will have to learn it sooner or later.”
“Do I?” I whined, even though knowing that there were lots of good reasons for this.
Nightingale opened his eyes and gave me a look. “I am not asking you to use glamour ever outside of here. But learning it will help you understand how the magic works and how to fight it off better. Besides, there may be extreme situations where you will have to use it.”
“I’ve solved many Extreme Situations without glamour before,” I murmured.
Nightingale crossed his arms. “What if someone came charging at you with a weapon, and you wouldn’t be able to disarm them without hurting them? Or if you need to deescalate a fight that might otherwise result in serious injury?”
“I know that. But still,” I protested.
“Peter, I wouldn’t be teaching this to you if I didn’t think that you’d be very aware of the consequences and implications of using glamour, and that you would never use it if you have another choice.”
I tried hard not to let my resistance melt from the unintended flattery. “Sure,” I said, shifting my weight from one leg to the other. “It still makes me…”
“Uncomfortable?” Nightingale suggested and I nodded. “I am not asking you to do something like forcing me to jump out of the window, just-”
“But you said yourself that you don’t always make people do exactly the things you intended for them do,” I countered.
“Yes,” Nightingale sighed. “But more in such a thing that I might pick up the table instead of the bottle. The worst thing that could happen here is me accidentally running against the table. All you intend to make me do is to pick up the plastic bottle over there. It’s nothing I would be unwilling to do normally, or something I am aversed to. I am also fully consenting to this while fully knowing what is going to happen and while being completely conscious and not under the influence of any substances or pressure.”
“Can’t I do it on Toby?” I asked, knowing that I was really just delaying the inevitable.
“All minds have a natural resistance against tempering from the outside, even animals. As someone who already knows how to do glamour I can forcibly lower mine, but we won’t be able to do that with Toby. And doing glamour is already hard enough without fighting against that barrier. Though it does have the disadvantage that I really might not stop myself soon enough from walking into the table.”
I must have still looked rather miserable about the whole thing, because he added: “Peter, I would not teach this to you if I didn’t think it was necessary.”
And necessary it was, what with so many super- and not-supernatural beings trying to use glamour on me.
“Okay,” I said, standing up a bit straighter. “Okay, I’ll try.”
“Well then,” Nightingale said. “It’s easier at first if you close your eyes and just try to envision it. Glamour is a lot about you projecting your own will on the world around you. In a way it is about imprinting the formae on your surroundings.”
“Okay,” I said again, closing my eyes. It was mostly quiet, just some of the city noises from outside filtering through, and Nightingale’s calm breathing from where he was standing a few feet away from me. I tried to envision the lab, with Nightingale in the middle of it, and the table to his right where the bottle was standing. I felt a tad ridiculous, being suddenly strongly reminded of those relaxation exercises where you were supposed to imagine yourself floating on a cloud through the sky and I barely supressed a nervous snicker.
“Alright, now try to remember the formae I showed you. Don’t try to use it yet, just remember it. Then add the action you want me to perform. Think of the formae as the catalyst. It might take you several times until you cast a glamour that is actually effective, but don’t get frustrated or let your concentration slip. And try to stay on one thought track, with only one clear action in mind, or I really might pick up the table instead of the bottle.”
“Don’t get distracted, got it.”
“Whenever you are ready then,” Nightingale said.
I tried. Contrary to other formae, glamour felt weird. A bit slippery. And gross, but that was probably just my wishful and hyperbolizing thinking. But just not like the clear shape that other formae was. At least I didn’t have to say any order out loud here – what I was trying for wasn’t seducere were you tried to convince the victim by talking, but just a simple mental order, compell in latin.
It really did take me several tries. Maybe I had been hoping a bit on the inside that it was just not going to work, but in any way I was pretty surprised when it did.
I felt, as well as heard Nightingale take one step forwards, which was of course the wrong direction, because he should be going towards the table and not me and I might have been too much concentrating on actually getting him to move and forget that he first had to turn as well. Anyway, I am blaming the aforementioned surprise for letting my concentration in that second when I realised that the spell was indeed working.
Nightingale had warned me that glamour was less about directly doing something, and more about indirectly guiding someone into doing something for you – which means that whatever he or she was doing might be continued by him or her even when you’re not actively influencing them anymore.
So I might have panicked a bit when I felt my control slip and hear Nightingale come another two steps closer without me actually meaning him to. I hastily tried to grabble for my actual intent – get Nightingale to do what I want.
In hindsight I can clearly see that the formulation of that thought was a very grave error.
Back then I only realised that when I felt Nightingale’s lips pressing softly against mine.
Which had been something I had been wanting for Nightingale to do, but clearly not quite in this setting.
I opened my eyes just in time to see Nightingale shake off the glamour, his expression changing from a bland neutral to one of pure confusion. I wasn’t keen on sticking around to find out what would be coming next.
“I’m so sorry,” I blurted out, whirled around and ran out of the lab. I could hear Nightingale calling out for me to wait, but I didn’t stop.