Work Text:
JJ came home from work feeling sad. She hadn’t felt like this for a while. She’d been pushing her regression back. If she stayed big, she could worry about all of her responsibilities and make sure that everything was done.
Today though, she felt really small so she let herself regress. She made her way into her bedroom and pulled a box out of the closet. To anyone else it would look like she had things prepared if a baby came to stay.
Picking the stuffed penguin up, she pulled it to her chest and squeezed her tightly for a moment. She rubbed her cheek against the soft material and closed her eyes. The fur on the penguin was the whole reason she purchased it anyway. It was soft and she could cuddle her easily. She rested their foreheads together and giggled at the feeling rushing through her body.
She picked up her bottle and blankie, taking them both to the couch. She wrapped her penguin up in the blanket to keep her warm while she went to get some banana milk from the fridge. She carefully poured it into the sippy cup and put the carton back into the fridge. She noticed a tiny bit on the counter but big JJ could deal with that tomorrow.
After putting the sippy cup on the coffee table, she picked her penguin up and unravelled the blanket. The penguin fell to the floor and gasped. She’d hurt her baby!
“Coco, no! I hurts Coco. No. Bad Jay”. She picked the penguin up by it’s flipper and kissed her beak as an apology. She was a little mad at herself for hurting her stuffie. With a frown on her face she opened the blanket and draped it over her legs and chest, making sure to cover Coco too.
She stroked her fingers clumsily over the swans on the pink fluffy blanket making sure to pet each one. It had been so long since she’d taken care of them all. She hummed while she petted each swan and after completing her task, she reached for the TV remote to find Tangled on Netflix.
Rapunzel reminded JJ of herself. They both had long long blonde hair and liked to sing! With one hand, JJ clutched her sippy cup and held Coco in the crook of her elbow and she let the other hand drift to her mouth so that she could suck her thumb.
She hadn’t been able to bring herself to buy a pacifier just yet. She still felt a little ashamed of her regression even though she knew it was a common method of coping with childhood trauma.
JJ was entranced by Rapunzel moving across her screen and she turned Coco around so that she could watch too. She drank some of her milk and then offered the cup to Coco but she didn’t want any, which was okay with JJ. It meant she could have more for herself.
She was interrupted from taking care of Coco by her phone ringing in the kitchen. JJ froze. She didn’t know what to do. She knew she couldn’t answer the phone while she was regressed, but it might be Hotch and it could be important.
She let it ring and when it stopped she sighed in relief. If it was important, they could call her again. Sure enough, a few seconds later, JJ’s phone started to ring again so she put on her best ‘big girl’ voice and rushed to answer the phone.
“Hello?” JJ was aware that her voice was quiet and her speech was slightly slurred. She was 3 years old and she couldn’t speak properly just yet.
“JJ, hi!” Emily’s calming voice came through the phone and JJ felt a little relieved that it wasn’t too important. “I just wanted to check on you. I know you’ve been having a tough week”. Tears welled up in JJ’s eyes and she had to stop herself from crying.
“I ok Emmy”. JJ tried to sound brave, and big but she wasn’t sure she had convinced Emily.
“I know you are Jay, is it okay if I come over and give you a hug?” JJ thought for a moment. Maybe Emily wouldn’t judge her. Maybe she could help JJ and Coco.
“Yup. Emmy bring donuts for JJ and Coco?” Emily could hear the hope in JJ’s voice and it brought a smile to her face.
“Emily will bring donuts for JJ and Coco. Is that your stuffie Jay?” JJ’s face broke out into a smile at Emily making the connection.
“Coco my baby penwin”. JJ struggled to say a few words when she was little and apparently her stuffie was one of them.
“I’ll come and see you and Coco, okay? And I’ll bring donuts”. Emily had already grabbed her car keys and she was putting her shoes on to leave for the store.
“Mkay. Bye Emmy”. JJ put the phone down before Emily had a chance to say goodbye. While Emily headed to the store, JJ pressed play on Tangled again. she was feeling excited now and she was getting restless.
She held onto Coco's flippers and they danced together until Emily knocked on the door. JJ held onto Coco’s flipper while she walked to the door. She bumped into the wall a few times which made her laugh as she opened the door.
Emily could see the smile on jj’s face and it made her happy. She held out the box of donuts for JJto look at. Coco took a peek too but she needed a little help from JJ. JJ’s fingers twitched as she fought off the urge to wrap her arms around Emily's neck and jump on her. Of course Emily noticed.
“Give me one moment to put these down and then I'll hold you, okay?” JJ nodded and Emily made her way into the kitchen. She placed the box of donuts on the counter first and then she gently lowered her keys. She didn’t want to make too much noise in case it scared JJ.
“Come here Sweet Girl”. Emily held out her arms and JJ shuffled into Emily’s embrace. Her head rested on Emily's shoulder and she closed her eyes. It was nice to have a cuddle.
“Huggle pwease?” JJ's voice was so fragile and it made Emily's heart squeeze.
“Of course Sweet Girl. Do you want to show me how to give you a huggle?” JJ nodded and wrapped her arms around Emily’s neck.
“Catchy Emmy?” Emily understood what JJ meant and she nodded.
“You can jump when I get to three, okay?” Emily looked at JJ’s face for the reaction and at the huge huge smile on JJ's face she started counting. “One”, JJ’s fingers twitched at the back of Emily's neck. “Two”, JJ’s feet started bouncing on the floor. “Three!”
JJ jumped and wrapped her legs around Emily's waist. The brunette gripped JJ’s thighs and pulled the younger girl close to her.
“Emmy warm. Oh no”. Emily thought about what could have possibly gone wrong in the few seconds she had been holding JJ and then she realised Coco wasn’t anywhere in sight.
“Did you drop Coco, JJ?” Emily could feel JJ’s body start to shake slightly. She was about to cry and it made Emily feel slightly guilty.
“Coco bumpy head Ma”. Emily smiled at the new nickname JJ had given her. She realised that she had to think on the spot about how to get the stuffed penguin back.
“Okay baby. Ma will get Coco”. She slowly turned around until she could see the penguin. JJ was right. She had landed on her head and now she was upside down.
Emily slid the penguin across the floor until she was touching the wall. She lifted the penguin up the wall with her foot and grabbed it when it was high enough. She made sure not to jostle JJ who seemed content running her fingers through Emily’s silky hair.
“Here you go Angel”. Emily held the penguin over her shoulder and JJ grabbed it quickly.
“Tank you Ma”. Emily rocked JJ back and forth and the young girl hummed in contentment.
“Shall we sit down, Sweet Girl?” JJ nodded and hummed once which prompted Emily to make her way to the couch.
She lowered herself and JJ carefully, the blonde shifted her legs to tuck herself into Emily's lap. Emily's arms wrapped around JJ to hold her close.
JJ bounced Coco along Emily's arm, helping her walk to Emily's knee and back. JJ was making sure Coco had all the exercise she needed today.
“Milkies Ma?” Both JJ and Coco looked at Emily, hoping to be given some milk to quench their thirst. leaning forward, Emily picked up JJ’s sippy cup from the table to find it empty.
“Ma going to get you some more milk, my sweet girls. Can I stand up?” JJ nodded and curled up against the cushion she had on the couch to let Emily get out from underneath her.
Emily made her way into the kitchen and opened the fridge to find the milk jj had been drinking earlier. The cap had been screwed on wrong and there was a drop sliding down the carton.
She found a cloth and wiped the carton, as well as the puddle JJ left earlier. It wasn't too big, but it was enough for Emily to worry about.
While she was still in the kitchen, Emily opened JJ’s cupboard to grab a plastic plate. She was going to give JJ a donut now so that she could clean the mess up later, and wipe JJ's mouth without too much of a fuss before bed.
Just as she was about to close the cupboard, she spotted a tiny plastic teacup. She picked it up with her thumb and index finger and poured a tiny amount of milk into it. She also broke off a small piece of a second donut and placed it on the edge of the plate for Coco.
She closed the donut box, put the milk back in the fridge and put JJ and Coco’s snack before making her way back to them.
When Emily entered the living room, she found JJ with her thumb in her mouth and her other hand stroking Coco's tummy.
Emily placed the tray on the table and crouched in front of JJ. “Do you want a snack Angel?” JJ nodded and made grabby hands at Emily. “Okay, would Coco like some too?” JJ picked Coco up and made her head move, indicating that yes, Coco would like some too please.
Emily picked up the piece of donut she had broken off and held it to Coco's mouth. she smiled fondly when JJ made an eating noise for her stuffed penguin. She repeated the action with the small cup, JJ sighing satisfyingly when Emily pulled the cup away, and then handed JJ the plate with the donut on.
“Ma help?” JJ frowned at the donut. It was a little big to navigate to her mouth so Emily broke it into four smaller pieces forJJ.
“Is that better?” JJ smiled shyly and guided the first piece to her mouth. She shimmied her shoulders at the yummy taste.
“Mama try some yummy”. JJ picked up another piece and held it close to Emily's lips. Emily bit the corner off and smiled when JJ popped the rest of it into her mouth. She pointed at the sippy cup and Emily passed it to her.
“Tank you Ma”. A little milk dripped down JJ’s chin and Emily wiped it away with her thumb.
“You’re welcome Angel”. JJ finished the donut with Emily handing her the sippy cup when she needed it. She babysat Coco while JJ ate and she made sure that Coco didn’t get into any trouble.
She handed Coco back to jj when the plate was empty and she took the dishes back to the kitchen.
JJ continued watching tangled as Emily cleaned the plate and tiny teacup she had used. She left them to dry on JJ’s draining board while she went back to the little girl on the couch. JJ's thumb was in her mouth again and Emily made a note to get JJ a pacifier soon.
Emily made her way to the couch and JJ held her arms out to be given a hug. Emily was more than happy to provide the comfort that JJ needed.
“Are you tired Angel?” JJ nodded and brought her fist up to her eyes to rub them.
“Ma give huggles to sleeps?” JJ held Coco out to Emily, who pulled Coco close to her chest and stroked her hand over the fur on the top of her head. “Ma play with Jay’s hair?” JJ tilted her head to the side curiously.
“Of course Sweet Girl. Do you want to go to bed?” JJ quickly glanced at the TV to find the credits had started rolling.
“Yup. Coco come too?” The stuffed penguin was pushed right into Emily’s face so she gave Coco a forehead kiss.
“Coco can come too. We can all have huggles and go to sleep”. JJ reached for Emily’s hand to pull her into the bedroom. She was excited to show Emily her pyjamas. They had Pascal, the gecko from Tangled on and they were JJ’s favourite thing to wear when she was regressed.
Emily stopped JJ from running off by turning the lights off and then guiding them into the bathroom to brush JJ’s teeth.
“No”. JJ was stubborn. There was absolutely no way Emily would be able to convince JJ to brush her teeth,
“Ma will help you JJ”. Emily opened the cupboard and found JJ’s soft toothbrush and some strawberry flavoured toothpaste, compared to the mint one on the sink.
“No like”. She squirted a little bit onto the brustles and made an airplane noise, moving the toothbrush directly towards JJ’s mouth. JJ giggled and opened her mouth to let Emily clean her teeth. Emily made funny sounds while she brushed JJ’s teeth to keep her engaged, and to keep her mouth open.
“Good job! All done”. Emily smiled and pressed a soft kiss to JJ’s forehead. She rinsed to brush and placed it back in the cupboard with the strawberry toothpaste.
She guided JJ into the bedroom and held onto Coco while JJ changed into her pyjamas. The only time she had to intervene was when JJ got the legs of her pyjama bottoms tangled.
“Well done Angel! You did such a good job”. JJ beamed at the praise and reached for Coco. Emily passed the stuffed penguin back to JJ who nuzzled her nose against the soft fur.
“Sleeps now Ma”. JJ jumped onto the bed and flopped down in the middle. Emily turned the lamp on, and turned the overhead light off. The room was much dimmer than before and it would be easier for JJ to fall asleep.
“Yeah Baby. Sleep time. Do you want me to huggle you?” JJ nodded so Emily found some of JJ’s looser fitting pyjamas and climbed into the bed with JJ. JJ rested her head on Emily’s chest to listen to the steady beat and she stroked Coco’s fur.
Emily ran her hand through JJ’s hair like he had requested and JJ sighed contentedly. She listened to JJ’s breath even out and just as JJ was about to fall asleep, she whispered something Emily was lucky to catch.
“Loves Ma”. Emily smiled and carefully turned off the lamp, allowing herself to sleep now that JJ was safe.
When JJ woke up the next morning, the first thing she saw was the stuffed penguin. She sat up in alarm and looked around her room. She couldn’t remember anything from the night before. It was then she noticed Emily in bed with her.
“Morning”. Emily’s morning voice was deeper than JJ had ever heard it and JJ was left speechless for a moment. She didn’t remember Emily getting here.
“I’m sorry”, was the first thing that left JJ’s mouth. “You shouldn’t have to deal with that”, being the second.
“Don’t apologise JJ. Thank you for trusting me to look after you when you were regressed”. JJ blushed and ducked her head down. “No, don’t do that. I want to see you Beautiful”. JJ’s eyes flicked up Emily’s face and instead of finding disgust like she expected, she found an adoring smile.
“You’re okay with it?” JJ’s grip on the stuffed penguin tightened subconsciously.
“I am. Be careful with Coco please”. JJ’s grip loosened significantly and JJ realised how anxious she was over Emily’s reaction. “Do you know what you called me last night?” JJ shook her head lightly.
“Was it something bad?” She looked down at Coco and started to stroke her fur.
“Not at all Baby”. JJ’s face lit up at the pet name but she kept her eyes lowered. “You called me Ma”. JJ’s eyes flicked up to Emily’s face in alarm and she opened her mouth to speak but Emily beat her to it. “You trust me that much Jay? That’s beautiful”.
“You think so? It’s not weird?” JJ watched Emily’s face carefully for a reaction.
“I don’t. I liked it”. JJ smiled shyly. This was the reaction JJ had hoped Emily would have.
“Will you be my Ma, when I’m little again?” JJ couldn’t look at Emily when she asked. She was too embarrassed. Emily gripped JJ’s chin and turned her head to look at Emily.
“Yes, on the condition that we get you a pacifier”. JJ nodded and let her face form into a huge smile. “Oh, and JJ, I love you too”. JJ blushed and fell into arms.
She couldn’t remember the last time she had been this happy. It had been a long time but it was an amazing feeling.