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“Chat Noir!!” Ladybug screeched, slamming into a wall. The impact left cracks in the wall; Adrien grimaced. He was currently crouched behind a car, waiting for Plagg to power up again. He was taking his sweet time about it, that was for sure.
“Come on, come on.” he muttered, flexing his fingers. Plagg held one hand up imperiously, and swallowed the last bit of camembert. Adrien ground his teeth. “Plagg - claws out!”
The villain they were currently fighting was no one they knew. It was your average, run-of-the-mill, someone had got a bit too upset, and been in the wrong place at the wrong time - they’d been dealing with simple jobs like this every other weekend.
Adrien hadn’t caught her name, but Ladybug reckoned the akuma was in the (alarmingly pink) purse she was clutching in her left hand. She had used her right hand to throw Ladybug into the brick wall.
“Don’t let all the fun happen without me.” he winked, helping Ladybug up. “Seems you were in a sticky situation.”
She glared at him. “About time.”
Adrien shrugged and used his stick to block the blow that was aimed at Ladybug’s head. “Not even a thank you.”
Ladybug growled under her breath.
“Ladybug and Chat Noir! Surrender your—”
“It’s getting boring now.” said Adrien, crouching down.
“You’re right. Let’s finish this. Lucky—”
She never got to finish. The alarmingly pink handbag hit her squarely in the chest, propelling her down the street. The handbag circled back round like a boomerang and - whatever her name was - laughed triumphantly.
“Ladybug!” he shouted, running after her and skidding to a halt.
She was lying on the ground, breathing shallowly.
“Are you alright?”
“Just.” she grimaced. “We definitely cannot finish this on our own.”
“Agreed.”
“You need to find someone - use another miraculous.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know!” she lowered her voice. “Trust your instincts. I can get to safety from here and heal up a little.”
“Got it m’lady.” he sprinted away, ducking into the first alley he saw.
The guardian’s house wasn’t actually too far away from the action. Safely back to Adrien Agreste, he walked up to the door, resisting the urge to whistle. Nonchalonce, that was the key.
The door opened a crack when he knocked.
“Ah.” said the guardian. “I thought that you might turn up.”
“We need another miraculous. Some help.” Adrien muttered. “I thought this was going to be easy, but it got real hard real quick. Hawkmoth is not messing around.”
He entered the small house as the door opened an inch wider.
The guardian led him to the gramophone, and proffered the open miraculous box. Adrien’s hand hovered over the fox pendant, then he glanced at the turtle bracelet that the guardian was wearing. Something stopped him.
“What we need,” he thought aloud, “is time.”
He grabbed the snake miraculous.
“A wise choice.” said the guardian. “It will help you more than you know.”
Adrien shrugged off the cryptic message. “Thanks! I have just the right person.”
********
Luka was sitting on his bed, strumming his guitar in time to the music echoing tinnily in his ears. Juleka was out somewhere with Rose. It was their anniversary in a couple of days, and Juleka had been planning Rose’s gift for months. They were so cute together.
There was a thud on the roof. Luka barely had enough time to pull his headphones out, when there was a knock. He opened the cabin door and poked his head out.
Chat Noir stepped back hurriedly. Luka’s mouth fell open. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen him before - he made sure never to forget the first time that Ladybug entrusted him with a miraculous. Best day of his life.
“Hi.” he said, half waving.
“Hi.” said Chat Noir, brandishing a box at him. “Luka Couffaine, this is the miraculous of the snake.”
“Awesome.” breathed Luka.
“Yeah it totally is.” said Chat Noir grinning. “You’ve got to promise to give it back and stuff, but I need your help.”
“That’s fine. Whatever you need, Chat Noir.” he took the box and opened it, smiling as the kwami appeared in a flash of green light. He slid the bracelet onto his wrist. “Sass, scales slither!”
Chat Noir was still smiling widely. He looked Luka up and down, nodded to himself, and gestured for him to follow.
They ran through the streets, towards the growing carnage. The screams were dying down, which was a good thing, Adrien supposed, but anything that happened would be reversed when they inevitably won, and Ladybug reversed everything.
The akumatised victim was laughing maniacally to herself, twirling and spinning her handbag around sending objects flying down the street. Adrien went to shout her name, but paused to turn to Luka— no, Viperion.
“Do you know her name?” he asked.
“Like her original name?”
“No, her villain name.”
Viperion looked blank.
“Dammit.” said Adrien. “I don’t know it either.”
Viperion shrugged. “Do you have to say something to her?”
“Of course!” Adrien gasped. “I need to say something snappy, preferably with her name in it. It makes it more personal.”
“Maybe we should focus on beating her first.” suggested Viperion, dodging out of the way of a car that flew an inch past his head.
“Hmmm. You could be right.”
He ran up the street, swinging his stick.
“Hey!” he shouted.
“That would do it!” yelled Luka, following him.
Evil-akumatised-villain turned her head to stare at them. She was about to start laughing again when Adrien’s staff hit her squarely in the face.
“Cataclysm!” he dived for the handbag.
Missing by inches, he fell to the floor, landing hard on his side. His hand slammed into the pavement. He was left hanging over a gaping hole in the ground, clinging on to the edge.
“Chat Noir!”
Viperion skidded to a halt and knelt down, pulling Adrien out of the hole. The momentum landed Adrien on top of him. Neither of them blinked for a moment, and then Viperion was yanked sideways by a spinning handbag. He hit the wall with a crash and slumped to the floor.
“Hey! Handbag girl! That was rude, and the second time today!” he tutted. “Don’t you have any manners?”
“I’m fine.” groaned Viperion, pulling himself upright. “But you don’t have much time. Second chance!”
He slid his bracelet backwards, and suddenly:
“No, her villain name.” said Chat Noir, looking vaguely annoyed.
Luka shoved a hand over his mouth. Chat Noir looked affronted. He started to mumble indignantly.
“We need a plan.” said Luka. “This is already the second time we’ve done this.”
“Oh. What went wrong?”
“Nothing much— Don’t use your cataclysm yet.”
Chat Noir lowered his hand, surprised.
“See if we can get the handbag off her first. It’s a surprisingly good weapon. The akuma’s in there right?”
“Yeah.”
“Where’s Ladybug meant to be exactly?”
“Handbag injury. She’s healing up.”
Luka smiled, stepping out of the way of the car that zipped past his head instinctively. “Sounds about right. You hang back here, I’ll see if I can distract her.”
This was the worst part about being a superhero. The endless possibilities, and knowing that it was his job to redo the situation until he got it right. On the fifth go, Luka was pretty much sure that he had got the hang of it.
Chat Noir opened his mouth. “N—”
“Her villain name? Not sure, but I don’t think that it’s that important at present.”
Chat Noir’s mouth dropped open, but Luka stared at him meaningfully.
“Ohh. How many times?” he asked.
“Fifth. You need to wait for me to get thrown into the wall—”
Chat Noir raised a hand.
“I’m fine.”
Chat Noir lowered his hand.
“Then, Handbag girl throws her bag at me, and if you get the timing right - please get the timing right, I think I broke a rib last time - then you should be able to Cataclysm the bag before it hits me. Got it?”
Chat Noir opened his mouth, then closed it. He nodded, and winked. “We’ve got this.”
Luka wondered briefly, before dodging the car, if he was blushing that hard. Luckily, Chat Noir’s back was turned.
Getting hurled into a wall definitely was not the highlight of his day, but it was worth it, Luka supposed, although it did hurt a lot.
He opened his eyes and focused on the bright pink handbag hurtling towards him. He braced for the impact.
3...2...1…
Nothing.
A blur of black shot across his vision, taking the handbag with it.
Chat Noir landed neatly, ash crumbling from his fingers. The remains of the handbag were swept away in the breeze. An akuma fluttered out of it. Chat Noir’s panicked eyes met Luka’s.
“What do we do now?!”
“I don’t know! We never got this far!”
“It’s getting away!”
“Not for long!” Ladybug said triumphantly. She caught it expertly with her yoyo, before it could fly away. “Nice job guys!”
Luka smiled smugly.
Ladybug glanced at Chat Noir, as if expecting him to say something, but he held out his hand to Luka.
“Pound it.” they said together, grinning.
“Race you back to your boat?”
“You’re on.”
Luka crashed onto the deck of the boat seconds before Chat Noir landed neatly next to him.
“Beat you.” he panted, doubling over and laughing.
Chat Noir laughed as well.
“Sass, scales rest.” Luka said, pulling off the bracelet. He held it out to Chat Noir, who produced a box from nowhere.
“Thanks for your help Luka.” he said.
“No problem. Any time.”
On impulse, Luka leant forward and kissed Chat Noir on the cheek.
Chat Noir stood still after Luka pulled away, looking dumbfounded. “I— erm, I’ve got to uhh—”
He glanced down at his ring, which was blinking rapidly. He half waved and extended his stick, disappearing over the rooftops.
Luka waved back.
There was a strangled shriek from the cabin door.
“Oh. My. God!”
Luka spun round. “Juleka?!”
“You just kissed Chat Noir!” she breathed.
“I did not!”
“That’s not what I saw.”
“Okay!” Luka’s face fell. “It’s not like I even know who he is.”
“But you kissed him, and he didn’t freak! He likes you.” she said firmly.
“I thought you were meant to be on a date.” said Luka suspiciously. “I hope you didn’t ditch Rose.”
“Of course not. We’re watching a movie. I came up here to see if you were around, and if you wanted to come. And here you were.” she winked.
Luka groaned.
********
Adrien flopped onto his bed, running his hands through his hair. Luka had kissed him. Luka, Juleka’s brother. Luka, AKA Viperion, had kissed him.
“It’s not like you guys made out or anything.” offered Plagg. “It was literally a peck on the cheek. I don’t get why all this stuff matters that much.”
“It matters because… because he kissed me and he doesn’t know who I am. What if he secretly hates me as me? I can’t reveal myself to him.”
“Can’t you?”
“Of course I can’t! Can I?”
“Are there any rules about revealing yourself to civilians?”
“I don’t know.” said Adrien truthfully.
“Do you really like this guy?”
“Yeah. I think.” Adrien groaned. “I don’t know. Why is everything so confusing!”
There was no reply.
“Plagg?”
“Sorry.” said Plagg, his mouth full of cheese. “I’m probably not the person you should be speaking to about this. Would camembert help?”
Adrien turned over and buried his face in his pillow. He tried to make a sarcastic remark, but the pillow muffled it somewhat, and what came out was more like a string of strangled muttering.
********
Meanwhile, Luka was (in between a new song that he had been writing for Juleka) investigating.
The mission? Figure out Chat Noir’s secret identity.
Juleka had clipped her fringe back, shoved a pencil behind her ear, and pulled up her work laptop.
“You really like this guy, yeah?” she asked.
Luka nodded.
“It must be hard being Paris’ guardian, 24/7. What if he’s super old and creepy?”
Luka facepalmed. “I highly doubt he’s any older than us. You can tell.”
“You never know. You could be falling in love with someone’s ex-husband.” piped up Rose.
“Eww.” said Luka, glaring at her. “I thought you were helping me!”
“We are!” they chorused.
********
Adrien had been pacing for the last twenty minutes. “I’m going to see him. No - I can’t. Yes I totally can! No, I absolutely cannot. Plagg! A little help?”
“Sure sure. Just go see him. This is getting ridiculous.”
“You know what? I will.”
“Whoooo. Go you.” said Plagg, less than enthusiastically.
“Plagg - claws out!”
********
It was dusk on the Seine. The setting sun was reflected off the water in a thousand sparkling, iridescent shards of glittering glass. Luka was sitting on the prow of the boat, staring into the water. Rose and Juleka were asleep. Investigating was hard.
“Hey.” said a soft voice.
Luka looked up. “Chat Noir?”
“Yeah. Uhh I just wanted to stop by.” He landed lightly on the deck and leant on the rail next to Luka. “I’ve never had to do this before. I thought I liked someone for so long, and then you came along. This is a lot harder than I thought it would be.”
He laughed nervously.
Luka smiled. “Look. I really like you.”
“I like you too. And I thought that there's no rules about me revealing my identity to civilians. I know who you are, so why shouldn’t you know who I am?”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“I think I do want to.” Chat Noir reached for Luka’s hand. “You’ve got to promise you won’t freak.”
“I’m not going to freak.” said Luka suspiciously.
“Promise?”
“Promise.” Luka squeezed his hand.
“Okay then. Plagg - claws in.”
Adrien closed one eye, waiting for the rebuffal. Instead, there was a quiet, shocked gasp.
“Adrien?” said Luka incredulously pulling him into a tight hug. “You’re kidding!”
Adrien laughed relievedly. He wrapped his arms around Luka, squeezing his eyes shut.
From right next to his ear, there was a familiar voice. “You humans are so weird.”
“Shut up Plagg.” murmured Adrien. “We’re having a moment.”
Luka laughed. “You’re adorable.”