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It is a well known fact that life has a plan for you.
Well—for most people.
Daehyun, fortunately, is one of them. A single red string trails from his hand, tied in a simple loop around his thumb. As of now, it’s stretching far, out into the distance, possibly leading to wonderful places that Daehyun’s never considered walking to.
He’s never followed his string to find where it’d lead—it’s considered disrespectful and immature. Curiosity may be a strong force, but it’s not enough for him to abandon his morals.
Like everyone else, he’ll simply wait for his fate to find him, for them to find each other, or even for him to find them. He’s in no rush.
Not really, anyway. Daehyun’s always been a hopeless romantic, so the scenario of meeting his soulmate in various random places is overplayed in his head, after spending each of his nights imagining the encounter until he fell asleep.
Putting down his cup of coffee, he turns to a friend of his, Jaewon. Jaewon, he’s learned, is also a Fated one, with a string tied around his wrist. He’s one of the few with a rare placement, instead of the standard thumb or pinky.
“Hey...Wonnie…” Daehyun mumbles to him. Jaewon—as he folds a washcloth and places it under the counter—glances up at his friend.
“Yeah?”
“You wanna go get some food after your shift?”
“Ah…” Jaewon touches the bend of his index finger to his lip in contemplation, drumming his neat fingers against the countertop, and moving out of the way when Jun, a coworker, comes close to him to take out a rag from underneath. “I don’t think I’m busy...So yes! What do you want to get?”
“Cool! I dunno, what are you in the mood for?”
“Maybe something warm. It’s been getting pretty cold late—”
The chime of the entrance door’s bell cuts him off. And the three of them glance over to the door. “Welcome!” Jaewon cheers.
There was nothing remarkable about the stranger that walked in, Jaewon had thought as he looked over. He was handsome, and rather short, but otherwise was pretty normal-looking (as normal as anyone could get, at least).
So then why—
Why’s Daehyun looking at him like that? As if his whole world had been rewritten, as if reality as he knew it collapsed, as if—
Jaewon follows Daehyun’s eyes as they travel from his own hand to the stranger’s, and his heart aches in knowing. He’s found his Fated.
He wasn’t ready for this day. Finding your soulmate is always seen as a distant occurrence, something that’ll happen when you’re mature and ready, perhaps on a special day or in an important place.
Not like this, in the middle of a coffee shop as Jaewon’s struggling to fake a smile, watching Daehyun stand up so abruptly from his seat to greet his long-awaited. He should feel happy for his friend, seeing him finally achieve his dream of finding his other half.
Why—
Why?
Why did he have to fall for someone who was never meant to be his?
Those feelings—they ache inside him, knowing that they’ll never be reciprocated. Why can’t he just lose them already? He has a soulmate too...somewhere out there, waiting for him.
He’s so selfish for loving Daehyun. There’s someone out there that he’s destined to, and here he is trying to ruin it, not just for himself, but for three others, two of which he knows nothing about.
He should have known better than to fall in love.
***
It’s been two weeks already—Minsoo, Daehyun’s Fated, has been stuck to his side ever since. Daehyun found the disparity between life before and life with Minsoo shocking. There actually wasn’t much difference.
He loved him, of course—It was like a scene from a movie. As soon as they locked eyes, Daehyun could feel it, the warmth of finding something that you’ve been looking for forever. But it wasn’t up to the same standard he expected.
Maybe it was because he had set said expectations so high, believing that they’d be star-crossed lovers the moment they met. He should have known that, Fated or not, relationships never work that way. Not that he’s ever been in one. This is the first soulmate of his he’s met, and dating outside of your Fateds is considered a form of infidelity.
He never did subscribe to their beliefs, but dealing with the chance of being subjected to his family’s calumny is something he wants to avoid.
Daehyun picks up a stone and attempts to skip it in the river that sits ahead of him and Minsoo, holding it between his thumb and index finger as he tossed and released. The stone only sinks upon impact, with a silent plop.
“Oh, are you throwing stones?” Minsoo notices, putting his sandwich down on the picnic blanket they brought with them. “Here, I used to do this all the time growing up.”
Minsoo holds a flat rock in his hand, demonstrating his form with subtle pride. “Here, you have to spin it as you throw, but keep it parallel to the water. Like this.”
He flicks the stone out onto the river, smirking in satisfaction as it skips.
“Oh!” Daehyun gasps, awed. “Thank you! That was great…”
“Yeah,” Minsoo coughs, sipping his bottled water as he watches the river pass with an apathetic gaze. “You’re welcome, bro.”
***
The first time Daehyun meets Dongho, he’s immediately fascinated by his mere existence. He has such a captivating presence, the ability to command the aura of the room as if it were putty.
“Hey,” he announced, moving in to shake Daehyun’s waiting hand. “I’m Dongho. Minsoo’s friend.”
He seemed reliable. Not the most amicable, but reliable. Daehyun couldn’t decide whether to dislike him or love him.
That is, until Jaewon walked in. With a gasp, and the fall of a towel. Daehyun quickly realized Dongho’s true significance.
It always struck him as peculiar how subdued Jaewon’s reaction was to finding his soulmate. He was shocked, of course. Soulmates aren’t everyday occurrences.
But there was none of the zeal that Daehyun had felt when he met Minsoo, no visible excitement as his eyes met Dongho’s hand with red thread tied in looping patterns around his thumb, forming a sort of band. Maybe it was only because Jaewon just isn’t as expressive as most. That’s what he tried to convince himself, at least. It was too bothersome, the notion that Jaewon might not be as thrilled to find his Fated. He wanted his best friend to be happy, not feel forced into a life he never wanted.
But, as it turned out, Jaewon was happy. Not ecstatic, no, he could only reach that level of glee if it were anything worth being so worked up about. Specifically, in any event in which Daehyun reciprocates his feelings.
Nonetheless, this is the next best thing. Dongho, he learned was his name, served as a pillar to him. Not only a pillar, but a friend. He was polite, respectful, and loving. Everything he could ever ask for.
But of course, he wasn’t Daehyun.
Jaewon had shamed himself once again for thinking so. Dongho is his soulmate. He doesn’t deserve to be seen as second best
‘But how can I force myself to love him more than I do Daehyun? That would be no better, if it’s forced.’
Maybe with time, he’d be able to forget his feelings. He could only hope so, anyway.
***
“Jaewon…”
“Yeah?”
Daehyun picks up a ball of trash off of his living room floor and tosses it into a bag.
“Is it okay if I tell you about something? It’s about Minsoo.”
Jaewon winces at the frenzied anticipation that possesses him at those words, hoping that he was about to announce the ending of a relationship. He’s a terrible person for wanting them to leave each other. How could he wish heartbreak on the love of his life?
“Y...Yes. Of course!”
Daehyun, leaning back onto his carpet beside Jaewon, gazing up at the popcorn ceiling as if they were stars, glistening in their lonely silence so far above them.
At that moment, his problems felt so painfully trivial.
“I feel like he’s not really...I feel like he doesn’t love me. Not really.”
The shame compounds within Jaewon. He shouldn’t be feeling happy, he shouldn’t be rejoicing at his best friend’s pain.
“O-Oh? Why?”
“I don’t know…” Daehyun sighs, resting the back of his head on his inner arms that serve as an unforgiving pillow. “I guess just because he doesn’t really express any sort of love. He just...feels like a friend. I don’t know.”
“I see…”
“I’m sorry for dumping this on you,” Daehyun suddenly turns his head, and his smile wipes all troubles from Jaewon’s mind.
“No, it’s okay…I’m always here for you, Dae.”
Daehyun is quiet, watching the ceiling.
***
Jaewon lies still in Dongho’s arms, absent in his presence. The elder male’s curious gaze remains trained on him, he can feel it.
But what can he do? Only Daehyun fills his mind with his beauty and kindness, his struggles and celebrations. Oh, Jaewon would give anything to be a part of it all.
“Hey...Jaewonnie, you alright?”
“Hm?” He raises his head. “Oh yeah...I’m alright.”
The dark haired man takes his chin with his thumb and index finger, tilting it up a bit before leaning forward and pressing a kiss on his lips. God, every touch makes his heart hurt more.
Dongho doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve to be the second choice, this isn’t fair to him.
But what can he do? Jaewon’s nothing but a coward, and he doesn’t know if he can muster the strength to turn the man away.
***
“Yo, Minsoo!” Dongho calls, raising a hand to flag down his best friend, who races against the rain that pours, drenching him in its descent. When Minsoo finally reaches Dongho and joins him under his umbrella, he leans his head onto his chest.
“Why didn’t you bring an umbrella?”
“I didn’t know it would rain! Anyway, where were you? You took forever picking me up.”
“Ah—” He stops. “I was at Jaewon’s.”
Minsoo nods, biting his lip. Again, he was at Jaewon’s. It’s expected—He shouldn’t be upset over Dongho visiting his soulmate—but he resents them both for the fact nonetheless.
“Jaewon...you love him, do you?”
“Of course I do,” his lips curl into a tiny, unfamiliar smile. It sparks dread in the pit of Minsoo’s stomach. “He’s my Fated.”
“Yeah…You know, I was with Daehyun earlier today, and...I think I’m losing feelings.” The brunet admits, kicking up a gloomy puddle to paint the wall behind it with fresh, dark colors of moisture.
Dongho’s eyes widen a mite. “Really? Ah...You should let him know. How do you know that you’re falling out of love?”
He stops suddenly. Bringing their trek to a halt. “I—”
There’s a decision he’s itching to make. There are words he wants to say, things he wants to do, love he wants to give. And he’s too impulsive, too quick to deny himself the pleasure of indulgence.
Minsoo takes his best friend by the shoulder, his passion already in motion despite his mind screaming for him to stop, and steals a fervent, loving kiss from him, as if it were nothing but a high five.
Dongho himself is stunned, not only by the boldness, but by the disparity between Minsoo’s kisses and Jaewon’s. Just the thought of his boyfriend begins to spark guilt, but he can’t help his observation. Contrary to the soft, sleepy kisses he’s shared with Jaewon, Minsoo’s contains emotion, passion, dare he say, real love.
It’s then when he realizes Jaewon’s not loved him the same way Minsoo has.
He breaks away, softly pushing a tip-toeing Minsoo off his shoulders. It’s plain to see that the younger male already regrets it.
“I…”
“Dongho—”
“Give me a little while to think about it…Th...Thank you, Minsoo. Let’s get to my car.”
His reaction makes no sense to Minsoo. Normally, the appropriate “Dongho” reaction would be to chastise him, and to blame him for daring to attempt to spark an unfaithful relationship. So what’s this? It almost gives him hope, that maybe, just maybe, Dongho would lose his feelings for Jaewon and give Minsoo a chance. It’s not...impossible, is it?
The two walk in silence, eager to discover their real feelings about each other. With time, it’s sure to come.
***
The laughing of children, the spurt of the geyser behind him, the birds chirping as they prepare for future weather.
Daehyun needs something—anything—to keep him grounded.
He should have expected it.
He should have known—
It was so obvious, so terribly clear what was to come, even since the beginning. Minsoo’s never truly been that interested in Daehyun, not the same way he had been for him, but—
Maybe he was hoping that he was only being dramatic, that he was lying to himself and that Minsoo truly did love him, that he was just being insecure.
But as the brunet spoke those words, awkwardly clutching his winter coat close to his body, averting his eyes and watching the water fountain behind Daehyun…
“I’m sorry Dae, I just really don’t think I can keep a relationship with you. I’m sorry.”
It was bound to happen, of course it was going to happen, so why did he convince himself it wouldn’t?
“I’m really sorry. I’d still...I still want to be friends. You’re an amazing person, Dae.”
“I understand,” He nods, unable to move his downcast gaze from his shoes. If he looked up, he might’ve started crying.
To add insult to injury, once he finally does look up, he only sees Minsoo’s retreating back, and the abandoned end of a red string, lying dirtied and derelict on the ground. Daehyun chokes on a sob. The string—
He’s untied it. It’s official. His soulmate—or so he thought—has gone.
***
The string lingers on Daehyun’s thumb for a couple weeks after his heartbreak. He hated it, the reminder that he’s now alone, abandoned by the man he was supposed to be loved by most.
At least now, he can bear to even walk out on the street. Jaewon holds his hand as they stroll into a park, conversing and comforting each other.
“You’ll find another soulmate, Dae...Don’t worry! I know you will!”
The taller male smiles down at his hyung, as cheerily as he can muster to try to match his enthusiasm.
Jaewon really shouldn’t be as happy as he is now. His best friend, the love of his life, has just gotten his heart broken. How can he be so selfish?
“Thanks, Wonnie.” Daehyun giggles, cheeks painted pink. “I hope I will.”
“Me too…”
“Anyway, how’re you and—Oh.”
There’s a bench, just across the park, on which two familiar figures sit. Dongho and Minsoo, leaning against each other, wrapping arms around the other’s figure, laughing, cuddling.
“Oh...Jaewon…”
“It’s okay.”
Such a harsh response. Unusual, considering the elder’s commonly placid nature.
“I think I’m losing feelings for Dongho too. I guess this...this is just finalizing it.”
“Yeah, but,” Daehyun tilts his head a bit, leaning over to watch the sitting couple more intently. “This still isn’t right...I can’t believe he’d do that to you! If it were me, I would...Well…you know.”
Jaewon only smiles. “Yeah,” He laughs.The implication Daehyun gave might be as far as he gets with a relationship between them, but it’s still enough for him.
***
“Dongho,” Jaewon mumbles to the man lying in his lap.
“Yeah?”
“I, um…Don’t think I’m upset or anything, because I’m not...and I understand you...but...I know about you and Minsoo.”
The elder male pushes himself off of his boyfriend. Of course the confession would shock him. Rightfully so, Jaewon doubts that any normal person admits that they know their significant other is cheating and doesn’t get upset.
But there’s nothing wrong with being a bit abnormal, is there?
“I think...If you love him, and he loves you, you should go for it. You only have one lifetime, and to be honest…” He mumbles, looking up at his ceiling, “I’m...I’m in love with Daehyun. I—I know it’s probably not going to happen for me, but I can hope, and I might as well let you go find the person you really love instead of dragging you along because you were my first Fated.”
It’s strange, letting go of the person that you were destined to hold closest to you forever. It was all so odd from the beginning, actually. Jaewon never really felt any sort of special connection to Dongho, not as lovers, or anything similar.
With slightly parted lips, Dongho sits down beside him and takes a look at the red string that wrapped around his thumb. On the other end, where it was once laced around Jaewon’s wrist, it’s now loose and free. Jaewon’s feelings have faded.
He clenches his fist a bit, relieved at his newfound freedom, but still reeling from the bitterness that washed over him, knowing that the man he had loved just a few weeks ago is now nothing but a stranger.
Emotions—feelings are confusing, but least now, they’re not as complicated as they could have been. Minsoo’s smile crosses his mind, and Dongho laughs. Minsoo’s worth it. For him, Dongho would give up the world.
***
After knowing him for a decade and a half, Daehyun thought he fully understood what it meant to be Jaewon’s best friend. He thought he knew everything about him—his likes, dislikes, fears, loves, quirks—anything that there is to understand about a person.
So then…
Why is he so unsure now?
Jaewon’s always been supportive and kind, always the first one to be cheering him on. Daehyun loves him as his best friend, his other half.
But now there’s a longing. It’s indescribable, but so painfully prominent in his life that Daehyun could barely withstand another day of hiding it.
This is a different kind of love. He wants to be there for Jaewon in return, not just as his best friend, but—
Daehyun flushes.
J...Jaewon’s not his Fated…
It’s not meant to be.
Unless…
Fate isn’t a perfect force. It makes mistakes, from time to time. Maybe this is one of them. Maybe, it misunderstood just what love meant to him.
It wasn’t a new, fresh and attractive being like Minsoo that he was looking for. It was Jaewon. Always has been. Somehow, it’s only now that he realizes it.
Daehyun resolves to do something about it. He doesn’t know what, but he has to do something. Something, before a new string forms, and Daehyun loses the love of his life forever.
***
The chime of the doorbell of Coffee Days greets him, just the same as it always does.
“Morning, Jaewon!” Daehyun waves.
The male behind the counter turns to find his best friend standing there. “Daehyun! H—”
Jaewon’s gasp alarms the other, as his gaze travels down to look at his hand. Daehyun himself glances down, and—
His thumb, bare the night before, now has a red string tied around it. Dread fills him at the thought, imagining yet another faceless stranger entering his life and ruffling the calm he’s worked so hard to entertain.
But then, why did Jaewon look down along with him? People can’t see the strings of anyone but themselves and their—
‘Wait.’
Careful eyes trace the string’s length, draped over the edge of the white marble counter, leading to a pale wrist tied with red.
This is the first time he’s ever seen Jaewon’s string knot.
God, it’s beautiful. It wraps around his wrist in tiny braids, like a bracelet. Daehyun looks up once more.
“Dae...do...do you—?!” Jaewon chokes, tears burning his eyes.
He only beams, eyes the corners of his eyes crinkling with his smile.
“Jaewon!” He laughs, pushing past chairs to cross the counter and hug Jaewon, placing the shorter’s head gently on his own shoulder.
When he pulls away, Jaewon grips the hair on the back of Daehyun’s head and pulls him into an impassioned kiss, panting as he struggles to convey his love in such a simple action, and pushing Daehyun against the counter as he does so. When he pulls away, his deep brown eyes never leave the younger’s face.
“Dae...I’ve always loved you, you know?”
“Really?” He gasps, disbelief possessing him. How could he have been so lucky? So, so lucky, out of everyone in the world, he was the one that Jaewon wanted.
“Yeah, you took so long to realize it, you big dummy!”
“I’m sorry! Sometimes I’m a little slow…But I love you!”
“I love you too…”